Flame

by J. P. Scott

  Was it something else? Were there drugs involved?

  But why would he say that he might drive back and forth between Payson and here if he was planning on getting wasted this weekend? That did not make any sense. Unless he was trying to placate me for some reason? I did not buy it.

  Cody broke my train of thought, “Is there somewhere I can store these bags? Or should I take them with me?”

  “No, you can keep them here. There’s room in the back office to put them where they will be out of the way.” I turned to unlock the office door. “Follow me.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “How are the repairs going?” Nancy had picked up on the second ring when I called and instantly put on her realtor voice of positivity.

  “Good! Jonathan has been hard at work.”

  “I’m glad to hear things are working out. It makes me glad. I know Jonathan needed a big project to keep him busy. I really appreciate you hiring him.”

  “He’s been doing a good job.” I had called Nancy Carter after the conversation with Cody. She had been the one who recommended him to me, and I was wondering if she knew more about him.

  “What can I do for you?”

  She must have known that I was not calling for pleasantries. “I was talking with someone I know in the area. The topic of Jonathan came up, and I started wondering if there was anything that I should know about him.”

  “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”

  Nancy was not going to reveal anything until I showed my hand. “Well, he took off this weekend for Payson. He hasn’t been back. Should I be concerned?”

  “Was he supposed to be working this weekend?”

  “Well, no. He has the weekend off. He’s actually ahead of schedule with his projects.”

  I did not say anything in response. I waited, but Nancy did not fill the silence with any other response. Should I ask about any concerns that Jonathan was drinking this weekend? I only knew that he was gone and that he had some sort of appointment. Did I know that he was out binge drinking? Or getting into worse problems? No, I did not.

  “Is there anything I need to know about Jonathan that you did not tell me before?”

  “I’ve told you everything you should know. Jonathan is a good worker, and I know he will do a good job with the tasks you’re facing. If I thought he would not perform, I would not have recommended him. It’s my professional reputation that is on the line if he doesn’t.”

  She was right. If she had any reservations about him, if she thought he would disappear or succumb to temptations that would distract him from doing his work, then it did no good for her to recommend him to me for such a big job. She knew it was important to me that I get the place ready for sale. She knew it was important to George.

  “Thank you. Since I’m not from around here, it is hard sometimes to sift through what people are saying. I heard some things and wanted to make sure there was not something I’m missing.”

  “He’s a good man, Josh. I’m sure you see that.”

  “I do. I’m sure you understand that I need to do my due diligence.”

  “Absolutely.” Nancy shifted gears in the conversation, “I’ll send you some dates for the full inspection this week. Let me know what works for you.”

  “Thank you, Nancy.”

  We hung up and I sat at the desk, staring at the ceiling. She had answered my questions, but she had been guarded as well. Something told me that there was more to the story. Did it matter? Probably not. He seemed to be a stand-up guy. He was working hard and getting through the project at a quick pace. I could not ask for more.

  I stood up and walked to the back door, stepping out to the back porch. I leaned against a support post and looked up to the cabin up the hill. Jonathan still had not shown up. Whatever was happening in Payson was definitely taking up a great deal of his time.

  He had every right to do whatever he needed to do in Payson on his own time. I should let him live his life, especially since there was nothing that created a red flag. I had been watching from the beginning to see if there were any signs that Jonathan was not performing. I quickly saw he was working hard and had left him alone. Left him alone until that night.

  I had to think about the experience I had with Jonathan. He had been calm and collected—very in control. Was that the demeanor of someone who was abusing alcohol or any other substances? Definitely not.

  I needed to give Jonathan a chance. Every person deserved that. I was far from a perfect person. I had tried to come between Cody and Alex with a meaningless night of sex. Just because of one bad decision, I did not want to be judged for the rest of my life. It felt good to be able to talk to Cody like normal people. If I got that right, should Jonathan not experience the same?

  I smiled. The thought of Jonathan brought up images of the riding crop and the dildo. If only he were here to repeat the experience we had. That was the Jonathan that I knew. Dominant, in control. Any thought of him being anything less was a thought I should not entertain.

  Maybe that was the real reason I was worried about Jonathan. I wanted him back so that we could have sex. I could show him that I was ready to give him what he needed.

  Chapter Fifteen

  For the rest of the weekend, I found myself constantly looking up the hill to see if Jonathan was back. I desperately wanted to see him, but the worry built up inside was growing stronger. Was he in trouble somehow? If so, what kind of trouble? That was hard to tell.

  He was new in town, but he had prior connections. It was sometimes easy to fall prey to familiarity and forget if a person or place had been a negative influence in life. We easily forgot why we put people and things in the past. Giving someone a second chance was a common thing—but did it ever result in any change or difference?

  I knew that when I moved back to New York, Ethan would be there. No doubt, I would see him at a friend’s party or out at a bar somewhere. A hello and small chit chat could easily turn into the opportunity to reconnect. We knew each other so well, and that was so much easier to deal with than starting from scratch with a stranger. When that happened, would I remember the toxicity of our relationship and just keep it at friends? Or would I believe that we were fated to be together and try to make a romantic relationship work?

