by Carrie Elks
Logan sighed. “Yeah, it’d kill me, too.”
“I guess even the Hartson brothers can’t solve every problem.” Tanner blew out a mouthful of air. “It sucks.”
Wasn’t that the understatement of the year?
“Yeah it does.” Cam nodded. “It sucks like crazy.”
“Can I speak to Michael?”
Mia stared at Cam, her heart racing at his close proximity. He was the last person she’d expected to see standing on the front steps when the doorbell rang. It was unfair. She wasn’t prepared. All she wanted to do was roll onto her tiptoes and press her lips against his, as though that would make everything okay.
But it would only make things a hundred times worse.
“It’s not a good idea.” Her hands were shaking. “He’s still in a terrible mood, and isn’t coming out of his room.” She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. His gaze dipped to her mouth. “Give him some time.”
“I haven’t got any.” His words were simple, but they made her frown. “That’s what I wanted to talk to him about. I wanted to…” Cam shook his head. “I don’t know. Apologize, I guess. And tell him I won’t be coaching him anymore. Or anybody for that matter.”
“You’re not going to stay at Columbus High?” Her voice was thin. She knew she had bags under her eyes that matched his.
“I’m not staying in Hartson’s Creek. I can’t. I’m going to take the job in L.A. if I’m offered it. And if I’m not, I’ll stay in Boston for a while, work out my next move.”
She wasn’t surprised at the tears stinging her eyes. They felt like a constant companion since Monday. But she was shocked at how much her hands started shaking. Her body felt light, too spacey.
“You don’t need to leave,” she whispered.
“Yeah, I do. I can’t stay around here. Not with you here, too. It’s just too hard.”
The tears spilled over, running hot trails down her cheeks. “Oh Cam…”
“Please don’t cry, baby,” he said, swallowing hard. “It makes me want to hold you, and I can’t.”
Wiping the stubborn trails away with the heels of her hands, she nodded, her eyes captured by his. For a moment they stared at each other. Her chest felt painful, as though her heart might explode at any moment.
“I wish…”
“I know.” He nodded. “Believe me, I know.”
“Will you be okay?” Her eyelashes felt wet as she blinked.
“Eventually.” His smile was grim. “I’ll throw myself into football. It’s always worked before.” He didn’t sound too convinced.
“Maybe you’ll find somebody out there.” She attempted a smile. “Somebody with no kids to take on.”
“I told you, I love your kids.” He glanced down at the step. “I just wish they liked me.”
A tiny sob escaped her lips, despite her best effort to stop it. She wanted to beg him to stay. To ask him to wait. But it was a selfish impulse. Michael might take years to get over this. She couldn’t ask Cam to hang around, hoping her son grew up and got over himself.
Even if part of her wished he would.
“I’ll work out a payment plan for your car repairs,” she said. “Send it to you.”
Cam shook his head. “No. That’s my one request. Let me write it off. It’s paid. That damn car has caused more problems than its worth. Maybe next time I’ll get a minivan or something.”
The smallest of laughs escaped her lips. “I’m glad you had that car. It’s how I met you.”
He exhaled softly. “Yeah. And I don’t regret that. Not for a minute.”
“Me either.” She held his gaze. Was this the last time she’d see him? It was agony not to touch him. Not to reach for his hand and slide her fingers between his.
“I’m going to miss you.” He tried a smile, and failed miserably. “So damn much.”
She nodded, her throat full of unshed tears to say anything. Behind her, the rumble of feet on the stairs made her turn around. Michael was standing in the hallway, eyes narrowed as he realized who was at the door.
“What’s he doing here?” His voice was full of anger.
“Cam came to see you. To tell you he’s leaving town.”
“Good.” Michael turned and walked into the kitchen, slamming the door behind him, making Mia jump. She was going to have to deal with him. He couldn’t keep behaving like this. She’d given him some grace, but his attitude was as bad as it had been when they arrived. But first she needed to get through this pain, because it was getting hard to breathe.
