I opened the door a crack, to check that he wasn’t behind her, or forcing her to get me to open the door.
“Can I come in?” she asked tiredly.
I opened the door wider, when I saw she was alone. My eyes darted around the hallway. I glanced up and down, trying to see if he was anywhere in sight, but he wasn’t. I stepped aside and let her cross into the room, until she stopped by Amber’s bed and gave her a tight smile. My eyes followed her as she sat down on the chair by her bedside and waited on me to join. I closed the door with a snap and moved over to sit on the bed by Amber’s foot, facing away from her as I listened intently to Agent Anders.
“So, Mr. Michaels, Tommy Jacks has been apprehended. It’s all over. He’s now heading downtown, with a few of my agents and will be incarcerated until trial. The DA is already working on the charges.”
Her cell began to ring, and I saw her eyes sweep down, then glance back up to me.
“We managed to arrest some of the people he was working with, but there are still a few out there. Until they are apprehended, you’ll need to be more careful and take precautions. Don’t leave the house alone and always make sure you have security with you. However, your bandmates are safe and all accounted for. On that note, there is someone outside the room, who wants to speak with you.”
She tapped on her cell and the door opened, my eyes widened in disbelief, as I saw Lewis standing there.
“Lewis, what the… how?” I asked numbly, as he walked into the room and gave me a smirk.
“Turns out, I’m bulletproof.” He muttered with a grin, as he came closer to me. I stood up and hugged him.
“You fucker. I thought you were dead.” I muttered, as I stepped back from him.
“Well yeah, you were supposed to. The Feds knew he was targeting you, so asked me to play bait. It was a good thing he, shot my chest though and not my head, because if he did, I’d really be dead.”
I turned to agent Anders, and she gave me a tight-lipped smile.
“We knew he was going after you and from his actions, that he would target someone else close to you. Our profiler thought it would be a good idea to leave someone out in the open, to try and catch him.”
She glanced at Lewis and gave him a smirk, and something passed between them. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I could see it there.
“He wasn’t supposed to get a shot at him, but we’d packed Lewis with a bulletproof vest and some cartons of fake blood. It meant that if a bullet was fired off, then we’d be able to fake his death, but we had to have you believe it. Only six people knew about this and five of them, were with Lewis. There was someone on our side, giving out information and working with Tommy to try and get to you. We didn’t know who it was, but we do now.”
Her eyes glared over my shoulder and I saw my dad being led from the sitting room with some cops.
“Wait, what?” I asked and turned to her with a frown.
“Yeah, I’m so sorry, Mason, but your dad was working with him. He tried to pull back after Helena, but by then, it was too late. He’d given Tommy access to your life and he threatened your mom, kids and granddad, so your dad was trying to play both sides.”
“Mason,” my dad called from the hallway and I looked at him in stunned silence.
“I’m so sorry, son. I just wanted you out of the music business. I didn’t think he’d hurt you, Helena or Ms. Davis and I’m so sorry.”
My head spun as I watched him being led from the house and I heard my mom cry from the bathroom door. I watched as she crumpled to the floor and broke down.
My dad.
My own father.
He betrayed me.
He used me, tried to destroy me, and he’d gotten my sister killed.
If he’d just come to me instead of going to him, then maybe Hel’s would still be alive. Amber wouldn’t be sitting at my back, with breaks and bruises all over her body. My body was cold, and my heart broken. As I sat staring after my dad and wondering why he hated me so fucking much.
Chapter Eleven
Pain and Devastation
Amber
Mason’s whole body stiffened, when he saw his dad. I couldn’t see his face, but his shoulders were tense, and his hands curled into fists at his side. I wanted to hold him because I could see his world was crumbling, but I couldn’t get to him.
My body ached as I moved closer to him, reached out and touched his lower back, trying to give him comfort. Trying to help him cope, but after a beat he shook off my touch and stood up. Storming from the room and closing the door at his back, with a snap. Lewis caught my eye and gave me a small smile.
