The Wrath of Eli

by Lily Zante

  “She doesn’t think he took them. She thinks he got someone to take them. At your place, apparently.”

  My neck tenses. And then my face. I close my eyes and picture Gerry, the fucking king of douchebags, watching us. I know exactly what photos now. I warned Harper that he liked her.

  I warned her. The guy strikes me as a total pervert though, if he went to those lengths and, for the first time, I allow myself to feel sorry for Harper.

  “You know which photos?” My sister asks, reading my expression.

  I nod.

  “How bad were they?” It’s awkward being reminded of that event by my sister, even though she has no idea exactly what happened.

  “Bad for others to see.” I think of us sometimes. It’s impossible to completely shut away those moments in life which make us feel alive. I had those moments with Harper. With her, it wasn’t only the way in which she and I connected—sexually and physically—she made me feel good. With her, I no longer felt dirty. I’ve tried to push those times out of my mind, because she lost my trust, but now I’m forced to remember them again.

  She made me feel happy, and loved, and wanted. She made me feel the very things I’ve never felt in my entire life. I trusted her, I loved her, and she stabbed me in the back.

  “Eli?” Nina taps my hand. I stare up at her. “You okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You can’t hate her. She’s going through a tough time of her own. I’m not sticking up for her,” she says quickly, “but she’s a victim too. And she said she didn’t write that stuff. Gerry did.”

  “I know.”

  “She said she’d told you.”

  “She did.”

  “She thinks you and Athena are together.”

  I grunt.

  “I let her think that,” my sister says.

  Good. But I’m not sure now that I want her to believe the lie. I can’t quite erase the look on Harper’s face the day she saw Athena outside my place. It was kind of how she looked just now when we saw each other and I ignored her.

  Damn it, she’s crawling back under my skin, and I swore I wouldn’t let her.

  The betrayal, I remind myself. I can’t forgive her betrayal of my trust.

  “She’s thinking of leaving her job,” Nina says, as the diner starts to get busy. Another waitress appears, and Nina is content to let her run around after the customers.

  I raise an eyebrow. “She’ll find another job easily. Or her father will get her something. Women like her don’t need to work. She’ll be fine whatever happens.”

  “Her dad isn’t talking to her. He’s annoyed.”

  I take notice this time.

  Nina picks up her notepad and pencil, seeing that people are waiting at the tables. “I forgot to tell you, those photos? They were sent to her boss and to her dad. They’re both disgusted with her. She said she hasn’t seen or heard from her father since then and he won’t return her calls.” And with that bombshell, she moves to the table next to me to take their order.

  I flex my knuckles and wish I could take a swing at that loser Gerry. He really did have it out for Harper. He fucked us both over.

  I still blame Harper, but now I start to feel a little sorry for her. She was silly to trust the ginger dude. I have a gut instinct for people and situations, and I knew from the moment I saw Harper with him that he liked her. She never believed me, and that says a lot about her naiveté.

  I have a lot to think about.

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  HARPER

  * * *

  I decided to look for work, and I spent the past week sending out my resume to different places. I won’t tell Merv yet, but I made the decision the day I saw Nina at the diner. It was as I left and bumped into Eli; the way he cold-shouldered me cemented my decision.

  I decided to look for work out of state. As far from Chicago as I can get it, and I’ve been looking at jobs in New York or Boston.

  A new start will be good for me. There are too many memories of Eli in Chicago and I need to escape them. Eli has gone from being Chicago's New Hope to Chicago's Hero and his face is everywhere.

  How can I live in this city with his face plastered everywhere? How can I exist here knowing that he hates me so much?

  The following week, Nina calls and tells me that she has some of the money she owes me. She says I can come in and collect it when I'm next over that way.

  I decide to meet Ernesto for lunch there one day so that I can do both things at once.

  “Moving so soon?” Ernesto asks, when I tell him about my new plans. “You haven't even been in this new job for a year. What are you running away from?”

  “I’m not running away.”

  He eyes me as if he can see straight through my lies.

  “Time for a fresh start.” I play around with the salad on my plate.

  “A fresh start from who?”

  Smart man, that he knows it's a 'who' and not a 'what'.

  “I love New York,” I answer, not wanting to get into the exact details of why I'm running away.

  “You young people all seem to. Can’t see the appeal myself, but what do I know? But why the rush? Did you get fired?”

  I laugh. “I'm not that bad at my job.” He obviously must know about the article that Eli detests, but he's kind enough and wise enough not to bring it up.

  “What does your father think of your move?”

  I grit my teeth together. Ernesto doesn't know, and I'd rather not talk about the situation with my father right now. Ernesto would understand, but the subject is still so sore that I can't bear to mention it. “He understands.”

  Ernesto makes a ‘Hmmm’ sound in his throat, and before I can think of what to say next, Eli appears at our table.

  “Chicago's Hero honors us with his presence,” says Ernesto with a grin. He's being overly jokey, overly smiley, and the sudden change in his mood tells me he knows exactly why I'm leaving and who I'm running away from.

