by L A Cotton
“How do you think?”
“Sorry, stupid question.”
“Relax, I’m just busting your balls.” I chuckled.
“You’re a real asshole sometimes.” He ran a hand down through his hair.
“Takes one to know one. You visiting your family in Bay View?”
“Yeah. We’re actually heading back later, so I wanted to stop by and see you. I’m sorry for just dropping in unannounced.”
“No, you’re not.”
“No, I’m really not.” His mouth curved into a smug smirk. “I knew if I called ahead, you’d tell me to take a hike.” Silence settled over us, and then he blew out a strained breath. “I’m so fucking sorry, Rick.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“When we got the call, I couldn’t believe it. Not you. Not the infallible Maverick Prince.”
“Nobody is infallible, Messiah.”
“No, I guess they’re not. If anyone can pull through this though, it’s you.”
“That’s what everyone keeps saying.”
He grimaced, and the air turned thick around us. “Sorry, I bet you’ve heard that one too many times.”
“Something like that. People mean well but they don’t get it.”
“They don’t know what it’s like to lose the dream,” he said quietly.
I smiled at that; I couldn’t help it. He thought I was cut to the bone about losing basketball, and that was a part of it, yeah. But I was more worried about the girl standing outside the room, about what it meant for our future.
“The dream isn’t over until they tell me with absolute certainty that I’ll never walk again.” My chest tightened so I took a slow, deep breath, trying to relax. Miller was big on breathing exercises, and that fucker really knew his stuff because my muscles slowly began to relax.
“No matter what, you’ll always be my captain. And if you don’t make it to the court next season, we’ll go out there and win for you.”
“Thanks, man. That means a lot.”
“I got your back, Prince. Just like you’ve always had my back.” He held out his fist and I touched mine to it, giving him an appreciative nod.
“How’s Zach?”
“Zach?” Declan frowned.
“Yeah, it was good to meet him the other week.”
“He’s okay. Pain in my ass like he’s always been.” Something flashed in his eyes.
“What is—” My legs began jerking uncontrollably, my trunk muscles locking up. Fear snaked through me as I watched my limbs spasm and twitch.
“Get the nurse,” I barked roughly at Declan. He blanched before scrambling out of the chair and hurrying from the room.
Lo slipped inside, her eyes going wide when she saw the state of me.
“Keep him out,” I snapped. I didn’t need an audience for this, whatever this was.
A nurse appeared a second later. “Okay, Maverick, just try to relax.”
Zero fucking chance of that. My body was in control, not me. She came over and flexed my legs... and I felt nothing except the tremors of the spasm zipping up my body.
“What the fuck is happening?” I ground out.
“Muscles spasms,” she said as if it was the most normal thing in the world. “It’s completely normal, but can be a little scary the first time it happens. Just try to relax and ride it out.” She continued stretching my legs.
“Is there something you can do?”
“There’s medication, yes. But sometimes it isn’t required.”
I arched a brow at her, watching as she flexed my toes back and forth, the way you might if you had muscle cramp. It was so fucking strange watching her manhandle my limbs and feeling nothing.
After a minute or so, they finally calmed down. “I’m going to let your PT know, okay?” she said matter of factly. I preferred Nurse Jennifer, but she had other patients to deal with.
“If it happens again, just hit the buzzer.” She left without so much as a smile, and Lo rushed to my side.
“Are you okay?” She pushed the hair from my eyes.
“I want to lie and tell you I’m fine, but I’m not.” My voice cracked as she touched her head to mine. “I’m really fucking not.”
“Ssh, I’m right here.” Lo ghosted her mouth over mine. At first, I tensed, unsure this was a good idea. But the second her tongue slipped between my lips and found my own, I was a goner.
I didn’t only want Lo by my side.
I needed her.
I needed her in a way that I needed air to breathe.
Because despite my earlier misgivings about burdening her with this, the truth was, without her, I wasn’t sure I’d survive it.
And that fucking terrified me.
Chapter Thirteen
Lo
“Does this feel wrong to you?” I whispered to Summer as we sat in her parents’ yard, enjoying the hot summer sun. Gentry was at the grill, lost in a cloud of smoke, while my dad and grandpa hovered around him with sage words of advice.
“They’re just trying to keep busy. And you’ve been spending so much time at the hospital, it’s nice to see you doing something normal.”
“Summer...”
“I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.” Guilt filled her expression. “I just meant—”
“I know.” I squeezed her hand.
“How is he, really?”
It was a hard question to answer. After that day when he’d experienced his first muscle spasms, Maverick had hit a low ebb again. The spasms had become more frequent but didn’t bring any extra sensation.
He was frustrated and scared. Despite the doctors and Miller repeatedly telling him he needed to give it time, Maverick was counting off every day like it was one step closer to the news none of us wanted for him.
That the damage was permanent.
“It’s a slow process.”
“And Maverick isn’t exactly Mr. Patient.”
“No, he isn’t.” We shared a weak smile.
