He Will Be Mine: The brand new laugh out loud page turner!

by Kirsty Greenwood

  My usual awkward shyness fades away as Gary’s injury propels me into action. ‘Come on,’ I say, the mandatory first-aid training we did at high school coming straight back to me. ‘My place is just there. We need to clean the wound and stop it bleeding. See what we’re working with.’

  Leaving our towels on the beach, we hurry to Kennedy’s house. Inside, Winklepuff starts jumping up at Gary and licking his knees, making little yelps of joy.

  ‘Ham!’ I say firmly.

  Winklepuff thankfully settles obediently onto his bottom. I make a silent vow to repay him with some premium Parma as soon as I can. I grab some fresh towels and the first-aid kit from the downstairs bathroom and bring them through to where Gary Montgomery is standing in the living room, looking way too pale and dazed for my liking. I wrap the towel around his arm to stem the bleeding.

  ‘Sit down,’ I command, pushing him down onto the sofa and trying to ignore the fact that my hand on his shoulder is making me far hornier than it should, given that this man is bleeding right in front of me. Removing the towel, I grab a little bottle of antiseptic and wipe it over the wound.

  Gary breathes in abruptly.

  ‘Sorry,’ I say, feeling his pain in the pit of my stomach.

  I take out some wound adhesive and place five strips over the cut, grab a bandage, rip off the plastic packaging and wrap the wound, as carefully and neatly as I can, securing it with a tiny gold safety pin.

  ‘I don’t think it needs stitches, but you should probably go to the hospital to check… Did you hit your head? Is anything else hurt?’

  He shakes his head no. ‘I think I just caught my arm on a rock when I went under.’

  ‘Right.’

  He looks incredibly confused. Is he in shock? It must have been so scary getting dragged under those waves. ‘Do you want a brew or anything?’ I say. ‘It might help with the shock? You know, the sugar.’

  ‘A brew?’ he asks, eyebrow raised.

  ‘Tea. A cup of tea.’

  ‘Oh. Sure.’

  ‘Good.’

  ‘Thanks’

  ‘No problem!’

  As I stand up from the sofa, I realise that I’m still dripping wet and wearing my too small swimming costume. Jeez. I get a flash of what Brandon said last night and cross my arms over my belly, trying not to look down at my crotch to check whether I am revealing more than is appropriate.

  Gary’s eyes travel briefly down my body before he turns his head quickly away and peers out of the window.

  I grab the other towel and wrap it around me. It’s a small towel so it barely covers anything. Argh.

  ‘I thought I heard voices,’ a messy-haired Kennedy says, padding down the stairs in her dressing gown. Then she looks, almost in slow motion, at the blood on the floor and then up to Gary Montgomery sitting right there on her sofa in nothing but a pair of navy swimming shorts. She presses both hands to her chest. ‘Holy fuck that’s actual Gary Montgomery,’ she breathes. Then, eyes wide, their expression turning from surprise to confusion to horror. ‘Oh god, Nora,’ she whispers. ‘No! What have you done to him? This has gone too fa—’

  ‘Actual Gary Montgomery was surfing and injured his arm. I was swimming and I helped him. That’s all.’

  ‘Thank god! I thought that…’ She stops herself and takes a steadying breath, thankfully realising that she’s half-asleep and not in full control of her faculties.

  I give her a pointed look, silently begging her not to say anything that might reveal my true identity.

  She glances over at Gary again, who is looking as uncomfortable as someone who has run into a vague Facebook friend in the supermarket and has to pass them in every aisle thereafter. ‘This is so weird,’ she says, rubbing her eyes and flattening her bed hair. ‘Actual Gary Montgomery in my house.’

  ‘It’s just Gary,’ Gary tells us, a wry expression crossing his face. ‘I mean, my father did like the name Actual, but my mum insisted on Gary before she… well yes. Gary it was— Is.’

  ‘Tea,’ I say with a firm nod. ‘I’m going to make tea now.’

  I head towards the kitchen when Kennedy suddenly makes a weird noise and flies down the rest of the stairs at great speed. She dives past me, and yanks the curtain to my sleeping area closed with a yelp.

  Oh my god. The Creepy As Fuck Soulmate Procurement Wall. Holy shit. Thank god she remembered. Imagine if Gary had seen that! He’d have for sure thought he was in some type of Misery situation right now and I would one hundred percent be getting arrested today.

