Not that he believed Ellise would do such a thing…
Hellfire. He stomped down the stairs before he gave in and returned to her. He lost the ability to think in her company. First he needed to clear his head. Pacing quickly across the bailey, he took the steps up to the ramparts and stared out over the village. The entire population relied on him to make the right decisions. Surely sending Ellise away was the best choice for them? A witch in their midst could only bring trouble.
James slammed his palm against the stone wall. If only the thought of never seeing her again did not threaten to crack his heart in two.
~***~
Ellise sank to the floor as her knees gave out from underneath her and pressed the balls of her hands to her eyes as she expelled another sob. What had she expected? That he would throw aside all he’d been taught and embrace her for who she was?
Aye, aye she had. It seemed that even love was not enough for James. She should have trusted her instincts and remained a stranger to the Captain. Fear of witches was widespread. Why did she imagine James to be any different? But she was no witch. Why did he not see that? He knew her. Almost better than anyone. And this night she was prepared to tell all. To beg for his help reclaiming her son. She had been sure that he was ready to accept everything about her, even her wretched past.
It seemed she was wrong.
She dabbed her eyes with her sleeve and sucked in a long breath. There was nothing to be done now. If she had to crawl on hands and knees and beg for Edmund to take her as his, then she would. As long as she had her son back, then nothing mattered. Her one hope of happiness was gone. James' inability to see her for who she was had made sure of that. Damn the man.
Dios mio, if only she did not still love him.
She sat there until dawn greeted her, crying sporadically, short painful bursts before attempting to pull herself together. What hurt the most was that she still respected him. She understood his decision. Captain James put the people of Thornewall first, always. How had she expected that he would behave differently for her? If he thought she might be dangerous, he would believe he had a duty to protect Thornewall from her.
And he could well have had her locked up and tried as a witch. Her stomach twisted as she considered the likely outcome of a witch trial. With her knowledge of herbs, she would surely be found to be one. She laughed, a weak spluttering laugh. People were so fickle. Happy to have your aid when they were in need but as soon as the word witch was uttered, you were the very devil himself.
Clambering to her feet, she straightened her skirts and went to look for Edmund. She took a moment on the stairs to gather herself as tears crawled up her throat again, tingling in her eyes. She had no choice; if she wanted Arias, she would have to submit to the Earl. She still did not have quite enough coin and she could wait no longer. Edmund wanted her and so she would go with him.
As she blinked in the sunlight at the bottom of the stairs, she glanced around, relieved not to see James. She dare not risk seeing the accusation in his eyes again. The disappointment.
The betrayal.
A flicker of robes caught her eye and she spotted Edmund leaving the hall for the chapel. Skirts in hand, she scurried over to his side.
He released a slow grin as he saw her. “Lady Ellise, to what do I owe this pleasure?”
“A word, if you will, my lord.”
“Indeed.” He motioned to the small alleyway that ran between the walls of the keep to the chapel.
Ellise followed, ignoring the niggling sensation that she was making the biggest mistake of her life. But it could be no bigger than the one she’d already made when her son was born. She should have given up the fight years ago and just accepted Edmund as her husband. As vile and as violent as he was, would it have mattered if she had Arias? She laughed inwardly. She’d always been taught to hope, to fight for better. And look where that had got her. Heartbroken, lonely, and penniless.
Edmund sat on one of the pews and motioned for her to sit next to him. She swung her gaze around. There was no priest to be seen. No one sat in the empty benches. She was alone with Edmund and who knew what he would do to her? But she would be his before long and then he would have every right to her, so what did it matter?
She licked her lips as she sat and he eyed her. “When...when you said you would still take me for your wife, did you speak the truth?”
His grin widened. “I did.”
Ellise stared at her hands as she twined them in her skirts. “And if I agree to marry you, I will be able to claim my son back?”
“You will be seen as his stepmother. He has been my son all these years.”
She didn’t argue with him. All the fight deserted her. No doubt no one would question how the boy came into the Earl of Wighthurst’s hands. Mayhap they thought her a whore and her son a bastard. Either way, Wighthurst blood ran in his veins and that was enough to ensure the earldom had an heir.
“But you will not keep him from me?”
“Nay, I will not keep him from you.”
“Then...” She kept her gaze lowered, her chest tight as she forced the words out, “I will consent to being your wife.”
She saw him nod out of the corner of her eye but she could not bring herself to meet him face on, to see the smug satisfaction in his expression.
“Good. You could have saved yourself much pain had you simply agreed to my terms all those years ago. But ‘tis no matter.” He snatched one of her hands and squeezed tightly, making her wince. “I will be sure to make up for the time lost.”
She nodded absently, hearing the lascivious tone to the statement. Her stomach curdled.
“But first I must make my stand clear.” He used his other hand to force her face to his, fingers digging into her chin. “I will have complete obedience. You have a wicked tongue, Ellise, and I will have none of it. I will not have my son witness a woman disrespecting her husband. Disrespect me and I will see you punished accordingly. And...”
