Marcus & Mia

by Hannah Meade

  "Fine. But can you drop this thing with Marcus? I will decide when I decide. Okay?"

  She looks reluctant, but nods. "Fine. I will drop it. We can just focus on having a good time tonight, yeah.”

  I fake a smile, knowing it will satisfy Emily. But honestly, I am scared as hell for tonight. What is going to happen with Ryan? Is anything even going to happen? What if Marcus turns up? How am I supposed to handle Ryan and Marcus at the same time?

  Overall, how am I supposed to handle another party without getting drunk off my ass again?

  Seventeen

  By the time we get to the party, it is in full swing. We have arrived an hour late, just like I said.

  I feel completely overdressed, as everyone at this party is either wearing daisy dukes or mini skin-tight dresses. I bet Emily feels completely in her element.

  "Mia, this party is so lit."

  I roll my eyes at her use of the word lit. If I ever do use that word, which I do not, it would never be used to describe this party. Everyone is just standing around, either talking or heavily making out, with a cup of alcohol in their hands. I can faintly hear some music, but it is hardly loud enough for a party.

  Someone comes up and taps me on the shoulder, making me jump about five feet in the air. "Jesus." I look behind me and see Ryan, doubled over; laughing uncontrollably.

  I glare at him and Emily, who is also clutching her stomach and dying of laughter. "That is not funny."

  Ryan is the first to catch his breath. "Oh, it was fucking hilarious. I did not know you got scared so easily."

  Emily speaks up, embarrassing me more. "Oh, she does. She gets scared even if she knows you are behind her. It is pretty ridiculous."

  Ryan chuckles once more and turns to me, more serious now. "I am glad you came, Mia."

  I smile despite myself. "I guess I just needed a break from life tonight."

  Ryan grins, gesturing around. "Well, I was hoping to have a livelier party tonight. We had a DJ booked, but he could not come tonight. It has been pretty boring around here."

  Emily speaks up. "Oh, leave that to me." She walks away, dialing a number on her phone.

  Ryan watches her go, a confused look on his face. "What was that about?"

  I shrugs. Why did Emily do anything? "Just Emily being Emily."

  "Can I get you a drink?"

  I immediately nod. If I am going to survive this night, I need a lot of drinks. "The more alcohol, the better."

  He laughs but walks off to get my drink.

  Emily comes back to my side, a smug look on her face.

  "What did you do?"

  "You will find out soon enough. Where did Ryan go?"

  I gesture to him by the drinks table. "To get me a drink."

  Emily gives me a stunned look. "You are drinking tonight? You sure that is a good idea?"

  "Why would it not be?"

  She opened her mouth like she is going to say something but decides against it.

