by Amanda Fleet
Faran held my hand on the table, his knuckles white. Fear spiked nausea into my belly and my stomach clenched.
A messenger came up to the table and handed Lord Eredan a note. He scanned it, then raised his head to look straight at me.
“Lady Aeron, why were you in the storerooms before dinner?”
My mouth fell open. How the hell did he know that? I was sure no one had followed me, nor that anyone had seen me leave.
Faran nudged me, looking curious. “Aeron?”
“Um…” My brain scrambled for a plausible reason and came up empty.
“Your communications button places you in the middle of the stores,” said Lord Eredan. “Room C13B1. Why were you there?”
My communications button placed me there? How? And how long had Lord Eredan been tracking me?
“I got lost,” I said, lamely. “And to be honest, I found myself in a room full of beer and was tempted to have one. I didn’t though. That would have been theft.”
Lord Eredan scratched his collarbone. “You were lost?” he mocked.
“Mm.”
“Then perhaps you need an escort with you at all times.” He turned to his son. “Control your wife.”
My heart sank. How the hell would I manage to get away if Faran stayed glued to my side?
Lord Eredan rose slowly and leaned over the table to hiss in my ear, “Watch. Your. Step,” before leading his wife away.
As soon as he was out of sight, Faran’s shoulders sagged as if he could no longer hold up a huge weight. I squeezed his hand, and he looked at me, pale.
“Sorry,” I said softly. “That could have gone better.”
Faran shrugged. “You’re right. The Realm wonders what we do. Most of The Realm knows nothing of the threat, because they haven’t been told. If Aegyir attacks, try to stay alive until I get to you.”
He led me through the Great Hall. A multitude of eyes watched us, the Guardians falling silent as we passed. How much had they all overheard?
I tucked my arm around Faran’s waist, startling him for a second time. Hesitantly, he slipped his arm around my shoulders. I tilted my head up. “Not the done thing?”
“It’s more customary to be less close in public, but I don’t mind.” His cheek creased with a smile.
“Hm. While you need lessons about Outside, I think I need lessons on what the etiquette is here. I seem to get it wrong all the time.”
The twinkle in his eye intensified. “Well, you don’t squeeze my leg in front of my parents, right in the middle of the Great Hall!”
“Yeah, I guessed I’d got that one wrong.”
“Feel free to squeeze my leg when we’re alone.” He grinned. “But know that I’ll retaliate!”
***
Faran led me down a hallway parallel to the main corridor out of the Great Hall, with winged dragons and two-headed lions covering the panelling. I'd never been down this route and was struggling to work out where it led.
“Where are we going?” I whispered.
“Labyrinth Garden. Why are we whispering?” He leaned his shoulder against a narrow door and we found ourselves in a different part of the gardens leading to the labyrinth.
“Secret door?” I couldn’t spot it again once he closed it – both it and the walls were decorated in a geometric design. I wanted to study it – it was the first time I’d seen a pattern like it here and my artist’s eye was drawn to it.
Faran shrugged. “No. Just not well known. Come.”
He caught my hand and led me between the entrance hedges to the labyrinth. The air was cool and damp on my face and smelled of approaching rain. Clouds had covered the sky, and it was now pitch black. I hung back and Faran tugged at my hand. “The centre is lit. Come.”
If he hadn’t kept hold of my hand, I’d have lost him even if he’d only been a few centimetres away from me. His feet didn’t hesitate, and he led me through deft turns in quick succession. I’ve always hated the dark and my heart surged with relief when the centre appeared, the lights in the fountain making the droplets sparkle. Faran chuckled as we leaned our backs against the basin, flexing his fingers, and I realised how hard I’d been gripping his hand.
“Relax. I’ve known the route since I was a child, remember. It’s my favourite place in The Realm. At night…” He waved his hand at our surroundings, “It’s silent, glorious and truly alone.” He turned and leaned his side against the wide basin. The weight was back on his shoulders. “Why were you really in the storeroom?”
“To talk to Lilja. Why does my communication button track me?”
“They track everyone. How do you think the messengers always know where to find everyone?”
I picked at the edge of the button. “How do they work? Do you know?”
He shrugged. “Not really. Something to do with a stone inside them. Ask Hesta.”
The Senior Technician.
“The door we came through,” I said. “I like the patterns on it.”
Faran raised his brows. “Oh. They’re a map of the labyrinth. The pattern is all over the walls in here, but most of them are hidden by plants. What did you talk to Lilja about?”
I told him. Well, most of it. I missed out the plans for me leaving The Realm through the Hidden Gate.
Faran turned and swirled his fingers through the water in the fountain. “Lilja’s in trouble. She’s taken off her communications button – which isn’t an offence as such – but she’s hiding. Mathas is livid.”
“What will happen to her?”
“Depends on how quickly she reappears. She’ll probably face charges of insubordination, but then again, she hasn’t broken any direct orders. Apart from mine, but I’m not going to tell anyone that.” He breathed deeply, eyeing me. “I know you’re thinking of going Outside – before I’m scheduled to go.”
