Shattered: The Sundance Series

by Rider, C. P.

  Why was he sorry? Did he already know what had happened to me? Had he known all along?

  There was no way he could have—oh, who was I trying to fool? This was Lucas "Two Steps Ahead of Me" Blacke. Of course the man had known.

  The anger this realization provoked was so flat and quiet it hardly registered. Was I simply not shocked? Exhausted? Or was I so far beyond angry that I couldn't muster up any emotion at all?

  I found the switch inside my brain and wrapped my intention around it. Like most things I saw in a person's head, it wasn't literal. It's not as if there was a cartoonish light switch on the inside of my head that said "wolf" and "off," I just made myself see it that way. Everything inside the mind was dreamlike, metaphorical. I created the way I saw the brains I spiked.

  Except for Guillermo's. His had come to me pre-formed, which I attributed to the illusion ability of his dire wolf.

  "Juan's right," Gert said. "You've never done it before, and you can't spike your way out of a shifting problem."

  After all the pain I'd gone through tonight, what was a little more? In for a centavo, in for a peso, as my tío used to say.

  Ignoring all my common sense, I flipped the switch.

  My shoulders crackled as my head whipped back, curling painfully toward my spine as the air was squeezed from my lungs. My knees cracked, bones splintering as my legs lengthened, my skin burning as fur retracted.

  Guillermo let out a whiny howl and bit Juan on the ear.

  "¡Qué ching—" Juan caught himself before he finished the curse. "Gil, what the—oh no, Neely."

  The truck swerved and screeched to a stop, and I rolled onto the floorboard. "Drive, Gert. Front seat, Gil."

  Strong hands yanked my broken—breaking—body onto the back seat and I cried out, my ribs crushing my lungs, making me unable to draw a proper breath.

  "I told you to wait for Luke." Juan got all the way inside the truck and shut the door. "You'll have to hand control over to me. I won't take it from you." When I whimpered, he added, "Don't worry, I won't be your alpha after this. I'm just going to lend you some strength and guidance."

  The truck began moving again. Everything was silent except for Guillermo's whines, Juan's soothing voice, Gert muttering obscenities at the other drivers on the road, and the sizzling crack of every bone in my body breaking. I gagged; the pain was so intense I would have thrown up if I'd had food in my stomach.

  Juan's voice floated to me, a lighthouse on a stormy sea. "You're still trying to draw energy. Right now, you're not a spiker, you're a shifter, and you have got to think like one." He gripped the back of my neck and forced me to face him. "If you allow me to help, I will, but I won't do it against your will. You have my word in front of God and Auntie Gert that I won't bring you into my pack. I've never used compulsion to get anyone to follow me, and I don't plan to start now."

  My blood burned like acid, like a lemon juice shower after a razor blade storm. The pain was everywhere, inside me and out. "Please."

  "Will you hand me your control?" His eyes glowed white gold. "I need your permission. You're human enough to speak now. Say the words."

  "Y-yes," I managed, my voice raw. "Perm-mission g-granted."

  At that point, I would have promised him anything to get the pain to stop. If this was a fraction of what my uncle had gone through while shifting as a lone beta wolf, I understood even more how much that wolf had loved me. He'd refused to join a pack or group to protect my secret and he'd suffered greatly for it.

  "We're going to take this slow." He released my neck and stroked my head, his fingers smoothing over my now patchy fur. "Listen to the sound of my voice, Neely. Do as I say, okay?"

  A ribbon of calm wove through me as he pushed alpha energy into my body. "Okay."

  "Stretch your right arm, reach for my hand. Good, that's good. The other arm, now."

  Slowly, we worked through all my limbs. Juan's soothing voice murmured commands, his hands stroked over my head and back, his alpha power worked through me.

  By the time I was completely human, Gert was pulling up in front of the big house. I was sprawled, naked, on Juan's lap, shivering, my long curly hair raining over my face and shoulders and down my back.

  "Gert, grab the blanket, would you? It's behind this seat but I can't reach it."

  "Sure thing, Johnny. Hold tight, Neely. We'll get you warm." The driver's door opened and closed at the same time as the back truck door opened. Unless Gert was using shifter speed, there was no way she could have moved that quickly.