“But it’s good that he has you.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I was there all the time still, but I had this constant pit in my stomach, as if I was waiting for him to change his mind and decide it was too much to see me day in day out.
But we never talked about it.
If anything, we talked about life after rehab less and less.
“Lo, did you take a look at those brochures I sent you?” Rebecca asked, joining us at the table. It had taken its toll on Maverick’s mum. In true Rebecca Stone-Prince fashion, she’d turned to planning. She wanted to get the pool house and first floor of their house renovated to accommodate Maverick’s needs.
I’d managed to hold her off until now, but I knew she was going to start making decisions soon with or without mine and Maverick’s input.
“He doesn’t want to—”
“Rebecca,” Uncle Gentry called, “not today, you promised.”
She let out a little huff. “But it’s been almost two months. He’ll be home before you know it and I want to make sure life is as easy as possible for him. The doctor said—”
“Actually,” I said. “I’ve been thinking that maybe we could look at getting a new place in Steinbeck and I’ll take care of him.”
“Oh, sweetheart... that’s a nice idea but I think he needs to be here, close to his doctors and his family.”
“Mom,” Summer snapped, and the blood drained from Rebecca’s face.
“I didn’t mean... oh gosh, Lo, sweetheart, that was a callous thing to say.” She clutched her chest. “You know I consider you family. I just think he needs to be here. Besides, you’ll have classes in the fall, and he could need around the clock care initially.”
I flinched at her words. Rebecca was a pragmatist; it was how she dealt with life. Her mind instantly went into problem-solving mode. But Maverick wasn’t a problem to be fixed. He was my boyfriend, my soul mate. He was a person with thoughts and feelings and ideas. He deserved a say in his immediate future...
If only I could g
et him to talk about it.
“You will be returning to classes in the fall, won’t you?” My dad came over, concern etched into the lines of his face.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do yet, Dad. I could defer the year, stay home and be with Maverick.”
“I think Rebecca is right, sweetheart.” His frown deepened. “He needs to be here, so you don’t have to carry that burden alone.”
“Burden, really, Dad?” I shoved away from the table and stood up. “I’m going to get some air.”
Summer hurried after me as I made a beeline for the house. “Lo, wait,” she called. “He didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I’m just so fed up of them thinking they know what’s best.” I sagged against the kitchen counter.
“This is just their way of helping.”
“I know that, Sum. But I don’t have all the answers. And don’t you think Rick deserves a say?”
“He does. But he’s not ready to face this, so the decision might have to be made for him. If he comes back here, no one is going to stop you staying with him.”
They couldn’t if they tried. We weren’t kids anymore. We were adults. But Maverick wasn’t only mine. He was their son… their brother… and grandson. And we were still in college. Of course they wanted to help.
“Everything is such a mess.” Tears rolled down my cheeks.
Summer wrapped me into her arms, holding me tight. “We’ll figure it out,” she whispered. “Maybe it’s time to push Maverick about what he wants.”
She was right.
I knew she was.
I just didn’t know if I was ready to hear his answer.
Maverick
“Mom?” I jerked my head up at the sight of her standing there. “I didn’t know you were stopping by.”
“I need an appointment now?”
“No, of course not. I just...” I swallowed the words and forced a smile. “It’s good to see you.”
“How are you, baby?” She came over and kissed my head, the way she used to when I was just a kid, angry and confused at the world.
“I’ve been better.”
“Tough session with Miller?”
“The worst.” We were working on trunk strength and stability and it was impossible to describe the way my muscles ached after less than an hour together.
“All for a good cause though, right?” She smiled.
“Sure thing, Mom.”
“Actually, my visit isn’t random. I had hoped we could talk about things. Now, before you say anything, I know you don’t want to look too far ahead, but I spoke to your doctors and they—”
“Mom, I’m not ready.”
She let out a little huff of disapproval. “Well, you need to get ready, Maverick. There are decisions to be made. Have you talked to Lo about it at all?”
I hadn’t.
It was the one thing we didn’t talk about.
“Yesterday, at our family dinner, Lo mentioned she’s been thinking about taking a year out to be with you. She said you might get a new place at Steinbeck and she’ll—”
“She said that?” My eyes widened.
“She did.” Mom gave me a knowing glance. “But we can’t expect her to give up college, Maverick. I want you to move back home. I’ve been looking into renovating the pool house, making it accessible and—”
Jesus, this was happening. Once she got an idea in her head, she wouldn’t stop until she saw it through.
“We don’t even know where I’ll be at with my rehab when I leave the hospital.” But she was right. The likelihood was I would leave here in a chair. Miller and my doctors had prepared me for as much.
“Just think about it, okay? You’re going to need a lot of help initially. I want to be there for you.”
“I know, Mom.” Everyone wanted to help. They wanted to fix this.
To fix me.
But it wasn’t some problem that could be solved with home renovations and a positive attitude.
“We need to make a plan, Maverick. I know it’s hard.” She reached for my hand, taking it between hers. “But you’re not alone in this. Lo can stay at the pool house with you as much as she likes, then when classes start, she can come back at the weekend.”
