All I've Waited For

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All I've Waited For Page 11

by Lindsay Harrel


  “And it’s going to stay that way.” He sighed. “I appreciate the concern, but I’ve got this figured out. Partnering with Claire is the only way for us both to get what we want.” The irony of saying that to Ashley slapped him upside the head.

  Because if he really let himself think about what he actually wanted, what his heart craved …

  “What does she get out of it?”

  “She’ll inherit her family’s vineyard once she’s married. Her grandpa isn’t well either.”

  Ashley’s hand stilled. “Derek, it’s not your job to fix this for your family.”

  “If not me, then who? You know you’d do the same thing for your family. I figured you, more than anyone, would understand.”

  “I—”

  “After all, you’re the one who’s sacrificing all her sleep, all her time, for things she doesn’t really want.”

  “That’s not true. I’m working hard so I can buy the business from Kyle.”

  “What about the festival? And the family reunion? And Ben’s wedding? Where do those fit into your dream?”

  Her eyes flashed. “I just love people. I want to make them happy.”

  “How’s that working out for you, huh? There’s a difference between loving people and being a doormat.” A tiny sliver of guilt pricked his heart as the words left his lips. “Sorry. That came out harsher than I intended.”

  “Sounded like exactly what you wanted to say.” She stood, her end of the quilt sliding off of her legs. “I am not a doormat, Derek Campbell. And I may be overbooked, but at least I’m not so focused on one thing to the detriment of all others.”

  “The other things don’t matter as long as the most important one is taken care of.”

  “So your heart doesn’t matter? What you want doesn’t matter?”

  “No.” He swallowed hard. “They don’t.”

  Mia turned in his arms but stayed asleep.

  For the second time that evening, Ashley’s shoulders deflated. She pressed her lips together, and her hands became fists at her side. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’re going to wake up someday and realize they matter very much. But by then, it’ll be too late.”

  Pivoting, she walked back inside the house.

  And with her exit, the clouds shifted overhead, covering the stars and shrouding the vineyard in darkness.

  Chapter 12

  Too bad cloning machines were not a thing. Because if there were two of her, Ashley might actually have a shot at finishing her to-do list this week.

  Kyle would be no help—he was out of town visiting his sister again. Probably keeping the idea of his niece as successor in his back pocket in case Ashley failed miserably.

  Which, at this rate? She just might.

  Rubbing her temples, she stared at her office computer. The proof for Ben and Bella’s invites had finally come through, and she needed to approve it ASAP if there were any chance of getting the invitations delivered in a timely fashion. But when she’d forwarded the email to Bella this morning, her future sister-in-law had texted back that she was in Los Angeles visiting her mom for the day and couldn’t see the print very well on her phone and could Ashley double-check the info and get it sent off?

  “There’s a difference between loving people and being a doormat.” Two days later and Derek’s words still stung. Things usually hurt the most when they smacked of truth.

  Maybe she really shouldn’t have said yes to so many things. Too late now. Besides, given the last-minute nature of the wedding, Ben and Bella’s timeline was already tight with the printer. The sooner they turned the proof around, the better.

  Enlarging the picture the printer had sent her, Ashley studied the details of the invitation. The font appeared to be the same loopy and formal selection Bella had made and—

  “I’m guessing you haven’t eaten yet today.”

  She glanced up to find Shannon in the doorway carrying a personal-size pizza box from Froggies, which her parents owned. “Does half a granola bar count?” Glancing at the clock, she grimaced. How was it three o’clock already? At this rate, she’d be here until ten or eleven, easy.

  “Nope.” Shannon stepped inside and shut the door behind her. Eyeing Ashley’s less-than-pristine desk, she quirked an eyebrow. “Where should I put this?”

  “Here.” Opening a desk drawer, Ashley swept a stack of files inside. “You’re a lifesaver.”

