He Will Be Mine: The brand new laugh out loud page turner!

by Kirsty Greenwood

‘Ooh! Send me the link.’

  ‘Yeah. Okay. Pop the trunk, Brandon.’

  Kennedy brings a couple of Winklepuff’s travel blankets which smell like Winklepuff post-run and pre-bath, a random bit of tarpaulin, plus a beach towel, then, instructing me to sink down as far as I can into the seat, proceeds to dump everything on top of me. Imogene makes a little space so that I can breathe.

  ‘This is great,’ she says. ‘It just looks like a big messy lump of junk.’

  ‘Not the worst insult I’ve had,’ I shout back, my voice muffled by the smelly blankets and crap.

  I hear Kennedy get back into the passenger seat and instruct everyone, and especially Winklepuff, to ‘act cool’.

  The car starts moving forward, I’m assuming up the driveway, and my heart is thudding in my ears. We come to a stop.

  ‘Hi, Kennedy Jane Cooper here for the Montgomery-Gould engagement garden party.’

  ‘You’re running very late,’ I hear a gruff voice respond.

  ‘OMG! Traffic was, like, a nightmare.’ Imogene pipes up in a terrible valley girl American accent, clearly not following Kennedy’s instructions to act cool.

  ‘Invitation please?’ the gruff voice says.

  I hear a rustling and then Kennedy says in a voice much sweeter than her own. ‘Oh, dang! I’ve forgotten it! What a fool I am.’

  ‘I can’t let you past without an invite. Strict orders.’

  Well, that’s not ideal.

  ‘Come on, man,’ Brandon tries.

  ‘No. Sorry.’

  And then comes another voice. A slightly nasal-sounding deep voice.

  ‘Kennedy Cooper? Is that you?’ the voice says. ‘Holy shit, it is you!’

  ‘Hi!’ Kennedy says in a kind of strangled voice that makes me think she has no clue who this man is who clearly knows her.

  The man speaks again, seemingly thrilled.

  ‘Joel, this is the chick who does the weather! You know! On KLCLA! “Keep cool out there, folks.” She’s the one who says those actual words!’

  ‘I don’t watch the weather, Cleetus. I just check invitations at famous people’s parties.’

  ‘She’s the best!’ Cleetus exclaims. ‘You’re the best. Can I get your autograph?’

  I try to hold a little laugh because, of all the famous people that must have been seen by these two guys today, it’s Kennedy that causes one of them to be star-struck. I feel a little flicker of pride.

  ‘Of course I’ll give you my autograph!’ Kennedy says. ‘Hand me a pen.’

  ‘She doesn’t have an invitation,’ the gruff voice repeats.

  ‘She’s on the TV almost every morning, Joel. Everyone in Hollywood knows everyone else in Hollywood. They’re fine.’

  ‘This is on your back.’ Joel grumbles.

  ‘I’ll vouch for you, Kennedy,’ Cleetus says, amidst the sound of a pen scratching onto a paper.

  ‘Thank you, Cleetus,’ Kennedy says sweetly. ‘Here you go. I’m so grateful. Better hurry!’

  ‘Have a great day!’ Cleetus says brightly. ‘And… keep cool out there.’

  ‘No, you keep cool!’ Imogene cries in her weird American accent, finishing with a little burp.

  Before anyone can check the validity of a clearly tipsy Imogene, Brandon puts his foot on the pedal and we zoom off down the driveway towards destiny.

  Thank you, Cleetus!

  Ugh, I think I have a dog hair in my mouth.

  While Brandon waits in the car in case we need to make a swift exit, Kennedy, Imogene, Winklepuff and I head into the white building where an usher directs us through the indoor lobby and back outside towards a little wooden bridge lit by lanterns. She tells us that the Gardens are at the end of the bridge.

  I gasp as I hear Billy Fever finishing a rendition of ‘Animals’ to rapturous applause.

  Halfway across the bridge, Kennedy stops and hands me the sunglasses that are sitting atop her head. ‘John Alan may be in there, you’ll have more time if you wear these.’

  Imogene pulls the small silk scarf that is looped around the handle of her handbag and wraps it around my head, tucking my hair underneath. She nods approvingly. ‘It suits you. Very Hollywood.’

