by Amanda Fleet
Aegyir leaned in close. “I will have what you promised me.”
He punched me in the face again. I was losing the ability to move my hands, but I slammed at him with my arms. Too slow. My legs buckled underneath me and I collapsed like a house of cards. I tried to scrabble away from him, but I couldn’t move. Panic rippled through me. Was I ever going to be able to move properly again?
He crouched next to me and grasped my face, forcing my mouth open again. I could do nothing except watch as he drew a knife slowly across his hand.
“Three drops.” He smiled serenely. “To take your soul and make you mine.”
He held his hand above my mouth and a black blob hit my tongue. It tasted metallic, and I tried to gag, my throat muscles barely twitching. Two more drops landed and Aegyir closed my mouth.
He smiled sweetly, then kicked me so savagely, my ribs cracked. A second kick flipped me over so I was face-down. He crouched next to me and rolled me on to my back, his claw-like hand at the waistband of my trousers, yanking them down, along with my shorts. “Oh, Aeron. I’ve been dreaming of this. What was it you said to Faran? That you wanted as much wood as he could carry? Then I have plenty of time to take what was promised.”
Oh, Christ. This monster was going to rape me. I tried to scream but only a slight gurgle emerged. Panic almost overwhelmed me, fear flooding every cell.
“Faran. Come back. Help me!” I bellowed the words – in my head.
My breathing hardly shifted any air. Would the poison kill me? That would be a blessed relief right now.
“I’d rather you’d given yourself freely. But I’ll always take what is mine, Aeron.”
He grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and hurled me on to the table, smacking my face and chest into the scrubbed surface and keeping steady pressure on my neck to pin me there. This was exactly the scenario Faran had made me practise with him. Every fibre of me screamed at me to fight him, but, helpless as a rag doll, I could do nothing. I couldn’t even weep.
Behind me, Aegyir fumbled at his crotch, his hands brushing me. He wrenched my trousers and shorts lower and terror ripped through me.
The door opened. Faran roared as he erupted into the bothy, and my heart soared at his return. Aegyir snarled, letting go of me and stepping back. I slithered to the floor, my head bouncing on the edge of the table as I went down. My breathing stopped completely.
The armful of wood that Faran held, clattered to the floor. “Aeron!”
Faran pounded towards Aegyir, cannoning into him and slamming him against the wall. Was Faran going to suffer the same fate as Finn? Would he rush in to protect me, only for Aegyir to reach into his chest and pluck out all of his life? I prayed Aegyir wasn’t strong enough to do that.
The edges of my vision started to grey. Would I die before Faran learned the awful news that Aegyir had corrupted me? I hoped so.
“A choice for you, Faran,” said Aegyir, seeming impervious to the punches Faran landed on him. “Your darling wife can’t breathe. You can fight me, or you can breathe for her and save her, but you can’t do both. Your choice.”
Faran held Aegyir by his neck and shot a desperate look at me. “Aeron?”
“Oh, she can’t speak or she’d have screamed for help when I took what was owed to me.”
Faran’s eyes travelled over me, pausing on where my trousers were, his eyes wide.
“I think it must be almost two minutes now since she took a breath.” Aegyir slammed free from Faran and headed towards the door. “Her heart still works. But she’ll suffocate to death if you leave her.”
Faran hesitated, his eyes flicking from me to Aegyir.
“Take him, you idiot! Fill him with knives. Drag him back to The Realm!”
But nothing emerged from my mouth, not even a breath.
Cold air washed over me then the door closed again. Faran knelt beside me. “Aeron?” He tipped my head back, pinched my nose and breathed into my mouth. My eyes were raspy, and I used the last bit of muscle strength I had to close them.
“Go after him!”
Faran breathed for me again. “Aeron?” His hand rummaged at my neck, searching for a pulse. “Aeron, don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me. I need you.”
