Time for New Beginnings

by Mette Barfelt

  Bettina started on the pizza dough, to give it time to rise for an hour. Preben came by and said they were heading to Oslo with the baby equipment, and would be back in time for dinner. She made sure they had refreshments in the living room and took a sherry for her aunt. They were playing cards, and Willy was entertaining as always. Mathilde seemed to be having a good time, so Bettina went to fry the ground meat, and make the pizza sauce. She fetched the pepperoni and the salad ingredients. Then she set a long table in the dining room. She wasn’t sure how Mathilde would feel about eating in the kitchen when they had guests, so she decided to stay on the safe side.

  She had started to feel more at home in the house, but it still didn’t feel like hers. As long as her aunt was alive, she would probably feel that way. Mathilde had lived here with Uncle Herman for many years. And now they had to adapt to each other. The question was how smooth that would go. She was flexible and had an easy time adapting, so she would have to do her best. After all, it had been her own choice to go all out on the guesthouse, and now the apartment in Oslo was sold, there was no way back even if she should want it.

  The cheese on the pizza was bubbling and ready when she heard Preben and Christel in the hall. “Did the trip go well?” Bettina asked, while she sliced the pizza and placed it on a platter. She couldn’t help but envy Christel’s big belly, and the exciting time she had ahead of her. Christel beamed with happiness in her tight, turquoise dress, and was in her own baby world already. She was jealous of all the memories Christel and Preben shared. To think that he’d offered to take the equipment home for her. Of course Christel had accepted. She would have done the same. She should feel sure that the old feelings between them hadn’t flared up again, but she wasn’t. Even if Christel was the one who had left, Bettina didn’t know if she regretted it. And how Preben felt, she was no longer sure. He was loving and caring, as he had always been. But they had barely had time to themselves after she moved here, to talk together and be intimate. The weekends had been busy with guests. Mathilde had needed attention, and she hadn’t even had time to watch Anneli’s handball matches with her new team. She used to go to some matches and missed it. She would prioritize it in the future. There had been lots of new things to learn at the guesthouse, but she was getting there. She could relax more, and make time for her own things. Her aunt being out of bed would free up so much time. She was grateful for the charmer’s persuasion techniques today.

  They had just started eating when Anneli got home. “Hi, I thought you were at Jane’s. Would you like some pizza?”

  “I’m only here to change. We’re meeting at her place in half an hour. Several girls from school are coming.” Anneli sat at the table. “But Aunt, are you feeling better?” She looked at Mathilde, who looked slightly embarrassed while playing with an onion ring on her plate.

  “I’m feeling considerably better, thank you. It feels good to put on real clothes.”

  Anneli smiled. “That’s great.”

  “Do you like it here in Solvik?” Mathilde inquired.

  She nodded, her mouth full of pepperoni pizza. “The handball team is excellent, and I’ve made new friends. There’s tons of homework at school, but the best thing is that I can walk or bike anywhere.”

  “It’s a fine place to live,” Mathilde said. “I’m planning to take over the gardening.” She looked at Bettina. “I’ve gathered that you’re not fond of that kind of work.”

  Bettina’s face lit up. “You’re right. I don’t know much about plants. But the garden is stunning. It would be a shame if I messed it up.” She went to get another pizza from the oven. They always turned out better when she only made one at a time.

  Preben went to refill the wine glasses. “Would you like another beer, Father?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “And who are you?” Mathilde asked and looked at Christel. “You appear to know everyone else here.”

  It dawned on Bettina that no one had told her who she was. So she explained how everyone was connected, and how Christel had found the guesthouse.

  “So you’re also part of the family?” Mathilde looked at her, nonplussed, and tried to understand the family relations.

  “In a way,” Christel said and helped herself to some salad. “Preben and I were married for eight years.”

  “And now you’re going to have a child with Preben, but he’s getting married to Bettina?” Mathilde shook her head in bewilderment. “The youth of today. This is not how it was in my days.”

