The Faceless Ones

by Derek Landy

  “I don’t like your tone.”

  “I don’t like your shoes.”

  Beryl looked down, wondering what was wrong with her shoes, and Tanith moved in and around her. Before Beryl realized what was happening, Tanith was walking into the kitchen.

  “Bloody hell …” came Fergus’s whisper.

  “Stephanie,” Tanith said, “could I have a word?”

  Beryl stormed in after her, outraged, as Stephanie stood up from the table. The twins were looking at the young lady curiously, and Fergus was staring at her, his eyes wide and full of wonder.

  “Stephanie, you are not leaving this room!”

  “This is a private matter,” Tanith said.

  “And this is private property! Fergus, call the police!”

  Fergus just kept staring at the intruder.

  “If this has anything to do with what happened earlier today,” Beryl said, “the police will certainly want to talk to you!”

  Tanith frowned. “What happened earlier today?”

  Stephanie opened her mouth to speak, but Beryl took control of the conversation. “Three hours ago, Alan Brennan came to my door and told me he had been attacked by a man who had been chasing Stephanie. Attacked! In Haggard!”

  “Who was the man?”

  “I don’t know,” Stephanie said. “I don’t remember much of it. I think I must still be in shock. He probably thought I was somebody else. After he attacked Mr. Brennan, he went away, and I returned home.”

  “We found her hiding under the bed,” Beryl said, and Carol and Crystal snorted.

  “Have you seen Val?” Tanith asked Stephanie, ignoring Beryl completely. “Do you know what happened to her?”

  “She was supposed to come back.” Stephanie shrugged. “But she never did.”

  “Who is this Val?” Beryl asked, confused. “What has she got to do with anything? There is a dangerous lunatic on the loose, claiming to be a policeman! ”

  Tanith’s eyes narrowed. “He said he was a cop?”

  “Mr. Brennan said he told him he was a detective.”

  “Crux …”

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “I know this man.” Tanith nodded. “And you’re right, he is a lunatic. Have you called the police?”

  Fergus spoke up at last. “They, uh, they said they’d stop by this afternoon….”

  “Tell them not to bother. This man has a history of psychiatric problems. He just forgot to take his pills this morning, that’s all. I’m his doctor.”

  “What kind of doctor dresses in brown leather?” Beryl asked suspiciously.

  The young lady flashed her a quick smile. “The kind who looks good in it,” she said. “Thank you for your time. You all have a good day now. Good-bye, Stephanie.”

  “Good-bye,” Stephanie said, and sat down to finish off her lunch.

  Beryl followed Tanith to the front door, her mind overloading with questions, but Tanith just kept walking and didn’t look back. She got to the road, and a dreadful purple car pulled up and she got in. Beryl tried to catch a better look at the driver, but all she could see was a man in a hat, and then they were gone.

  Beryl frowned. The man in the hat seemed awfully familiar….

  Thirty-one

  OLD FRIENDS

  cRUX BURST into her apartment, and China turned, appraising him coolly. “We have the girl,” Crux said triumphantly. “I tracked her down and arrested her. Put her in the cell myself.”

  “She’s fourteen,” China said. “That was very brave of you.”

  “You can save your snide comments. The Diablerie have the Grand Mage.”

  “It’s the talk of the town, but apparently, you’d still prefer to go after Skulduggery than the real enemy.”

  “He is the real enemy. I figured it out, and it’s all so obvious. It fits.”

  “What fits, Remus?”

  He stood with his hands on his hips. “Skulduggery Pleasant is Batu.”

  “Oh, my God….” China stared at him. “You are actually thicker than you look.”

  Crux stepped in close. “Where is he? Where are they keeping the Grand Mage?”

  “I tried to help you, Remus. I told you where Skulduggery was making his headquarters, and you went in, you stormed the place, and what happened? You missed Skulduggery, you missed Valkyrie, and you got the Grand Mage kidnapped. I’ve done what I can—it’s not my fault you’re not very good at your job.”

  “I’m good enough, China. I was good enough to figure out your dark little secret, wasn’t I?”

