by Colbie Kay
It's time for Cody’s ride! I watch the chute as some cowboys are there, helping him to ease down onto the bull. He looks over my way, grinning with a wink. He tugs on his rope that we got ready earlier, his left arm goes up into the air, and he nods his head. A man standing outside of the chute pulls the rope, opening the gate, and they come out center stage. The clock starts ticking. My heart thunders like that bucking bull. I’m on the edge of my seat as the seconds pass.
I can tell this bull is gentler than the one last night, but it doesn't stop him from going crazy. Baby Blue bucks left and right, his back end and front come off the ground. I feel like the eight-seconds is eight hours, I'm nervous. Finally, the buzzer sounds, Cody jumps off, Jake helps get the bull back in the chute and locked up. He controlled the shit outta that bull! I stand up, pointing at him and screaming his name with the rest of the fans. Cody comes over, jumping onto the stands in front of me. He gives me another wink before dropping down and bowing for the screaming crowd.
"He's good for you,” Pudge tells me as we wait to hear his scores.
My smile falls. "Pudge, he leaves tomorrow. Nothing good can come of this."
"You don't know that, Sonya! You can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. He's not gonna want to let you go, and maybe, this is your chance to get away from all of that shit you do at the club."
I snap my gaze toward her. "What am I supposed to do? Jump in his truck and move a thousand miles away from my life for a man I met yesterday? Get real, Pudge. Shit like that doesn't happen." Ending the conversation, I jump from my seat and stomp down the stadium stairs, and I hear her follow me.
Pudge and I wait a few feet from the doors where the riders will exit. After waiting a while, Jake and Cody emerge freshly showered and wearing clean clothes. Both have duffle bags slung over their shoulders.
Cody spots me immediately and quickly jogs over, picking me up in a tight hug and spinning me around as we both laugh. "93.1, beautiful!”
"Congratulations! You did amazing!”
He sets me back on my feet. "Leave your car here. Come with me." His hopeful eyes bore into mine, and all I can do is nod.
Cody drags me away but stops several times to sign autographs, and I get the stank eye from several women. I snicker at their jealousy, but my own pang of jealousy rears its ugly head when I think about him leaving and being at another competition. Will he find someone else to fulfill his needs like he did that redhead in the office? The only time he lets go of my hand is when he’s signing something, which gives me some sense of comfort, but the thoughts still dance in the back of my mind.
Cody drove us out of town and onto a dirt road in the middle of nowhere. We’re lying in the back of his truck, staring up at the stars. "Where did you find this place?" I ask quietly. It’s different from the city, and all you hear are the sounds of the crickets chirping.
"After I left you in the stands, I asked around.” I feel his eyes on me, but I keep looking at the stars. “Tell me about yourself."
"I already told you, there isn't much to tell. I'm twenty-two, graduated from college in May, have always lived here, and work at a clothing store." I'm not about to share the name of Ever's store with him.
Cody’s thumb brushes across the skin of my hand. “What about your family?”
I stiffen, not from his touch but from the mention of family. All I ever had was my mom by blood and Bulk, who treated me like his own daughter at times, while other times, he didn’t. Hell, I could have been his for all I know. My mom never knew who my father was since she was sleeping around with the whole club. "Nope, just me. That's enough about me, though.” I swivel my head in his direction. “I wanna hear about you."
"Well, it's only my mom and me back home in North Carolina. Ever since I was a little boy, I wanted to ride bulls like my dad. I decided not to go to college to live out my dream. Now, here I am at twenty-four, about to make it happen."
"What happened to your dad?"
"He got killed while ridin’."
"I'm sorry." My stomach twists in knots, thinking something like that could happen to Cody. Why would he want to do the very thing that killed his father? Bikers live a dangerous life, too.
Cody sits up on one elbow, his gaze searching mine. He tucks some of the hair that’s fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear. "It's fine, it was a long time ago. Do you know how beautiful you are?"