  I take a deep breath as we continue to walk down the bridge. We come to a small clearing of trees and beyond it is one of the most beautiful, most elegant parties I have ever seen. There are round tables filled with stunning people, many of them, oddly, with professional cameras. On a makeshift stage, framed by lanterns, Billy is taking down his microphone to make way for a cellist. Little fish ponds are dotted here and there and at the centre of the garden is a gorgeous fountain.

  I look up at the sky, it is dusky and purple and like something from a film, like someone designed the moment with care and attention. And then I see him. Gary. Dressed in a dark suit, his arm around Tori, who looks perfect in a long pink dress, holding a glass of champagne. She looks up at him and he leans down to kiss her on the cheek.

  I can’t do it.

  I cannot be the one to ruin this perfect moment. Their potentially perfect life together. They look absolutely perfect for each other. They match. And Gary is smiling. A really big smile. I don’t want to be the one who takes that smile off his face.

  ‘No,’ I whisper to Imogene and Kennedy, my eyes blurring with tears behind the sunglasses. ‘I can’t do this to him. To her. It’s not right.’

  ‘We came all this way,’ Kennedy says, rubbing my arm gently. ‘You might never get a chance like this again!’

  ‘He kissed you, Nora. Brandon said he looked at you like a man in love,’ Imogene adds.

  ‘But look!’ I point to Gary and Tori, chatting away to guests, their arms around each other, Gary leaning down to ruffle the head of his dog Janet – who is wearing some sort of flowery garland on her head. ‘This whole party is perfect. They are perfect! It’s not my place to—’

  Before I can finish my sentence, Winklepuff starts sniffing the air frantically and, with a little yelp of excitement, leaps down from Kennedy’s arms and, oh my god, begins to sprint through the garden. Oh no. No, no, no.

  ‘Fuck!’ Kennedy swallows. ‘I was holding him tightly.’

  The murmurs of the crowd get louder as they notice this tiny random Yorkshire Terrier running around and barking before he darts over to Janet.

  ‘Winklepuff!’ Kennedy hisses, but he doesn’t hear her.

  Gary and Tori stare down at Winklepuff in surprise, as he tries to climb up towards Janet, my face goes all hot. Shit. He is going to try to get with Janet again, right here, in front of everyone! Oh my god.

  ‘Ham!’ I yell frantically, hurrying down through the trees and along the gravelled path towards Winklepuff. ‘Ham!’ Bending down to scoop him up before he mounts a keen-looking Janet for the second time, Kennedy’s sunglasses half-slip off my face and are left dangling off one ear.

  ‘Nora?’ Gary says, peering at my face, shock and confusion clouding his features. ‘What are you…? Why are you…?’

  ‘I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,’ I say over and over again, holding a wriggling Winklepuff to my chest and using my free hand to tug this stupid scarf off my head.

  ‘It’s you!’ Tori gasps as the realisation that she has met me before dawns. ‘And that awful dog. Oh my god, I knew I recognised you from the article.’

  ‘You two have met?’ Gary’s eyes widen as he looks between the two of us. ‘What the hell is going on?’ He swallows hard. ‘Nora, what are you doing here?’

  Article? What is Tori talking about? I look around me in panic, all the guests at the perfectly set tables staring at me. I open my mouth to say something, anything, to explain myself, but nothing comes out. From the little stage, Billy gives me a sad, sorry smile.

  I feel someone take my hand. Looking up, I see that it’s Imogene and she’s giving me an encouraging smile. Kennedy arrives on the other side of me, gently taking Winklepuff from my arms.

  ‘Nora?’ Gary tries again.

  I open my mouth, but bef
ore I can say a word, Tori takes her phone out of her dress pocket and taps furiously on the screen. She narrows her eyes at me before holding the phone aloft.

  ‘How do you know her, Gary? How do you know your own stalker?’

  The floor seems to wobble, a vice-like tightness grips my throat.

  ‘What the hell are you talking about, Tori?’ Gary says in a low, angry voice.

  ‘Where is John Alan?’ Tori asks, looking around the garden frantically. She raises her voice even louder. ‘Somebody get him now. Where’s Mom?’ She waves the phone about. ‘We need security!’ Handing Gary her phone, Tori steps slightly behind him as if I’m someone to be afraid of. ‘TMZ dropped this about an hour ago,’ she tells Gary in a voice loud enough for everyone in the garden to hear. ‘I was going to show you later. I didn’t want to spoil the party for you and I figured you’d be safe here! Jesus.’

  ‘What’s happening?’ I ask, my heart starting to thud in my ears so loudly that it feels like what I expect running a marathon must feel like. Which is to say, not great.