“Sorry.” She turned back to Cam.
“It’s not your fault.” He ran his hand through his hair. “I guess I should go.”
She nodded. “Okay.” But it wasn’t okay. None of this was. It was killing her. “But can I ask you something first?”
“Sure.”
“What you said to Michael about falling in love with me, was it true?”
He swallowed hard. “Yeah, it’s true.”
“Because I need you to know something. I fell in love with you, too.”
The pain that crossed his face was palpable. She could feel the reflection of it in her own heart. His eyes were glassy as he gave her a nod, then walked down the steps toward his car.
“Goodbye, Mia.” He walked away, and she watched him, her breath catching in her throat.
He was leaving. And maybe in the end that would be a good thing.
But right now it was tearing her apart.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
She had to pull herself out of this funk. It had been over a week since she’d last seen Cam and she was feeling worse than ever. Mia took a deep breath and tried to concentrate on the marketing plan spread across her large monitor, but nothing seemed to make sense. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she’d barely eaten anything substantial for days. But every time she took a bite of something, it tasted like ashes.
At least she was at work. It was a haven compared to the heavy atmosphere of home. Michael was still in the foulest of moods, made worse by her chiding and sending him to his room. Sam was mostly at the bar – he hadn’t asked what had happened but she was certain he had a good idea. Either way, he was making himself conspicuously scarce, and right now she was grateful for it.
The only light in the darkness was Josh. He was still confused about the argument in the street, but she’d managed to distract him with movies and board games, and of course, football.
If only she were so easily distracted. It wasn’t as though she hadn’t tried. On Saturday morning, she’d gone to a yoga class, hoping that some zen would rub off on her. But all it had done was make her miss Cam’s touch. He would have laughed at the way she fell over trying to do downward facing dog.
Let the love doctor help.
She shook that thought out of her mind.
“Hey, coffee’s here,” Becca said, carrying two Styrofoam cups into Mia’s office. She passed one to Mia and sipped at the other, sitting on the corner of Mia’s desk. For a moment she stared at Mia, her eyes full of compassion. “You look like shit,” she said, wrinkling her nose.
Mia almost laughed. “Thanks.”
“I know it’s none of my business, but Gray told me what happened between you and Cam. And I’m not asking you to talk to me about it, because I know it’s all kinds of complicated with Cam being my brother. But if you ever need a friend, I’m here.”
The laugh turned to tears. Mia blinked them away. She wasn’t going to cry at the office.
That was the kind of reputation she definitely didn’t want.
“Thank you.” She gave Becca a tight nod. “I appreciate that.”
“Good. So now you can tell me why I’ve been called to join the board meeting this afternoon.”
“Gray hasn’t told you?”
“Gray?” Becca blinked. “I know he’s agreed to be the face of the new blend, but what’s that got to do with me? Apart from being his gorgeous and perfect little sister.” She took a sip of her coffee, starin
g at Mia over the rim.
Gray had come in as promised last week, and signed the contract on Monday. The whole board was buzzing with excitement.
Mia sighed. “I guess you’re going to find out soon enough. Eliana wants you and your brothers to be part of the advertising campaign, not only Gray. She wants a long form movie commercial where you’re all talking and drinking whiskey, and she wants you to narrate it.”
“Me? Why?” Becca frowned.
“Because you’re the lead distiller for the blend. And we want to appeal to a female demographic.” Mia shrugged. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’d do an amazing job.”
Becca blushed. “Shut up.” She looked over at the window, her brows furrowed together. “Surely Gray would be better at narrating. He’s got that husky voice thing going for him. Or Logan, he’s good at talking.” She widened her eyes. “Will Cam be involved?”
Mia took a deep breath. “I have no idea.” Part of her hoped he wouldn’t. She wasn’t sure she could bear to see him again. She was barely holding it together as it was.