A lump forms in my throat. I can't answer. Instead of saying anything, I lay here, gaping at him. He leans in closer, his tongue slides across his bottom lip. My heart aches to feel his lips touch mine, but I can’t. I can’t allow my first kiss to be with a man I will never see again after tomorrow. At the last second, I turn my face, his mouth crashes into my cheek.
I whisper, "It's getting late, you should take me to my car." I climb out of the truck bed and into the passenger side of the truck. My nose stings as tears brim my lids. It was one fucking weekend, how could I let myself fall for someone in one damn weekend?
The whole way back, not one word is spoken between the two of us. What I wouldn’t give to know his thoughts right now, but I don’t dare speak. I’m scared of what his reaction will be. I’m terrified of saying something I shouldn’t. My stomach turns at the thought he will think I’m rejecting him. I want him more than I’ve ever desired anything, but I have to protect myself. If I hand him all I have to offer, even for one night, I will be destroyed when he’s gone.
During the ride, I’ve kept my head leaning against the cool glass of the window, and a million thoughts invade my mind, and my emotions run rampant. How do I do this? How do I step out of his truck and let him go? How do I allow him to leave tomorrow?
Cody drops his hand on my thigh. “I don’t know what happened back there, but I’m sorry.”
My head snaps up to look in his direction. “You’re sorry? What do you have to apologize for? I’m the one that should be saying sorry.”
He shrugs his shoulder. “I don’t know, Sonya. Look, I’m gettin’ mixed signals here. At times I think you want me, and then like a switch, it’s flipped, and you’re pushin’ me away. I don’t want you doin’ anything you don’t wanna do.”
“It’s not that I don’t want…” I abruptly shut my mouth. “I gotta go.” I rush out of his truck and quickly jump into my car. My hands shake as I find my keys and try to get the ignition started. I peel away before Cody has a chance to try and stop me.
"It's about fucking time you got here, Shug. I've been waiting too fucking long for your pretty little ass to show up." Ghost’s words slur, telling me he’s already wasted as I enter the bar at the clubhouse.
I roll my eyes. "Well, I'm here now." I can hear some of the other girls talking shit, and I spin on my heels to face them. "You got something you wanna say?"
Lilly huffs, clearly annoyed, "I just think it's funny how you got them waiting for you when you don't even want to be here."
I snicker. "What, are you jealous, Lilly?"
Her mocking laughter rings out. "What would I have to be jealous of?"
"Well, since you're sitting here, running your mouth,” I pause, glancing over my shoulder at a smirking Ghost. I point my thumb toward him, and continue, "Ghost here has been waiting for me like you said. I think that says everything on its own."
"You're a bitch sometimes, you know that, Shug?" Lilly gives me a disgusted expression, sneering at me. Her lip curl reminds me of Elvis.
"Yeah.” I nod in agreement. “I think you need to go fill that mouth of yours with a fat cock. Mind your business, Lilly, before you end up like Jasmine or Morgan." Jasmine disappeared one day. I have no doubt that the Sinners did something to her. She wanted Hanger bad, and when he got with his Ol’ Lady, Zoey, Jasmine went crazy. As for Morgan, she got the shit beat out of her by Jacey, Bear’s Ol’ Lady, for trying to mess with him. You want to stay in the good graces of the Ol’ Ladies and stay the fuck away from their men. Don’t be disrespectful. There are lots of single men to go after, leave the taken one
s alone, or you’re going to be asking for trouble. That’s one difference between the rest of these whores and me, I know my place.
Lilly hisses, "Fuck you, Shug."
My eyes widen in fake horror. "Is that all you got?” I smirk, stepping closer to her on the couch. My voice lowers as words spew from my mouth, “Why don't you take your skanky ass somewhere else? Do something with your motherfucking life instead of on your back or knees with your pussy and mouth wide open, begging, and waiting. Stop sitting here in your pathetic little fantasy that one day you’re going to become an Ol' Lady, because, honey, it ain't ever gonna happen. You're just a sorry ass bitch that's gonna be sitting here forever while every single one of these guys passes you up when they find something better." With those words, Ghost pulls me away while I huff and puff in anger. I really want to go back there and twat punch the fuck outta Lilly.