  Ryan comes back, with my cup basically overflowing. I take a big long drink, determined to forget about my problems for at least a little bit. Emily gives me a wary look, but I avoid her eyes.

  ~~~

  Twenty minutes later, the party is even more lit, as Emily put it. She called some friend of hers that has a job as a DJ. Almost every song he has played so far is one of my favorites.

  Right now, I am dancing to Flo Rida's My House. And I am on my third cup of beer, but let us pretend it is only my first.

  "Welcome to my house. Baby take control now, we can’t even slow down. We do not have to go out." I am so glad that the music is so loud and nobody can hear mine and Emily's awful singing. But this is our song, and no way I am not going to sing along. It helps that I have so much alcohol in my body that I can barely feel anything.

  The song ends and Ryan walks over to us, much more sober than Emily and I combined. "How are you girls holding up?"

  I nod vigorously. "I, for your information, am fucking great." My speech is slurred so much I am surprised he can tell what I am saying.

  I giggle, gently hitting Ryan on the chest. "Why are you not more drunk. Huh? It is a greaat night."

  He grabs my hand suddenly, making me freeze. "Mia, you are really drunk. Maybe you should go back home."

  I rip my hand out from his and glare. "Why the fuck would I do that? I have not thought once about my pathetic life or my pathetic excuse of an ex-boyfriend. This shit is fucking great." I take another swig from my cup and walk away, swaying my hips to Cheap Thrills that the DJ is playing.

  Emily catches up to me, surprisingly more sober than a few minutes ago. "Mia, I think you should go. This is not like you. You do not drink your problems away."

  I scoff. "I will do whatever the fuck I want, Emily. Go fuck some random guy or something."

  Emily glares at me. "Fuck you, Mia. I was trying to be a good friend and help you. But I do not even care anymore. Have fun getting completely trashed tonight." She flips me the bird and stalks off, dumping her cup in the sand on her way.

  What the hell is her problem? Emily loves getting wasted and hooking up with random guys. Why is she wigging out about me doing that? She is completely overreacting and that is exactly what I wanted to avoid tonight.

  I throw my cup in the ocean, angry at it for not making me forget everything. Angry at Emily for being a bitch and not understanding how I want to let go. Angry at Marcus for being a dick and making all my feelings for him stay with me like fucking glue.

  I fall back on the sand, landing on my butt. My head is spinning and I wished I was in my right mind right now. Now that my shitty life is invading my head once again, I cannot escape it. Being drunk off my ass is making it that much worse to forget anymore. It is doing the complete opposite of what I wanted in the first place.

  Ryan comes over and plops down next to me. "Where did Emily go?"

  I roll my eyes, even though he cannot see. "We fought."

  "What happened?"

  I throw my hands up, frustrated that I cannot think straight enough to answer him. "Why does it fucking matter? Leave me alone." I try to stand up, a little wobbly once I do. I would have fallen right back down on my ass if Ryan had not reacted quickly and caught me.

  I look up into his eyes, mentally thanking him. The words are caught in my throat once I see the way he is looking at me. The rational side of my brain is telling me to pull away and remove myself from this compromising situation. The irrational side of my brain is telling me to kiss him.

  Oh, I wonder what side of my brain the drunk part of me is going to listen to.

  So I lean in and meet his lips with mine. Irrational part it is. Ryan stills, shocked at what I did. But he soon relaxes and kisses me back with the same hunger I currently possess.

  I want more, more. Just kissing him is not enough. I do not know if it is the drunk part of me, but my body is suddenly immensely hungry for him. I am aware of all the places he is touching me, kissing me. I thread my fingers through his hair and pull him closer to me, if that is even possible.

  His hands wander down to my waist, pulling me even closer to him. There is no inch of space left between his body and mine. We are one. He pulls his hands up until they are cupping my butt.

  That is when I wake up.

  My eyes snap open, staring into his still closed eyes. We are both breathing heavily as I step out of his embrace. What have I done? No. No. This did not just happen. I did not kiss Ryan.

  He smiles, but it is tight. I can see the disappointment in his eyes. "I am sorry. That was forward. I should not have done that. We can go slow."

  I shake my head, hating myself for what comes next. "No. No, it is not that. I just..." Shit. Why cannot I do this? I want him. So bad. But this cannot happen. Not when I have unresolved feelings for Marcus. "I cannot do this, Ryan. I have feelings for someone else. That kiss should not have happened. I am sorry." I back up, willing the tears to stay in my eyes. "I am sorry." I turn around and run.

  I can
hear him calling my name, but I just ignore it. How am I ever going to face him again?

  I run all the way to my apartment, not letting my tears flow until I am inside my room. What the hell was I thinking? All I wanted from this night was to forget everything. And then I go and kiss some guy, who is not the guy I liked. Or at least, he is not the guy who I have serious feelings for.

  My fingers fumble with my phone as I try to use the dial pad. I am shaking so bad from crying and I cannot get it together.

  He picks up on the first ring. "Mia?"

  My hand flows over my mouth, willing myself not to cry. Get it together, Mia.

  "Hello? Mia?"

  I take a deep breath and speak, my voice shaky and barely above a whisper. "I kissed Ryan."

  Silence.

  My lips are shaking uncontrollably, signaling more emotion. "Marcus, say something. Please."

  "It is okay, Mia. I get it. That is your answer then, huh?"

  I shake my head, even though he cannot see me. "No. No. That is not my answer. I called to um..." God, am I really going to do this? Am I going to give him another chance?

  "You called to what?"

  "...I called to tell you that I want to get back together. Please come over."

  I can tell by his voice that he feels much less defeated. "I am on my way." He hangs up the phone, but I stay on the line. By now I am shaking so bad I can barely breathe. What is wrong with me? I have never acted like this.

  Suddenly, the floor looks so comfy. I just want to lie down and take a little nap.