Ellise tried to twist her face away but his grip was too strong. She swallowed and forced herself to breathe slowly. If would be worth it, she told herself. It would be.
“...you will not see Captain James again. I have seen the way you look at him, the way he looks at you. Should you ever consider running into his arms, I will make sure you both regret it. Do not underestimate my power, little darling. I can ensure the Captain will meet with an unfortunate accident, should you change your mind about our nuptials.”
Fear blocked her throat as the vision she’d had that night swamped her. Was this what it meant? She had seen James, impaled on a sword. It had been hazy but her visions often came true. She glanced into Edmund’s steely eyes. She did not doubt his threat. To keep James safe, she would have to stay away from him. It was doubtful he would ever want anything to do with her anyway, but she vowed to ensure his safety by never bowing to the weakness in her James created.
“Do you understand me, Ellise?” Edmund pressed.
She nodded vigorously. “I understand.” She sounded husky and weak but she felt it.
Powerless, hopeless. Her life stretched out in front of her, never-ending days of enduring whatever Edmund wanted of her. She’d fought so long against it and for what? For him to threaten the man she loved most in life. Still, at least he had made it easier to submit to him. With the thought of James coming to harm in the back of her mind, it was as if all the fire inside had been well and truly extinguished.
Ellise did not even fight as he brought his mouth to hers, a forceful kiss that probably drew blood when his teeth bit into her bottom lip. She closed her eyes and took what he gave her, even as tears stung her eyelids.
Chapter Ten
James yawned and tried to focus on what Dominic was saying but his mind kept drifting. He stole a look out of the solar window and scanned the courtyard for any sign of Ellise. He’d deliberately skipped the morning meal but Lucy said she had not seen her yet.
“My brother will be staying for severa
l more days,” Dominic continued as James forced his attention back to the Lord. “And Isabel is on hand to help with the babes. Of course, Winnie is fussing over them too. These boys will be spoiled and pampered if I am not careful.”
Normally James would laugh at Dominic’s words but he couldn’t bring himself to. He felt empty, drained. Life had been sucked from him. It was all Ellise’s doing.
“I am sure you will teach them well,” he muttered half-heartedly to appease Dominic.
“Lucy wants to give Ellise a few day's holiday. The lass does work too hard. Reminds me of someone.”
James nodded vaguely.
“Mayhap you can find a way to keep her from working.” Dominic grinned.
“I have little idea what you mean.”
“Do you not? And here I thought we were to see a marriage before long. Lucy seemed sure of it and she is seldom wrong. Even when she is, she isn’t.” Dominic shook his head, grin still in place.
“Well, she is wrong this time.” Coldness drenched him. The thought of never touching her again or hearing her laughter near crippled him. Where he normally felt so strong and capable, he felt weak and confused. He’d have to ensure she went on her way shortly, and he was not sure he could face it.
“A shame. I will always be thankful to Ellise. Lucy said that without her herbs and aid…” The Lord’s expression grew grim. “We know well that twins are not born easily. We could have lost them both were it not for Ellise. I know not the details but Lucy is convinced we would not have been so blessed had she not come to us.”
James sucked in a slow breath and mulled over his words. The anger had left him, leaving him hollow, but he still did not know what to do. These visions of Ellise’s were not normal and he had little clue as to what else she might be capable of. He smirked to himself as he recalled his notion that mayhap she had cast some kind of love spell over him. If that had been the case, then why had she fought him when she had first come to Thornewall?
Because she was scared. Because she knew what he would think. Damn it all, she had finally admitted the truth to him and he had jumped to conclusions. Did he really believe Ellise was capable of evil?
What a coward he was. Scared by dreams. Ellise had done so much for everyone in Thornewall. No witch would be as kind as she.
“Well, I fear we shall lose her soon then if you hold no interest,” Dominic was saying. “Wighthurst will surely snap her up. ‘Tis the only reason he has stayed so long. Our negotiations came to an end long ago.”
James’ nostrils flared as the image of Wighthurst touching Ellise, loving Ellise seared his mind. “Like hell he will.”
Without even pausing to see Dominic’s reaction, he stormed out of the solar. He needed to find Ellise before she left and somehow make up for his idiocy. He only prayed he could persuade her to stay. Persuade her to love him once more.
~***~
Standing on top of the ramparts, Ellise forced herself to take slow breaths as James approached. Was he here to throw her out? To question why she had not left yet? She had not had the heart to search him out to tell him of her marriage plans yet, to assure him she would be leaving Thornewall and would never look back.
He gripped his hands behind his back and studied her. He did not look angry anymore. The need to jump into James’ arms, to seek his comfort and protection was unbearable. A crease formed on his brow as she refused to meet his gaze. Did he notice her puffy eyes? Ellise hoped not. If he spoke with sympathy, she may just crumble. Nay, he seemed… awkward. How unlike the coolly confident Captain.
James scraped a hand through his hair and turned away for a moment before facing her once more. She allowed a brow to rise as she eyed him, still trying her best not to meet his gaze. Lord, how beautiful the man was. Her heart ached at the thought of never seeing him again. The sun made his skin glow. The light breeze ruffled his hair and she longed to twine her fingers through it and feel its softness, to trace the line of his chin and finger the dip in it.