  Bettina didn’t know how Mathilde would react to the news about the father of the baby. But this was Christel’s decision, and there was no need for anyone else to have an opinion. However, it may not be that easy. People liked to express their opinions, whether it was their business or not.

  Mathilde cut a piece of pizza. Bettina noticed her red nail polish and was glad that she had made an effort to look good. Mathilde was old-fashioned in many ways, but her appearance was youthful today. It was nice that she had pulled herself together and joined them. She was a particular woman, no doubt about it. Far from the warmest kind, even if she tried her best. Bettina was wondering how their future collaboration would go.

  “No, Preben isn’t the father of my child. We split up a couple of years ago. I’ve had the baby on my own.”

  “What do you mean by that? Far as I know, you need two to create a child.”

  Christel hid a smile and sipped water. She explained how she had become pregnant, and it wasn’t well received.

  “Dear me. At a clinic?” Mathilde was so shaken that Bettina hurried to refill her wine glass. She took a gulp and regained some color.

  Bettina looked at Christel. She didn’t seem upset about the outburst. Hadn’t she said that her parents’ reaction had been the same? The difference was that she had hoped for and expected their support, and wished they were happy on her behalf. Mathilde was only a stranger. Bettina hoped Christel’s parents would change their minds when Ted was born. Not just for Christel and the child’s sake, but for the sake of her parents.

  Mathilde struggled to grasp all of this. “But why didn’t you have children in all the years you were married? It would have been both easier and free of charge.”

  An uncomfortable silence filled the dining room. The guests chewed on the crispy pizza crust, and no words were spoken. Bettina was wondering the same thing and waited for an answer from one of them. The answer came from an unexpected source.

  “Haha, I guess it’s easier said than done,” Willy chuckled and downed the rest of his beer. “Isn’t that so, son?” He patted him jovially on his back. “Your tadpoles would never have been allotted a start number in the Monte Carlo race. You can’t have inherited it from me, considering how many children we have. Not to mention grandchildren. We need a bus for everyone to fit.”

  “Willy,” Elfrid said and rapidly slapped his hand. “Think before you speak.”

  “But it’s no secret, dear,” her husband defended himself. “With four children and eight grandchildren, we need a bus. You said so yourself not long ago.” He didn’t seem to get what he had done wrong.

  Of course it was a secret. Bettina was shocked and understood precisely what he meant. Thoughts filled her head. Why on earth hadn’t Preben mentioned this? Wasn’t he able to have children? And why had she never inquired about the reason for Christel’s and Preben’s childlessness after such a long marriage? She felt like an idiot.

  Preben’s face was dark red, and it looked like he would prefer to be anywhere but here. He pulled his fingers through his light hair, and it fell over his eyes. She felt bad for him but needed answers. It was about time. But she didn’t have the heart to ask with so many other people around. It was a conversation to be had between the two of them.

  Anneli saved the situation by excusing herself. The others did the same, and she sent them to the living room with more drinks. She needed some time to mull over what Willy had said, and couldn’t stand seeing any of them at the moment. Christ
el looked at her with sorrowful eyes, as if she knew she hadn’t learned about the speed of the tadpoles, or the lack thereof. She would have liked to speak with Christel about this, but she had to talk to Preben first and hear his version. It was such a pity they couldn’t have this talk right away and get it over with. It would feel good to get everything cleared up, but it would have to wait until when they went to bed that evening.

  ***

  Christel was disappointed. She had gathered that Preben hadn’t told Bettina what was going on in his lower parts. If he hadn’t told her before, then he at least should have told her during the last week. There had been so much baby talk after she checked in at the guesthouse, and it would have been natural to bring it up. She had encouraged him to tell her, but he hadn’t followed her advice. She knew it wasn’t an easy topic to talk about, but he couldn’t just bury his head in the sand and hope the problem would disappear by itself. Bettina had a right to know what she was getting herself into. She longed for another child, something that would be difficult with Preben. Not impossible, but not easy either. Even though Bettina was younger than her, age was not on her side. She was in the kitchen now, clearing up. She wanted to be alone, and that was understandable. They would have a chat tomorrow when his parents had left. By then, she would have possibly had a chance to talk to Preben.