  “You didn’t work anything out. A dying man told you because you were the only one around at the time.”

  “Where is the skeleton?

  “I don’t know.”

  “Then where will he be?”

  “Oh, now that one I do know. Once he learns that you’ve arrested Valkyrie, you’re not going to have to look for him. He’ll come to you.”

  “I’m not scared of Skulduggery Pleasant.”

  “Yes, you are, Remus. Everyone is.”

  “You have failed to cooperate with a Sanctuary investigation, and furthermore, you are an obstruction to said investigation. I’m placing you under arrest.”

  Crux produced the handcuffs with a flourish. China sighed and allowed her hands to be shackled behind her back.

  “Once again, you’re concentrating on the wrong people. First it was Skulduggery and now it’s me, when the people you should be after are the Diablerie. Why are you doing this, Remus? Are you afraid of challenging them? Is that why you’re going after everybody but them?”

  “You will lead me to the enemy. You’re working with Pleasant—”

  “If Skulduggery was Batu, then he wouldn’t have brought in Fletcher Renn in the first place, would he? He’d have locked him up until he needed him.”

  “Your attempts at logic are as pathetic at your attempts at seduction.”

  China laughed. “You have my word, Remus: I have never tried to seduce you.”

  His face reddened. “You’ve made a huge mistake in underestimating me, China. You chose to believe that I am not a man of my word. I told you what would happen. I made it quite clear. But you haven’t helped me, and so I must go public with your secret.”

  “I don’t know where he is,” she insisted.

  “It’s too late.” Crux took her by the arm and escorted her to the door.

  “Remus, listen to me. No matter what you think you know of what happened, no matter what you were told, it isn’t the whole story.”

  “You can tell your friend that when he finds you,” Crux replied. “I’m sure he’ll be in the mood to listen.”

  “You don’t know what this could do,” she snarled.

  He smiled back at her. “I have an idea.”

  Crux opened the door, and there was a man standing outside.

  “Hello, China,” Jaron Gallow said.

  He walked in, and Crux quickly backed into the apartment, taking China with him. She wrenched her arm from his grasp.

  “You’re part of it,” Crux said to her, as Gallow gently closed the door. “You’re all part of it. You’re all working together.”

  “You’re absolutely right, Detective,” Gallow said, a small smile on his lips. “Everyone is in on it. It’s a conspiracy the likes of which you have never seen. China, Skulduggery Pleasant, even the Grand Mage. We were going to invite you to join us at Aranmore Farm for the final act, but we took a vote and nobody wanted to ride with you. Please don’t take it personally.”

  Crux snapped his hand against the air, but Gallow moved out of the way, hooked his foot under the coffee table, and sent it into Crux’s chest. Crux staggered and went for his gun, but Gallow twisted it from his hand.

  “Not much of a fighter, are you?” Gallow asked, and threw the detective across the room.

  Crux tumbled and spun. He was panicking. Gallow was blocking his escape route. Crux must have known he didn’t stand a chance against Gallow, because he turned and ran for the w
indow. He leaped, crashing through the glass and falling from sight.

  Gallow strolled over, eyebrow arched in quiet amazement. He leaned on the sill, looking out, and smiled.

  “He’s alive,” he said. “He’s not crawling away particularly fast, but he’s alive. It looks like his leg is broken. Possibly an arm. Can you hear him screaming? Unusually high-pitched.”

  “Why are you here, Jaron?” China asked.

  He turned to her. “We can’t be stopped—I hope you realize that. In an hour we’ll have Fletcher Renn, and then we’ll be at the farm, and the gate will open, and we’ll win. Just like we were always meant to.”

  “You’re inviting back an angry race of gods who hate us. I hope you realize that.”

  “Have faith, China. Maybe they will rule, maybe they will scorch, maybe they will obliterate, or maybe they will just simply be. It is not our place to question them. A long time ago you told me that. You told me this world belongs to them. We’ve overseen it for millennia, and now it’s time to give it back. You taught me well.”