“What is it you want, Captain?” Aye, this was good. She sounded cool and in control.
He squeezed his fist at his side and she saw his knuckles whiten as he expelled a long breath. “You...” He paused and cursed under his breath. “Ellise, you must—that is...” He gulped audibly. “Ellise, you will marry me,” he spilled out, his tone harsh.
She blinked and frowned. “Pardon?”
“Marry me.”
“James, what is this?” She tugged her loose hair away as it blew across her mouth and stuck to her parted lips. Inside her stomach flipped, her mind screamed. Why now? Why did he have to do this now when all was settled?
He stared briefly at his feet and tucked his hands behind his back, drawing himself up to his full height. “I should think you would recognize a marriage proposal, Ellise. You are a clever lass.”
She shook her head at his abrupt manner. Now he was insulting her? “Well, you will forgive my surprise, but only yesterday you were ordering my expulsion from Thornewall and now you demand my hand?”
Jaw clenched, he sucked an audible breath through his teeth. “I may have been hasty in my assumptions yesterday.”
He inched closer, stealing her breath. He reached out to snatch her hand but she flinched away and faced the wall. Hands gripping the stone, she stared out at Thornewall beneath them. A tremor ran through her as she considered what she’d have to do. She couldn’t say aye, not when he risked death by being with her, but James was a determined man. She needed to be sure he would want nothing more to do with her. Needed to hurt him. Dios mio, she did not want to.
“You must forgive me, Ellise.”
She didn’t face him, just continued to stare into the distance. “Must I?”
“Aye, you must. I...I proved myself but a fool, Ellise. I gave you no chance to explain. You were honest with me and I repaid that honesty with disdain.”
He took a step closer and reached for her hand, removing it from the stone. She didn't fight him when he coaxed his fingers through hers, joining their hands and forcing her to face him.
“I have been the worst kind of a man, losing my temper and refusing to listen to you. I know you are not what I said. But I am here now and I beg your forgiveness.” He laughed at himself. “Ellise, would you have me beg? For you know I would not do so lightly, but I would do it for you.”
“Cease, James.” His warm touch weakened her, made her voice husky and she wriggled her fingers but he kept his hold strong.
“Do I have your forgiveness?”
“James, you do not need it. My opinion is of little importance but aye, you have it. You are a man of a quick temper but you are honorable and I will always admire you for it.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Admiration?” he spluttered. “I do not want your admiration!”
She tried to tug her hands from his but he refused to let go. “Release me,” she whispered.
“Nay, I will not. Not until you answer me.”
“What answer do you seek?”
“Will you marry me or not?”
Moments passed and she hunted for the words to put an end to it all. The words that threatened to tear her heart from her chest. But she would not see James harmed. She would rather tear out her own heart than have that happen. He would forget her before long. Mayhap marry that southern lady.
“You do not want to marry me,” she declared quietly.
“I do. I will have you as mine, Ellise. You love me as I love you. If you are still angry with me, I will do all I can to make up—”
“Cease, James!” She finally found the strength to tear herself away and took several paces back.
Brow dipping into a scowl, his eyes widened briefly at her abrupt tone. “Ellise? If you are angry—”
“I am not angry. I know why you reacted as you did and I expected nothing less. Anything between us is impossible. You were right about me from the beginning. I am naught but a thief and a fallen woman. What we had was wonderful, but ‘twas just a few momen
ts of pleasure, naught more. If you are a sensible man you will forget me and find a chaste woman to be your wife.”
“You deny your feelings for me?”
She forced herself to laugh. “I deny naught. You are a handsome man, James, and I am grateful to have shared your bed.”
His expression darkened. “I had thought we shared more than that, Ellise.”
“Captain, you know well enough that I am not one to take life seriously. What we had was a…” she waved her hand dismissively, “distraction.”
Ellise saw his jaw work, heard his teeth grind. His expression grew pained and she longed to run away or close her eyes to his pain as it echoed the agony inside her. But she had to be sure he wouldn’t do something foolish like challenge Edmund. If he had the vaguest idea that she’d been coerced, he’d surely challenge him.
“I know not what has brought this on, but I do not believe your words. If this is brought about by your anger, then I will accept it as my due, but you will not set aside what happened between us so easily. I will not allow it.”
Chin up, she drew in a breath and clutched her hands together to prevent them from shaking. “You cannot command everyone. And you cannot command my feelings, Captain. I am sorry you thought I could offer you anything more…but I cannot.” She watched his face and risked a glance in his green eyes. Curses, her words still had no effect. The stubborn resolve to make her his remained. She had no choice. “I cannot marry you for...” she squeezed her hands tighter, “I am to marry the Earl.”
“Wighthurst,” he seethed. “You would marry that man? You barely know him. What is it? Is it his riches that entice you? You would sacrifice your happiness for a few more trinkets and fine gowns. You must know that he will never love you as I do.” He took a swift step forward and clutched her upper arms. “Never.”
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