  ‘Thanks,’ I hiss under my breath to Kennedy.

  ‘Should I leave you alone?’ she whispers back, looking around as if she is somehow still asleep and this is all a weird dream.

  ‘Yes,’ I mumble out of the side of my mouth. ‘Yes, please.’

  Kennedy tells Gary it was a great honour and privilege to meet him and that she hopes he feels better soon before slowly heading back up the stairs to her bedroom, not without looking back at us in confusion at least three times.

  When she’s gone, I make tea for the two of us as quickly as possible and take it out to find Gary is staring with wide eyes at my copy of the latest Harcourt Royals book on the coffee table, his mouth slightly ajar.

  ‘Oh, hey I have that book!’ he says.

  ‘I know!’ I say without thinking. Shit, Nora. Control yourself!

  ‘You know?’

  ‘Oh, no. I mean. Hasn’t everyone read that book?’

  ‘I’ve never met a single other person who has read that series. Is it your room-mate’s?’

  ‘No, this one’s mine,’ I say, handing him the mug, which looks tiny in his large hands. ‘Although we’re both pretty obsessed with it, it’s actually how we met. On the online fan group?’

  ‘There’s a fan group?’ Gary laughs out loud, his eyes sparkling with the kind of excitement that only a true book geek would get at discovering there is a group of people out there who are as specifically nerdy as you. He catches himself, flushing a little red in the cheeks, which is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. This big hunk of a man blushing over his nerdy love for a book series about a powerful and sexy princess and an eco-warrior stripper.

  I laugh at his reaction and sit down onto the sofa beside him, being careful to keep a respectful distance between us. ‘I had a very similar reaction when I discovered the forum. Are you on Facebook? There’s a group on there too!’

  Gary nods, using the towel to wipe over his face. I wish I could tell him to leave the water droplets on his eyelashes because they look perfect, but that would be super creepy.

  ‘I have a secret account, under a fake name.’

  ‘Ah, right.’ I nod. Do not ask what the secret name is, Nora. Do not ask that… ‘What’s the secret name?’ I immediately ask, before clamping my hands over my mouth. Why am I such a fool? I clear my throat. ‘Not that I want to know. You don’t need to tell me. I mean, not that I would tell anyone, but yeah, sorry, just ignore me.’

  Gary laughs, his eyes narrowed curiously. ‘You wanna know what the secret name is?’

  ‘Yes!’ I put my hands over my face.

  ‘It’s Preston Peabody,’ Gary says.

  ‘Oh! Why?’

  ‘Well, it’s my dad’s middle name and my mom’s maiden name.’

  I pull a face. ‘That’s a bit obvious, if you’re wanting to hide from rabid fans,’ I say lightly, as if I am not one of them.

  Gary chuckles again, his dark eyes glinting. ‘Well, no one has discovered it so far.’

  He’s right. I didn’t think of it, and god knows I’ve searched for a secret Facebook account.

  ‘Well, the forum and the Facebook fan group both go by the name The Crown Kissers, if you’re interested.’

  ‘The Crown Kissers?’ Gary purses his lips, barely suppressing a smile.

  Now it’s my turn to go red because it dawns on me. How have I not noticed that Crown Kissers sounds exactly like a euphemism for blow jobs. I gasp. Considering the tongue-in-che
ek nature of the books, I’m pretty sure CJ West knew exactly what she was doing. ‘I didn’t come up with it!’ I protest.

  Gary nods slowly. ‘As soon as I get home, I’ll find the group. I think I’d like to become a Crown Kisser.’

  He is teasing. Gary Montgomery is making a joke. With me.

  ‘The Crown Kissing Life is a fine life,’ I say. ‘It’s lovely to bond with other passionate Crown Kissers.’

  ‘I always felt like a Crown Kisser in my heart, so it sure will be great to find my tribe, at last,’ Gary shoots back.

  The pair of us crumple into laughter, and for a moment I forget that this is Gary Montgomery of mega fame, the object of all of my attention since the night I saw him at the pictures. Right now he’s just a semi-naked guy on the sofa who I really really like.

  We stop laughing and Gary looks at me for a long moment. It makes the hairs on my body spring to attention. Then he sort of shakes his head a little and coughs.

