She allowed herself a moment to squeeze her eyes shut, tears burning. “I am sorry. You do not know what it is like to scrape for a living, to have your choices made for you. Edmund can provide me with much.” My son. Her voice trembled and she only hoped it didn’t give her away.
James kept his grip tight around her as he searched her face. She met his study boldly and prayed he did not notice the shimmering in her eyes or hear the sickening thud of her heart. How easy it would be just to fall into his arms. But she knew Edmund and he would make good on his threats if he even considered there was something still between them. She’d been on the receiving end of his anger once before and she dare not inflict it upon James. She could not allow her vision to come true.
Fingers pinched into her arms, making her own fingers grow tingly and she thought he might kiss her. And Lord help her, she would kiss him back, in spite of the fact they were out in the open for anyone—including Edmund—to see. He dipped his head slowly, gaze locked onto hers. She may have whimpered, she wasn’t sure, but whatever she did, it stopped him in his tracks and he jerked upright. Releasing her, he took a step back.
“So this is your decision?”
“Aye,” she said softly.
His mouth stretched into a thin line. Those lips that one moment ago had looked so tempting now looked bitter. “Very well then. I wish you only the very best, my lady.”
With that he turned on his heel and marched down the inner stairs to the bailey. The pain in her body became so acute, she was almost forced double as she clutched her arms about herself and watched him go. He did not look back, did not even pause. That was it. It was over.
~***~
It took James all his self-restraint not to pound his fist into Wighthurst’s smug face as he and Dominic discussed the arrangements for Ellise. As she had no father and Dominic was her current overlord, it was up to him to ensure all was settled.
His knuckles grew painful as he fisted his hand and the marriage document was signed.
“I shall be sorry to see her go,” Dominic said as he glanced over the parchment and dropped his quill into the pot on his desk. “She has become quite the companion to my wife.” Dominic’s blue gaze flicked up to James. “And we have enjoyed her company.”
Wighthurst’s lips twitched. “Indeed. She is a fine woman. I’ve no doubt she will do me well for a wife.”
Dominic nodded and stood. “I’ll admit I did not expect such an alliance though.”
“You mean ‘tis unusual for a man of my standing to marry such a woman?”
James ground his teeth at the dismissive tone he used to describe her. But hadn’t he been as judgmental once?
“Well…” Dominic rolled the contact up and handed it to the Earl, “you must surely have many fathers offering you their daughter’s hands.”
“I have had offers enough, but I have need of a mother for my son and none have offered enough to entice. Ellise is…a special woman. I look forward to seeing what the future holds for us.”
Bile rose in James’ throat. He recognized the predatory look in Wighthurst’s eyes. The thought of another man’s hands—of Wighthurst’s hands—on her made him want to plough his fist through the wall beside him.
“Aye, well I wish you both well.” Dominic motioned to James for him to come to his side. “Do you intend to leave soon?” he asked the Earl.
“Aye. If you wouldn’t mind, Captain, I would like to send for my carriage. I am keen to return home. I will have a chaperone sent down with it for Lady Ellise. I aim to leave before the sennight is out.”
Three days. Three days and she’d be gone. His chest felt hollow. He took a missive from Edmund, which presumably had instructions for their marriage arrangements and handed it over to the messenger. He had to force his hand not to shake as he did so.
But this was her decision and he would respect it. No matter how much it would kill him to watch her leave.
~***~
James watched her. She kept her gaze firmly rooted on the carriage waiting at the bottom of the mound on which the keep sat but she knew he observed her from the castle ramparts. Should she look back? Her knees trembled as the throbbing in her chest amplified. A prickle dashed over her skin. A sensation that only James invoked. She just couldn’t acknowledge him as he stood on the walls, witnessing their departure.
If she looked at him, she would surely crumble. Ellise drew up her shoulders and disguised the shudder of revulsion Edmund’s hand tightening upon hers caused. Like a reminder of his ownership of her. But then he had always owned her. Even since Richard had died and he’d declared her dowry his as a fine for not marrying whoever her overlord chose.