  “Mind if I interrupt?” Eli sounds almost polite. I try not to stare at his face, at the way he looks in his white T-shirt and sweatpants. I try not to think about the sexy tattoos on his body.

  “Too late, you already have,” says Ernesto and stands up before I can protest.

  “You don't have to go,” I say. He's finished his lunch, even though mine is mostly uneaten.

  “Lou’s probably found me something to fix while I’ve been at lunch,” he says, rolling his eyes. “And you need to finish your lunch, young lady. We'll meet again, maybe next week?”

  “Next week it is,” I tell him.

  I suggested we eat here because Nina was giving me the money, and maybe because I like hanging around the diner knowing that Eli could appear at any time, but now that he's actually at our table, I’m suddenly nervous.

  He slides into the booth and the shock of him sitting across from me again makes the breath stop in my throat.

  “Nina says she owes you some money.”

  This isn't what I was expecting. And it’s definitely not what my heart was expecting.

  “She's paid me.”

  “She's paying you in installments?”

  I don't see what this has to do with him, and I can't imagine Nina being too pleased that he's getting involved in her financial matters.

  “This is between me and Nina.”

  He frowns. “I offered to pay up, but she won't have it.”

  “That sounds about right for your sister.”

  “Yeah.”

  I quit playing around with my fork altogether and fold my arms. I sense that Eli might be trying to make conversation.

  I feel hopeful.

  “I heard about the photos.”

  Ah. So that's what he wants to talk about. “Nina told you.”

  He nods. “I warned you about Gerry.”

  “So you did.”

  “It’s not Merv who’s the Perv. It’s Gerry.”

  I agree with his statement. “He’s weird. Frustrated, I’d
say.”

  “What he did was sick.”

  “And twisted,” I add.

  “I hear you're looking to leave the paper.”

  “I'm looking elsewhere.” If I’m being deliberately cagey with my replies, it’s because I don’t know how I’m supposed to react. As always is the case with Eli, I never seem to know where I stand.

  He stares at me and it’s a little like how it was before; there is interest and curiosity behind that expression.

  “I heard about your dad. I'm sorry.”

  “I hate to think what went through his mind when he saw the photos. I'm giving him some space.”

  “I'm sorry the ginger dude did that to you.”

  “Me, too,” I reply. Why are we letting Gerry win? Why are we letting him ruin what we had? I don't say it out loud, but it's there, staring me right in the face. I wonder if Eli sees it, too.

  But if I had any hopes that he's going to forgive me, they're soon dashed. “Nina said Swain's dead.”

  A breath escapes my mouth. “He is,” I say slowly. I found out a few things about him during my research into Grampton House.

  “She said it was a hit and run.”

  “Yes, on a quiet street, but also...” I found something out from digging deeper, because it wasn't mentioned in the papers.

  “But also what?”

  I was going to tell Eli a few weeks after the fight, after the celebrations were over because I didn't want to taint his victory with news of Swain, but we never got to have our 'after'.

  “Tell me, Harper.”

  “His body was mutilated.”

  Eli blinks and his shoulders sag at my words. “Mutilated?”

  “Somebody shoved the broken ends of glass bottles into his face and genitals.”

  He slumps back in his seat, then closes his eyes. It seems he needs a moment to process this.

  I wish I could put my arms around him and help him through this, but I can’t. He won’t let me even if I tried, so I don’t.

  “I’m not sad,” he says when he opens his eyes. “The fucker deserved it.”

  I nod.

  “Did they ever find out who it was?”

  “No.”

  We sit in silence, and I wait and watch for what Eli will say next. I hadn't foreseen any of this; that I'd be sitting across the table from him today, or that we'd be talking about Swain of all people.

  But we're talking, and that counts for something.

  “I'm going to miss this place,” I say, in an effort to pull him out of whatever dark hole he’s slipped into. I don’t want him to dwell in memories of the past.

  “You can still come to the diner,” he says. “I won't bite your head off.”

  I'm not sure if that's his attempt at humor, and I dare not smile or laugh because I can't gauge what territory we're in; the friend zone or mere acquaintance territory. “Frankie's Kitchen isn't a chain, is it?” I ask.

  “You're not staying in Chicago?”

  “I'm looking at New York or Boston.”

  He says nothing, and that fact alone tells me that he doesn't like what I've just said.

  * * *

  ELI

  * * *

  I only meant to let her know that I knew about the photos, and to remind her that I warned her about Gerry. I didn’t expect to come away feeling like shit.

  Any mention of Swain always makes me feel like shit. It takes me back to when I was a seven-year-old. And no matter how hard I try, I simply can’t forget. I’m the heavyweight champion of the world, and still that S-word turns me into a helpless child.

  I don’t sleep that night. I toss and turn for hours.

  Sometime around five in the morning, I consider calling Harper since she’s the one who told me the news about him. It’s also because I haven’t slept as well as I did when she was in my arms.

  I manage to resist the urge to call her, and then spend the next few hours thinking about her instead.