  "Luke." Juan didn't sound nervous, neither did he sound fully in control of himself. "Buddy, it's not what it looks like."

  "That right, Johnny?"

  I peeked through my hair at Lucas. He stood with his arms folded over his chest, the muscles in both chest and arms bulging as if he were actively holding himself back from lunging at the other alpha leader.

  Juan cleared his throat. "See, she needed—"

  "Because it looks like you told Neely to wait to change until I could help her, but she figured out that I knew she was a latent shifter before she knew, and decide to spite me by changing by herself, got caught in the change, you pulled over, got into the back seat with her and helped her through it. Then she climbed into your lap for warmth while Auntie Gert looked for a blanket to cover up her naked body."

  "Wow." Juan stroked the top of my head. "I guess it's exactly what it looks like. On my end, that is. Can't speak for your mate, though."

  "Don't worry. She'll speak for herself once she gets her bearings. There will likely be yelling." Lucas let out a low growl that made my hair stand on end. "You should, uh, stop petting her, though. My Smilodon is getting a little uncomfortable with the situation."

  "She's scared," Juan said, a growl rumbling his chest. "I'm comforting her."

  The air surrounding us thickened.

  "Calm down, everybody." Gert muscled her way around Lucas and tugged a blue-striped Mexican blanket out from behind the seat. She pushed it into my trembling hands and Juan helped me wrapped myself in the rough fabric. "Luke, you know how it is when an alpha leader takes emotional responsibility for a shifter. Kicks up all those protective urges."

  Lucas nodded curtly. The tension in the air lessened.

  When I was covered, I sat all the way up on Juan's lap, moved my hair out of my face, and glared at my mate. "How long have you been in Austin?"

  "Since this afternoon. A friend was flying out here—Dale Hutchens, you remember the guy I was talking to at the airport when Gert picked you up?—and I hitched a ride. Thought I'd surprise you." He cleared his throat nervously. "Uh, surprise."

  "Mentiroso," I growled. Apparently, I had retained the wolf sounds, if not the form.

  "Liar? Me? You lied about your middle name." His brows dropped. "If you'll lie about that, what else are you hiding, Cornelia Maria Costa MacLeod?"

  "I didn't lie. I replaced Maria with Costa, you ass. And this is not even close to that, so don't you dare start in with your sarcasm distraction technique, you—pardon me and thank you for your help, Alpha Juan—unbelievable jackass." I climbed over the Austin alpha and dropped to the ground. My knees buckled, and Juan wound an arm around my waist to steady me before Lucas could.

  "Thanks," I said.

  "Anytime," he replied.

  Lucas's eyes narrowed. "Not anytime."

  Juan shook his head, chuckled softly. He made sure I was steady before letting me go.

  On wobbly legs, I stomped through the grass to the front porch. I wondered if someone had grabbed my clothes and sneakers, or if I'd ruined them when I … changed.

  A truckload of bricks dropped on my head as the shock hit me all over again. Muzzle, paws, fur. Howling at the moon. I was embarrassed at how thick-skulled I'd been, how far in denial. The signs had been there, and I'd ignored them because, well, because I was me.

  My breath came in fast, hard gasps that I struggled to hide. I did not want to look weak in front of any of these shifters. I wa
sn't sure why, but it was important to my … wolf.

  Oh God.

  Time. I needed time alone. To think. And plot. Yes. I was going to my room to take time and be alone to think, to plot my dad's and my mate's demises.

  Unfortunately, Lucas followed me. "You think I knew everything, but I didn't. I suspected, after what you told me about what happened at the sanctuary and then with your dad being a wolf... Even so, I wasn't sure. It was a guess."

  "You should have shared your guess—and your whereabouts when I called you earlier."

  "I'm sorry I flew in without telling you. It's just… Damn it, Neely, I was worried. I've faced a dire wolf before. I know what they can do."

  I whirled around, losing my hold on the blanket. I caught it at my waist. Thankfully my hair flowed over my breasts, mostly covering them so I wasn't totally bare-ass naked in front of everyone, although apparently naked enough if the glowing gold of Lucas's eyes was any measure.