“Hey, you’ve looked better,” he told me, I snorted and then laughed.
“Yeah, thanks Lewis. Glad you’re not dead.” I answered him.
He chuckled before he turned to the door. We could hear footsteps in the hallway and then nothing. For a few seconds, there was silence, as we all waited with baited, breath to see what Mason would do next. How he would react. Then there was the sound of something crashing, breaking and Mason shouting as more crashes sounded.
“Guess I better go check on him,” Lewis sighed.
Before I could say anything to stop him, he turned and rushed from the room. Leaving me with Danni and Mason’s devastated mom. Danni had crossed the room and was consoling her. I was sitting in the bed, feeling more and more helpless, as I waited for Mason to come back. I was sure he would, but a few hours passed, and he was nowhere to be seen. Eventually, I gave and took some medication that helped my body to relax against the pillows, as the pain relief kicked in. I drifted off to sleep thinking I would see Mason in a few hours, but it was days before I saw him again. When I did, I wished I hadn’t, because he was cold, distant, and aloof.
A few days passed, and Mason’s mom was staying. She was caring for the kids, since I was incapacitated. She would stop in to check in on me and make sure I was eating, drinking, and healing okay. She didn’t tell me about Mason, and I didn’t ask.
Three days later Mason strolled into my room, winced at the sight of me and then ignored me completely. He asked the nurse, looking after me for an update, on how long I was going to be unable to move.
As they conversed over my head, I wanted to scream at him to look at me. Before I could open my mouth, their conversation was over, and he was gone. That was the last I’d even see him in weeks. My body continued to heal, and I began to move around a little more. Able to leave the room unaided and eventually, my ribs were healed enough, that I could move around, without constant pain.
My morphine had been stopped and my head had healed completely. Although, I had a scar from my surgery and one from a cut on my forehead, but other than that, I was pretty much healed over. Mason was barely home and when he was, I didn’t see him at all. I spent more and more time alone. Even his mom, who was one of the kindest people I’d ever met, rarely came by to see me anymore.
The house was silent, and it was nice to sit with Lucas and Sofia and play with them, while his mom attended a counselling appointment. She’d asked me reluctantly to watch them and I’d jumped at the chance. We’d spent a few hours playing and giggling. Even though I was slower to move, I enjoyed spending the day with the kids. My hand went to my abdomen and I wondered for a moment. As I stood watching the kids napping, what it would have been like if my miscarriage hadn’t happened.
Would Mason have been around more?
Was that why he was staying away?
He hadn’t spoken to me in weeks and I didn’t know why. I was hoping once I was fully healed, that I would be able to talk to him. A tear rolled from my cheek, as I watched the kids and thought about what we’d lost, but it didn’t matter. It was just, a bunch of cells, not a baby, at least that was what I was trying to convince myself of.
I didn’t think Mason cared anyway. I missed him. I missed his warmth, his commanding nature, and his smile. I missed my life and I’d become such a shell of myself, tha
t I barely spoke to anyone when I did see them.
That night Mason’s mom arrived back and took over the kids, leaving me more bereft and alone, than before. I’d missed them so much. I didn’t know how to ask her to let me do my job without making a fuss.
I’d let her take over and went back to my room. My fingers shook as I dialed my mom’s cell, but it was disconnected. That hurt more than it should have. I didn’t want to go back to being the party girl, or anything like that. I just wanted to speak to my mom and maybe tell her how isolated I was feeling.
The next day, I walked from room to room, using my crutch to help, but no-one was in. Mrs. Michaels and the kids were out with her friends. Lexa and Quinn were on vacation, and I didn’t know where Harris was. Lewis had gone home to spend time with his mom, dad and sister. I didn’t see anyone at all. I was desperate to get my cast off and get out of Mason’s house.
