Damaged Goods

by Nicole Williams

  Of course, I hadn’t done it alone. No, I’d stopped taking on the world as a solo act a couple of summers ago when three people had taught me a million different lessons on this little subject called love. They’d all been in the crowd, but as I scanned the bleachers as I wove through the mass of high-fiving and fist-bumping graduates, I noticed an empty seat beside two beaming girls.

  I shot them a thumbs-up and twirled the tassel of my cap. I might have tossed my cap into the air like everyone else for tradition’s sake, but I didn’t toss it so high that I couldn’t snatch it right back. I’d worked my butt off for that fashion atrocity, and I wasn’t going to let someone else mistakenly take it.

  Reese smiled wider and waved back. Paige rolled her eyes and replicated my thumbs-up. We’d all changed some in two years . . . but we were still a lot the same. Reese had graduated from high school last year, and she’d just completed her first year of nursing school. She’d moved out to live in the dorms last fall and was working part time at a coffee shop. As if going to school and working hadn’t filled her schedule to capacity, she’d even managed to squeeze a boyfriend into the equation. He was an all-right kid majoring in biology who all but worshipped the ground she walked on, but I made sure to throw him a warning glare every now and again to make sure he knew that if he ever did something to hurt Reese, I would call a hitman the next instant. I already had one on speed dial, just in case.

  Paige was . . . well, Paige was Paige, but she did that well. She loved hard, and she fought hard. She was passionate, spoke her mind, and lived life like she didn’t have an understanding of fear. She was about to finish her junior year of high school and already had big plans of going to college to play soccer and become a herpetologist—aka one who studies snakes. So yeah, the very thing that had nearly killed her was something she wanted to commit her life to studying. Go figure.

  In another year, Paige would be out of the apartment too, living in some dorm at some college. Though the three of our lives had progressed in ways I couldn’t have even imagined a few years ago, it was bittersweet. My sisters and I had grown close, and having them both gone would be . . . almost lonely. Their companionship had filled a void I hadn’t been aware of.

  That was why I was so lucky to have a third person who wasn’t planning on going anywhere. At least, not until he had his appointment with the hereafter, and even then, Will had promised I could just bury him in my backyard so I could visit or vent or yell or whatever I needed. He promised he’d always be there to listen. Even though he’d told me that in jest one Spaghetti and Meatballs Night, part of me believed that no matter where Will went—this zip code or another, this life or another—he’d always be listening. He was good at it, and I was . . . getting there. I still had a lot to learn, but thankfully he was a patient teacher.

  I was still scanning the bleachers for my patient teacher when I finally made it to my sisters. Reese and Paige had picked Will up from the shop earlier, and they were our ride to the “surprise” graduation party they were hosting for me at The Water Cooler tonight. It was kind of hard to keep it a surprise when I was the one who’d signed for the shipment of graduation party decorations at the start of my shift last night. Since I was the only employee in school, it was a safe bet that the Congrats, Graduate banners and balloons were for me. I’d been practicing my surprised face in the mirror, so hopefully I could pull off a convincing act.

  “Congrats, Liv!” Reese squealed as she threw her arms around me. Even Reese’s hugs had changed since we’d made the move from that dead-end trailer. Instead of wrapping her arms around me like she wasn’t sure of a single thing about her herself, now she threw them around me without reserve or apology.

  “Congrats double, Liv,” Paige said flatly, patting my arm.

  Reese shot her a look. “Nice enthusiasm. You must have been slaving all day over that one.”

  “Sorry. I forgot my pom poms and Prozac,” Paige replied, shoving Reese’s arm. “Besides, enthusiasm’s hard to work up when I’ve been baking for four hours while listening to the entire Greater Los Angeles area phone book be recited by Mr. Monotone up there. Plus, I’m starving.”

  Slinging my arm around Paige’s neck, I pulled her into the sister circle and kissed her cheek. Which she promptly wiped off. “Thank you for the bursting-at-the-seams excitement for me taking almost five years to get a four-year degree.”