Time to change the topic. “Do you remember my birthday here? I got drunk on wine you’d managed to charm out of the kitchen staff.”
“Of course I remember. I’m amazed you do.”
“Yeah, well, quite a lot of stuff’s coming back to me. You threw me in the fountain.”
“Mm. You were very drunk. It sobered you up!”
“Any chance you can go and charm the kitchen staff again? Beer rather than wine. If not, I know which storeroom the beer’s in. C20-C13B1.”
He gave me an exasperated look. “I am not about to steal beer for us. Wait here. I’ll see if I can get any.”
“The kitchen staff will give you some? Without needing a special form?”
He winked. “One of the perks of being Elected Successor.”
He left me at the fountain, returning a few minutes later with an armful of beer bottles. He put most of them in the edge of the fountain, opened two using his knife and handed one to me. I sipped it. It was delicious. I squinted up at him. “Thank you.”
He rested his hips against the fountain and crossed his ankles. “When did you start drinking beer? You never used to.”
“I never used to do a lot of things that I do now. Well, did. I guess I’ll not be doing them again.”
“Do you miss Outside?”
I took a long gulp of beer, savouring it. Finn would have loved it. “Yes.”
He tipped his head to one side. “Do you want to talk to me about it?”
“No. I want to get blind drunk and try to forget. It’s gone. All of it. I need to move on. Try to have one good evening with you before you also get slaughtered.”
Or I did. I moved to peer into the fountain. Faran turned and slid his hand around my waist, drawing me against him. I finished my beer and reached in to get a second one, passing it over for him to open.
“You really will get drunk if you have this one as quickly as the last,” he scolded, flipping the cap off it with his knife and handing it back. He’d drunk less than a third of his.
“I’m relying on you carrying me back to our quarters and putting me to bed.”
“Think again. I’d throw you in the water, lik
e I did last time.” He leaned against the fountain again, eyeing me. “What do you draw?”
“People mostly. Other things if I have to. My job would have been drawing other things. Doesn’t matter. It’s not a useful skill for a Guardian. The sword is still mightier than the pen here.”
I hunched my shoulders, leaning on my elbows. He wouldn’t know the real quote anyway.
“Will you draw me?” he asked quietly. “Properly. I know you’ve drawn a small picture of me in the book.”
I smiled. “Yeah. I guess it had better be tonight though. In case you don’t come back.”
“I will come back. Lilja is very junior.” He sipped his beer. “You seem sad talking about Outside.”
I rubbed a hand through my hair and over my neck. “Sorry. I’m horrible company tonight. Feel free to leave me here.”
A lazy smile settled on his lips. “And go where? To our empty rooms? To my parents? My mother will criticise me for not divorcing you; my father will talk business. Or tell me to give you a good hiding every night and thrash some respect into you.”
I trailed my fingers through the water. “Lady Morgan would no doubt entertain you.”
He snorted. “I have no desire to be entertained by her… Slow down with the beer.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.” I stared at him defiantly and sank another long gulp.
He sighed. “Please? I can’t carry you back and put you to bed. It would be a scandal.”
In all honesty, the beer had already made me slightly fuzzy. I glanced around. “Can we sit down?”
He tipped his head towards the high hedges to our left. Almost hidden in the foliage was a seat. I sat next to him and fiddled with the bottle, blowing across the top of it and making him roll his eyes at me.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Talk to Faran. He’ll go with you.” That’s what Lilja had said.
Would he?
“I’m just lost,” I said. “And a bit drunk. And scared that Lilja is right and that if I don’t leave, you and Cerewen and Lord Sondan will all get killed Outside. How would The Realm even know? How long after you go out do I start to worry? An hour here is two and a half days there. A lot can happen in two and a half days. If you’re killed and people Outside find your body, they’ll take it away and put it in a fridge and no one here would ever know where you were.”
I looked up at him, yearning to hear him say he’d go Outside with me. But he didn’t.
“I will come back,” he whispered.
Tears nipped my eyes. Faran took my beer and scooped me on to his lap, his arms encircling me. I craved comfort and nuzzled my face into his neck, worming my arms around his waist. He locked his hands at my hips.
“I did say I was horrible company.” His skin muffled my words.
“I’m sitting in a quiet place with the woman I love in my arms. If she was happy too, it would be perfect.”
I moved so that I could see him. The shadows under his eyes seemed darker.
“I’m sorry. I remember so much of what we had, and it was amazing. But it’s a memory.” I sighed. “I’m the opposite of where you are. My head knows it was great but my heart isn’t ready yet.”
“I know.” He smiled ruefully.
My focus drifted out to the fountain. The lights caught the droplets, giving the illusion that the flow wasn’t continuous. Would I manage to get away? If I didn’t and Aegyir killed Faran, would I ever forgive myself, whichever side of the portal I ended up on? Finn was dead because of me. So was Sarah, my best friend; and Rick, Finn’s best friend. How many more?
