Prima Mate

by Tabitha Black

  “That’s fine. This can wait.” He set the tray down on the night stand. He was wearing his suit pants and nothing else, and the huge muscles in his back rippled with his movements. Clara blinked and looked away, her mouth suddenly dry.

  “Actually, I might have some water first,” she said.

  “Your body could probably use it. I drank three glasses the moment I got up,” he said, handing her the water.

  Clara gulped it down greedily, then gave the empty glass back to him. “Thank you.” Now that he was closer, she could see the purple smudges beneath his eyes. “Did you sleep at all?”

  He shrugged. “Not really. It’s all right, though. I’m taking the day off work.”

  It was then that she realized she didn’t even know what he did for a living. The whole situation suddenly seemed so ridiculous that a giggle started in her chest and burst out of her mouth before she could stop it. Clara clapped her hand to her lips to suppress the sudden hysterical laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” He was glowering now.

  “I just realized I don’t even know where you work. I don’t know how old you are. Anything about your parents. Brothers or sisters. I know almost nothing about you.” Her fingers went to the bandage at her neck. “You’ve claimed me as your mate, and all I know is your name!” She looked down, and her next giggle turned into a sob. “And I’m naked!”

  Setting the glass down, Evander took her into his arms, the heat from his body radiating through her skin. “It’s a lot to take in, I know,” he said. “But this will all work out for the best, you’ll see. One step at a time. You’ll feel better after a shower and some food. Then we can talk about everything and work out how to move forward from here.”

  Clara closed her eyes, hating and loving the way his scent and the tenor of his voice both soothed and aroused her.

  I’m losing it, she thought dimly. Cracking up. I no longer know what to think or how to feel. While a part of her wanted to shove him away and yell at him to leave her alone, another part relished being in his arms and craved his scent, his taste, his touch.

  “You’re right,” she said at length. “I’ll feel better after a shower.” Reluctantly, she left the warm cocoon of his body and entered the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

  The water—as hot as she could stand it—felt delicious on her skin, and Clara stood under the stream for a long time, closing her eyes and wishing she could wash away her worries as easily as she could wash her body.

  She, too, would call in sick to work today, she decided. There was no way she’d be able to concentrate on anything—

  The gauze with which Evander had dressed her wound, now swollen with water, slid off her skin and landed on the tiles with a wet thud, and as the shower stream washed over her bite, the intense burning sensation returned, cruelly reminding Clara that she was now a marked woman.

  Literally.

  Only Omegas were claimed with a bite. Betas declared their intent to stay together for life with a legal ceremony conducted in front of family and friends. Alphas did the biting.

  Omegas wore the scars.

  No matter what happened, Clara would forever be reminded, every time she looked in the mirror, of Evander.

  And, worse still, her cover—the ruse she had so carefully built and cultivated for so many years—was blown. The bite left a distinctive scar, it wasn’t something she could ever realistically pass off as anything else.

  Letting out a low moan, Clara thunked her forehead against the cool tiles, her eyes again filling with tears.

  Evander had ruined everything.

  And she didn’t think she could ever forgive him, even if she wanted to.

  For the first time in his life, Evander felt helpless, unsure how to proceed.

  He hated it.

  “Claim her,” Arius had said, “then she’ll have no choice but to stay with you.”

  And Evander had done so, not stopping to consider all the potential ramifications. Not anticipating that giving her the bite which would bind her to him forever would put a whole new expression in her stunning green eyes—an expression which felt like a punch to the gut every time he looked at it.

  Clara had been in the bathroom so long that, if the room had had a window, he might have reasonably suspected she’d used it to escape. But there was no window, and anyway, this was her apartment. Where would she flee to?