  “You’re an inspiration, Liv.” Paige stopped squirming and let me give the two of them one final squeeze.

  “Why, thank you.” I did a little curtsy.

  “Especially when it comes to your career path. If this whole soccer scholarship and snake thing doesn’t work out, I’m walking through the doors of the closest strip—”

  That was when I clamped my hand over her mouth. They both knew about what I’d done and that I’d do it again if I had to relive that summer, but Paige had a special love for teasing me about it at any and every opportunity.

  “Where’s Will?” I asked Reese. Paige was busy trying to talk through my hand and moving her hips in a way that made it clear how far away she’d stayed from the doors of a strip club.

  Reese’s mouth stretched tight with her smile. “Waiting for you.”

  I was already suspicious from that smile alone. “Waiting for me where?”

  Only because I still had my hand clamped over Paige’s mouth did I notice her smile move into place—almost as wide as Reese’s from the feel of it. Not. Good.

  “The beach,” was Reese’s infuriating response.

  “Great, Reese. Because it’s not like there’s about a thousand beaches close by.” I tried to wipe the smile off of Paige’s face before clamping my hands over Reese’s shoulders. “What beach?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. He just told me to tell you to meet him at the beach and that you’d know the place.”

  “You two are a couple of vague conspirators, you know that?”

  But she didn’t have to tell me which beach or what part of it he’d be on. I knew where Will was. After moving out here, both of us struggling to make ends meet with me supporting three young women in California with a part-time job and him getting a brand-new business off the ground, we’d gotten creative with our dates. And what was better than watching the sun set on the beach before making a campfire and moving on to making something else? Even when Will’s repair shop really took off, we still preferred our beach dates. There was a simplicity and beauty to the location that no restaurant with a month-long waiting list could come close to matching.

  “You’d better hurry, Liv. It’s getting late.” Reese checked the time on her phone before giving me a push toward the parking lot.

  Something was up. I just didn’t know what . . . But I guessed that’s what I was off to find out. “So I’ll see you two later?”

  Reese’s face ironed out. “If you don’t have anything better to do, give us a ring, and maybe we can meet up for dinner or something.”

  She is really the worst liar ever. I played ignorant to the giant-ass party and waved at them before heading to my car. “Looks like I’ve got a boyfriend to find on a beach.”

  “Let’s hope you find him, Liv, because Will can’t exactly find you. You know, the whole ‘he’s blind’ thing. Just in case you forgot or something.”

  I glared back at Paige.

  “What? Are you telling me forgetting your boyfriend is blind is more far-fetched than not realizing he was in the first place?” Paige winked at me when my glare went a degree sharper.

  “You’re a pain in my ass, Paige.”

  I heard both of my sisters laugh before Paige called after me, “I love you too, Liv.”

  I was still grumbling by the time I made it to the Suburban in the parking lot. After tearing off my cap and gown, I tossed them in the backseat and fired up the engine. The beast had close to 250,000 miles on it and was still running like a champ. That probably had something to do with my repairman being one of the most sought-after mechanics
in this part of the city. In two years, Will had turned a business no one had heard of into one that was so successful that he’d had to hire three more mechanics and a couple of office staff just to keep up with demand, and they were still booking two weeks out. He was an amazing person, one of those special few someone had the privilege to run into a few times in life, and he was the person who told me I love you every day. The one I’d get to crawl into bed with every night if I didn’t have a little sister living at home.

  Despite none of us being old-fashioned or naive, I kept up some barriers with Will’s and my relationship. He didn’t spend the night at my apartment, and I only spent the night at his when the girls, or now just Paige, spent the night at one of their friends’. They knew we loved each other and expressed that love in all the different ways a couple could, but I didn’t want to blur the lines between our space and another person’s. I wanted the apartment to feel like a safe haven for Paige and Reese, not a place where someone else might show up randomly. Kitty had had a caravan of men staggering down our hall plenty of mornings, and I didn’t want that in our apartment. Despite it being Will and them both loving him, I didn’t want the overnights and the awkward mornings at the breakfast table. He spent plenty of other times at the apartment and shared as many meals with us as our schedules allowed, but overnights were a no-fly zone . . . for one more year. And then, then Will could spend the night in my bed every single night.