  ‘So, um, have you read the bit at the Winter Gala yet?’ he asks politely.

  ‘What?’ I say, trying not to stare too much at his naked torso.

  ‘In the book?’ Gary says, pointing at the book on the table.

  ‘Oh! Oh my god, yes!’ I say. ‘I just read that bit! I cannot believe that fake journalist fucked everything up for Bastian! He was so excited about her expert fish knowledge too.’

  I can’t believe I’m talking about Harcourt Royals with Gary Montgomery right now. And the conversation is going well. I don’t feel shy or scared any of the bad things I usually feel when I talk to people I don’t know.

  ‘Oh, well, I won’t spoiler you,’ Gary says. ‘But trust me it gets even better!’

  ‘Eek. I cannot wait. Maybe you should bugger off, so I can get back to it.’

  Gary smiles at me, knowing immediately that I am joking. ‘Oh, well, I’m sorry my near-death experience took you away from Esme and Bastian.’

  ‘I forgive you,’ I say nobly.

  A silence settles over us. It isn’t awkward, but it’s definitely something. I’m not quite sure what it is. This is all so weird.

  ‘Okay!’ Gary says, extra loudly, standing up from the sofa. ‘I should probably get outta here.’

  ‘Oh yes, of course!’ I say equally as loudly. ‘Is your arm feeling better?’

  ‘My what? Oh! Yeah. My arm.’ He looks down at the bandage as if he’d completely forgotten it existed. ‘Yeah it is. Thanks for the rescue, Nora.’

  I feel a lump in my throat. ‘Any time, Gary.’

  I follow him as he makes his way to the door.

  He’s going to leave. I should say something. Now is the time. Now is my chance. I should tell him that I came here for him. That I’m certain he’s my soulmate and doesn’t he feel it too?

  I open my mouth, my heart thudding through my chest. I’m about to say his name when he speaks first.

  ‘I should hurry. I have a suit fitting for my engagement garden party tomorrow night and I promised my fiancée I’d be on time for once.’

  I clamp my mouth shut. His fiancée. Tori. An actual human being who Gary is deliriously in love with. Who he asked to marry him. Who is not me.

  I take a deep breath and nod casually. ‘Of course.’

  Gary formally holds out his hand for me to shake. I touch it and almost jump as electricity shoots right up my arm. He slightly jumps too, though I’m pretty sure it’s because I jumped first, like some sort of skittish kitten. Then Gary’s eyes travel across my body once more and I’m pretty sure I see a glint of something in his eyes. Attraction? Shit. I know that look. That is definitely attraction. Oh my god.

  We stare at each other for a few more seconds and then eventually Gary gives the same distracted half-wave he gave at the café, turns around and, without looking back, leaves.

  As soon as the door clicks shut, I hear Kennedy’s bedroom door burst open and she clatters down the stairs, now fully dressed in a cream floaty dress, her hair in a messy bun on top of her head.

  ‘Holy fuck!’ she says.

  ‘Holy fuck,’ I say back, starting to pace very quickly around the room.

  ‘That was weird…’

  ‘It was.’ My knees sort of buckle and I plop myself down onto the sofa, feeling a little dizzy. I’m about to tell Kennedy about what I thought I saw in Gary’s eyes, that ever so brief glimpse of desire, how we both jumped when we touched each other. But I stop when I realise she is frowning at me a little bit. ‘I thought you had, like, kidnapped him or something.’

  ‘You didn’t think that!’ I say. ‘Not really.’

  ‘I sort of did.’ She pulls a face. ‘And I shouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion, you know?’

  I nod. She thinks I’m as crazy as Brandon and Imogene do. I button my lips. There’s no point in telling her what I thought I saw. Considering all the ridiculous calls I’ve made since I’ve been here, it is super possible that my imagination is still playing tricks on me.

  Kennedy grabs my hands. ‘You do know that seeing him on the beach was just a coincidence, right?’ she says gently.

  I nod, although I can’t help the little thought, right there at the back of my mind, that wonders whether fate is intervening. I mean, I’ve just bumped into him two days in a row. That’s a pretty massive coincidence.

  I shake my head and try to push the notion away. I’ve already gotten myself into enough shit. And Gary very clearly said he was going for a suit fitting for his engagement party. I need to pay attention to the facts. He is engaged to someone else. He loves someone else.