  Kennedy, along with the rest of the attendees, quickly pull out their phones. Kennedy frowns and then gasps, her eyes growing wide. ‘Oh no,’ she whispers. ‘No, no, no.’

  ‘Nora?’ Gary asks, his eyes looking up from Tori’s phone and meeting mine in horror, his voice cracking gruffly as he says my name. ‘Is this true? It’s not true, right? This is just dumb gossip?’

  ‘What? Is what true? What does it say?’ I start to rummage around my bag for my phone, but my hands are shaking and all I pull out is a lip gloss and a packet of ham which, of course, makes Winklepuff start to whine in desperation.

  Kennedy shushes Winklepuff and wordlessly shows me her phone, Imogene leaning over my shoulder to read what everyone else here seems to be reading right now.

  ‘Of course it’s true!’ I hear Tori screech. ‘She must have followed me to the beach! She set that dog on Janet! Oh my god. Where the fuck is security? Seth, go find John Alan right now.’

  I look down at the phone screen and the thudding in my ears stops. My whole heart seems to stop. My legs turn to jelly and I have to grab onto Imogene’s arm to keep from fully falling down. It’s right there, being read by everyone here and no doubt thousands and thousands of people over the world. The worst possible words, at the worst possible time, in the worst possible situation.

  Stalker Who Attempted Gary Montgomery Attack Revealed as Brit, Nora Tucker, 27

  Chapter Fifty-Four

  Nora

  Right there on the website is a picture of me. An old one from the Virtual Assistants 4U website. It’s a photo my dad took a few years ago. My eyes are shining, my mouth open in an unselfconscious laugh. I scan the article, bile rising in my throat as it details my trip to Los Angeles after seeing Gary Montgomery in Justice of The Peace. How I tried to infiltrate his film set and attack him at the Chinese Theatre. And then, as I scroll further down, there’s another picture.

  ‘Oh fuck,’ I whisper.

  It’s a picture of the Creepy As Fuck Soulmate Procurement Wall. The specific details on the printouts are pixelated, but the pictures and screenshots of Tori’s Instagram and the huge poster of Gary are very clear to see. Beneath the photo, the caption says, Ms Tucker’s plan of attack, found on the wall of her accommodation in Venice Beach.

  How did they know… How did they get the picture?

  I spin round to look at Kennedy. Her cheeks are flaming. She’s shaking her head and stuttering. She wouldn’t… she wouldn’t have done this to me? Would she? I think of her frantically typing at her laptop, her interest in everything that happened with Gary, her help setting up the Creepy As Fuck Soulmate Procurement Wall and the fact that she was looking for a big story for her anchor audition. Did… did she use this story? Did she use me? Is that how she got the job?

  ‘It’s not what you think,’ Kennedy blurts out, her eyes filling with tears.

  Oh my god. She did this.

  ‘Nora,’ Gary says again. ‘What is this? You need to tell me what the fuck is going on.’

  I turn back to him, flinching at his eyes, which are no longer soft and warm like they were earlier today, but are now narrowed and full of distrust.

  ‘It… I… Wait, I can explain…’ I can’t seem to formulate a sentence at all, let alone one that explains this article. I open my mouth again to tell him that it’s not what it looks like, but how can I? It’s exactly what it looks like. I mean, not the bit about wanting to hurt Gary, but the rest of it… why I’m here and what I did… it’s true. I take a step towards him. ‘I…’

  ‘Where is John Alan?’ Tori cries out, clutching Gary’s arm as if I’m about to peel off his skin and wear it like a cape.

  At that moment, John Alan appears from out of a small bamboo shack, followed by Aileen Gould. When John Alan spots me, his face falls and he starts sprinting, almost tripping over some small potted shrubs as he does so. When he reaches our little crowd of disaster, he grasps hold of my arms, pulls them behind my back and clasps them together while using his other arm to pat his pockets.

  ‘Does anyone have a pair of handcuffs?’ he calls out to the crowd, who are all watching this moment, absolutely rapt. The dozens of photographers present are busy taking picture after picture. John Alan pulls on my arms and I can’t help but yelp as he yanks them roughly.

  ‘Stop!’ Gary cries. ‘Get off of her!’

  Imogene steps up to John Alan, her face red with fury. ‘She hasn’t done anything wrong! If you don’t take your hands off my sister right fucking now, I will hurt you.’

