Darlings of Decay

by Chrissy Peebles

  “Please don’t tell him,” she whispered.

  We were interrupted by a woman who pushed her way in to our conversation. “You here for that miracle drug?” She was a chubby woman in her mid-forties standing behind me. A quick glance, and from my experience and time in Weight Watchers, I knew she had to be at least eighty pounds overweight.

  “Yes. You too?” I asked.

  “Hell no. I’m perfect just the way I am.” Hands on her hips, her purple and red muumuu fluttering around her thick ankles as she glared at me, daring me to call her out. I smiled and bit my tongue. She continued her rant. “And all you yahoos coming in for some quick-fix are going to get what’s coming to you. There’s no such thing; it’s ridiculous to think one shot can do all that. Fertility, heart stuff, making bones stronger—foolishness that you’ve all bought into.”

  Shelly and Jessica backed away from the woman, and I gave them a smile as I, too, gave the riled-up woman some room.

  “Come over for coffee,” I said over the muumuu woman’s head. “And we can get to know each other. Anytime, I would love some company.”

  Shelly and Jessica smiled and they gave me identical thumbs up. This was one of the nice things about where we lived. Yes, we were in the country, but there were still neighbours close enough if you needed some sugar or a helping hand, or maybe just a cup of coffee with the local gals. I smiled to myself. I loved it here; the island was everything I’d hoped for.

  “Mara Wilson?” The desk nurse called me and I followed her directions into the doctor’s room, happy to get away from the woman on her tirade. I glanced back and she hadn’t paused for a second, now laying into a pudgy teenager on the other side of the hall. The doctor’s room was close enough that I could still hear her with the door not completely closed, her voice rising with intensity.

  “Exercise and diet. Kids, when I was young, were outside playing and working. None of this TV and computer crap.” There was a pause and I imagined a nurse speaking to her. “No, I will not lower my voice; I think you all have lost your minds. This is some government conspiracy to plug you all full of tracking devices and drugs so they can better control us.”

  I shook my head, why couldn’t she just let us be? It was obvious she was delusional. She could use the shot and lose a few pounds, and she’d probably live longer. There was a large thump that rattled the wall and made me jump. Then came a god-awful screech that sounded like a parrot being strangled, followed by a dull cheer from the crowd. “You can’t kick me out!” the woman screamed. “I have an appointment!”

  Ejection from a doctor’s office, that had to be a first. I laughed at the absurdity of her claims. Health Canada and the FDA wouldn’t allow a drug to be given to the masses if it hadn’t been tested. They knew it was safe and there was no way it could get to the public unless it was good to go.

  “Hello, Mara.” Dr. Cooper stepped into the office, his grey hair and stooped shoulders making me wonder how much longer I would be able to go to him.

  “Hi, Dr. Cooper.” I smiled, unable to suppress my emotions. This was it; this was the moment I’d been waiting for.

  “I suppose you’re here for the Nevermore shot?” His face held a mask of concentration.

  I smiled wider, my excitement spilling over into my words. “Yup. It’s perfect! I can lose the last of the weight that you said I should to be at an optimum size for getting pregnant, and the shot will make me more fertile, right? That’s what I heard on the radio and when I looked it up on the internet, it confirmed that. And then maybe Sebastian should get it too? Because you weren’t sure if the fertility issues were with him or me, we could both take it and then we’d be sure to get pregnant, right? Sorry about the pun—I’m so happy; I can’t believe this is finally going to happen. I’m going to be able to have a baby.”

  Dr. Cooper didn’t answer me right away; his eyes stared at the screen of his computer as he scrolled through it, page by page.

  “Dr. Cooper? This is a good thing, right?” A wave of fear rolled up through my body, trepidation I couldn’t push away. God, don’t let Sebastian’s pessimistic view be the truth; what if this was all a hoax? No, there were too many people in the waiting room. If it were a hoax, it’d be all over the internet and news.

  “Mara, the drug does all that and more. Strengthens bones, prevents skin cancer, and increases fertility. Parkinson’s and arrhythmias are virtually wiped out. It truly is a miracle, of that I have no doubt, and I’m encouraging as many patients as possible to take it.”