  ~~~

  I wake up in my bed, a cold towel on my forehead. I try to sit up, but groan when I feel my head pounding against my skull. I hate hangovers.

  I hear footsteps coming closer to me. Marcus's smiling face towers over me a second later. "How are you feeling?"

  I groan.

  He laughs. "I am guessing not too well."

  All of the events of the night come rushing back to me. Me going to that party. Me getting drunk. Me kissing Ryan. Me calling Marcus...Oh shit. I did not. Did I? Obviously you did, because he is standing in front of you.

  I grimace trying to sit up, but I try to push away any pain. "Uh, Marcus? Did I call you last night?"

  He nods, smiling at me again. Not good. "You did."

  "And what did I say?"

  I already know the answer before he says it.

  "You said you kissed Ryan."

  I breathe a sigh of relief. That is all? Wow, I thought I had told him I want to get back together with him.

  "And that you wanted to get back together."

  I freeze. He did not just say what I think he said. "I...I did?"

  His eyebrows lace with concern. "Uh, yeah. You do not remember?"

  I shake my head. "No. I do not, Marcus."

  "Well, do you regret it?"

  I think about it. Do I regret it? Sure, I was drunk out of my fucking mind and not in my right mind. But did that mean I regretted what I said or took it back? To be honest, I have not even decided yet. Though how can I tell him that to his face?

  I force a smile on my face and shake my head. "No. I do not."

  He smiles and walks over to kiss me.

  The feeling of his lips on mine is so foreign, I almost do not know what to do at first. My lips soon catch up, however, remembering how this feels. Out of instinct, I put my hands on either side of his face and pull him closer to me, deepening the kiss.

  He winds his fingers in my hair, like he does not want to let go of me ever again.

  My fingers find the buttons on his shirt and start undoing them, one by one. I grab the sides of his now open shirt and push it off his shoulders, with a little help from Marcus. I break the kiss to admire his beautifully toned chest, especially his perfect six pack. I am so glad he has not stopped working out.

  He looks at me, asking me with his eyes if this is okay.

  I nod, too distracted by his body to form a single sentence.

  His lips find mine again and he pushes me back on the bed gently, while towering over me. He tugs at the hem of my shirt, pulling it completely over my head and throwing it somewhere behind him. Grateful for the fact that I had not worn a bra today, he starts exploring my chest with his hands, still keeping the rhythm with my lips.

  I cannot help the small moan that escapes my lips.