  "Thank you for wanting to protect me. I believe what you say, but I'm still angry. You will give me some time to gather myself."

  "Neely—"

  "Stay here." My breath was coming in and out in short puffs through my nostrils. "I'm going to take a bath and I'm going to think, and you are going to let me do it. One hour. You will give me one undisturbed hour."

  Lucas shifted from foot to foot. Clenched and unclenched his fists. "Neely."

  "Lucas."

  His jaw muscle pulsed. "All right. One hour. Then we talk."

  "Fine. Then we talk."

  My hand had just touched the doorknob when I felt an undertow pull, an against-my-will heart tug coupled with the strangest feeling of having forgotten something important. Then I heard a whimper. Not aloud, inside my head.

  I glanced over my shoulder at the Texas red wolf sitting on the grass beside the truck, head hanging low. I'd never seen a man or shifter so utterly broken. My heart squeezed at the sight.

  "Come on, wolf." I held the front door open, and Guillermo followed me inside.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  "You shifted into a wolf? What in the great green goddamn is going on out there?" Dolores, ever eloquent, screeched through the cell phone. We had each other on speaker.

  "Right now? I'm taking a bath and trying to decide how I'm going to wring Lucas's neck for not telling me about his suspicions."

  After locking myself in the room, I had taken a shower and washed my hair just to get clean. Then I ran the hottest bath I could stand, poured in some ylang ylang and vanilla bath salts I found in the cabinet beneath the sink, and climbed in. Once I had covered myself with warm scented water, I whistled softly, and Guillermo toed open the door. He was now curled up asleep on the bathmat.

  "You don't sound as upset as I'd have expected, given the furry circumstances."

  "That's not even close to funny, Dolores."

  I grabbed a bar of soap with what looked like real lavender in it, and held it to my nose. Unlike other shifters, I apparently didn't retain any of my wolf's abilities when in human form. Even so, the soap smelled wonderful to my human nose, so I lathered up with it.

  "So, you are upset?"

  "Oh, I passed Upset Street two exits ago. I'm on Choked with Grief Boulevard now."

  "Well, quit driving then." Dolores took a loud drink of something. Probably Dottie's terrible wine. I'd give anything for a glass of that stuff right now if it meant I was back in Sundance.

  "Everyone I care about lies to me. My dad, my tío…" I rinsed off the lavender soap that I hadn't needed because I was already clean, and sank into the hot bath, letting it relax my muscles. "Even Lucas."

  "Sometimes people lie because they're trying to protect you. Misguided, sure, but they're not trying to hurt you."

  Maybe, but it hurt all the same. "I miss home. I need a soak and a margarita at the Fairfield Witches' Interdimensional Watering Hole. And I need a hug."

  "We'd be glad to give you all those things, dear." Dottie must have moved close to the phone, because her voice was louder than before.

  "That's right, kiddo. Soaks and hugs are our specialty. Also booze. You just cruise on back home and Dot'll whip up a prickly pear margarita for you." She paused, and I heard the clink of a glass being set down. "The tower is letting us bring in booze again, since I promised not to open a bar in the gift shop."

  "So, you're back to selling trinkets to snowbirds?"

  "That's not even close to funny, Neely."

  I smiled for the first time in what felt like hours.

  "Dear, if you don't mind me asking," Dottie piped in, "if you're that upset, why do you sound so calm? I think of myself as a rather even-keeled sort, but if I unexpectedly shifted into a wolf, I'd be pretty darn piqued about it."

  "I'd have filled my bloomers by now," Dolores said.

  "I don't know. I guess after having been dead for a short time, turning into a wolf didn't seem like such a bad thing. But don't take my composure to heart. I'm drained. Maybe tomorrow I'll be louder and angrier. For now, I'm just … empty." I sighed. "Also, I think the wolf is lending me some calm."

  "The wolf inside you?" Dottie asked.

  "No, the Texas red wolf on my bathmat. Guillermo Martinez." At the sound of his name, he peaked his ears, lifted his head. "Go back to sleep. It's okay," I said to him, keeping my voice gentle.

  With a soft snort, he closed his eyes and lowered his head.

  "Are you telling me the dire wolf who tried to kidnap you is asleep on your bathmat?"