He shuts the door behind us, I automatically begin pulling my clothes off before lying on the bed. "God, she pisses me off. All of them do."
As Ghost is removing his clothes, he says, "Don't go thinking you’re better than them, Shug. Just 'cause you have other shit going on in your life doesn't mean a thing. You're still here, naked, lying in my bed with your legs spread open. You're still a whore like them."
My eyes widen, and my mouth drops open. “Excuse me?” I can't believe he said that shit to me.
"You heard me, Shug. You're mistaken if you think you're ever gonna leave this life. You may not be waiting for one of us like them, but club life is all you've ever known." Ghost gives me a sympathetic look as he rolls the condom on. I don't want his fucking sympathy; he just pissed me off even more. He doesn't know shit! I will get out one day.
Jumping off the bed, I don’t even bother to pick up my clothes as I storm toward the door. He grabs my arm, stopping me. "I'm not doing this tonight," I shout and try to yank my arm from his tight grasp. Instead of breaking free, my body hits the wall. Skin to skin, Ghost's front presses against my backside.
He presses me harder into the wall, my face smashing against the wood grain paneling. "Yes, you are, whore. I’m taking that cunt of yours whether you like it or not.” Spit hits my face as drunken words pour from his mouth. He adds, “You’ve made me wait too goddamn long. Do what you’re good at and spread those fuckin’ legs. That’s right. That’s all you’re fuckin’ good for, Shug, so shut the fuck up and do your job.” The stench of alcohol makes me want to gag as his hot breath floats into my nostrils.
I'm not fucking doing this, and he isn't going to make me. I roar in a fit of fury, and my fight instincts kick in. "Like hell, I will." Rearing my elbow back, I connect with his ribs, and he falls backward. I spin to face him. "Don't you ever try to make me do shit! I don't care if I'm a whore here, you won't fucking touch me if I say no," I scream at him as I stomp closer. My fist forms at my side and pulling back, I jab it into his jaw.
Everything happens quickly; I don’t even see his hand coming toward my face until my flesh is stinging and burning. I yell out from the pain as my head is thrown to the side. "You need to learn your goddamn place here! I'll be glad to teach it to you, you fuckin' cunt."
No, he did not just call me a cunt! “I know my fucking place and my worth, and this isn’t it!” I yell into the small space and gain my bearings after being punched. Lifting my leg, I kick out as hard as I can, aiming right for his balls. Ghost's pain-filled screams echo throughout the room as he drops to the ground, holding his junk. I rush over to his holster and grab his gun. Turning the safety off, I pull the trigger and send a bullet flying into his thigh. "Now, you can call me a fuckin' cunt, you slimy piece of shit." I drop the gun and quickly get my clothes on while he’s lying on the floor, continuing to scream and groan in pain. Slamming the door behind me, I stride through the bar and tell anyone listening that someone needs to go check on Ghost.
"What did you do, Shug?" I recognize Chayser’s voice, but I’m in a daze from what transpired. All I hear are pounding footfalls passing by me.
I smile. "I fuckin' shot him, that's what I did!”
I sashay to my bedroom with a crazed smile still on my face. I start the shower, turning the water on as hot as I can stand it, and once I’m in, I drop to the shower floor in a fit of laughter. Oh my God, that felt good.
I don’t stay in the shower long because I know I need to get out of here. I quickly pack a bag with all my clothes and run out of the clubhouse while everyone is still dealing with Ghost. I don’t know what they will do to me for shooting him, but I’m not hanging around to find out.
For the first time in my life, I feel lost. I’ve always had a plan, a goal, I knew what the hell I was doing, and nothing was going to come between me and that dream. When I drove away from my home in North Carolina, I never expected to meet someone that would make me question everything after only one weekend. But Sonya Collins has. She blew into my life unexpectedly and has consumed me without even trying. Thoughts of our date and lying in my truck with her play on repeat in my mind. How do I go back to livin’ my everyday life after meetin’ Sonya, my beautiful girl?