  “You were an excellent student,” she admitted. “But if you’re trying to get me to return to the fold, I’m going to have to disappoint you.”

  “Is that what you told Baron Vengeous when he asked you?”

  “Something along those lines, yes.”

  “But he was alone, and unaware that Batu was orchestrating everything. Things are different now. This is a chance for you to come back to the Diablerie. Batu is a good leader. He has his plan. But he’s not you. He could never be you.”

  “You want me to take over, just when Batu’s plan is coming to fruition?” She smiled. “Why, Jaron, how delightfully treacherous of you.”

  “The Diablerie is yours, China; it always has been. Your family has been devoted to the Dark Gods for a thousand years. It’s in your veins. It’s in your blood. It’s in your heart. This isn’t something you can just shake off.”

  “My brother managed it.”

  “Mr. Bliss is … unique.”

  “And Batu?”

  “Will die by your command.”

  China strolled to the middle of the room, thinking about it. Finally, she stopped and looked at him. “The offer is, admittedly, somewhat tempting, but the fact of the matter is inescapable: I am a traitor to a race of sadistic gods who loathe humanity. Why would I want them to return?”

  Gallow sighed. “That is unfortunate. I really didn’t want to have to kill you.”

  “And I really didn’t want to have to be killed. I don’t suppose you’ve developed a sense of fair play since last we met?”

  “You mean, would I free you from those handcuffs? I’m afraid not.” He picked Crux’s gun up off the floor. “I’ll make it quick, though. I promise.”

  China stamped her foot. “How gracious of you.” She took a step back and stamped her foot again.

  He frowned. “No one’s going to hear that,

  China.”

  She moved again, stamping her foot a third time. Gallow looked down at the carpet, and his eyes narrowed when he recognized the three symbols she had just stamped on. She stepped out of her gorgeous shoes and stood in the middle of the triangle. She smiled as the floor gave way beneath her.

  China dropped through the trapdoor, landing awkwardly in the second-floor corridor. The ceiling closed up above her just as Gallow was about to follow her down. She rolled to her knees and got up and ran for the stairs.

  There’d be someone out front waiting for Gallow to emerge. It would either be someone in a car—Gruesome Krav or Murder Rose—or someone capable of their own kind of travel, like Sanguine. She didn’t want to find out which.

  She got to the first floor. Gallow’s footsteps were heavy on the stairs above her. She ran the length of the corridor, the floor sticky beneath her bare feet. She had built a lot of escape routes into this building, and she ran for the nearest one.

  Once again, events beyond her control had dragged her into the middle of things. China was not impressed.

  Thirty-two

  THE TRADE

  THE LIFFEY BRIDGE is a bridge with three names.

  It is a pedestrian bridge a little over 130 feet long, spanning the river Liffey from Ormond Quay to Aston Quay. Steps on either side lead up onto the walkway, and there are three lamps—one at the center and two on either side—supported overhead by ironwork that curves out from the railings.

  Its given name is the Wellington Bridge, its true name the Liffey Bridge, but it is by its taken name that it is most commonly known.

  As a young girl, Tanith had been brought over to Dublin by her parents. The first time she crossed this bridge, her parents told her that the bridge used to have turnstiles, and the cost of traveling was one penny and one halfpenny. The turnstiles were done away with a few years later, around 1919 or so, but by then everyone knew the bridge as the Penny Ha’penny Bridge, which was eventually shortened to, simply, the Ha’Penny Bridge.

  And it was at the Ha’penny Bridge, the bridge with three names, that they were expected to hand Fletcher Renn over to the enemy, giving them exactly what they needed to end the world.

  “This is a really bad idea,” Tanith said.

  “I agree completely,” Fletcher Renn murmured from beside her.

  They had cordoned off the bridge on both sides, putting up signs that alerted passersby to delicate maintenance work. There was a red-and-white-striped tent at either end to shield workers from wind and rain. There wasn’t much of a wind today, and while the dark clouds rolled threateningly, no rain had yet fallen.