  "Yep." I told the witches everything I could remember about spiking Guillermo. "I shifted while in his head, then commanded him to shift to save his life. Turns out I'm an alpha."

  "Well, of course you are. Why wouldn't you be?" Dolores said this in the sarcastic tone she always used when I told her something that worried her. I could picture her rolling her eyes at me.

  "There's more. I think I might have done something to connect the two of us."

  "You could give a workshop on how to complicate already complicated things," Dolores drawled.

  "I'd rather just come home and make Mexican pastries in my panaderia."

  "I'm interested in that spike inside of a spike," Dottie said. "Was it similar to what you did to the witch in Alpha Blacke's head?"

  "Only in the sense that there's definitely an old man lying dead somewhere." I shrugged. Honestly, I couldn't work up a single bit of regret for that. The monster had got what he deserved.

  "To be frank, this spike was unlike anything I've ever done." I relaxed my shoulders on the edge of the tub and poked my toes out of the water. My blood-red polish was chipped. "And I can't tell if my spiking ability is evolving, or if spiking a dire wolf is just different."

  "Oh, like as not, it's you." A familiar creak told me Dolores had taken a seat in one of the living room armchairs. "You going to forgive the tiger?"

  "I'm very angry. With Lucas, with my uncle, and with my father. In fact, I'm numbly furious."

  "Emotional overload. Shock. You need rest and a long soak in the hot spring." Dottie clicked her tongue. "Do you still have your mother's charms? I'd like to examine them."

  "No. Those bastards in the illusion garden broke them. When I woke up, they were gone."

  "Interesting." Dottie's voice grew progressively quieter. She was probably at the bookcase, trying to find information on how to fix my latest catastrophe. "You can kill during a spike, and a dire wolf can kill through illusion."

  "Yes and no. I can kill. He can drive a person to it." But he had attacked the three in the garden, so he'd been able to hurt them somehow.

  "The way I see it, the big question is, whose illusion was it?" Dolores asked. "Was it your pet wolf's, that weird old guy from the hospital room’s, or the three jackasses in that garden? Or was it Cowboy Alpha and Gert's? Lots of possibilities there."

  "Not Juan and Gert. They couldn't get past my spike. Not the old man, or the illusion would have collapsed when I spiked him."

  "So, it's either the wolf's, o
r the three."

  "If it was one of the three, it doesn't matter now. Pretty sure they're dead."

  "How?"

  "I don't know."

  Dolores let out a long sigh. "You know, I realize I advertise this place as an interdimensional watering hole, but I'm not as good at this inside-out stuff as I might seem."

  "Technically, Neely's issue isn't interdimensional, sis," Dottie said, "it's intracranial."

  After that, we said our goodbyes and I promised to keep them updated on my situation.

  The water had grown cold and it was almost time for Lucas to come knocking on my door, so I decided to get out. My towel, which I'd placed on the edge of the tub, was gone.

  "It was my illusion until those three assholes appeared in the garden. They took it over from there. One was a mystic. He was able to make us all corporeal within the illusion so they could cause real harm. Ended up working against them."

  Guillermo stood beside the tub with my towel in his hand. He looked different from the man he'd presented to me at the Cactus, and different from the one inside his head. He was olive-skinned, pale, and far too lean, with sad greenish-brown eyes and wild brown hair that looked blond in the right light. And he was naked.

  Water swished as I sat up in the tub, covering my breasts with my arm. "Who was the older man? The one I spiked."

  "Ewan North, one of my torturers."

  One of my torturers. My gut felt leaden. How many had there been?

  "I thought his name was Elijah."

  "No. Elijah is the leader of Legion." The way his rib cage protruded through his skin made me want to get out of the tub, march him straight to the kitchen, and make him something to eat. Something with a lot of fat and sugar.

  "Guillermo, would you please hand me that towel? The water is getting a little cold. And perhaps grab one for yourself?"

  "Sure. Sorry." He gave my towel to me and took another from the closet, his brows lowering as he eyed the way I was bent over in the water trying to hide my nakedness. "You're shy."

  "I'm not as comfortable with nudity as shifters are."

  "You're a shifter," he said.

  "Not until today," I muttered. "Turn around."