  After plopping the pizza box onto the now-empty spot, her cousin settled into the chair opposite the desk. “I thought I’d stop by on my way home from work since you weren’t at Baker Family Dinner last night. I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you too. And last night I had to run a twenty-fifth-anniversary party.” Truth be told, Ashley had been grateful for the excuse to avoid further questions from Bella after that embarrassing display in the inn’s courtyard four days ago. She opened the pizza box, steam puffing against her face as she breathed in the alluring scent of the best pizza on the West Coast. “How was work today?”

  “Oh, most of the same.” Shannon picked at what looked like a bit of glitter glue stuck to the sleeve of her casual black tunic dress. As a preschool teacher, her clothes had seen much worse. The job suited her perfectly, though. “But you know Noah Robinson?”

  Ashley snagged a piece of pizza from the pie and her stomach rumbled as she bit into it. Aah. Heavenly. “Yeah, of course.” One of Shannon’s favorite students, the five-year-old had lived with his grandma on the outskirts of town since his mom left early last year.

  Shannon tugged on a piece of her hair, her expression somber. “I found out today his grandma, Mary, has Alzheimer’s.”

  “How bad is it?” Ashley reached into her desk and pulled out a napkin from her emergency stash, then wiped her fingertips.

  “Her memory’s been questionable for a while now, so unfortunately, I’m not all that surprised. But last week there was an incident at the mall.” Shannon’s face contorted, like she was trying not to cry. “She left him behind in a store because she forgot he was with her. Social services got involved. Mary had a breakdown and got admitted to the hospital for observation.”

  “Oh, Shan. I’m sorry to hear that. What’s going to happen to Noah now?”

  “A neighbor with foster certification is watching him while Mary is in the hospital, but after that, I don’t know. He doesn’t have any other family around. Poor kid looked miserable at school today.”

  “I’m sure you’re a comfort to him, though. A constant.”

  Shannon got a faraway look in her eye before refocusing. “Anyway. I didn’t come by to discuss that. I’ve been trying to give you your space since I know you’re busy. But you aren’t answering my calls and texts, and this isn’t the first time I’ve stopped by—but it is the first time that you’ve actually been available.” She paused. “Is everything okay? It must be really hard to be the one in charge of Derek’s wedding. I know how you felt about him.”

  The pizza she’d just eaten sank in Ashley’s gut. “I’m fine. Really.”

  “I think you want to believe that, but the fact that we haven’t hung out in over two weeks tells me something is going on.” Shannon worried her bottom lip. “I talked to Bella last night …”

  Ashley slumped back in her chair. “Did she tell you what happened last week?”

  “No, just that she was concerned about you.” Shannon leaned forward. “Ash, you can talk to me, you know.”

  “Oh, I know that. But I don’t even know how I feel about everything that’s going on.”

  “With Derek, you mean?”

  Ashley nodded.

  “You don’t have to know. But as I tell my students on a regular basis, sometimes we have to talk things out to understand how we’re actually feeling.” A smile flitted over Shannon’s face. “And then of course I go into why that’s a better course of action than hitting or biting.”

  “Maybe I’d feel better if I bit someone.”

  They both laughed, but the levit
y was short-lived. Ashley sighed. “He doesn’t love his fiancée, Shannon.”

  “What do you mean?” Her cousin’s nose scrunched in confusion.

  Yeah, well, she wasn’t the only one.

  Ashley told Shannon about her and Derek’s conversation-turned-fight the other night at the vineyard. “The thing is, as much as I try not to, I still love him. And there are times when …” She huffed out a frustrated groan.

  “You think he loves you too?”

  “Yes!” She paused. “What do I do now? The only thing I can do is keep moving forward, right? Keep planning their wedding even though it’s like a knife in the gut every moment I think about it? I don’t think I can change his mind. And I shouldn’t want to. Maybe he’s right. Maybe this will save his family’s business. Maybe that is more important than love.”

  “You don’t really believe that.”

  “No, but he does. And that could just mean we’re too different to ever work out, anyway.” Ashley shut the lid of the box, trapping the unfinished pizza inside. “Maybe I’m in love with the pre-France Derek, and that man is gone.”