I was standing in the kitchen waiting on the coffee pot to boil when Mason, Harris, and a few scantily clad girls, poured into the kitchen. My appointment to get my cast removed was in a few hours and I couldn’t wait. I’d showered, scrubbed, shaved, and cut my leg, but I was feeling a little better. Even though my ribs were mostly healed, I’d still needed to sit down afterwards. My long hair was in a French braid and my nails were painted. I’d even done my makeup to try to fill the hole in my chest. The ache in my chest was nothing to do with my injuries and everything to do with the man in the kitchen. He eyes darkened as he stood glaring at me, as though I was an intruder in his home.
“Wowzer, Amber, you look smoking,” Harris whistled as he took me in, and Mason’s eyes narrowed on me.
“Nah, I’ve seen better,” Mason hissed almost, but not quite under his breath and I stepped back away from him.
I’d picked a pretty denim skirt, put some leggings and my other shoe in my larger purse, for after my cast removal. I’d paired it with a white tank and see through blouse. My jacket and purse were on the counter and I had one MaryJane on. My eyes stung and one of the girls laughed.
“Oh, Mason, I think you hurt her feelings.”
My hands balled into fists and I spun away from them. I refused to let him, or these idiotic girls, see how much he was hurting me.
“Shame, huh,” he muttered.
He led them all out of room, with the girls giggling and laughing. My shoulders slumped, as the door closed and I sucked in a breath, at how dismissive he was of causing me pain. I didn’t want to do this anymore. I didn’t want to stay here anymore. I wouldn’t be his, or anyone else’s punching bag. Harris touched my shoulder and I jerked away from him.
“Amber, are you okay?” he asked in a low voice and I turned to face him.
“No, but it doesn’t matter. He hates me now, and he’s punishing me for something that happened to me. I was the one kidnapped. I was the one who went through a miscarriage all alone and I was the one hurt. I know he lost his sister and his dads now locked up, but none of that was my fault.”
He nodded at me and pulled me in for a hug.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’ll be okay. He’s just struggling and when Mason struggles, he punishes those closest to him. Can you stick it out a little longer? He’ll pull his head out of his ass soon.”
His soft words were spoken in my ear, as he hugged me gave me a little hope. It was squashed a moment later, when Mason walked back into the kitchen. He froze as he took us in and then a sneer crossed his lips.
“Didn’t take long, did it?'' he growled, Harris stepped back from me and turned to face his friend.
“Mase, knock it off.” He commanded and Mason laughed.
It was a cold laugh and every hair on my body rose, as he stepped towards me.
“Get. Out.” He hissed in my face and the smell of the alcohol on his breath, almost knocked me sideways.
“Mason,” Harris began and put his hand on his shoulder, but he shook him off.
“Get. Out.” He yelled again, making me back up a step, but he followed me.
“I don’t want you here. I let you stay until you were better, but now you are you can leave. Go on. Get gone. That’s what you’re good at, isn’t it?”
My eyes widened at his viciousness and I shoved him hard away from me.
“Mason you know what, fuck you and fuck this.” I hissed.
I stormed by him, scooping up my cell that he’d replaced for me and shoving it into my purse, along with my jacket. I hobbled along the hall and out onto the driveway. My fury kept me going, until I was out on the main road. The exertion was hurting me, and I sat on a low wall, to catch my breath. My cell was ringing and ringing in my bag, and when I took it out, I saw Mason’s number. I ended the call and switched it off. My vision was blurring, and my throat burned, as I sat staring at my shaking hands.
What the fuck had just happened?
Why had he been like that?
My heart was hammering, as I played back the encounter, the fury I saw on his face and the hatred hurt me so much more. It killed me more than his freezing me out and ignoring me for weeks. It didn’t matter, I told myself. Trying to convince myself that the pain I was feeling, was just because once again, I was alone, but it was fine. I would be fine.
The money for the cars was in my savings account and my jewelry had all been sold. I had some money put aside, plus all of my wages from working with Mason, so I had enough to start over, but I still loved him. Despite the pain, despite the fact that he was hurting me, I loved him. I gave myself a mental shake and stood up again, hobbling down the hill, towards the bus stop, that would take me towards the hospital. I made it with minutes to spare and got on the bus, without looking back. As the it moved, I closed my eyes for a beat, then sat up a little straighter, when someone sat down beside me.
