by Hayley Todd
I lifted my head from his chest gently, trying not to wake him and went in just my panties to the bathroom. I relieved myself before turning the shower dial, letting hot water fill the room with humidity.
I slipped my panties off and climbed in. The water felt exquisite across my skin, cleaning away the grime from the night before. Thinking on it, I was a little surprised Carson had let me go to sleep with blood all over me like that.
“You too, huh?” Came Carson’s voice, making me leap through the air in surprise. He wasn't looking at me and was facing away, running water in the bathroom sink. Looking down at his hands, I noticed a black wash cloth between his fingertips. He ran hot water over it, then dabbed at his neck and chest. His hair was tousled from sleep. He still had dark spots beneath his eyes and looked drowsy.
“Did I wake you?” I asked, feeling guilty.
He turned partially looking over his shoulder. I knew he could see me through the opaque glass but his eyes stayed trained on my face. “The absence of you did,” he responded with a smile. “It's fine.”
“I'm sorry,” I mumbled. I hesitated before extending the offer. “You can climb in if you want.” I hissed it in a rush, my face filling with blood.
He turned fully now, still not looking down, obviously making a conscious effort to maintain eye contact. His shoulders were tense and stiff. I hoped I hadn't offended him.
He shook his head, making me believe it was more to himself than an answer to my invitation. When his eyes met mine again, they were filled with a playful glee. “Do you think you could handle that?” He asked, chuckling.
Could I? I was so drawn to him. His body was a temptation in and of itself. I nodded without uttering a sound.
He grinned. I could see his lips spreading into a smile, even through the glass. He reached down, untying the drawstring on his sweatpants. Then he slid open the glass door, and stepped in behind me. I shifted out of his way, already mostly clean, allowing him to step into the spray of the water.
He moaned as it hit his skin, reveling in the warmth of it. Water splashed from his form, cascading off of his shoulder and back, lined with muscle.
I hadn't given myself permission to when I realized my fingers were running along the tense lines of muscle. He jerked, then froze, letting my hands wander along his back.
He made a half-hearted attempt to scrub himself with soap while I explored his skin. It was obvious that my touch had an effect on him. He was turned away from me and I was okay with this. I was riddled with tension. I wanted him and he knew it. But, it was obvious he had fought so hard to restrain himself from giving in to me. I wouldn't tease him in that regard.
I grabbed a bottle of shampoo, squeezing an amount onto my hand and reaching up, kneading it into his hair. Again, he froze for an instant when I touched him, then relaxed into my working fingers.
“So,” I began, trying to keep my voice light, unaffected. “What exactly are we doing today?”
He glanced down at me over his shoulder which nearly hid me from him altogether. He was much taller and broader than me, completely eclipsing my frame.
“Damien wants to introduce you to the Council. Officially, as his heir,” he replied, consciously turning away from me and scrubbing his skin with body wash.
His heir. I cringed. “So, does that officially make me a princess then?” I asked with a laugh. His eyes met mine again over his shoulder.
“You've always been a princess,” he said bluntly, not wasting time to elaborate.
“You said you've worked with Damien for years,” I began; he hummed an affirmative in response. “What do you do for him?”
He laughed, running his fingers through his hair. I think he had forgotten about the soap because his hand came away with suds. “A better question would be what don't I do for him. I am his problem handler. In vampire society, as a hybrid, I'm considered a floater, however I have always pledged my loyalty to Damien. If he needs something done, I do it. Like babysitting his alluring daughter.” He gave me a serious look. “He wouldn't be pleased with how I've handled that task so far.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don't even know the man. I don't think that he gets to play the protective father after all these years. I'm old enough to make my own decisions.”
He suddenly turned, startling me. I lurched back, my feet sliding across the slippery tub floor. He gripped my upper arms with his hands, balancing me. His naked body was startlingly near to me.
“He loves you, you know,” he muttered, seriously. His thumb strummed my upper arm. “He's always loved you. Even if it seems hard to believe.”
I scoffed. “It's hard to believe after being raised by my cousins and being an orphan for the majority of my life. He could've saved me at any time. I don't recall him ever being my knight in shining armor.” I was bitter and I realized how misplaced that anger might be, but that didn't quash the hurt and disappointment of my soul. I had had a father, all of this time. He could have saved me at any time. He could have loved and cared for me at any time. But he hadn't.
His eyes narrowed on me, almost angry. “You know he couldn't be with you, right?”
I rolled my eyes.
He grabbed my shoulders, hard, forcing me to face him. “He really couldn't, Kyra. What he did was for you. I know it seems hard to believe but I watched him agonize over those decisions for the entirety of your life. I watched him have to leave your mother, have to leave you. He's never even seen you until watching you as a bloody pulp in that hospital bed. You have no idea how much that hurts him.”
I felt the truth of the words. I knew there were circumstances I simply didn't understand that had urged my life along a certain course until now. It just didn't help wash away the struggle, the pain. It was rough being a teenage girl and wondering why her father had never wanted her.
“He made an agreement with Henrick, Anton’s father,” he began while lifting the bottle of body wash to his hand, drizzling out a dollop and massaging it into my shoulder and neck. The spot below my ear was tender.