  Before Shannon could think of a reply, Ashley’s phone rang. Glancing at the caller ID, she stiffened. It was as if the caller had heard the confession from across the Atlantic.

  “I’ll let you get that.” Shannon stood. “I didn’t mean to keep you from your work for so long. But I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

  “Thanks, cuz. I really appreciate it. Same goes for you.”

  As Shannon slipped out the door, Ashley forced a smile. No, the caller wouldn’t be able to see it, but maybe the gesture would help infuse enthusiasm into her voice. “Hi, Claire. What can I do for you?”

  “Ashley, thank goodness. I need your help.”

  “Of course.” Her heart picked up speed at the panic in the other woman’s voice. Claire always seemed so put together. “What’s wrong?”

  “I had plans to return to town later this week, but complications have arisen and I cannot get back until next Monday.”

  “All right, well, that’s okay. Derek and I are taking care of all the details here, so you don’t—”

  “Non, you have not taken care of this detail. My dress, Ashley. They need at least a week for alterations, and I was going to be getting in just under the wire, as you say, but now, it will be impossible. And I cannot have a dress that does not fit, not for my wedding day.”

  “Oh.” That was a problem. “All right. Well, I’ll try to find another seamstress in town who can do the alterations in a few days’ time.”

  “I suppose that could work, but it makes me nervous.” A pause. “What size are you?”

  “Me?” The squeak fell from Ashley’s lips before she could stop it.

  “Yes. We are the same size, I believe. Close enough, anyway. Lucky thing you are tall.”

  “Wait, what do you mean?” Please don’t be what I think it is.

  The room suddenly felt extra warm.

  “You need to go to the boutique and stand in for my alterations. Oui, I think that will work.”

  “No, it might—”

  “Thank you, Ashley. You are a wonder. I need to run. Let me know if there are any issues. Au revoir.”

  Ashley pulled back the phone and stared at it. She really was a doormat, and apparently she was the last person in Walker Beach to realize it.

  After shooting an email back to the invitation printer approving the proof for Ben and Bella’s wedding, she placed a quick call to Brenda’s Bridal Boutique. Three hours later, Ashley was headed out the door for an early-evening appointment to get fitted for another woman’s wedding dress. Once she walked through the door, the bridal stylist and owner, Brenda, handed her a puffy white garment bag and pointed her toward a fitting room.

  Ashley stepped inside and unzipped the bag, pulling back the edges to reveal a gorgeous sheath dress with see-through sleeves, all of it covered in what she guessed was Calais lace. Disrobing, she then shimmied into the tight number, which hugged her upper half and then flowed off her hips into an elegant sweep train that pooled behind her. There was a bit of gaping under the arms, but maybe that would change once she had the stylist button it. Ashley placed a hand over the lace neckline, which revealed more than she’d normally have been comfortable with. But in this case, the effect was less Kim Kardashian and more Kate Middleton.

  It wasn’t what Ashley would have chosen for herself—probably something strappy, high waisted, and simple—but Claire had chosen well.

  Holding up the top part of the dress, Ashley left the changing room. Brenda helped her get buttoned, then directed her to stand on a small round dais ringed with mirrors. Other than her, Brenda, and the seamstress, there didn’t appear to be anyone else in the store. Thank goodness, or the Walker Beach rumor mill would be having a field day trying to figure out who Ashley Baker was marrying.

  The seamstress came out with a cushion full of pins. Her cat-eye glasses glinted under the bright lights as she got to work straightening out the train.

  Ashley swung her hair around the front and looked over her shoulder. Her eyes raked across the dress, which opened to reveal Ashley’s bare back.

  Claire would look perfect.

  Ashley’s legs began to tremble as the seamstress tucked and pinned for what seemed like an hour. In the background, the bell over the door rang and she heard Brenda talking to someone. Great. Maybe Carlotta Jenkins and the rest of Walker Beach would have their fill of gossip today after all.

  Finally, the seamstress pulled back, her expert eyes assessing her handiwork. She nodded. “You are done. Please remove the dress very carefully.”