  The beach was a short drive from where graduation had been. I probably should have just walked, like I guessed he had. When I pulled into the parking lot, the sun was dipping into the ocean. I didn’t want to miss the sunset, so I flew out, slammed the door, and kicked off my heels before jogging down the beach. Will’s and my spot was a long ways from the parking area, because the farther away we went, the more private it got. I was out of breath and still a good few hundred yards away from him, but the sun was falling fast. I wanted to share this one with him—on the day that felt like such a huge milestone—so I picked up my pace and hoped I wouldn’t arrive as one giant, sweaty, panting mess.

  When I was a few body lengths from him, Will’s eyes closed and a slow smile moved into place. He rotated his palms so they were facing the ocean. “I can feel it, you know.”

  I slowed to a walk. “Feel what?”

  Will motioned me closer. When I stepped into him, he wrapped both arms around me. “The sunset,” he answered in a hushed voice. “When I was told I’d spend the rest of my life blind, that was the one thing I mourned most that very moment. When I found out I’d die a blind man, I wasn’t thinking about anything other than never getting to experience another sunset.”

  I nestled into him and turned my face to the falling sun, then I closed my eyes. It took a few seconds, but he was right. I could feel it too—the warmth of it changing as it descended into the horizon, the faint buzz as it said its farewell, and the final bright blast that no eyes had to see to experience before the last sliver set. “I can feel it too.”

  Opening my eyes, I looked at his face. He still had that peaceful smile, and although his skin had darkened some since moving to California and taking proper advantage of the ample beaches, and his hair had lightened to a shade that was nearly white from all of that beach time, he still looked like the same man I’d fallen for two summers ago. He was the same person I’d fallen in love with, but I’d changed enough for the two of us. Even though he was still the kind, generous man and I’d changed from the not-so-kind, rough-around-every-edge woman I’d been, he’d somehow managed to keep up with me so we could change as a couple. My positive changes were our positive changes. An obstacle I conquered, we celebrated as a team victory. I fell, he picked me up. He fell, I returned the favor. We changed together.

  We’d also managed to stay together, which was no small thing. Will and I’d had a rocky start, but the silver lining was that we learned how to traverse steep and fragile ground from the get-go. Our seemingly unfavorable start had equipped us to better handle the other road blocks and sinkholes life threw at us later.

  “Did you drag me all the way out here to wish me congratulations?” I asked as I wove my arms around him.

  The skin between Will’s eyes creased. “A certain kind of congratulations, I hope . . .”

  I felt the same patch of skin on my face wrinkle as well.

  “But we’ll get to that later. I want to do something else first.” Planting a kiss on my forehead, Will let me go and spun around to grab something from the sand. As he turned back my way, he gave what was in his hands a shake. The circle he was holding turned into a giant paper lantern.

  I smiled. “I don’t even know what you’ve got planned for this, and it’s already pretty darn romantic.”

  “Glad to know it’s working.” Will flashed me a tilted smile and wagged his eyebrows.

  “Ahh, now I know why you lured me out here. I don’t think sunsets or paper lanterns were even close to the main reasons why.” I slipped my fingers into his worn leather belt and tugged him closer.

  Will’s tilted smile took on a sharper slant. “You’re right. The sunset and paper lantern were not the reasons I lured you out here.”

  “So predictable,” I said under my breath, but I didn’t care that Will had ulterior motives in wanting some alone time with me on the beach.