  I don’t like the idea of Harper leaving Chicago. I don’t like the idea of Gerry being such a big dick and doing stuff to split us up. I especially don’t like that his actions have dumped a whole heap of crap into Harper’s life.

  She’s ended up with nothing. And I’ve ended up with everything.

  This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

  I don’t like injustice, and it seems to me that Harper has been dealt an unfair blow.

  I want to believe I can trust her again, and now that enough time has passed, and I’ve calmed down, I consider the possibility that I might be able to. She’s apologized to me, and to Nina, and it really does seem that she’s genuinely sorry.

  I toss and turn some more.

  I go to the gym later than usual, and Lou tells me that I look like shit. “What the hell happened to you?”

  “Rough night.”

  “I don’t want to know,” Lou says, throwing his hands up in the air.

  “Not that kind of night,” I reply.

  “Go for your run,” he tells me. “And do an extra two miles. That’ll help you sleep,” he chuckles.

  I’m back to the same old grind, the same hard workouts at the gym, pushing my body to the limit. Only now there’s nothing to look forward to at the end of my day. No Harper. No nice moments. No falling asleep peacefully.

  I take a detour on my run and end up at the offices of the paper she works at.

  I call her, and I hear the surprise in her voice when she answers. It’s magnified when I tell her I’m downstairs, and that I need to talk to her.

  She comes outside to meet me moments later.

  Damn, if she doesn’t look good in her work clothes. A charcoal gray business suit and a white silk shirt.

  “What are you doing here?” Her hand goes to her neck again, and she scratches gently.

  I want to ask her what she’s doing looking so damn good, but I don’t. “You hurt me,” is what I say.

  She looked so perfectly put together just a moment ago, but my words seem to make her crumple. I wipe the sweat from my brow.

  “I know, and I feel awful for it, every single day. If there was a way to make you see how bad I feel, I’d show you. If I could turn back time, I would, Eli. I’m sorry.”

  I nod and put my hand up. I didn’t come here to have her apologize to me again. She’s already done that many times. I simply haven’t chosen to listen.

  But I hear her now.

  “You hurt me, but you also made me happy.” I swallow and try not to look at her, because her eyes turn glassy. She folds her arms and presses her lips together, as if she’s trying to hold herself in. “I was happy when I was with you,” I tell her.

  Her eyes open a little, and then she schools herself not to look so surprised. “I was happy, too,” she says a few seconds later.

  I stare at her. “I know you made a mistake, and I know Gerry had something to do with this whole mess. I don’t see why we should let him win.”

  She blinks, and then waits. I was hoping I wouldn’t have to spell it out to her, especially when I’m not sure what it is exactly that I want to say to her.

  I want her back. That’s what I want.

  I want us to have another chance.

  I don’t want Gerry to be the cause of all our pain. Hers and mine.

  “What are you saying?” she asks me.

  I want to tell her that the belts and titles don’t make you. They pump you up for a sweet, short moment, but they don’t last, and they’re not solid. The people in your life are what make you.

  Instead I say, “I miss you,” because it’s that simple. “I want you back in my life. I want to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep.”

  She opens her mouth, then says nothing at first. “You miss me?”

  I tap a finger to my head. “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these past few days. I don’t want you to leave Chicago because of me.”

  “Who said I was leaving because of you?”

  “Weren’t you?”

  Her silence
tells me all I need to know.

  “What about Athena?”

  “She was for show,” I tell her.

  The line in the middle of her brow creases even deeper. She doesn’t understand. I will have to spell it out. “I didn’t do anything with her.”

  She tilts her head slightly, as if weighing up my words. She’s still unsure what to believe. “I didn’t even kiss her,” I say.

  “But she was always with you.”

  “The publicist said it would help.”

  “It gave me sleepless nights,” she confesses. That brings a smile to my lips, because it reminds me of the sleepless nights she and I had the last time we were together.

  I want another night like that with Harper again. I want more of them, and I know afterwards I’ll fall asleep because Harper has that effect on me.

  “She was just a decoy?” she asks, and I can tell she’s questioning everything she saw and heard about us being together.

  “That’s all she was.” That’s the truth, and I’m willing to wait until she believes it. “Do you want us to try again?” I ask.

  “Yes,” she answers, nodding her head. “There’s nothing I want more.”

  Epilogue

  One month later...

  ELI

  * * *

  Our clothes are lying all over the floor. Her floor. Her apartment.

  I'm still having my new place refurbished. It's two blocks away from Harper's apartment. I can't see either of us living alone. We'll probably be in each other's places all the time; maybe we’ll even end up living together. She’s the first woman I’ve ever thought I could do that with.

  Her dad called first thing in the morning. He interrupted us; morning sex is one of the best things about having Harper around.

  I could name twenty good things about having her in my life, but morning sex would make it into the top five.

  She's taken the phone in the other room, while I catch my breath. I don't plan on getting out of bed until the afternoon.

  I lie back, taking a little break, catching a breath while she’s on the phone. A little while later, she comes back, her face glowing, her smile wide.