  I let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding in a huge sigh of relief, my heart slowing back to a normal rhythm. I folded my hands on the desk and leaned forward. “You scared me. I thought you were going to tell me it was a hoax. That’s what Sebastian thought it was, some scam to get money out of people.”

  Dr. Cooper shook his head, but he still wasn’t smiling, and that made me nervous all over again. “It’s no hoax, Mara, but my dear, you can’t take the shot.”

  A loud buzzing filled my ears, and though Dr. Cooper continued to talk, I couldn’t hear a word he said. I blinked once, twice, as I grasped what he said. “Why not?” I whispered.

  He let out deep sigh and pulled my hands into his, cupping them like a grandfather would. “Nevermore is derived from cystius scoparius.”

  I stared at him, confusion rushing through me. “I don’t know what that is. Is it bad?”

  “Scotch broom. The concentrate within the drug would kill you at worst, and at best you would be in a constant state of agony, hives, sinus infections, swollen glands, and hypersensitivity to the mildest of irritations. There have even been some reported cases where people who were allergic to broom took Nevermore and now they’ve lost their eyesight.” He squeezed my suddenly ice-cold hands. “You can’t take Nevermore, Mara.”

  My mind whirled, hopes thrown about in a tornado of emotions before they crashed and burned. I pulled my hands slowly away from him and folded my arms across my breasts, at a loss for words.

  Dr. Cooper leaned back in his chair and slid a sheet toward me. “Here’s the chemical breakdown, Mara. Every aspect of the broom has been used in this drug, not just part of it.”

  “Why are you giving this to me?” I tried to keep the venom welling up within me out of my voice, my hand gripping the paper tightly, almost to the point of crumpling.

  “Because I know you, Mara. I know how much you want children, and how hard you’ve worked to lose the weight that was preventing that dream. I know that you’re going to try and find a way around this, and I don’t want you to die. There is no way around this.” His voice was so soft, gentle, that it broke down the last barrier of strength I’d propped up, and a sob slipped out.

  “I’m so sorry, Mara,” he said.

  I bit back the next sob that was bubbling up. I stood and ran to the door, pushing past the horde of people that filled the hallway, running till I reached my car. I leaned against it, head against the hot metal, and let my heart slow down. It wasn’t the end of the world; it really didn’t make it any harder for Sebastian and me to have a baby. At least, that’s what I told myself.

  “Got the shot did you?” a rather familiar voice threw the question at me.

  I spun on my heel to face down the chubby woman who’d been tossed out of the clinic. “Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I didn’t,” I snapped at her, forcing back the urge to punch her in her doughy face.

  She nodded. “Smart girl. I’ll tell you now, it was the best decision you ever made. The government won’t get you now.” She reached out and patted me on the arm. I shrugged her hand off me and bit my tongue, the four-letter words on the tip that would leave me screaming and ranting at the unsuspecting woman.

  I unlocked the car, slid into my seat, and started the engine. The rear view mirror gave me a perfect picture of the purple muumuu waddling through the parking lot, the woman on her way to accost another person leaving the clinic.

  “It wasn’t a choice I made; it was
a choice taken from me,” I whispered to her retreating figure. I took a deep breath and headed home to Sebastian and the farm.

  4

  Days turned into weeks and before I knew it, I’d spent the next month alternately hiding in our tiny bedroom, watching daytime talk shows and, in general, allowing myself to fall back into the depression that had found me after the miscarriage.

  I told Sebastian I didn’t feel well, had a fever, my joints ached—anything that would give me time to hide from the world for a little longer. The sunlight hurt my eyes on the few days I dared to peek out into the yard, and that became yet another excuse. Sebastian did his best to console me when he wasn’t working on his new client’s project. He brought me flowers from the fields, told me funny stories, and even baked cookies for me, something he’d never done before.

  On the twenty-eighth day of my—self-imposed—confinement, a booming rattle shook me awake, the bedroom door flinging open.