Fuck. She had it all planned out. Like I was a kid that needed taking care of. I knew it was just her way of dealing with it, but it was like a rubber band around my chest, squeezing the air right out of my lungs.
This was exactly why I hadn’t given too much thought to what happened after because if I did, it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
In a strange way, these four walls had become my sanctuary, my safe space. Out there was an unknown quantity. Out there I wouldn’t have Nurse Jennifer to hide behind or Miller and the doctors to hold my hand every step of the way.
Out there I’d be alone with no one who truly understood what it meant to have something so fundamental as the power to walk taken from you.
“I’m really kind of tired, Mom,” I mumbled, and she gave me a pointed look.
“I know what you’re doing, Maverick.”
I pressed my lips together, swallowing the words I really want to say. Because I was doing better. I was forcing myself to have patience with my family and friends. It wasn’t their fault I was here; they didn’t deserve my resentment. No matter how hard it was to curb the feeling.
“Okay.” She let out a soft sigh. “I’ll give you some space. But we have to talk about this eventually. You won’t be in here forever, baby.” Mom leaned over and kissed my cheek. My skin was smooth thanks to Nurse Jennifer’s handy skills with a razor blade. I’d tried to do it myself, but I couldn’t get close enough to the mirror to see.
“Your sister called earlier, said the two of you had talked. I really think she should come home and—”
“Mom, Macey needs to be with Devon. The tour is important to him.” I’d told her as much when we’d spoken earlier. “I don’t need her to come back here to know she’s worried about me.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Mom’s hand lingered on my cheek as she let out a weary sigh. “You’ll always be my boy, Maverick. I just want to do right by you.”
With that she walked out.
Taking a piece of my battered and bitter heart with her.
Lo
“Maverick?” I answered my phone.
“Hey,” he sounded distant and my heart sank.
“What happened?”
“Mom paid me a visit.”
“Let me guess, she wanted to talk about arrangements for when you get out of the hospital?”
“Yeah.” He hesitated. “Did you really say you’d take a year out?”
“What do you think?”
“I think I don’t deserve you.”
“Will you stop saying that.” My brows pinched. “I love you, and I want to be there for you.”
“Just promise me you won’t do anything hasty. There’s still time.”
There really wasn’t. Classes started again in less than a month, and I’d already begun looking for suitable apartments for us. In fact, I’d been doing more than that. I’d been researching everything I could on SCI and rehabilitation. I wanted Maverick to have options. I wanted him to know I was serious about sticking around and supporting him.
I also wanted to be prepared.
“What did you think about her idea of you moving in back home? Because I was thinking that maybe we could get a new place...” My heart crashed against my ribcage as I waited for his reply. I might not have agreed with Rebecca about Maverick moving home, but I did agree that we needed, in the very least, to discuss it.
“Lo, I can’t expect you to do that.” He let out a shuddering breath.
“So you want to move home?”
“No, but... fuck, you really want to have this conversation now?”
“Yeah, I guess I do.”
Heavy silence filled the line, my body vibrating with trepidation.
“The pool house probably makes sense
.” Maverick didn’t sound happy about it; he didn’t sound happy about anything lately. “You can attend classes in the week and come back at the weekend.”
“And if I don’t go to classes? I could defer the semester to be with you. I found a great little place—”
“You love our apartment,” he said flatly.
“Yeah, but it’s just an apartment, Maverick. And it won’t be the same without you there. Look, I know there’s no easy answer here. I know your mum wants to be there for you and have you stay back at the house. But this is our life, Maverick. I should get a say too.” A sense of determination washed over me. I could do this. I knew I could. So the fact Rebecca was trying to sideline me stung.
“Why do I feel like whatever I say here, someone is going to end up hurt?”
“I should go,” I said, smothering the sadness welling in my chest. “I promised Beth I’d take her to the ice cream parlour.”
“Okay.” He swallowed roughly, hesitating for a beat. “I love you, Lo.”
I knew Maverick used the words as a stitch for the cracks between us, but part of me was starting to wonder if they were enough.
Chapter Fourteen
Maverick
“Good morning, Maverick, what can I do for you?” Nurse Jennifer breezed into the room.
“I think you need to call Miller,” I said, dumbfounded.
“What is it, honey?”
I stared down at my legs, hardly able to believe it. “Something happened. I- I think I can feel them.”
It wasn’t a normal kind of feeling, but the tingles Kyle had so often teased me about were back. Only, I could feel them all the way down to the tips of my toes this time.
She flashed me a smile as she approached the bed. “Let’s see what’s happening here, shall we?” Nurse Jennifer took out the pen from her pocket and ran it down my left leg.
“I feel it.” I almost burst with relief. “It’s a little numb but it’s there.”
“And this one?” She repeated the motion on my left leg, but I frowned.
“It’s barely there.”
“Still, this is a good sign. I’ll page Miller and your doctor. He might want to run some more tests to see what’s going on.”