  John Alan half-smiles because Imogene is even skinnier than Tori. Hardly much of a threat to someone who is half-man, half-barrel. He turns to Gary. ‘This woman has been stalking you, Mr Montgomery. I cannot in good conscience let her get any closer to you. She’s dangerous.’

  ‘She is not dangerous,’ Kennedy cries. ‘She’s in love!’

  At this, Tori throws her head back and laughs manically. ‘Wow, you are ruining everything!’ she yells at me. ‘This was supposed to be perfect! I planned it so that it would be perfect!’

  Aileen hurries to Tori’s side and rubs her arms comfortingly.

  ‘Take her away, John,’ Aileen says. ‘And call the fuckin’ cops.’

  Everyone starts talking all at once and as the sounds of anger and upset and chaos surround me, I look only at Gary and he looks at me.

  ‘STOP!’ he yells eventually. ‘Everyone just fucking stop. John, get off of her. Please, everyone, could you leave.’

  No one moves. John Alan doesn’t let me go.

  ‘I meant it, John,’ Gary says in a low, angry voice I’ve not heard before. ‘Get the fuck off of her.’

  John Alan immediately releases his grip.

  I shake my arms and rub at my aching shoulders, panting with fear and adrenaline and wondering how the fuck I can get out of here as soon as possible. This is too much. It’s all way too much.

  John Alan takes up a squat position, his hands in a karate chop pose as if he is ready to pounce on me again at any given moment.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Kennedy and Imogene ask, crowding around me, shielding me from John Alan.

  Gary steps away from Tori and over to me. ‘Are you hurt?’ he asks, swallowing hard.

  ‘No, not physically,’ I say.

  ‘Okay, everyone.’ I hear Seth’s voice vaguely from behind me. ‘Party’s over. Let’s go!’

  ‘Do I have to go?’ Billy Fever calls out from where he’s been watching everything unfold, still on the stage.

  ‘You too, buster,’ I hear Olive say.

  Billy frowns and gives me a sympathetic wave as he trails out of the garden, along with the rest of the reluctant-to-leave crowd.

  ‘You need to fucking tell me what this is, Nora,’ Gary says, pointing at his phone as Seth and Olive begin to shepherd the party guests out of the doors. ‘I swear to god, you need to explain what the fuck is going on right now.’

  I swallow and take a m
oment to find my voice. He deserves to hear the truth. I need to tell it.

  ‘I… It’s true,’ I choke out eventually. ‘Sort of. I was at the set that day. And I was the person who fell into the cement at the Chinese Theatre. But… I wasn’t trying to attack you, I swear. I love you.’

  ‘Oh my gosh,’ I hear Kennedy murmur from beside me.

  ‘Oh shit,’ Imogene echoes.

  Gary just screws his face up and looks completely confused.

  ‘I didn’t want to cause you any hurt,’ I continue, taking a step towards him.

  He takes a step back, Tori, clutching onto his arm so that he, Tori and Aileen are all sort of hanging on to each other.

  ‘I came to LA to find you. I saw you in Justice of The Peace and I knew I had to meet you. To see if what I was feeling was genuine, if you might respond to me in the same way I did to you. And if you didn’t, then I would have left you alone forever, I really would have. I was going to. But… I think you do feel the same way. Today… We…’

  ‘You… you came to LA to find me?’ Gary looks utterly horrified, his mouth open in disbelief. ‘After seeing me in a fucking movie?’

  I nod, tears springing to my eyes and blurring his face. I wipe them away furiously. ‘I know it sounds creepy and crazy, but it was never meant in that way,’ I tell him, willing him to believe me, to understand that my intentions were never bad. ‘When you see the person you think you’re meant to be with, what are you supposed to do? Nothing? I couldn’t do nothing. I had to see if what I was feeling was real. And then I saw how happy you were with Tori and I was ready to leave it be, I swear I was. But then today when you kissed me…’

  ‘You kissed her?’ Tori shrieks, breaking away from Aileen and Gary and pushing Gary in the chest. ‘You kissed another woman on the day of our engagement party? What the fuck!’

  When she pushes him in the chest again, Gary grabs Tori’s hand in his. ‘Stop! I didn’t want to hurt you. It was a mistake, clearly.’

  ‘After everything I’ve done for you?’ Tori cries, fully sobbing now.

  Oh my god. I have caused this absolute shitshow. This hurt, this pain. I am a bad, bad person.