  What connections did Jonathan have here? Was there an old boyfriend or regular fuck buddy that he was meeting up with? Had he hoped to rekindle a love that he left?

  I laughed at myself. Was I jealous? That was not usually how my mind and heart worked.

  Or was there something else that was occupying Jonathan’s time? One of the hardest things to combat around here was boredom. When the sun set, darkness closed in. It was as darkness like I had not experienced anywhere else that I had lived. Outdoor lights were few and far between. The trees were tall and blocked out light from the stars and moon. It was hard to see a great distance if you were out for a walk. Even the path from the cabins to the restaurant were navigated only seeing a few yards ahead. With the darkness surrounding your house, there was intense boredom. To fill that void, many people turned to alcohol, or worse, drugs.

  Jonathan seemed pretty together and I doubted he was involved in anything serious. However, did I know him well enough to really pick up on the signs? Maybe he was still at the point that he could function and not let an addiction get in the way of his work. I would have to keep my eyes and ears open for signs, but that did not seem like a real possibility.

  Now that it was late on Sunday, I found myself idle and unable to fathom staying in the cabin and watching a movie or reading a book. I had watched everything in George’s DVD library and pretty much everything that looked interesting in online streaming services. Even if I did watch something, it would be me and a cocktail, alone. The restaurant was all that there was unless I wanted to drive twenty minutes either way on the highway. Elk came out at night and driving could be treacherous. Having a few drinks and driving did not seem like a good idea. I was hoping there would be som
ething happening at the restaurant, even if it was just some locals being rowdy and playing pool. It would be entertaining and a distraction. There would still be cocktails, but it seemed better to drink in public than hidden away.

  The only person in the dining area was Cody, who was working on sweeping out one of the booths.

  “You guys still open?”

  He looked at his watch. “I can check in the kitchen to see if the cooks are still able to put something together. I know they were going to be doing some cleaning and prep work since we are a little slow tonight.”

  “I guess no one wants to go out on a Sunday.”

  Cody laughed, “It’s hit or miss. And sometimes the crowd comes late, after a day out four wheeling or fishing on the lake. If the mood strikes for a beer and some chicken strips versus cooking for oneself, we are the best thing in the area.”

  I tried my hand at a joke, hoping Cody would be in a friendly mood with me tonight, “It’s the only place I recommend to my guests. Best service in town.”

  I took a seat at the bar and Cody started making me a drink. I was sticking with what I assumed had become my regular drink and did not decide to change things up. “I’ll just stick to the appetizers if that’s better for the kitchen. No need to put together anything complicated.”

  Cody thought through the options, squinting one eye and looking up with the other as if he was trying to see a mental picture of the menu. “Let’s see, nachos, jalapeno poppers, onion rings…mozzarella sticks…and the ever-popular basket of fries.”

  “Not exactly health conscious.”

  “Well, health does not exactly sell well around here. If it’s fried, we serve it and sell a lot of it.”

  Culinary options were definitely different than what I was used to back home. Chefs made menus based on farm to table fresh foods, were inspired by a myriad of cultures and traditions around them, and had eager customers willing to pay top dollar to try the next, new thing. From what I had seen since coming to the area, the locals preferred the familiar and the fried. I doubted there were too many other options even available.

  “Let’s do nachos. I was hoping to hang out a bit and that should keep me nibbling for a while.”

  Cody disappeared into the kitchen and I could hear him talking with a cook in the back. When he reappeared, he asked, “Chicken or beef?”

  “Uh, beef.”

  “Good. Gambled and guessed correctly.” He reached into one of the coolers and pulled out a bottle of beer, popped the top, and then walked around the bar and sat in the seat next time. “Mind if I hang out with you for a bit?”

  I looked at him with eyebrows raised. “I’d be honored. But can you drink when you are on the clock? And I thought hanging out with me would be the last thing you would want to do.”

  “True. A few weeks ago, I wanted nothing more than to punch you in the face whenever I saw you. A lot of that anger has subsided. From what I have seen in watching you, you’re a fairly decent guy overall.” He drank a long sip of beer.

  “Watching me, huh? Is that what did it?”

  He blushed and smiled, “Well, that definitely made me see you in a different light. Did that make me want to hang out with you? It probably gave me some reservations. I’m not sure Alex would be too thrilled to know that I had seen you naked with one of his toys jammed in your ass.”

  A couple weeks has allowed Cody to get over what Ethan and I had done. Had Alex come to the same conclusion? Or was he still hanging on to hurt and anger?

  Cody reached into his pocket and looked at his phone. He relocked the screen, frowned, and put the phone face down on the bar. “It’s been one of those days. Having a few beers is just what I need. I’m sure Jim and Molly would not mind.”

  Jim and Molly were the owners. Molly had given birth to twins. In anticipation of the two of them needing to be more focused on home life, they had hired additional staff to cover for them. Cody had stepped in and was determined to prove that he could handle the responsibility while he saved up to go back to school.