  “That’s it, I’ve been patient and done what I could, but you’ve got to get up,” Sebastian barked as he whipped the blankets off me.

  “Leave me alone,” I grumbled, grabbing at the blankets.

  He snatched them out of my hands. “Nope, time to grow up and get with the program.”

  Bright sunlight streamed into the room as he opened all the curtains. “There’s no use crying over something you can’t change.” He sat down on the bed and pulled me upright to sit beside him.

  “It isn’t fair,” I said, hating how childish I sounded. “Every crackhead and addict out there can get pregnant, and they can’t even take care of themselves. We would be able to give a child a life, a family, and a home.”

  Sebastian nodded. “I know, babe, but you’re not doing yourself any good by wallowing in this.”

  I frowned at him. “I’m not wallowing.”

  “Yes, you are. I have something for you; it’s down in the garden, so you’ll have to haul your butt down there. I’ve got to go into town; I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

  I stood and stomped my way to the bathroom, brushing past him. “What do you know anyway, you’re just a man; you don’t have an internal clock like I do,” I snapped as I turned on the shower and got in the steaming water.

  Stupid male, what did he know about really wanting babies? Or losing weight for that matter? The man thought he was a Greek god with the way he strutted through the house naked, preening in front of mirrors. I snorted to myself. My anger faded as I worked the soap through my hair, the hot water rinsing away the last of the tears. Damn, now I was feeling grateful for his intervention. I’d have to be careful about how I thanked him, or I’d never hear the end of it.

  Fifteen minutes later, I was heading out the back door to the garden when a soft woof met my ears. I blinked, stared, and couldn’t believe what I saw. Sitting next to the freshly dug earth, with a giant red ribbon tied around its neck, was a tiny yellow Labrador Retriever.

  I clapped my hands over my mouth and the puppy woofed at me and started to wiggle, his entire body wagging as if his tail alone wasn’t enough. I ran and fell to my knees in front of the little guy, scooping him up and holding him close as he licked my face, his still-sweet puppy breath tickling me.

  “Oh, you devil of a man,” I said as I cuddled the bundle of fur. “What are we going to call you, hmm?” I rubbed his velvety soft ears and he settled down, resting his nose on the crook of my neck. I pressed my cheek against him. “How about Nero?” I’d grown up with a big yellow Lab that my grandparents had rescued and he’d been my companion and best friend for years.

  A voice called from the front of the house, “Hello? Mrs. Wilson?”

  Standing up, Nero in my arms, I walked around the house to see Jessica carrying a basket filled to the brim. She smiled at me over the basket, her eyes lighting on Nero.

  “You’ve got a puppy? Oh, he’s so cute. Can I hold him?” I handed him to her as she handed me the basket of goodies.

  “It’s a belated welcome-to-our-neighbourhood gift,” Jessica said as she snuggled with the wriggling puppy.

  “Thank you, that’s really sweet.” I placed the basket on the porch railing. “Do you want to go for a walk with me and Nero?”

  Jessica nodded and put him down. We headed out the front drive, past the heavy iron gates that had hung for as long as the property had existed. They were heavy and sturdily built when the farm first was started. Each panel was taller than me, and easily weighed a hundred pounds. The supports were cemented into the ground on either side, and there was a huge rusting metal bar that slipped into place to lock it. Scrolling leaves and grape clusters were welded on in an attempt to soften the hard steel lines, to make it look more artistic than utilitarian. It didn’t work that well. At the best of times, it was a major effort to close the thing, which is why we left it open, and why the bar was nearly covered in vegetation.

  Jessica chatted at me the entire time, her bubbly personality yet another stamp of her mothers. I didn’t mind; she was a sweet girl. I wondered several times why she’d taken the Nevermore shot; she didn’t seem to need to lose weight, but I didn’t think it was a question I could ask her. Maybe when her mother came over for coffee I would broach the subject.

  Jessica pointed out the neighbours who were nice, weird, and neutral quite effectively. As we passed one house we could hear shouting from inside, then a crash of something heavy. I glanced at Jessica, and she shrugged.

  “They’re always fighting. We all just ignore it.”