  ***

  Their spirits were high again when Bettina joined the others in the living room. They were playing cards, and Mathilde was as enthusiastic as the rest of them. Bettina was delighted to sit and do nothing, finally. Waiting on guests was stressful, but tomorrow everything would be better.

  “I’ve updated your aunt on everything regarding the wedding,” Elfrid said.

  Preben’s parents obviously had no idea that their son had neglected to inform his fiancée about the swimming abilities of his tadpoles. It was just as well, so she didn’t have to discuss it with everyone.

  “I’m looking forward to your wedding,” Mathilde said and put down a jack.

  “Where are you going on your honeymoon?” Elfrid broke a snickerdoodle in half and dunked it in her coffee, like older people liked to do. The cookie was crumbly and sank to the bottom. “Oh my.” She used her spoon to fish it back up, but it had already dissolved. “I’m going to miss your cookies,” she said and stared longingly into the coffee cup.

  Bettina was having a hard time building up a desire to go anywhere but didn’t want to give the impression that there was trouble in paradise. Besides, problems were meant to be solved. That was what she had always heard.

  “I want to take Preben to Mexico. My relatives live on the coast, and the beaches are gorgeous. The water is turquoise.”

  “That sounds amazing,” Elfrid said and her pretty face took on a dreamy look.

  “And we even agree on the honeymoon,” she said with a smile. “Unlike everything else.”

  Elfrid patted her arm. “You’ll figure it out. First, you have to decide on a church and the number of guests. And then where the reception is going to be held. And the date, naturally. The invitations must be sent out in due time, now would be the right time. I’ll gladly help, just let me know.”

  She was grateful for help with the practical stuff, and she liked Elfrid. Willy not so much. But tonight she had a lot to thank him for. His frankness had revealed a secret of the most explosive kind. It was a small bomb he had set off at the dinner table; he just wasn’t aware of it. She sighed heavily. She was tired, and most of all she wanted to go to bed. It was past midnight, and her eyelids started drooping. It had been an eventful day. First her aunt’s transformation, which she could also thank Willy for, and then Preben’s big secret. It was enough to push anyone over the edge. She needed to talk to Preben, but he was busy with the card game. They were joking and laughing and having a grand time around the coffee table. Her aunt played along.

  “Preben, I’m going to bed now. Are you coming, so we can talk?”

  “Sure, sweetheart, give me a few minutes. We just started a new round.” He got up and gave her a quick kiss.

  While she lay in bed, her thoughts wandered to the strange day. First the episode with Mathilde, that had been so joyful, and then Preben’s issues, which were anything but uplifting. To be fair, she had never asked him about this, so she had herself to blame. But wasn’t it his job to tell her his circumstances about having children? He knew she wanted to give Anneli siblings. So why hadn’t he said anything? They had talked about it several times, mainly since he wanted children himself. She felt like she had been tricked. But what if it had been a misunderstanding? It might have just been a joke. Willy was a joker and could twist the truth once in a while. There was most likely nothing to worry about. She felt better and the knots loosened in her stomach. Her eyes shut, and she fell asleep.

  ***

  Mathilde was thankful that Willy had talked her into going down to the living room. Truth be told, it had been about time. She had felt sorrier for herself than was good for her. The others seemed genuinely pleased to see her, and that made her feel cherished.

  She had tried to keep it together tonight and she had been positive and friendly. It was exhausting to smile when deep down she was sad and tired of everything. The loss of Herman was almost bigger than she could handle.

  She lay down in bed, fatigued, and out of habit reached out for her husband. But he wasn’t there; he would never be there again. Her grief was unequaled, and it felt fine to have gotten a few sherries too many tonight.