Terror filled me. Having closed my eyes, I couldn’t open them again. Was the paralysis permanent? Would I ever be able to breathe or move again? I’d rather die than stay like this.
Another donated breath. He brushed my hair back and stroked my bruised face. “Stay with me. Please.”
It was his duty to The Realm to chase Aegyir. Why was he still here? Was Aegyir strong enough to kill him?
Don’t let me lose Faran too.
His breath filled my chest again. He hitched my shorts and trousers back up, then breathed for me. Soft kisses dusted my eyelids, my bruises, my lips. Something splashed my skin. His tears? From the snuffle in his breathing, I thought so.
Another breath, then I heard sounds by the door. He returned swiftly to breathe for me, then I heard the stove door open and the soft sounds of a log being added. A waft of wood smoke filled the room, and he was back.
“Aeron, come on. Please.”
My chest rose with his breath. I wanted to scream. I wanted him to leave me and go after Aegyir; drag him to The Realm. I didn’t care that I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t care that if Faran left me, I would die. I had lost. Aegyir had taken Finn from me and now he’d taken any life I might have had in The Realm. I could never go back there. Lord Eredan would have me hanged, and even if by some miracle he didn’t, Faran – Elected Successor – could never stay married to a woman with Aegyir’s blood in her.
He pressed a kiss to my lips. Between breaths, he reminisced, his voice thick with emotion.
“I loved you from the moment you left me in a heap in the training room. I was sixteen. You were fourteen. All the other kids were scared.” He snorted. “Of Father, more than of me. You? You kicked my arse that morning and laughed while you did it, and I thought, if I ever have to go into battle, I want this woman by my side.”
I could remember the day. He’d pissed me off about something too trivial to recall and I’d lost it with him. I’d expected to get thoroughly trounced in retaliation, but he’d brushed himself off and looked at me with eyes full of admiration.
My heart cracked. I had loved Faran as much as I’d loved Finn.
Another wet splash on my face before he kissed it away. “Oh, do you remember Sondan after our wedding?” he said, a laugh in his voice that couldn’t hide the fact he was crying. “He was all over your sister. I thought she was going to punch him! Or that Danmar would.” He stroked my hair. “She was terrible as your matron of honour. She dropped your flowers and forgot to write a speech.”
Cia, my older sister, who’d married Danmar the year before Faran and I had wed. Both killed by Aegyir when he stormed The Realm, along with my little brother, Torfan, and my parents. More deaths to lay at my door.
“Do you remember that meeting with the marriage adviser? A week after the wedding? She was supposed to have given us tips on how to have a good sex life, but we’d already tried everything she suggested.”
I wanted to laugh. The meeting had been excruciating, with a booklet of positions to try, and advice on how to ensure both parties enjoyed the experience. I’d almost succumbed to an attack of giggles and Faran had been the colour of a beetroot throughout.
He said nothing for a few minutes, breathing for me and playing with my fingers. The area around my eyes had pins and needles. I tried to open my eyes and my eyelids fluttered. I still couldn’t breathe or speak, but the elation I felt at being able to move anything overwhelmed me.
“Aeron?” Faran touched his hand against my chest, but it stubbornly refused to rise. He breathed for me again.
After another few minutes, I could move my mouth, tongue and throat. I exhaled donated air. “Let…”
“Sh. Sh.” He pressed his lips to mine again, his breath filling my chest.
“
Let me…” I closed my eyes in frustration.
He stroked my face. “What? Let you what?” He breathed for me again.
“Die.”
My muscles were steadily coming back to life and fairly soon, I was going to have to tell him that I was Aegyir’s slave. Better he let me die now, than see me swinging from a rope.
“What? No.” His voice snagged on the words, full of confusion.
“Please. Let me die.” I still could only speak with his breath.
A tear splashed my cheek. “No.”
I opened my eyes again, despair welling in me. “I’m Aegyir’s slave. Leave me to die. Get Aegyir.”
“I can’t. I love you. Please. Stop saying that.”