The other part? The one that kept her dreaming as a little girl, and hoping for better as a woman… that part was desperate to see him again. Even if the impulse was masochistic.
“I hate that he’s going to take the job in L.A.,” Becca confided. “I was just getting used to having my whole family back again.”
Another stick for Mia to beat herself with. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh no, this isn’t your fault. It’s Cam’s. He didn’t have to leave, he chose to.” Becca shot Mia a sympathetic glance. “You know what? I’m going to say yes. This could be fun. And maybe a chance to get back at my big brothers. I could tell all their secrets in the narration.”
“Just remember, Gray’s the face of the whiskey. He’ll be going on talk shows and using lots of social media. He’ll easily get his own back, too.”
“Maybe I’ll leave him out. Start with Tanner and work my way up.” Becca shrugged. “I’ve got years of dirt on them. It could be fun.”
Mia’s attempt at a smile was more successful this time. “I bet it could.”
“I wish I could do something to make you feel better,” Becca said, her voice soft. “I hate to see you so down. Have you been eating?”
“Not as much as I should.” Mia shook her head. “But I will. I’ve been through heartache before. I know it’s only temporary.”
But it didn’t feel like it was. This separation from Cam felt like a tsunami of pain compared to the breakup of her marriage. It was illogical, but true. She hadn’t lost five pounds the week after Niall left. Or suffered from so many nights without sleep.
“I guess I should go. If I’m going to be an international superstar, I want to wear some makeup to this meeting. I’ll see you in the boardroom.”
Mia nodded. “See you there.”
Putting her cup on the desk, Becca leaned forward and hugged Mia tightly. “I’m so sorry my brother broke your heart.”
Mia squeezed Becca tight. “He didn’t,” she said, her voice muffled by Becca’s shoulder. “I broke my own heart.”
“Hurts just as much though, doesn’t it?”
Yeah, it really did.
Wrapping a towel around his neck, Cam walked out of his home gym and toward the intercom, pressing on the button to let Brian in. Two minutes later, his assistant was knocking on the door. Cam opened it and stood aside as Brian carried a cardboard tray with two coffees and two muffins inside.
“Come in.” Cam sighed. He’d been back in Boston for two days, having flown here straight after his meetings in L.A., and already he was bouncing against the walls.
“Man, you look terrible,” Brian said, wrinkling his nose. “And you stink, too.”
“If I’d have known you were coming over, I would have put on some makeup.” Cam gave him a sardonic smile. “And I can’t smell any worse than the Bobcats’ locker room.”
“Which is exactly why I avoid the locker room.” Brian took the coffees out of the holder, then walked around to Cam’s kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “Catch,” he called out, throwing it to Cam.
The bottle landed steadily in the middle of Cam’s outstretched palms. At least some things didn’t change.
This apartment felt less like home than ever. The kitchen was strewn with takeout boxes and dishes that Cam couldn’t find the energy to clean up. Maybe tomorrow he’d give a shit about the state of the place
“You need a cleaner,” Brian said, pointing at the sink. “Want me to call yours?”
“You don’t work for me anymore.”
“I remember.” Brian grinned. “But I’m still your friend, right?”
Cam swallowed. He felt like shit. “Yeah, of course. And I’m sorry. I’m feeling a little bitchy. I worked out hard.”
“I can tell that from the sweat. And by the way, if you answered your phone occasionally, I’d have arrived after your shower. Are you avoiding me or something?”
“Not you in particular.” Cam swallowed a mouthful of water. “I’m ignoring everybody.” The truth was, he’d put his phone in the hallway dresser drawer when he arrived, afraid that if he looked at it for too long he’d call or message her. He knew himself too well. He’d tell himself that one chance to hear her voice wouldn’t hurt, but then he’d be hooked again. He’d want more and more and it would kill him.
Who was he kidding? He was still hooked.
“Derek asked me to check on you. He’s worried about you.”
“Yeah, that’s because I’ve been avoiding him, too.”