Him.
She peered into the carriage window, breath held. An older woman in a tight wimple turned to observe their approach and Ellise allowed herself a small smile. Clarice had been kind to her upon her marriage to Richard at just five and ten and had promised to watch over Arias. Clarice spoke to someone inside the cart and she glanced at Edmund for confirmation.
He gave her the slightest nod. Arias was here. Her stomach flipped, the trembling in her knees grew. Would he know her? Would he look well? What would she do if he did not even want to acknowledge her as his mother? At only six years of age, she could hardly expect him to welcome her as his long lost mother.
Edmund released her to say farewell to Lord Dominic as Ellise put a hand to the carriage, having already bid Lucy farewell. Before she could step in, a child jumped out and she froze. Dark eyes, so like her own stared up at her. Though he had inherited his father’s pale complexion, his short brown hair was almost a match to hers. Tears welled in her eyes. So beautiful, so perfect. Crouching, she offered him her hands. Arias stepped forward cautiously.
“Mama?”
How did he know it was her? But she was beyond caring. Ellise pulled him into an embrace and inhaled his scent. Arias remained stiff in her arms but it was enough just to feel him, his little heart galloping against her chest. She drew back before she made him too uncomfortable.
“It is good to see you again, Arias.”
He darted a glance at Edmund. “Father does not call me that.”
Ellise managed to keep the anger from her face. “Of course. I forgot. How is it you remember me?”
“Clarice told me of you,” he whispered. “And Father keeps a likeness.”
She frowned as she came to her feet and ushered Arias in. Richard had commissioned a portrait of her but she never expected Edmund to keep it. She stole a look over her shoulder and saw Lucy’s the puzzled look she threw her way. Before anyone could question her behavior, she helped Arias into the carriage and sat, refusing to glance back.
Enclosed in the red velvet interior, Ellise released a breath and reached for Clarise as Arias settled beside her. “I thank you for not letting him forget me. I owe you a great deal.”
The old woman smiled and put an arm around Arias. “Every boy should know his mother.”
“You are coming to live with us now, Mama?” Arias asked.
“Aye, I am. We’ll not be parted again, my love.” She pressed her hands into her lap. He still regarded her warily, but it was to be expected. He did not yet know her. But she would change that with time and patience. If only she hadn’t had to sacrifice one very good man for such a chance.
Still, at least she had Arias. Whatever Edmund inflicted upon her would be irrelevant. James was safe and she was with Arias. All was as it should be. She only hoped her memories of James would not plague her as they did now.
The carriage rocked as Edmund clambered in and sat himself beside her. He took her hand and gripped it tightly. “Now let us away from this Godforsaken place. A priest awaits us and I am eager to secure our marriage. See, boy? I have brought you a mother. Are you not happy?”
“Yes, sir. Most happy.”
“Good.”
Ellise flinched as the carriage jolted and they started their journey. Her stomach curdled. Had she made the right choi
ce? Those fingers pressed harder, possessively. She studied Arias’ face, her pulse slowing at the sight of his smooth cheeks and wide eyes. It only confirmed what she’d long known. What other choice did a mother have? She would do anything for her son. Including giving herself to the man she hated most. Just as she would do anything for the man she truly loved.
Chapter Eleven
James dug his nails into the stone until his fingers hurt. Why was he torturing himself like this? But that sense of misgiving was upon him, the one that had lingered ever since Wighthurst had arrived at Thornewall. It was more acute now. Had he relinquished her too easily? And there was that moment with the boy…even from where he was stood, he saw the emotion with which she greeted him.
The pounding of horses signaled their departure and a deep-seated sickness ate through him. Was he really going to watch her go? He’d always been taught to fight in life, so why hadn’t he fought for Ellise? Everything he’d known had become so confused since she entered his life. Right from wrong, good and bad. He no longer trusted his instincts. But he loved Ellise. He trusted that. She pulled him from his brooding tendencies with her merry disposition. She had taught him so much.