I said nothing for a few minutes, my heart breaking at the anguish in his eyes.
Faran bit his lips together, his gaze drifting over my body. “Did…” He swallowed. “Did he violate you?”
“No.”
His breath shuddered as he filled my lungs. “Can you feel anything yet?”
“I can feel everything.” I waited for another breath. “It’s movement that’s the problem.”
“Where are you hurt? What can I do?”
“Nothing. I can’t manage salve.”
The searing pain of healing was more than I could bear in this state. Even the thought of it sent cold horror through me.
He scrubbed his hands over his face. “I shouldn’t have left you. I should have been here. I swore to protect you.”
“You did as you were told.”
I closed my eyes. How different things would have been if I hadn’t sent him off to get wood. I’d tried to give him space because he was hurt. How long would he blame himself for what had happened?
Between breaths, he fetched a bowl of water and a cloth, and cleaned the blood off my face. His tears hit my skin as he returned to fill my lungs again and again. If I’d had any doubts over how much he loved me, they were extinguished now. He would indeed have walked over white-hot coals for me. I also knew how dearly I loved him. And that I could never have him. Not now. The knowledge crushed me.
“He made me take his blood,” I said, after a breath. Tears gathered in my eyes.
“Sh.”
With the next two lungfuls, I allowed screams to escape, and he kissed my eyes closed. Another few minutes crawled past but then my chest rose a fraction under my own volition. Not enough to allow me to survive unaided but enough to make my heart soar with bitter relief. Faran’s hand still rested lightly on my chest. “You can breathe?”
“Barely.”
A few minutes later, I could manage a full breath by myself. Faran hooked his arm under my knees, lifting me into his lap. “Where are you hurt?”
“Face. Ribs. Back.”
“Let me put salve on? Though it may not work after this amount of time.”
He unbuttoned my jacket and slid it off my shoulders before hunting for bruises. He smeared a little salve on me and I yelped with the pain.
“I know. Come here.”
He cuddled me against him, rocking me gently until the waves of pain subsided. Bit by bit, he attended to all of my injuries, holding me close each time. Healed, at least physically, I pulled my jacket on and tucked back against him. I had to talk to him. He needed to face up to what had happened.
“Mathas was right.” I met his eye. “I am a traitor now. And I have nothing. No life here. No job, nowhere to live… nothing. Aegyir can’t kill me but he’ll rape and torture me if I stay here.”
“We’ll return to The Realm. We’ll take Aegyir back with us. Father won’t be able to try you as a traitor if you help to defeat Aegyir.”
“Go after him!”
Faran looked at me, his head on one side. “No wonder you cannot win at Capture The King! It is pitch dark out there, I don’t know my way around even in the light, and he has a significant head start on me. And there’s no way I would leave you here alone.”
“I have Aegyir’s blood in me.” Despair crushed me. “You should have gone after him and let me die.”
He bit his lip, emotion flushing his face. “If you’d been in my position and it was Finn that couldn’t breathe, could you have sat back and let him suffocate?”
Of course I couldn’t have, but that made me no less damned.
My gaze crawled over him, my heart full of pain. “What, you couldn’t bear to let me die because you’d lose me? How do you think you can have me now, Elected Successor? You’ll never be allowed to be with me. I can never return to The Realm.”
His arms tightened around me. “If you can’t be with me in The Realm, then there’s no future for me there either. I’ll stay here, Outside. I cannot lose you again.”
Would he turn his back on The Realm for me? Given different circumstances, would I turn my back on Earth for him? I may have said I had nothing out here, but I still had family. I could still prove who I was. I could move far away from here, start a new life… With a jolt, I realised that if it wasn’t for Faran, I would do just that. Run. Hide. Let Aegyir attack The Realm. That was Aegyir’s main goal. I was only a side-dish on the way.
But there was Faran. And I didn’t want to leave him. How long could we last out here? What would Faran do? I couldn’t imagine him being anything other than the best warrior in The Realm – hardly the largest range of transferable skills.