For the first time in my life, I met a girl who likes me for me. She doesn't give a fuck who I am, what I can do for her, or how good she looks on my arm. Jesus Christ, why does she have to live a thousand fucking miles away from me? I thought maybe at some point in my life, I would find a woman like her, but I never expected it to be now when I’m at the top of my game. I’m close to having everything I ever wanted, but I won’t have her.
Sitting on the edge of the hotel room bed, I run my hands over my bearded face. I'm tired, I feel like shit because I didn't sleep worth a fuck last night. Staring at my packed bags by the door, I drop my head, and my shoulders sag.
"You okay, man?" Jake asks as he walks out of the bathroom.
"No," I state and shake my head.
He sits on the bed beside me. His hand grips my shoulder as he shakes me a little.
My eyes meet his. "How do I just pick up and leave? How are you holdin' up with havin' to leave Pudge?"
He sighs heavily. "It’s goin’ to be fuckin’ hard, no doubt, but we talked about it last night. I think y'all just avoided the unavoidable, you know? I don't think y'all wanted to face what was comin' today, and y'all should have. You should have had a conversation about what’s goin’ to happen with y’all. You still have today to talk to her, see what you both want. There's always the long-distance option." Jake stands from the bed and begins packing the rest of his shit as I think about what he said. Could we have a long-distance relationship? I don't know, but I'd be willing to try.
I can’t put it off any longer, checkout time is rapidly approaching, I walk toward my bags and reluctantly pick them up off the floor. After one last walk through to make sure we haven’t forgotten anything, we trek down to the front desk and check out of the hotel.
As we’re throwing our bags in the backseat, I pull my phone out of my pocket and call Sonya. She answers on the second ring, "Hey." Her voice trembles a little, but it’s enough that I can hear it.
Closing my eyes, I lean back against my truck, letting it hold me up. "Hey, beautiful. I wanna see you."
"I don't think that's a good idea." Her voice is quiet as if she’s almost whispering. My heart is shattering, listening to the sadness lacing her words.
My eyes snap open. No, she's not doing this, I'm not leaving without seeing her one more time. "Why?" My demand is harsher than I intend it to be, but Christ, she can’t do this. With a couple deep breaths, I try to calm myself. "Sonya, please don't do this! I need to see you one last time. Please!" I beg and plead.
"I can't, I'm sorry. It's too hard. I thought I would be okay, but I'm not. I can't handle this, I'm sorry. Good luck in Vegas. I hope you win. Goodbye, Cody." She hangs up before I can get another word in. I try calling her back a few more times, but it goes straight to voicemail. She’s probably turned her phone off.
Over my dead fuckin’ body, will that be our goodbye!
Ju
mping into the driver’s seat, my wild eyes meet Jake’s with his phone to his ear.
"Who are you talkin’ to?" I ask angrily as I get the key in the ignition and start my truck.
He frowns in confusion. "What's wrong?"
"Are you talking to Pudge?" I grit through clenched teeth.
"Yeah, why?"
"Ask her where Sonya is."
Jake passes on my message, asking Pudge my question. His features pale. "She doesn't want to see you."
The rage I’ve been trying to keep at bay is surfacing to a point I’m going to explode. "Give me the phone."
He shakes his head frantically. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Give me the goddamn phone!" My harsh, no-nonsense command has Jake handing it over.
"Best friend or brother, you upset her, and we’re gonna have problems."
I ignore him and suck in a deep breath of air and release it. "Pudge, please. I need you to tell me where she is."
I hear her breathing through the phone before she finally answers, “Cody, she doesn't want to see you."
"Pudge, listen to me. I can't let this be our goodbye. I need to see her before we leave. As crazy as this sounds, I'm fallin’ in love with her."
She laughs lightly. "It doesn't sound crazy at all. I see it in your eyes every time you look at her. She's at my apartment with me. Jake was gonna stop by anyway. Don't tell her I told you she’s here."
I grin with victory and hand the phone back to Jake. His body visibly relaxes when he realizes he won't have to try protecting Pudge from me. It appears I'm not the only one messed up over a woman after one weekend.