  Tanith and Fletcher stood in the tent on the north side of the Liffey. There was a rush of sound as Ghastly joined them, and then the flap fell again and muted the noise from the traffic at their backs.

  “No one sneaking up behind us,” Ghastly informed them. He shook his head as he pulled down the well-tailored hood of his coat, revealing his scars.

  They looked to the middle of the bridge, where Skulduggery was taking a cloaking sphere from his coat. He twisted the hemispheres in opposite directions, and a bubble of haze erupted outward, enveloping him and the bridge. He put the sphere down at his feet.

  “What was that?” Fletcher asked, stunned.

  “It makes us invisible to everyone outside the bubble,” Ghastly said. “They won’t be able to see or hear anything that goes on.”

  “So if I die screaming in agony, I won’t disturb anyone? Oh, that’s comforting.”

  Skulduggery walked back into the tent.

  “Any word from Valkyrie?” Ghastly asked.

  “Still none,” Skulduggery said darkly. “When we have Guild, we’ll make him release her, and then let me in a room alone with Crux for five long and painful minutes. Until then, we concentrate on the job.”

  “So what’s the plan?” Fletcher asked. “How does this trade thing work?”

  “In theory,” Ghastly said, “the two of you will start walking across the bridge at the same time, passing in the middle and walking on to the opposite side. In practice, however, that’s not how it’s going to work at all.”

  “Here’s how it really works,” Tanith told him. “Both sides start out playing fair. Then one side double-crosses the other. Then the other side springs their double-cross. Then the first side reacts accordingly.”

  Fletcher nodded. “So it’s all about how many double-crosses you have?”

  “Exactly, and the side with the most double-crosses wins.”

  “How many double-crosses do we have?”

  Ghastly looked at Skulduggery.

  “Two,” Skulduggery said.

  “That’s … that’s not an awful lot.”

  “Sometimes simplicity is best.”

  “Is this one of those times?”

  “Probably not,” Ghastly admitted.

  “We’re restricted in what we can do,” Tanith said. “This is a public place, in broad daylight. We can’t have a hundred Cleavers ready to spring into action.”

  “Do you have a
hundred Cleavers?”

  “Well, no.”

  “This is an unofficial operation,” Skulduggery said. “There is a spy in the Sanctuary, and until we find out who it is, we can’t trust any of them.”

  “But if we are restricted in what we can do,” Ghastly said, “then so are they.”

  “Right,” Fletcher said. “All right. Okay. And they value this whole ‘never in public’ rule as much as you do, yeah?”

  Ghastly hesitated. “Sure,” he said, completely failing to sound convincing.

  “They’re here,” said Tanith quietly.

  They all peeked out. At the other end of the bridge a black van had pulled onto the side of the road, eliciting angry horn blaring from the cars in the lane behind. Gruesome Krav stepped out, and suddenly the blaring stopped. The cars behind flashed their turn signals politely and pulled into the other lane.

  Murder Rose got out next, followed by Sanguine and then Gallow, pulling Thurid Guild with him. Guild’s hands were handcuffed and his face was bruised. The sordid little group was attracting a lot of attention, but they quickly disappeared into the striped tent.

  “What are our double-crosses?” Fletcher asked.

  “If you’re expecting them,” Skulduggery said, “you’ll give them away.”

  Fletcher was growing paler by the second. “I’m really not sure about this.”

  “They don’t want to hurt you,” said Tanith.

  “No, they just want to use me to destroy the world, and seeing as how I’m in the world, that would still be a bad thing for me. I know you all think that I’m really confident and nothing can faze me—”

  “None of us think that,” Ghastly said.

  “My point is, I’m not going to walk over there and risk being caught. And I’m not even sure why you’d want me to.”

  “Mr. Bliss wants Guild back,” Skulduggery said, “and his argument is valid. Guild’s death could have catastrophic consequences.”

  “Could have,” Fletcher pointed out. “But if they get me to bring back the Faceless Ones, that will have catastrophic consequences! The first one’s a possibility, the second is a certainty! Why am I the only one to be logical about this?”