  He smiles into my mouth, continuing to explore my half-naked body.

  ~~~

  An hour later, I am cuddled up beside Marcus, his arm around my shoulders. I look up at him, smiling at him smiling down at me.

  "Hey."

  "Hi."

  He trails his fingers down my arm, causing shivers to go through my body. "I am glad you chose to give me a second chance."

  I grab hold of his hand, kissing each finger. "Me too."

  And that is the truth. I am glad I had been so out of it that I called Marcus. I am glad I made the decision by mistake. I severely missed this while we were not together, just hanging out together. This, right here, is where I need to be.

  "You want to get something to eat?"

  I nod vigorously. "Oh, definitely."

  He grins, untangling himself from me and getting dressed.

  I just watch him, admiring how he looks from behind. Admiring what I have missed in the past couple weeks.

  And it is in that moment of watching him that I know I have made the right decision.

  Eighteen

  I wake up to someone knocking. At eight in the fucking morning. I get up once they continue to knock twelve more times, preparing to glare at whomever is interrupting my beauty sleep.

  I find a rather disheveled looking Emily, with red-rimmed eyes like she is crying. "Mia, I am sorry."

  I shake my head, wet droplets already forming at my eyes. "No, I am sorry. I was drunk and stupid last night. I should not have yelled at you." I grab her shoulders and pull her to me, crushing her in a heartwarming hug.

  "I knew you were trashed, Mia. But it still hurt like hell knowing you think of me that way. I guess I gave you the foundation for it, though; you just built the walls." She muffles through my shirt, but I hear enough to feel like shit.

  I pull back, looking her in the eye. "Emily, I am so sorry. Really. I do not think of you as just some slut who sleeps with any and every guy. I do not want you to think that I see you that way. Okay?"

  She nods. "Okay. The whole reason I got so upset in the first place about it was because I...met someone." Her frown slowly turns upside down into a grin.

  My eyes light up at the mention of her meeting someone. "Em, that is great. Who is it?"

  "I met him about a week ago at a party, while you and I were fighting. I got drunk and he came over, way sober than me, and he took me back to my apartment."

  I raise an eyebrow at her, but she is quick to correct herself.

  "Get your mind out of the gutter, Mia. We did not do anything. I fucking passed out from being so drunk. The next morning he was still there, sleeping on the floor next to my bed. He even laid out some Advil and a glass of water for me. He woke up about fifteen minutes later and we talked for hours. It is like we did not even want to stop, for anything. We have been talking ever since then."

  I am honestly surprised. Emily is not the type to talk seriously with someone, yet alone get into a relationship.

  "You think you guys will date? And what is his name?"

  She looks down, but not quick enough for me not to catch the pink tint that creeps up unto her cheeks. "I do not know. His name is Derrick."

  I smile, reaching out my hand to cover hers. She looks up. "I am happy for you, Em. I hope you guys are happy. You need this."

  She smiles. "Yeah. I do. So what is up with you? What happened the other night?"

  I shift uncomfortably, not wanting to have this conversation with her. "What do you mean?"

  She smirks. "I mean what happened, Mia?"

  I look down, a blush now creeping onto my cheeks. "Nothing."

  She scoffs.
"Cut the shit. Did you hook up with Ryan?"

  My head snaps up to give her a confusing look. "No. Why would I hook up with Ryan?"

  She stares me down. "Why would you not? Would you just tell me what the fuck happened, so I do not have to keep guessing and have you yelling at me for getting it wrong?"

  I sigh, defeated. "I did not hook up with Ryan, but I may have stupidly kissed him." Here it goes. "And then I may have...hooked up with Marcus."

  Emily does not say anything at first, just stares at me with her eyes as wide as saucers. "YOU...YOU WHAT NOW?"

  I grin sheepishly at her, not saying anything; she would just answer herself for me.

  "Mia, this is huge. I am gathering you made your decision then?"

  I nod, smiling to myself. "Yeah, I did."

  "So what the hell happened?"

  Here we go. "Well, I had a couple of drinks..."

  "Clearly."

  "...and I kissed Ryan. But I instantly regretted it. So I ran home and started bawling my fucking eyes out. And after I rid myself of all the liquid in my body, I might have called Marcus and told him that I kissed Ryan. So, he came over and um..."

  By now, Emily is full on grinning at me. "And you had sex."

  My cheeks turn bright red at that. Hearing her say it out loud makes it that much more real. "Yeah, Em. We had sex."

  She claps her hands together excitedly. "So, did you guys hang out yesterday?"

  I shake my head. "Nope. He had to go to a family reunion. But he texted me the whole day. Telling me how amazing last night was." I smile, thinking back to yesterday.

  "Awh, Mia. I am happy for you. So are you guys back together? Or what?"

  I shrug, not really knowing myself. "Um, I think so. We did not really talk about it."

  She seems satisfied with that answer. For now. "So what is your plan for today?"

  "Well, I was sleeping. I have work later. Other than talk to Marcus." My phone dings, signaling I have gotten a text. Marcus.

  Morning beautiful. M

  I did not think it was possible, but my blush deepens even more.