I lifted my hand and touched his skin where I had bitten him. His eyes met mine curiously but he didn't flinch. “It still hurts a little,” I whispered.
He smiled. “I think I heal faster than you. I'm sorry that I hurt you.” He leaned down to me and pressed his lips to the mostly healed wound. A shiver ran down my spine despite the hot water pouring over us.
My fingers lingered along the spot that used to sport puncture wounds. I could feel his heartbeat thrum under my fingers. My mouth watered.
“Go ahead,” he mumbled, leaning down till I could easily reach the spot.
I leaned away from him, meeting his eyes. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. I didn't argue with him and simply sank my fangs into the spot again. His warm blood pulsed through me again. The ecstasy was a different experience standing like this, face to face, beneath the running water. It was electrifying but I maintained my composure. My palms ran across the skin of his chest but I refused to allow myself to push him forward. And after a moment, I released him and leaned back.
He looked at me, his eyes filled with awe.
“What?” I asked, tenderly wiping his blood from my lips. I reached up to his neck and cleaned the wound there too, which was already shrinking.
He grinned at me. “You're getting better at this.” He grabbed my chin, pressing a hard, needy kiss to my lips, but then stepped away, dipping his head under the water raining down.
I was breathless for a moment, my fingers brushing my lips and feeling the heat of his still pressed there. He had sounded impressed, proud of me even. I beamed.
He washed the rest of the shampoo from his hair, then stepped out, pulled a towel from the rack and drying himself quickly. My eyes quite inappropriately roved his form while his back was turned. He was all lean, tight muscle. He seemed at ease, even naked, confident, and sexy.
He turned to continue speaking to me and my eyes shot away. My cheeks burned with embarrassment. “Y
ou seem well. Even after me feeding and...that,” I said. My mind spun with images of what we had done last night before he stopped us.
He smiled, so genuine and handsome. “I gorged myself. When I left you here alone last night, I borrowed a few party-goers and topped myself off.” My eyes went wide and I knew he had an idea of what I was thinking. “I didn't hurt anyone, aside from my bite,” he continued quickly. “I was fine with you taking what you needed.”
I finished rinsing myself while he spoke and from the corner of my eye, I could see him dressing himself in a pair of black dress slacks and a deep red shirt. He must've invaded Will’s closet before he'd come in here.
“Then, why did you bite back?” I asked, not sure if I wanted to know the answer or not. My skin felt hot as I climbed out of the shower, pulling my air dried towel from where it had been hung.
His fingers found my chin, tilting my head to his, his eyes staring deeply into mine. “Because, I couldn't resist you. I was high from feeding and I...just couldn't stop myself.” He seemed almost ashamed, his eyes darting to the side and releasing me.
I watched him while I towel dried. “You managed to stop though,” I supplied, remembering him lurching away from me and watching me like some sort of wild animal whose actions he couldn't predict.
He ran his hands through his damp hair in exasperation. “You have no idea how difficult that was.” He said the admission as almost a moan, like it pained him. “You...put strains on my self-control.”
I smiled at him, the words not funny but filling my belly with a feeling of warmth. “So, tell me more about what I'm walking into,” I requested, finishing my dry job and walking back out to my bedroom. He was obviously ignoring my nakedness. Just as I passed him, I lowered my voice, speaking softly. “Thank you for being honest with me.”
He nodded his response and continued to speak while I swept around the room, picking clothes and dressing for the day. “Damien made a deal with Henrick when your mother started showing. Henrick had been attempting power grabs for the past century at least and an heir was his perfect opportunity to swoop in and take over. Damien agreed to give Henrick, and therefore Anton, his attempt at the crown in exchange for allowing you to live your human life. Henrick included the stipulation that should you find out about us, you would be forced to make the choice to change and if you survived, you were left with only two options.”
“Either marry Anton and give him heirs, or challenge him in a duel,” I mumbled, knowing the rest of this story.
Carson’s eyes flashed angrily for a moment, whether at the implication that I would carry Anton’s children or at the mention of having to fight him, I wasn't sure. He nodded.
“So, I can get a cop-out and marry someone I don't love and give him children to secure his reign, or I can risk my life to try and take him down?” I asked. His eyes widened ever so slightly at the word “children” and it was almost comical to know that the thought of me carrying another man’s child seemed to bother him more than the idea of me risking my life to defeat that man.
He shrugged, and replied, “More or less.”
I was dressed now, brushing my hair into long waves. “So, what is this whole Council meeting regarding?” I asked. I wore a burgundy dress and black heels. The dress went to my ankles, sporting a long slit up one thigh. It didn't precisely have sleeves but had lacing strands of red fabric that zigzagged around my arms, coming to a ring wrapped around my middle finger on each hand. The dress was low cut, dropping below my breasts midway to my belly button and also sported red fabric, laced through holes to create lattice along my cleavage.
Carson stood by the door, arms crossed, waiting patiently. “Like I said earlier, Damien wants to introduce you to your people as his daughter and heir. Every good ruler must have the respect of their people.”