His feet twitched as the need to run after her hit. But this was what she wanted. Riches, lands. Love? Nay, Wighthurst would never love her as he did. And though James was wealthy enough, he could never give her as much as the Earl. Ellise deserved so much and now she would have it all.
Shoulders straight, he turned back to the castle and glanced around at the watchmen. Funny how his job no longer held the same appeal. Whilst it still brought him pride to be the captain, something was missing. A gaping, agonizing hole opened up in his chest. With a sigh, he realized only Ellise could fill it.
And the only way to conquer it was to do what he had always done. Work. Hand to his sword to steady it, he marched across the top of the ramparts and down the inner staircase into the courtyard.
Dominic and Jake stopped in front of him, blocking his way as he reached the bottom step. He stared at the two dark-haired lords, both so dissimilar but both as determined as each other. They stood with their arms across their chests, brows furrowed. What was this about? “Is all well, my lords?”
“I fear not,” Jake said cryptically.
“My lord?”
Dominic shook his head. “James, you’re a fool.”
James straightened. “Pardon?”
“Lord knows, I’ve been a fool enough times but at least I never let Lucy go.” A flicker of pain flew across Jake’s face and Dominic cursed. “Forgive me, Brother.”
“Nay, you are right.” Jake patted his brother’s shoulder. “I let Isabel go once and have regretted those wasted months myself.”
Bewildered, James flicked his gaze between both brothers. What was this? None had ever lectured him on his actions before. In fact, there had never been need to. He always did everything right. Until Ellise. How was it a beautiful woman could cause a man to make so many mistakes? But letting her go, nay, that had been no mistake. That was what she wanted.
“Ellise wanted to go. She said as much. So I let her.”
With a laugh, Dominic grinned. “And have you not yet learned that women are secretive creatures?” He glanced over his shoulder at his wife, who stood with Lady Isabel, both with concerned expressions, and motioned to her. The women scurried over and Jake hooked an arm around Isabel as Dominic nodded for Lucy to speak.
“James, I do not believe Ellise wanted to go with the Earl. I think... I think he has her son.”
James gaped at the four people surrounding him. Her son? “Nay. She does not have a son. She did once, but...” His jaw dropped slightly. “Hellfire.”
“I heard that boy call her Mama,” Lucy said softly. “I believe Ellise is the widow of the late Earl and a victim of Wighthurst’s scheming. Surely you even saw the child looked like Ellise from where you were? And how she greeted him?”
Hand curled around his sword, he tightened his grip on the pommel. Her son? He had assumed the son she spoke of had died, mayhap during birth, but what if he had been taken from her? None knew who the mother of Wighthurst’s son was. What if it was Ellise? But did this mean Ellise and Wighthurst had borne him or was the child that of her late-husband's? And why had she never said anything?
Jake, the eldest of them all, stepped forward and pressed a hand to his shoulder. “The Earl drove out his brother’s wife upon his death so he could have her lands. It was never said why or what occurred, only that he stole her wealth and she was never heard from again.”
“Damnation, surely she must have known I'd help her?”
“If he threatened her son...” Lucy murmured.
James nodded. If he’d threatened her son, Ellise would have done anything to see him safe, including living as a pauper. And stealing. And what if he knew of her gift? Aye, he believed it to be a gift now, but the Earl could easily threaten to reveal her as a witch. Curses, he was a fool. All those whispered words and the odd moments between Wighthurst and Ellise had been him threatening her or her lad. Whilst he was meant to be protecting everyone within the walls of Thornewall, Ellise had been at the mercy of a man who thought nothing of using a child as leverage. And it explained her flashes of melancholy, especially after the twins were born. No wonder she had been so upset. If only he had pushed her for answers. If only he had not judged her so quickly.
Head snapping up, he gave a brisk nod. “We must get her back. Her and her son. None will threaten them ever again.”