  Evander hadn’t lied when he’d told her he’d barely slept. He’d purred until she’d fallen asleep and for quite a while thereafter, amazed and gratified by how easily and completely that simple act had soothed her. Arius had told him as much, though he hadn’t quite believed it. He’d tried purring for a woman once before, an Alpha he’d slept with a long time ago, but it hadn’t affected her in the slightest. Instead, she’d given him a disdainful stare and snapped, “What am I supposed to do now? Purr back? That shit only works on Omegas, you fool.”

  Evander hadn’t bothered meeting her again. He hadn’t purred again either… until now.

  Listening to the steady sounds of Clara’s breathing, he’d held her close, enjoying the warmth radiating from her satiny skin, inhaling the heady concoction of their combined scents, and replaying the bite in his mind over and over again.

  Clara’s futile struggles. Her piercing scream—whether it was of pain, of shock, of outrage, he didn’t know. The coppery taste of her blood mingling with her slick and scent on his tongue, an explosive cocktail which had eclipsed anything he’d ever felt before.

  Would he do it again, even knowing it would put that haunted, devastated look in Clara’s eyes?

  He hated to admit it, even to himself, but Evander knew that the honest answer was yes, he would do it again. He’d had no choice. Even hurting her was better than being without her.

  After a long while, he’d dozed off, but woken again shortly thereafter. Unable to get back to sleep, he’d gently extricated himself from Clara’s sleeping form and gone to her kitchen to find water and something to eat. Then, to distract himself from the livid red semicircles on her pale skin—and possibly to help soften the shock when she awoke—he’d unearthed a first aid kit in her bathroom and covered her bite mark.

  Utterly exhausted but still too keyed up to sleep, he’d then taken a long, hot shower and put his suit pants back on before putting together a tray for his mate when she woke up.

  My mate.

  Two words he had dreamed of being able to say for his entire adult life, but even when he spoke them aloud, they felt hollow and fake, as if he were lying to himself.

  Clara emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a huge blue towel, her long, wet hair dripping over her pale shoulders. She’d removed the gauze and Evander’s eyes were immediately drawn to his handiwork; the bite had begun to crust over.

  Going to her closet, she withdrew a shapeless pink dress and tugged it over her head before picking up the tray of food he’d prepared for her and sitting down on the bed with it.

  “Did the shower help some?” Evander was somehow desperate to fill the tense silence.

  “A little.” She picked up a piece of cheese and began to nibble it.

  This new, subdued, quiet Clara was somehow even worse than the haughty, fiery-tempered one.

  With emotions roiling within him like a stormy sea, Evander perched on the other side of the bed. It was like he had two opposing factions warring within him—the empathetic gentleman, who wanted to do anything to make her happy, even if that entailed leaving her apartment for a while and giving her some space (which was the last thing he wanted to do), and the angry beast, who kept insisting that he’d done the right thing, that she belonged to him now, and that it was unfair of her to behave as though he’d done anything wrong when he’d merely followed his instincts.

  He cleared his throat. “Clara—”

  “Don’t talk to me right now!” she interrupted him furiously, her eyes flashing. It was almost a relief to see the fire return within her. “In fact, I’d very much apprec
iate it if you’d leave. Just go.”

  Even though he’d been expecting her to react this way, her words wounded him. They also antagonized the beast within. “I’m not going anywhere,” he snarled. “And besides, what do you think that would achieve? Do you really believe things can go back to how they were?” It was a low blow, he knew it even as he said it, but guilt and anger were a toxic combination.

  Her entire expression changed at his words. Her shoulders slumped and that haunted look re-entered her eyes. She set the tray aside and folded her hands very carefully and deliberately in her lap. “No,” she muttered. “You’re right. Things will never go back to how they were.”

  All he wanted to do was scoop her into his arms and comfort her but something told him it would be prudent to maintain a little distance, if only physical, if only for a short while. Evander clenched his fists and stared at the red and gold rug until the pattern blurred and began to dance. “You left me no choice,” he said at last. “You kept trying to push me away. I know I hurt you, and believe me, I am sorry it came to that. But I know with every ounce of my being that we’re meant to be together.”