He stroked my hair back, and I rested my forehead against his neck. “I don’t want to lose you, either. I just don’t see a way out.”
“Do you feel like his vassal?” he asked after many minutes. I paused. Good question.
“No. I still hate him. I still want to defeat him. Even more than before.”
“Would you tell me if you didn’t?”
Ah. How to convince him that I could answer that honestly?
“I would, but even if I were to swear on your life that I’m telling you the truth right now, you’d be a fool to believe me, given the circumstances. And who else’s life could I swear on? Finn’s already dead.”
He rested his chin on the top of my head. “Do you think the talisman is stopping it working?”
“Maybe. Or maybe you can never trust me again.”
How the hell could we build a life together without trust? Whether we stayed Outside or found a way to return to The Realm, we couldn’t live with him always looking sideways at me, wondering when the next betrayal would happen.
He caught me by the wrist and held my arm out to draw one of his myriad blades across my forearm. The blade skittered, making no mark.
“It would seem that you are still a true Guardian.” He smiled, resheathing the blade.
Somehow, I didn’t feel like celebrating. “I don’t think your father will run with that.”
He tucked me back against his body. “Is there a way to reverse it?”
I rubbed my cheek against his shoulder, hope trying to blossom. “The book Lilja left me implied that the connection would be broken if the demon was returned to a wraith and trapped.”
“Then we kill Aegyir and trap him.”
I tipped my head back. “That involves him not killing us before we can get him to The Realm. Do you think he’ll come back here?”
“The door’s barred at the moment. He can’t get in.”
That explained some of the noises I’d heard when I couldn’t open my eyes.
“Okay. Well, we have enough blades here to be able to weaken Aegyir, don’t we?” I said. “If he comes back, we’ll stab him and take him back to The Realm. And if he doesn’t come back, we’ll go and find him.”
He stared at the glowing embers in the stove, saying nothing for a long time. I rubbed the back of his hand. “What are you thinking?”
His face cleared. “I’m worried that Aegyir is setting a trap, and I can’t see what it is. He would know the talisman protected you, so why did he make you take his blood?”
“Maybe he needs me never to be able to take off the talisman. Maybe he thinks it’s now impossible for us to retu
rn to The Realm and without us, the triad can’t be formed. Not with other Guardians if we’re still alive. And without a third Guardian here along with some Realm soil, we can’t defeat him Outside, either.” I pulled free of him. “Let’s get something to eat. I don’t know about you, but I’m starving.”
I got up and put another log in the stove, then reached up for one of the pans. I eyed Faran.
“How hungry are you? Can I just say now, that this won’t be up to Realm standards.”
He smiled. “Why should it be? You’re a Guardian, not a cook.”
“Actually, I’m a good cook, but I had no money to get anything like Realm food. Or even decent Outside food.”
To the best of my memories, The Realm had nothing even remotely resembling baked beans with sausages. I held up the tins. “Do you want one or two of these? It’ll be served on bread.”
He screwed his eyes up, peering at the label. “Er. One. When do we get to eat the honey?”
I laughed. “On more bread, afterwards.”
I looked at the label on the beans. A whole can would only provide a quarter of a normal person’s calories, with the bread only adding a bit more. Maybe I could fill him up with bread and honey. Or make him some porridge for supper. With more honey.
I tipped the contents of two cans into the pan and set it on top of the stove. Despite a table surviving in the bothy, there were no chairs, so we’d have to sit on the floor to eat. While dinner heated up, I retrieved a couple of plates and some cutlery from the cupboard, then balanced some slices of bread on the stove to toast.
“Is there any water?” asked Faran.
I grimaced. “Damn! I meant to boil some. There is a water pump, but I’d rather boil it to be sure.”
Faran frowned. “Why?”
“To kill any germs in it. Jeez, you really have had a sheltered life, haven’t you?”