Brian leaned on the counter, eyeing Cam carefully. “I know on the outside Derek’s a mean vampire of an agent, but I think he really likes you. He’s worried about you. Says you were only going through the motions in L.A. I thought you’d made up your mind it’s what you wanted.”
“I did.” Okay, so it wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but he couldn’t have that. L.A. would be second best.
“He’s working really hard at getting you a top rate package. But you need to speak with him. Meet him halfway.”
“I know.” Cam nodded. “I’ll call him.”
“Today?”
“If you want.”
“It’s not about what I want,” Brian said, giving him a tight smile. “It’s about you. You’re the talent. It’s always about you. If you don’t want to go to L.A., you need to tell Derek.” Brian tipped his head to the side, scrutinizing Cam carefully. “Are you sure you want to leave your family? You seemed happy when you were in Hartson’s Creek.” Brian gave a little laugh. “I mean, you didn’t call me much, because you’re an asshole of a boss, but when we did talk, you sounded good.”
“It was a good break,” Cam said, his chest tight. “That was all.”
Brian nodded. “Okay, man. So I’ll call the cleaner and have her come tomorrow. And arrange for some healthy meals in your refrigerator. Where’s your phone? Since you’ve been ignoring my calls, I imagine you’ve ignored everybody else’s. I’ll go through the messages and reply where I can.”
His simple kindness made Cam feel strange. “It’s in the hall dresser drawer. Along with the charger.”
“Good. Now go shower. I can’t concentrate with all these damn pheromones filling up the apartment.”
Cam rolled his eyes. “I’ve kind of missed you, you know that?”
“Yeah, well. You can give me an end of contract bonus.”
“You’ll get more than that.” Cam’s face turned serious. He grabbed the keys he’d slung on the kitchen counter two days ago, pulling one off. “If you fancy a trip to Hartson’s Creek, there’s an Audi parked outside my house there. You pick it up, it’s yours.”
Brian laughed, but then when he realized Cam was serious, the smile slid from his face. “What?”
“The car’s yours. Honestly, I don’t want it.” It was another reminder he couldn’t take. “And if you go there, can you take two of the Depuis watches in my drawer with you? I want you to
give them to two kids I know. I’ll give you the address.”
“What is this? Why are you giving away all your assets?” Brian lowered his voice. “Are you feeling suicidal?”
“No, I’m not.” Cam sighed. “They’re just things I don’t want anymore. I want to go to L.A. with a clean slate. Leave a lot of the shit behind.”
“I’ll go pick up the car early tomorrow, and get you anything you need from the house. I’ll even deliver those watches. But I don’t want your Audi. If you really insist, sell the damn thing and buy me another car. One I can actually afford to insure.”
A ghost of a smile passed Cam’s lips. “It’s a deal.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Mom!” Josh came running into the kitchen, one shoe on, the other goodness only knew where. She could tell from the milk mustache that he hadn’t brushed his teeth like she’d asked him to.
“You have fifteen minutes until we need to leave for breakfast club,” she told him. “There’s no time for running around right now.”
“But Cam’s here. His car just pulled in the driveway.”
Mia’s hand froze mid air, her coffee cup clutched in her fingers. “Cam’s not here. He moved away, remember?”
“He’s here. It’s his car. I’m not stupid.”
“Whose car?” Michael asked, sloping into the kitchen. He glanced down at Josh. “Why’ve you only got one shoe on?”
His mood still hadn’t improved much in the last week. But at least he was being kinder to Josh. As for Mia, he was mostly ignoring her, unless she asked him a direct question. Then she’d get a grunt or a head move in response.
“Because I saw Cam pull in the driveway while I was putting them on.”
“Cam’s not here.” Michael frowned, glancing at Mia from the corner of his eye. “Right, Mom?”
She opened her mouth to reply, but the sound of the doorbell echoed through the hallway.
“See?” said Josh, jumping excitedly. “I told you.”