I gathered my purse and checked its contents to insure they included my phone and keys. They were there, neatly tucked inside. I then sauntered over to him. He opened the bedroom door for me, ushering me out. “How long do I have?” I asked, looking around the room to find it absent of Anton’s presence.
“Damien’s bargain stipulates that you have six months to learn to be a vampire. You have six months to prepare to make this decision. I'm certain he's trying to extend that time period but bargains struck between vampires aren't broken lightly.” He held his arm out and I laced mine through his, realizing for the first time that the color of my dress matched his shirt.
“Twins,” I mumbled, staring down at the matching fabric.
He laughed. “Your dad is going to kill me,” he said, still smiling.
The thought felt out of place in my mind. The idea that not only did I have a dad to be protective and disapproving, but also that he may be scrutinizing the relationship building between Carson and myself burned in me. I was momentarily angry that he felt he could dictate anything that I did.
“Why are you here?” I asked, opening the apartment door and checking the lock as we stepped into the stairwell.
“I chose to be here. I wanted to be the one to protect you from that animal,” he growled. He obviously meant Anton but I wasn't certain on what exactly he thought Anton might do in his absence.
“Why do you need to protect me from him?” I asked, taking the steps down to the second door at the base of the steps.
“Because there was another stipulation in the bargain that Damien had anticipated being unnecessary.” He opened the door for me and I could see Anton lingering at the bar over the railing. He had a glass in front of him and was knocking back sips of what looked like whiskey.
“And that was?” I watched Anton warily. I hadn't known him well when Tyler had hired him, but I felt dirty knowing now what he already had known about me.
Carson heaved a heavy sigh, obviously dreading the words. “If he were to impregnate you prior to the ceremonies, you're his.” I gasped, sputtering and coughing from spittle that had launched down my windpipe. He helped me right myself before continuing. “It was Henrick’s stipulation for allowing you to stay in the dark until you naturally found out. That was the hard play for him. The sooner you entered this world, the sooner he could obtain power. The pregnancy would also solidify his--and Anton’s--place in the hierarchy. You would be carrying the heir regardless of wins or loses.”
I was shocked, my heart hammering against my chest. I looked at Anton in an even darker light. “So, you won't give him the chance to take advantage of a loophole…” I whispered, trailing off, realizing for the first time that the position I was in opened me up to a lot of enemies.
Carson’s hand looped around mine. “I would never,” he hissed, his fingers tightening around mine.
I looked up at him. He was staring down at Anton with fury on his face. “So, you're Damien’s watchdog then?” I asked. His eyes shot to me, hurt. I knew the words were harsh but I was beginning to feel like the prize bitch in a brood of award winning dogs.
When he finally spoke, his jaw was tight and the words were clipped. “I don't protect you for him. I protect you for myself. I protect you for you. I would never let them take away your freedom.”
Things started falling into place in my memories. “Raoul…” I began, struggling to spit the name out. “That's why you were there that night. You've been watching me.”
He laughed but there was no humor in the sound. “I've been watching you your entire life. This was the first time I'd had to openly step in, but I've always been there, protecting you.”
I wasn't sure if I should feel creeped out or flattered. At the moment I felt a bit of both. If he had been around me my entire life, that meant he knew me a hell of a lot better than I knew him.
There was a long stretch of silence. I knew we should get going but my heart hurt. I felt naive and afraid and tricked.
“Henrick insisted Anton be placed at the club when the opening steps began. He had grown impatient. I think their plan was for Anton to befriend and woo you, eventually exposing you to this world
and already assuring your alliance by manipulation. Fortunately, you barely even acknowledged him. That must've stung his personal pride.”
The words made sense. It all made sense. I recalled Anton frequently being nearby but I had always just assumed it was business. He was Tyler’s right hand. Or so I'd thought. Now I couldn't help but wonder if Tyler had been manipulated or bribed as well.
I momentarily felt bad for ignoring someone who was apparently so eagerly trying to draw my attention. Then the idea of acknowledging him and falling into his and his father’s plot infuriated me and made me feel disgusted. I looked on an unknowing Anton with fury.
“And exactly what stake do you have in the wedding?” I asked, trying hard to bury my confusion and pain over Carson’s admission.
He looked at me and I could’ve fallen into those deep green eyes. There was a hurt and pain there deeper than I had ever seen. I ached for him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, drawing him near to me.
He hesitated before folding his arms behind my back. He rested his cheek against my hair. “I-I couldn’t let him have you,” he replied after several moments. I pulled away to look at him. I could feel his pain as though it were my own.
“Why?” I inquired, barely a whisper.
He couldn’t look at me. His eyes swiveled to the drunkard below. “I can’t tell you,” he gasped at last. His face had gone pale.
A stab of shame pierced me. I knew this was hurting him. I knew he would buckle. I could feel it in my bones. I knew if I pushed just a little harder, he would break and he would admit his deepest secret to me. But it would kill him.
He finally met my gaze and his emerald green eyes begged me to stop. He finally spoke, “Please...don’t. Not yet,” he begged.
I shared that desperate gaze with him for a moment longer, before looked back at Anton and the fury I felt at him came swarming back.