  I’d been so busy the past few weeks preparing for finals that, other than him dropping off a fresh tank-sized jug of coffee or take-out from the Chinese place down the road, we’d barely seen each other. It had been a good week since we’d . . . seen each other that way, but it felt like it had been a year, especially with the way he was studying me. He smelled extra nice tonight. For Will to dab on cologne and make sure his face was clean-shaven meant he was really trying to hedge his bets to make sure tonight went as planned. But it didn’t matter how he phrased it or how long he begged or how hard he pleaded, I wasn’t saying no.

  “This is a sky lantern. Some people write wishes on them, some people light them to remember a person who’s passed on, and everyone else lights them for a million other reasons.” He pulled a lighter from his pocket and felt around the base of it until he found the center.

  “And what reason are we lighting this one?” I asked, knowing Will had a very specific reason for lighting this lantern. He was still deep—overwhelmingly so most days.

  “To celebrate this new chapter in your life. To celebrate your accomplishments. To celebrate you.” Striking the lighter, Will put the flame to the center strip. The flame took quickly.

  “I think now would be a good time to pull your hand back a bit,” I warned right as he did that.

  He gave his hand a swift shake. “I think you’re right. My burnt-off forearm hair can attest to that.”

  I shook my head and chuckled. “Men and fire.”

  “It’s a caveman thing.” Will shrugged then slowly turned the lantern so it was ready to take off.

  I grabbed the side opposite of him as we waited for it to expand. In the darkening night, the yellowish-orange light the lantern gave off was breathtaking. It hadn’t even taken off and it was a sight to behold. Then I realized something. One of the many somethings I’d experienced over the past couple years with Will.

  “I wish you could see this,” I whispered, glancing at him.

  His gaze was fixed on the lantern, almost like he could see it. “Tell me about it. Tell me what it looks like when it takes off.” His gaze shifted from the lantern to me. “I’ll see it through your eyes.”

  I grabbed his free hand. “Ready?”

  Will nodded. “Ready.”

  We let go at the same time. Just as it was cresting our heads, Will’s hand snapped out and grabbed the rim of the lantern.

  His face showed a flash of intense relief before a slow smirk moved into place. “Not quite yet.”

  “Not quite yet?”

  “One more thing before you set out on this grand new chapter of your life.” Will worked over something inside the lantern before freein
g something small enough to fit inside his hand.

  “World peace?” I teased.

  Will pursed his lips in consideration. “Not a bad idea, but I had something else in mind.”

  “And what that something would be, Mr. Goods?”

  Will’s hand opened, and in his palm was a ring. “Spending the rest of our lives together.”

  I didn’t stagger in place. I didn’t cry. I didn’t do the giddy girl thing either. No, Liv Bennett studied that ring in the hands of the man she loved for a few moments as what he’d just said registered. Smiling from the ring to his face, I stepped into him. “I can’t think of a better way to start this new chapter.”

  Before Will’s grin had time to fully form, my lips were on his and I wound my arms around his neck. I didn’t mean to tackle him to the sand, but once he was there and I was on top of him, I wasn’t in a hurry to help him back up either. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that lantern was floating into the sky, but nothing could divert my attention from the man below me, kissing me the way he was now.

  “That’s a yes if there’s ever been a yes,” Will managed to get out a minute later.

  “Yeah, Will.” I kissed the corner of his mouth. “That’s an absolutely, positively yes please.” Then another lantern thought slipped into my mind. “I can’t believe you tied my engagement ring to the lantern we were about to send up to the stars.”

  His forehead lined. “Yeah, that was close. Good thing I practiced all day yesterday so that when it actually counted, I nailed it. And speaking of lost rings . . .” Will pulled his hand up through our bodies and opened it again. “This one’ll get lost in the sand if I don’t get it on your finger before we go any further with these fine extracurricular activities.”

  I moved my left hand from his chest and held it out for him. He couldn’t see it, but it didn’t take him any time to find it and slide the ring onto the correct finger.

  “Forever starts right now,” he said.