  15

  Preben was in a deep sleep when Bettina showered and got ready the next morning. She let him sleep, although she would have liked to have talked to him. But Elfrid and Willy had to be taken care of. They were leaving early afternoon. It was the birthday of one of their many grandkids, and there were gifts to be delivered.

  It was quiet in the house, but she could hear someone walking down the stairs. She was glad to see that Mathilde hadn’t changed her mind, but was set on participating in life at the guesthouse.

  “Morning,” she said and smiled cheerfully. “Did you sleep well?”

  Fortunately, Mathilde was dressed in regular clothes today. A dark blue blouse with matching pants. And low, sensible shoes. She looked more comfortable than in the elegant outfit she had worn for the guests.

  “Not bad, thank you. I thought I could help you with breakfast. Doing everything yourself is a lot of work.”

  “How nice. I usually buy fresh bread at the bakery in the morning, but they’re closed today. So I’ll heat up the rolls from yesterday in the oven.”

  Her aunt nodded in agreement. “Originally, I planned on baking bread, but after trying all the good stuff from the bakery, I changed my mind. There’s no point in doing all the work yourself. It’s heavy.”

  Bettina was astonished at the transformation. Mathilde was easygoing and trying to collaborate to the best of her ability. She would take it a day at a time and hope that her mood would last.

  “We’ve been having breakfast in the kitchen since it’s so cozy here. But we can sit in the dining room if you prefer.” She let her aunt choose, it was her domain.

  “Let’s continue with that. When we get strangers as guests, it will be more natural to use the dining room.” Mathilde pushed up her glasses and started setting the table.

  Bettina agreed and pulled a frying pan out of the cupboard. Not long after, the kitchen was full of people. Even Preben was awake.

  “This blueberry jam is tasty,” Elfrid said and put a few spoonfuls on her roll. “I never imagined how easy it is to make your own jam. You just stir some sugar with the berries, and it’s ready. And it tastes so much better than the bought version.”

  Bettina nodded. She had grown up with lots of berries, and her father was an expert at making jams of all sorts. The best ones were raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, and cloudberries. She missed her parents and wished they lived closer. She had to remember to call them with the great news about Mathilde.

  The conversati
on flowed freely around the table, but she wasn’t able to follow it completely. Her mind was far away, and she had so many questions. There was no time for her and her own pondering. She would have loved to spend some quality time with her daughter now, but she’d had a sleepover with the other girls at her friend’s house, and wouldn’t be coming home until later today.

  It turned into another extended breakfast, and Preben’s parents didn’t want to leave. They assured her they’d had such a fine time that they would visit again. She didn’t feel like she could charge for their stay, they were almost family. But Willy insisted. “You’re supposed to live off the revenue the guests bring,” he pointed out. “Isn’t that the whole point?” He pulled his wallet with the golden edges out of his suit jacket, which was light gray and striped today. “Of course we will pay. We’ve had full board, and had an excellent time.” He spread out the row of gold cards and mulled over which one to use. In the end, she gave in, but it was awkward. She consoled herself that they could afford it.

  They walked them out to the car. Preben carried their suitcases and stacked them in the trunk of the now dusty Jaguar.

  “Thanks for having us,” Elfrid said and hugged her. “Now you have to figure out how you want the wedding so that we can get started on the planning. I sound like a broken record now, but tell me what I can do.”

  Willy embraced her, and she could have done without it. With tender hands and tender kisses, it was too much, even for almost-family. “It’s been a magnificent stay. We’ll see you again soon.”

  Christel had also come to say goodbye and got the same, warm farewell.

  “You have to call us when the baby is born, and we’ll be over. And if you need us, you know where we are. This almost feels like our grandchild. Yes, that’s how it is,” Elfrid said and nodded several times to confirm it. “Let’s not lose touch again.” Both eyes were moist, and Bettina felt like she was on the sideline again. She thought it was a weird thing to say when they had so many other grandkids to spend time with. If they hadn’t had any, she could have understood it. But it was evident that they loved Christel dearly, and had missed her. The joy of seeing each other again had therefore been great.