  “One of those days, huh? Anything I can help with?”

  I heard his phone buzz on the bar, but Cody ignored it.

  Cody chuckled, shook his head, and drank more beer. “Just being a drinking buddy is all I need right now.”

  I held up my glass, “Well, cheers to that.”

  We sat for a while, each enjoying our drinks. I did not know much else to say. I realized I did not know Cody very well. I knew where he worked, who he was dating, had seen his mom, and then there were the rumors about his past that had fueled Ethan’s plan to sleep with Cody and Alex. What could and should I talk about with him? Or was just sitting and being together what we needed most?

  His phone continued to buzz. It seemed to be a mixture of text message and phone calls. Cody was ignoring them all.

  “Let me check on your nachos.”

  The phone buzzed again and I reached over to flip the phone to look at the screen. Alex was calling. I set the phone back down. Why was Cody ignoring Alex? Was he not talking to him because I was there? Seemed like if he took the call back in the kitchen or stepped outside, they could talk in private. Or why not text and tell him when it would be a good time to chat?

  Cody reappeared with the nachos and set them down in front of me. He retrieved rolled up silverware and a bottle of hot sauce that was made in the area. “Can I get you anything else?”

  I indicated my drink and he quickly made another vodka soda. He got another beer for himself and sat back down, still ignoring the phone that continued to buzz.

  “Seems important,” I said.

  “Well, he certainly thinks so. I, however, am not in the mood to hear about yet another delay in his return.”

  That was my opening to make and “educated guess” while covering my tracks that I had seen his caller ID. “Ah, Alex. You’re fighting, I take it.”

  “Well, it’s probably not wise to get you involved…but here goes. The writer’s conference where he was going to speak led to other opportunities to speak and lecture. Then his publisher sent him a list of places they wanted him to go to promote his book. Every time I have talked to him there’s something else that has come up that has prevented him from coming back. When he has been back in Phoenix, he’s wanted me to drive down there to see him. I would, but Jim and Molly need me here. The twins have needed more attention than they planned and Jim is spending less time here. I just can’t get away.”

  The floodgates had opened and Cody was dumping everything that was weighing on him on the first person that would listen. If that person was me, so be it. He had to get it out of his system, regardless of who heard it.

  “Then there’s my parents. My mom is working so hard and my dad just goes off the rails, ignoring his duties at home, creating more problems for her to have to deal with. I hate it. And I’m the only one of my brothers that seems to give a crap.”

  The phone stopped buzzing. Alex seemed to be getting the message that Cody was unwilling to engage.

  “That sucks. Does Alex know all that you have been dealing with?”

  “I’ve told him, but I don’t think he totally gets it.”

  What advice could I give him? The longest relationship I ever had was with Ethan, and it was not the model for a healthy romance. But I wanted them to make it work. “I guess, keep telling him until he hears you. I think you have a good thing. Distance can’t be easy, but that just means you need to communicate more.”

  He picked up his phone and wrote a text before setting it back down. “I told him we could talk tomorrow. I have the day off.”

  “And what are you going to do to relieve stress? You’re doing a lot. You need to unwind.”

  “I was thinking maybe a hike. If I get back into the National Forest, I’ll be out of cell phone range and he can’t try to call or text.”

  “Well, do it to clear you head and recharge. You may be pissed off, but don’t do things to spite him that will just make things worse.”


  “You’re right. I appreciate it. Sorry for offloading all of this on you.”

  I laughed, “I won’t tell anyone. I promise. Alex will never know the advice came from me.”

  Cody winked back at me, “I don’t think he would believe it.”

  I thought he was getting up to get another round of drinks, but instead he started mixing something in a shaker. He pulled out two shot glasses and poured the concoction into both glasses. “This is on the house. It’s a little something I made up. Well, my brother actually made it, but I use better liquor.”

  I looked down at the shot he slid in front of me. Shots were not usually my thing, but this seemed to be a momentous occasion. There was a glimmer of a chance at friendship with Cody. Without Alex, he was pretty much on his own and dealing with enormous issues. Was that much different from me? Maybe we could lean on each other and make the rest of the summer a little less miserable. I picked up the shot and clinked glasses with him and then downed the drink.

  “What the hell is that?”

  “A worse decision than those nachos.”

  Cody left me to go back to his cleaning duties. He pointed me towards the remote and I found a channel playing an old John Candy movie. The buzz of the shot soon started to kick in which made it easier to say yes when Cody checked in to see if I needed another drink. Without having anything else to do, I asked for a double in hopes that it would keep the boredom away and make the bad slapstick comedy on the screen more humorous.

  Deep down I knew that a night spent getting drunk was not going to be a good idea or lead to anything positive. But I did not care. I did not want to go out into the darkness. I did not want to be alone. Even if it was getting myself into trouble, at least I had something to do.

  Chapter Sixteen

  It was the light from the window that woke me up. How was it so bright right now? I had left the restaurant late and walked home. Now, the sun was up and I did not know how time had passed so quickly.