  I couldn’t help but stare backwards as we kept moving past the house. The shrieks rose to a crescendo, and then stopped suddenly. I shivered, a feeling of dread creeping along my skin. Once we were fully past that home, Jessica continued her tour of the area.

  Though the properties around here ranged in size, they averaged at five acres a piece with a few undeveloped properties scattered around. On our road alone there were only four homes; the roads on either side of us boasted two and three, respectively. With being this rural, it was almost like being in our own little world. If not for T.V and internet, the world could end and we probably wouldn’t even know it.

  Which was just fine by me, I like the quiet.

  The walk took us about an hour, and by the end of it, I was packing Nero. I didn’t mind; he was tiny, and the walk and visit left me feeling invigorated and more alive than I’d felt in weeks.

  “Hey, that was fun. Would it be okay if I came and walked with you and Nero again?” Jessica asked as we stood in front of my place.

  “Of course, anytime, you don’t need to call. I’m not going back to work for a while yet so just pop in.”

  Jessica waved and jogged off toward home.

  The car was back which meant that Sebastian was home. I smiled and headed toward the house. I didn’t care how grateful I sounded or how he might try to blackmail me with it later, he was a good man and I was lucky to have him.

  “Sebastian?” I called out, Nero sound asleep in my arms. I wanted to apologize for being a jerk.

  “Here.”

  I clutched Nero close and kissed the top of his down-soft head, and made my way to the living room where Sebastian sat glued to the TV.

  “Really? After the talk you just gave me about not wallowing and being out in the sunshine?” I said, tapping him on the shoulder. “I can’t believe you bought me a—”

  “Shhh,” he cut me off and pointed to the TV.

  On the screen was a reporter standing in front of VGH, Vancouver General Hospital. “It appears that the miracle drug, Nevermore, wasn’t such a miracle after all. Early reports are that the toxins thought to be strained out of the main component of the drug—cystius scoparius, better known as scotch broom—were not eliminated.” The reporter choked up, her eyes misting over, and I wondered if she had taken the drug or knew someone close to her who had. “The toxins attack the part of the brain that makes us human, whole sections of the cerebral cortex are eaten away until there is nothing left but a base animal instinct.”
Someone stumbled out of the hospital and the reporter turned and ran toward the man who clutched at his stomach. “Sir, can you tell us why you’re here today?”

  “I’m so hungry, I can’t stop eating. Nothing fills me up.” His eyes were glazed and his skin had a strong golden yellow hue to it, as if he were jaundiced.

  “Sir, did you take the drug Nevermore?” she asked, sticking the microphone close to the man.

  He stared at the microphone for a moment, opened his mouth to answer, and chomped his teeth around the fuzzy piece, growling and snarling. The sounds sent chills all over my body. The reporter backed away, the cameraman keeping tabs on the man attempting to devour the microphone. Then he looked up, right into the camera. His pupils twitched as the camera focused in on them, sliding from a perfect, human round, to a horizontal rectangle, reminiscent of a goat’s eye.

  I gasped and grabbed for Sebastian’s hand. He gave it to me and I clung to him. That could have been me if I’d taken the shot—would have been me if not for the main ingredient. I pressed my nose into Nero’s fur and breathed in his scent as Sebastian’s hand went clammy in mine.

  The man stood and opened his mouth. I couldn’t tell if he was trying to speak or if he was roaring at the camera. By the cameraman’s reaction, he was roaring. The scene jigged and jogged as the cameraman and the reporter fled, but in her heels and tight business skirt, the reporter wasn’t fast enough. The camera turned in time to see her get tackled from behind, her body slamming into the ground under the weight of the Nevermore man.

  He reared up and slammed his mouth into her back, ripping a chunk of flesh as if she were a loaf of bread. Her screams were audible from whatever mic was left on the camera, then the camera was dropped and the screen scrambled, and then went black.

  “That wasn’t for real,” I said, though I knew already in my gut that it was. It was like watching a hurricane rip apart a house. You didn’t think it was possible, didn’t think they would air it, but in your heart you knew it wasn’t staged.