  “Will do. Thanks.”

  The seamstress turned and clucked. “Are you the groom? Shame on you for looking! It’s bad luck, you know.”

  Ashley whipped around and nearly toppled from the dais. Derek stood off to the side, jaw tight, a tuxedo bag slung over his shoulder. His Adam’s apple bobbed.

  Ashley ran her hands down the lacy bodice, then stopped as Derek’s hypnotic gaze followed the motion.

  She forced a laugh. “I’m not sure it counts if he’s just seeing the dress, not the bride.”

  The seamstress lifted an eyebrow as she glanced between Derek and Ashley. “Could have fooled me.” She walked off, muttering to herself.

  “What are you doing here?” He strode toward her, stopping at the edge of the dais. For a moment, they were the same height, their faces inches apart.

  “Claire asked me to come in for alterations, since we’re the same size. No biggie.”

  “Right.” He grunted the word. “No biggie.”

  Was he mad at her for trying on Claire’s dress? They hadn’t spoken since their argument on Saturday night, and maybe this was one more thing he’d hold against her. Other feelings aside, she still had to live in this town with him after he was married—assuming he and Claire stayed put.

  Ashley lifted the hem of the gown and stepped down. “Hey, I wanted to apologize for the other night. You can marry whoever you want. And as your friend, I should support you. So.” She stuck out her hand. “Friends?”

  The air crackled as he blinked, like snapping out of some trance.

  “Yeah, sure.” His fingers closed around her palm. “Friends.”

  Friends?

  Baloney.

  He was still in love with Ashley Baker.

  The revelation had smacked him like a two-by-four the second he’d seen her in that wedding dress, and he still felt numb from the hit while he stood outside the dressing room as she changed back into her normal clothes and flip-flops.

  A stronger man would leave, but he stayed, leaning against the wall. Waiting. He took the opportunity to get his head on straight.

  Because, despite his deeper emotions, they were friends. Had been for years. Definitely he could choose to focus on that fact.

  Probably, at least.

  Ashley emerged, eyes bright and hair worn back.

  Friends. Friends.
r />   She pulled up short. “I didn’t expect you to still be here.”

  “Thought I could walk you wherever you’re going next.” He shrugged. “It’s dark out.” Real smooth.

  “It’s Walker Beach.” A smile teased her mouth. “But I appreciate the thought.” She headed out the door and he followed, the cool air a welcome relief after the heat he’d encountered in the bridal shop.

  Stopping at his Jeep, he tossed his purchased tuxedo inside. With its sharp edges and bow tie, the thing should have made him feel like Double O Seven, but he’d felt like a trussed-up penguin instead. “All right, you don’t need me to walk with you. But can I?” Great, he sounded desperate. “I want to apologize.”

  “Well, if you want to apologize, by all means.”

  Walking down the sidewalk between the buildings, they emerged onto the boardwalk and turned north. There were plenty of people out for an evening stroll, but not so many that it felt overly crowded. On instinct, he headed for the sand. They removed their flip-flops, hooking them over their fingers as they continued their trek down the beach.

  Moonlight reflected off the water, which pulsed onto the shore, lapping at their feet. The wet sand squished between his toes.

  “So, about this apology …”

  “I was just about to get to that, Miss Impatient.”

  Her giggles pealed over the water. “Anytime, then.”

  Derek leaned down and flicked some water up at her.

  She shrieked and jogged ahead out of the splash zone.

  He caught up. “I shouldn’t have called you a doormat, Ash.” Taking a deep breath, he considered his words. “I’m really sorry about that. You’re just a much nicer person than I am.”

  The stars gave enough light for him to catch the soft smile curving on her lips. “As much as I hate to admit it, I think there’s some truth in what you said. It’s something I’m going to try to work on.”

  “You don’t have to change, Ash. You’re perfect just the way you are.” Her quick look seared him. Okay, probably not the right thing to say. Friends, friends. “We all have areas where we can grow, of course. But maybe I was too quick to judge you.”

 

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