  “So you decided to force the issue.” Her voice was quiet. Resigned. Defeated.

  “As was my right as an Alpha!” he snapped. Then, trying a different tack, “Sweetness, I know you’ve spent the last several years living as an Alpha, maybe even feeling like one, but you’re an Omega. There’s a crucial difference. You can’t deny who you are. Not to me. Not to yourself. And even though you might not see it now, you can never be truly happy until you accept the real you. The real you who isn’t being suppressed by medication. Who isn’t hiding from everybody.”

  She let out a sob at that, and a tear slipped down her cheek. It damn near broke his heart. “How would you know? You can’t possibly imagine what my life is like. What it’s like to be in my shoes.”

  “Maybe not, but I see you, Clara. I see you when you’re at a society function, with your expensive clothes, jewels, and icy demeanor. You push everybody away because you’re wearing a mask. But when you’re alone with me, the mask comes off. You’re sweet, kind—”

  “A slave to my hormones!” she interrupted him furiously. “That’s all I am when I’m with you! Even now, even when I’m exhausted and my whole body aches, when I’m so hurt and betrayed by what you’ve done that I can hardly bear to look at you, I’m craving your touch! Nothing has ever made me feel so torn, and I hate it!”

  Evander could stand it no longer. With one swift movement, he was by her side, pulling her into his arms, resting her head against his chest. To his astonishment, she didn’t resist, allowing him to cradle her. “You believe it’s just the hormones,” he said, “but have you considered what’s behind them? Surely you know better than anyone that our body sends us signals for what we need—sleep, nourishment, movement. The hormones you so despise are simply your body telling you that you need to be with me. That it isn’t good or fair for you to be alone all the time. We’re social creatures, and we need mates. Alphas, Betas, and especially Omegas, cannot live without a partner. It drives them insane in the end. Look at Deimos.”

  The former king had spent his entire life fruitlessly searching for his Omega. It was widely accepted that his inability to find a mate was one of the main causes of his madness.

  “He was born insane,” Clara said. “And I’m not alone. I have friends, my work, my father…” She trailed off, as if realizing how pathetic that all sounded.

  “You have a social circle, that’s true. But you go to sleep alone, you wake up alone. You eat alone. If something bad happens, you have no one to turn to for comfort. If something good happens, you have no one to share your joy. It was the same for me before I met you.”

  She remained silent but made no move to withdraw from him. Evander considered that a good sign.

  “I hated hurting you with the bite, but I knew that if I didn’t do it, I’d be hurting you more in the end. And myself, as well. So I stand by my decision.” He stroked her still-damp hair, inhaling the pear scent which was becoming so familiar. “Besides, suppressants aren’t designed for long-term use. Would you really rather die than be with me?”

  There was a long, excruciating pause. Evander held his breath, wishing he hadn’t asked the question, unsure whether he wanted to hear the answer. Then, when it finally came, his heart was filled with such joy, he thought it might explode.

  “No. I like being with you. That’s half the problem.” She squeezed him tighter and her next sentence was muffled by his chest. “I like being with you too much. And that thought scares me to death.”

  Chapter Ten

  Nobody was more surprised than Clara when those words slipped out of her mouth. The truth was, despite all her efforts to convince herself otherwise, and despite what he had done, she really and truly did like Evander.

  She felt his arms stiffen around her and held her breath, wondering how he’d react.

  After an interminable pause, he replied, “I like you too. But I think you already knew that. And you know what?” He withdrew just enough that he could look into her face, and tilted her chin up so she was able to meet his dark blue eyes. “It’s a good thing. Look how we fit together. How we make each other feel. Well… when we’re not fighting.” The corner of his wide, generous mouth quirked up. “I genuinely believe this could be the beginning of something great, we just have to give it a chance. You saw Saskia and Arius last night?”

  She nodded.

  “But what you didn’t see was how things began between them. I witnessed it first hand and I have to say, it was rocky to start with. But look at them now! Wouldn’t you like to be that happy? I know I would.”