“Excuse me,” the girl said.
I glanced sideways at her and shuffled closer to the window. As the bus rolled towards the hospital, my fingers itched and my leg burned with the desire, to get the cast off. Once the bus stopped at the hospital, I got off, and went in to get it removed.
The saw looked scary. Even though they told me I wouldn’t feel it, I couldn’t help the fear that it was going to cut my leg off. It was fine though, and the removal was quick and painless. I had an x-ray, so they could check the healing, but it was all completed very quickly, and I was dismissed by a smiling nurse.
“You’re free to leave now, but remember that your left leg will be weaker for a while. You’ll need to do some strengthening exercises, but it’s healed nicely.”
Once she’d finished and given me a leaflet, I was free to go, but where I was going? I didn’t know. I couldn’t go back to Mason’s house. I called a cab and checked to see if there were any hotels with vacancies that I could book into, at least until I figured something else out.
My cell was going crazy when I turned it on and message after message arrived. I didn’t check them, or answer the two calls that appeared on my screen. I waited for my cab to arrive and then quickly turned my cell back off, as I climbed into the back of it. As the driver drove to the hotel, I leaned back against the headrest and closed my eyes. Exhausted and overwhelmed with everything that had happened. I needed to get my stuff from his house, but it could wait a day.
We arrived after twenty minutes and I paid the driver with the rest of my cash, before using my card to check into the hotel. Once I was safely in the room, I turned my cell on again and sent Mason a message, without reading his.
I’ll be over tomorrow, for my things.
I quickly shut it down again and tossed it into my purse, before crawling onto the bed and switching on the TV. I scanned for a few minutes and settled on a movie, that I enjoyed. It was about a girl fighting for her life and settled back to watch the movie. I spent my night trying to ignore the pain clawing up my throat and eventually succumbing to the agony, I held the pillow to my chest as I sobbed into it.
He chose this, not me.
He wanted me gone
, so I was gone, and I wouldn’t be sucked back in.
I told myself sternly as the movie played and captured my attention. I just hoped I could convince myself of it. I didn’t deserve how he’d treated me, isolated me, and hurt me, so I was over it. I was done with his games.
It was over.
Chapter Twelve
Fuck Ups
Mason
I’d hit rock bottom, before when Ollie left. When Amber blew by me and stormed out of my house, that was beneath rock bottom. It was hell. I tried to play it off, until Harris rounded on me and told me he’d comforted her, because of my behavior.
I’d taken those girls back to punish her. I couldn’t face her, or the guilt and pain that I felt, when I saw her. Like a child, I’d ignored her, belittled her, and made her feel unwelcome in my home. I didn’t deserve shit from her, but she deserved more from me.
I tried to call her and at first her cell rang, but then it went straight to the voicemail. I tried to track her, Joe and Norry went to try and find her, but I didn’t know where she was, or where she’d been going, when she was in the kitchen. She was so beautiful, that I couldn’t even look at her. My dickish behavior hurt her. When I came back to apologize to her, I noticed her in Harris’s arms, and I saw red. She should have been in my arms, God damnit.
He was furious with me for how I’d been treating her. Dealing with Amber, meant facing up to the fact that she’d gotten hurt, lost our baby and almost lost her life because of me. I couldn’t deal with any of it, so I did what I always did when my emotions got too much for me. I threw myself into work and then drank to numb the pain. It was what I’d always done. It was my crux and it made me an asshole.
I spent time with my babies and my mom, but mom was only staying for another few days. She was going to stay with my aunt Gemma, in New York. She needed a break, time to heal, to deal with my dad's betrayal and Helena’s death. Amber didn’t know any of it, because I had asked everyone to let her heal alone. She didn’t need everyone’s problems on top of her own, and I was trying to do the right thing. The look on her face though, when I screamed at her to go, made my heart sting. I had to find her. We’d scoured her room, searching for clues, and coming up empty.
Broken Mercy Page 10