  ‘Just try to keep focused on reality,’ Kennedy says. ‘Speaking of which, what the hell happened between you and Brandon? He was in a real sulk last night. Lovers’ tiff?’

  I’m about to tell her, as tactically as I can, that her brother is a bit of a prick, when there’s a frantic knock on the front door. My first ridiculous hope is that it’s Gary, coming back to kiss me, to tell me that he felt that spark too.

  I hold my breath, pull open the door and receive the second enormous shock of the morning when I see Imogene standing there, her clothes crumpled, her eyes tired and her usually perfect hair in a wild halo around her head.

  ‘Imogene?’

  Kennedy pops her head over my shoulder. ‘Your sister!’

  Imogene gives me her sternest look. ‘I made you come here. Now I’m going to bring you home.’

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Gary

  What the hell was that?

  Fuck.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Nora

  I grab hold of my sister and pull her into a hug. She drops her suitcase onto the floor and wraps her arms around me. The emotion of this whole trip and the fact that Imogene and I never really hug makes me burst into tears.

  Kennedy ushers Imogene in, offering to make us both chamomile tea, like the absolute angel she is.

  Imogene and I sit on the sofa. She leans back and inspects my crying face.

  ‘Stop crying,’ she says. And, because she’s my big sister and she says it so firmly, I do, leaving behind the odd sniffle here and there. ‘You look different,’ she adds suspiciously. ‘Like, a lot different… Did you get Botox out here?’ As Kennedy returns with the tea Imogene wrinkles her nose. ‘You let her get Botox? When she’s in such a fragile mental state?’

  I frown a huge frown, proving that I have had no Botox. ‘Course I’ve not, you turd,’ I say. ‘And I am not fragile. Stupid, yes, but not fragile.’

  Kennedy sits down in the armchair opposite us. ‘For the record, Botox is a very useful tool for subtly delaying the signs of ageing. But Nora’s fresh face is nothing more than a by-product of joy.’

  Imogene screws her face up and I notice there are dark shadows under her eyes. ‘Joy?’

  Kennedy beams. ‘We have been seeking joy. It’s really helped her with the whole “thinking Gary Montgomery is her soulmate” thing. She’s actually discovered some magic of her own out here.’

  Imogene smile
s, seeming to warm quickly to Kennedy. ‘That’s good. I love her, but can you imagine what I thought when she told me this big famous actor was her one true love?’

  ‘I can’t imagine. I mean, I went along with it for a while because I thought it was the kindest thing to do, but after the whole handprint ceremony mess? I knew it had to stop.’

  ‘Exactly.’ Imogene rolls her eyes. ‘And when she said she was staying here for longer after she’d just agreed to come home, I didn’t trust that she wouldn’t try to get to him again and get herself into major trouble.’

  I look between them, my mouth open. ‘I’m right here!’

  ‘Well,’ Kennedy says, ignoring me and smiling conspiratorially at Imogene like they’re new BFFs, ‘I made sure to distract her by setting her up with my brother Brandon. I’ve been pushing them together the whole time and a couple of nights ago they…’ Kennedy wiggles her eyebrows.

  ‘Hot Brandon!’ Imogene says. ‘I knew it.’

  ‘Oi!’ I shout at the pair of them. ‘Stop having a rapport! Stop talking about me like I’m not here.’ I stand up and put my hands on my hips. ‘I cannot believe you’ve been “pushing us together”, Kennedy!’. I turn to Imogene. ‘Brandon and I are not a thing. He’s mean and I don’t think he really likes me at all. I certainly don’t like him.’ I side-eye Kennedy. ‘No offence.’

  Kennedy waves me away. ‘He’s a grump right now, but he’s heartbroken. You just need to let him warm up. He’s a good guy. Esme and Bastian didn’t get on at first and look at them now!’

  I sigh. ‘I know he’s your brother and you love him, Kennedy, and he is clearly going through some shit, and obviously I am too, but it’s really not going to happen. I… I’m in love with Gary.’

  ‘Christ,’ Imogene says and buries her head in her hands.

  ‘I know it’s never going to happen,’ I say, sitting back down. ‘But I can’t help how I feel, especially now I’ve met him! It’s going to take me some time to get over...’ I look at my feet. ‘Probably my whole life.’