I realised I’d been staring into space and wasn’t sure for how long. I met Faran’s eyes, wondering if my heart would ever get the chance to heal enough to let him in, or if he’d put on his new Outside clothes, leave The Realm and I’d never see him again.
“Kiss me?” he whispered, his brows quirked up in the middle.
He brushed his finger under my chin and touched his mouth to mine. He tasted of beer. I caught my breath as he moved to kiss my neck. His lips were firm against my skin and his teeth nipped gently. I squirmed. “We should go back.”
He leaned back, failing to hide his frustration. There were still two bottles of beer in the fountain and Faran stashed them under the bench before catching my hand. We walked back through the labyrinth to the main building in thick silence.
19
In our rooms, I peeled my jacket off and threw it over the back of a chair.
“I get the feeling your father genuinely wants me dead.”
Faran scrunched his face up. “He wants you to be a trustworthy Guardian. What happened… was terrible. When you talk about the Guardians the way you did tonight… when you hanker after Outside as much as you do… he finds it hard to see you as a loyal Guardian.”
“Which is why he wants me on the front line.” I rubbed my hair. Yeah, if I was Lord Eredan, I’d be less than enamoured with me. “Will your father accept me as First Lady? If we ever get there.”
Faran scoffed. “He would have to be dead for it to happen so I don’t think he’d be able to say anything.”
I laughed, despite myself, relieved to see a sparkle in Faran’s eye at last.
“And your mother?”
He shook his head. “I’m working on her.”
“Well, even Outside, mothers rarely like their daughters-in-law.”
He grinned.
“Can I draw you then? It’s always been my way of calming my brain and you said you wanted me to.”
His face filled with happiness and his posture softened. “I would love it if you drew me. What do I need to do?”
“Just sit still.”
“Where? Out here?”
“You’d be comfier sitting on the bed.”
The bed had been made by the same invisible people who took all our laundry away and brought it back clean and hung it in our closets. Faran took his jacket off and looked questioningly at me.
“How long can you sit still without seizing up?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I don’t sit still very often.”
I grinned. “Okay. Sit on the bed, but with your knees bent and your elbows on them?” He sat, and I posed him. “You can look off to the side if you want.”
He didn’t, he looked straight at me with a confidence even Finn hadn’t had in all the times I’d drawn him. I sketched awkwardly, still needing to adapt to the fact I was missing my little finger. Faran sat perfectly motionless for me.
“We can talk if you want,” I said. “Until I do the detail on your face.”
“Can we talk about tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
“Where do you think Aegyir is? Based on what Lilja said.”
I stopped sketching and looked at him. “So, Lilja can be right about his location, but wrong about you getting slaughtered?”
He didn’t answer. I concentrated on the line of his shoulder, shading to emphasise his muscles.
“What did Lilja say?” he asked softly.
“Well, she described a place that’s only a short distance from the portal. Maybe a couple of hours’ walk if you knew the way. But he might not be there. I’m hoping new newspapers from the Scouts in the morning will help me pinpoint where he is. Though by the time I read them, another week or so will have passed.”
“You said it would be cold Outside,” said Faran. “How cold? What’s the climate like Outside?”
I told him, explaining the seasons and the weather and the fact that towns and cities Outside weren’t enclosed the way this city was. We chatted about Outside and I tried to coach him on his English while I sketched. His pronunciation was improving, but it took him at least two attempts to understand what was being said to him, and he too frequently fell back on saying he was a tourist who had no English. Which was understandable, but not much use for finding out information on Aegyir. The irritation in his face told me that he knew how lousy he was.
“Sorry, but you have to stop talk
ing now while I draw your face.”
Only the sound of my pencil on the paper broke the silence while I concentrated on my drawing.
“Okay. I’ve done your head and shoulders now. Do you need to move?”
He shook his head slightly.
“Have you and Orian always fought?” I asked.
“No. Only since I became Elected Successor.”
I tipped my head, seeking more explanation. Faran stared at me for a moment before answering. “He thinks I’ve stolen everything that was rightfully his. I’m the younger brother. He expected to remain Elected Successor. He expected to marry you.”
I didn’t have any siblings, but I could imagine how angry I would be if my sister had taken a job I thought was mine, and had nicked my boyfriend. Here, where life was so dictated by rank… it must be a thousand times worse.
“I can see why he feels thwarted by you. When was he Elected Successor?”
“Before I came of age at twenty-one. But he’s not suitable. He doesn’t lead well. He’s not a good enough warrior. I came of age at the same time as the elections and the Council elected me rather than him. He served just one term.”
I digested the information slowly. “He told me he loves me. That he wanted to marry me because of that.”
Faran snorted. “He wanted to marry you because he’s older and because you’re the most senior woman in The Realm.”
I still couldn’t get my head around marriage being for power, rather than love. Were women only valued for their position? Lilja hadn’t married the man she loved, and although she seemed content, she would have been happier with her first choice.
“Would I have got a say in it?” I asked.
“You did. You chose me. Your father thought I was a better prospect than Orian, even though Orian was still Elected Successor at the time.” Cool green eyes regarded me. “Are you regretting your choice?”