  Clara looked away. “I just… I think it’s different for us. What you did… my feelings about that aside, it’s changed everything for me now. I can’t go in to work like this. I can’t let my father see the mark! He’d kill me. Or you. Not to mention the ramifications for my reputation as a whole, or what Arius would say if he knew.” She gazed back up to watch Evander’s expression. As she’d suspected, his eyebrows drew together and he gave a tiny, apologetic shrug.

  “He already knows.”

  Her suspicions confirmed, she decided not to let on that she’d guessed that little tidbit of information. “Really? And what did he say? Am I in trouble?”

  Evander had the grace to look sheepish. “No. Actually, he was the one who suggested I claim you.”

  “He… what?” She could barely believe what she was hearing. It had been Arius’s idea?

  “I think it was intentional,” Evander said hastily. “If our mating was under his orders…”

  “He would be in no position to punish me for it? Is that what you think?”

  Evander sighed. “There’s more to it than that. I don’t want to go into it right now. But no, I can confirm that you won’t suffer any legal ramifications for having lived as an Alpha.”

  Somehow, even though she knew she should feel some relief for that small mercy, Clara didn’t feel much better for hearing it confirmed. “I guess that’s something,” she said icily, “but that still leaves me with my career, my friends, my father… and what about you? Won’t you be ostracized for taking up with a charlatan?”

  He let out a snort. “I’ve never cared much what people think of me. I take what I want.”

  “So I’ve noticed,” she couldn’t resist snapping back.

  Instead of getting angry, he raised his eyes to the heavens in a gesture of resignation. “Please,” he said, “can we drop the attitude? Just for a little while? It’s getting very tiresome and it won’t change anything. I think we’d be better served if we worked out what to do, at least for the time being, until we have a more concrete plan.”

  “What can I do? I have exactly one option: to go into hiding.”

  They both jumped as her telephone rang. Clara glanced at the clock and grimaced—she should be getting ready to leave for work and hadn’t even called in yet.
/>   “I’d better get that.” Leaning over to her nightstand, she snatched up the receiver. “This is Clara.”

  “Honey? It’s me.” Her father. Clara felt her heart begin to race.

  “Hi. It’s early for you to be calling me! Is everything all right?”

  “Fine. I just wanted to know how it went last night. Your royal visit?”

  Clara took a deep breath and exhaled as silently as possible. “Oh, yes. I’m really sorry but we didn’t talk about you at all. I didn’t stay very long, you see, and—”

  “Gods, Clara, you had one instruction! You know that upstart has been avoiding me ever since his uncle passed on, and how much I’ve needed to get a foot in the door!”

  “I know,” she said, biting her lip, turning so Evander couldn’t see her expression. “I’m sorry, Father. There just wasn’t any real opportunity to mention you.”

  There was a thunderous silence on the other end of the line. Then, “I’m disappointed, Clara. Very disappointed.”

  “I know, and I’m—”

  The click of his disconnecting the call told her he’d hung up on her. “Shit,” she muttered, resisting the urge to hurl the phone across the room. “Like I didn’t have enough to worry about.”

  “Your father?” Evander asked.

  Clara nodded. “He’s desperate to get into Arius’s good books. I was supposed to help matters along when we went there for drinks last night.”

  Evander rolled his eyes. “It was unfair of him to put that on you, sweetness. He should do his own sucking up.”

  Despite herself, she giggled as she imagined herself telling Neros that. “He’ll calm down, I guess. In the meantime, I need to call work and tell them I can’t come in.”

  Evander nodded thoughtfully. “What are you going to tell them?”

  “That I’m sick.”

  “I think you should take a week off. At least. That will give us some time to come up with a plan.”

  That he referred to them as ‘us’ both warmed and frightened Clara, but she didn’t have the time or energy to examine that right now. “A whole week? I don’t think I’ve ever been off that long—at least, not with any kind of illness.”