Relieved smiles and exhaled breaths greeted him and Jake took a step back. “Aye, we shall aid you. The Earl may be powerful but he would dare not go against the three of us. We hold more land between us than he will ever hope to get.”
“Aye.” James squeezed his hand tightly. “Aye,” he repeated with a grin. With the two lords on his side, he looked forward to ensuring the Earl never abused his power again. And more than that, he looked forward to having Ellise back in his arms. Now they just had to chase her down. “Come then.” He started toward the stables. “Let us ride.”
~***~
Ellise clutched her stomach as they rode over the bumpy roads. She peered out of the open window and sucked in some fresh air but it did little to calm her belly. It had been a long time since she’d last been in a carriage and the jostling made her nauseous. Combined with Edmund’s possessive touch, she feared she would not hold onto the contents of her stomach for long. His hand had snaked over early on in the journey, his fingers cold around hers. In all likelihood, they would marry as soon as they reached Wighthurst. She gulped down the bile rising in her throat and glanced over at Arias. He had fallen asleep in Clarice’s lap. She longed to be the one he rested on but she could not let Edmund see just how weak she was around her son and she didn't want Clarice to get into trouble for ensuring her son never forgot her. Who knew how much Edmund knew of the maid’s kindness toward her? Besides which, Arias might not take to her motherly behavior. Though he knew of her and accepted her as his mother, she could not expect him to instantly accept her affection.
The carriage lurched suddenly and swerved slightly. Ellise tensed and clutched at the side of the conveyance.
“What in the devil—” Edmund exclaimed.
Ellise felt the blood drain from her face. Was it reivers? The Earl made a tempting target and she’d heard enough tales of their brutality in Thornewall. Clarice darted a wary glance over at her as Edmund poked his head out of the window. They were well-guarded, with several men-at-arms escorting them but the reivers were brutal. She listened for the sound of battle cries, but only the pounding of hooves echoed the thump in her chest.
She glanced over at the still-sleeping Arias and rose in her seat to peer out of the open window. Edmund yanked her down onto the bench.
“Do not be foolish,” he snarled. “Stay inside.”
“My ladies.”
Eyes wide, Ellise swiveled to see James pop his head through the window on Edmund’s side as
he clutched to the outside of the wagon.
“James!”
“God’s bones,” Edmund declared as he fought to free his sword.
In the close confines of the carriage, it would do him no good, but it still sent a stab of fear through her. She jumped up again and tugged on his arm but he backhanded her. Through the haze of pain, she saw James’ face contort with anger. Reaching in, he smashed his fist across Edmund’s face. The Earl fell back, knocked senseless by the bone-shattering blow.
Ellise gaped as James eyed him with satisfaction and the carriage gradually came to a stop. They lurched to a halt and Arias stirred, blinking and frowning as he spied Edmund and the man hanging onto the carriage.
“James, what are you—” Before she could continue, he jumped out of view and yanked open the door. Gathering her skirts and giving Clarice a reassuring smile, she stepped out of the carriage to see Lord Dominic and Lord Jacob on their mounts and Edmund’s men-at-arms, keeping their distance.
She resisted the urge to laugh. It did not surprise her they surrendered. With these men threatening attack, she’d do the same.
“James, what is the meaning of this?”
He put a hand to the back of his neck and rubbed at it. “I am not letting you go, Ellise. I know you have no wish to marry Wighthurst.”
She threw a glance at the carriage and swallowed heavily. “I-I do.”
“Nay, you do not. I know all, Ellise. ‘Twas my fault for not listening, not understanding. ‘Twas my fault for not fighting.” He took a step forward so that he bore down upon her. “I spent my whole life being taught to fight, yet I did not fight for the most important thing. You. I would fight for you. I will fight for you. And I’ll not let you go again.”
The breath trapped in her throat as she took in his husky words and his solemn expression. How she longed to fall into his arms. She wavered forward as if her body intended to do so without her permission and he took the opportunity to brush his knuckles over her cheek. The warmth of his touch set her senses on fire and made her shudder.
The Borderland Legacy Page 45