British Big Shot: A Hero Club Novel

by J. H. Croix

  That evening, I was miserable, so miserable that Jane glanced my way. “What is wrong with you, Jasper? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were a fussy toddler.”

  “A fussy toddler?” I returned, affronted.

  “Exactly. You’ve been irritable with everyone. What is wrong?”

  We had a moment alone, and all I could do was shrug. “My apologies.”

  I got through the rest of the night, calling upon my manners to keep me polite. Just when I thought I was going to skate free, I glanced across the room and saw my parents.

  The moment I laid eyes on them, anger flashed inside. My father was an asshole. He was flirting with another woman right in front of my mother. My mother’s face was pinched, which led me to believe she was not currently also enjoying an affair. They made a mockery of the term marriage, always trying to one-up each other. I didn’t think either one of them even understood the concept of love, though they certainly understood the concepts of jealousy and manufactured drama for the sake of it.

  Yet here you are having dinner, planning to take Jane home and go through the motions. She’s a nice woman and can never be a substitute for Anna. Don’t use her.

  My fucking conscience took that moment to give me a mental kick. Bloody hell. I was starting to get tired of thinking about Anna, yet I could not stop. I found my feet moving, crossing over to my parents on the far side of the room.

  My mother looked up and smiled tightly. “Hello, Jasper. I was wondering if we would see you here tonight,” she said smoothly. As usual, she wore black and her dark hair was pulled back into a tight twist.

  “Hello, Mother,” I said, dipping my chin in acknowledgment. She leaned up and pressed a dry kiss to my cheek, the only form of affection I’d ever experienced from her that I could recall.

  My father glanced over. “Hello,” he said, his tone brusque. The woman beside him blinked at me with coquettish eyes.

  I simply nodded. “I heard from Ben that you’re keeping your stake in that winery,” my father said as he stepped closer to my mother, all but dismissing the poor woman standing at his side. I could only feel so bad for her because she was openly flirting with a man right in front of his wife, but then… I sighed silently, cutting off that train of thought.

  “I am,” I replied. I preferred not to discuss business with my father.

  He gave me a long look. “I heard about the unusual conditions of your grandfather’s will. I thought you would have enough sense to let that go. Hanging on to some kind of flower business and winery seems a bit ridiculous.”

  My father had attempted to weasel his way into my grandfather’s business. Although my grandfather had been protective of his daughter, my mother, and set aside a trust for her, he’d hated my father, and they hardly spoke for years before my grandfather passed. I should’ve known my father had someone look into the will. He would’ve wanted to see if there was any way for him to take advantage.

  A bolt of defensiveness hit me. My father knew nothing of Anna and how much she loved that place, but I knew nothing I said could make sense of it to him. Fortunately, I was under no pressure to explain. I simply shrugged. “It’s of no importance to you, Father. Nice to see you both.”

  That was a lie. It was never nice to see them, but I nodded and gracefully turned away. My parents had been neglectful at best. My father had treated me as his own competition once my grandfather took me under his wing. As a result, there was a simmering undercurrent of wanting to one-up my father.

  Fast-forward to the end of the evening when I stood on the street outside the main entrance to Jane’s flat. She was looking at me expectantly, so I went in. I tried to kiss her, and I couldn’t. I lifted my head swiftly before my lips met hers. “I’m sorry,” I said as I stepped back.

  She looked at me quietly, not seeming the least bit ruffled by my strange behavior this evening. “Have you met someone, Jasper?”

  It was on the tip of my tongue to lie and say no, but I surprised myself. “I suppose I have. I can’t say I know what to do about it.”

  Jane regarded me quietly, her lips curling at the corners with a slow smile. “Perhaps you should see what happens. I may not be looking for love, but I’m not immune. You seem out of sorts. If things are not resolved with whoever it is, perhaps you should go see her.”

  “Why do you assume I would need to go somewhere to visit?” I was genuinely curious.

  “Because if you were seeing someone here in London, I would know about it. I think it has something to do with your trip to the States. Some people are best left as part of the past while others leave us wondering. That’s what you need to ask yourself. Can you walk away and not wonder for the rest of your life?”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Anna

  I didn’t miss Jasper, not at all. I told myself that as I walked into my grandparents’ old house. Thanks to his legwork, I’d been able to pay off the money my grandmother owed on that stupid reverse mortgage. I didn’t intend to keep the house, but at least now I didn’t have to sneak around like a thief in the very place I’d spent the best years of my childhood.

  I walked through the quiet and darkened rooms, and my throat felt tight. I missed Gram, and she wasn’t coming back. Sometimes you had to remind yourself of the obvious, especially when it came to losing someone who meant everything.

  While I also missed my grandfather, I’d had more years to adjust to his death. He also hadn’t been as deeply entwined in my day-to-day life when I lived with them. Gram was stability to me, and I’d felt set adrift since she died. I hadn’t realized how much the financial situation was weighing on me until Jasper showed up.

  I was going to need to learn some form of mental martial arts to vanquish Jasper in my thoughts. Right then, I looked over at the empty file cabinets and pondered how efficiently he’d gone through all those files.

  Just thinking about that caused my heart to squeeze tight. I was missing a guy over files. Files.

  “You have a task,” I said to myself.

  I began moving through the house, opening the shades and letting the sunshine in. Dust moats floated in the air, and the space felt strangely quiet. I’d arranged for a local homeless services organization to pick up the furnishings, but I still took one last loop through the house. Even though I’d done so when I came here with Jasper, I’d been in a hurry then. I found two old boxes on the top shelf of her closet and nothing more.

  I took those with me and was just putting them in my car when the woman arrived to check out the furniture. “Hi there,” she said with a bright smile and a cheery wave.

  It was a contrast to how I was feeling—out of sorts and missing my grandmother. And Jasper, always missing Jasper. That was freaking annoying.

  “Hi there,” I replied, managing what I hoped to be a smile. “The furniture isn’t new, but it’s all in good shape.”

  When I let her in, she looked around and nodded approvingly. “Looks good. We’ll take the stuff off your hands. Are you selling the place?”

  “Maybe. I think because of the problems with the foundation, the house itself will be demolished, and I’ll figure out what to do with the property,” I explained.

  That was almost more of a project than I could contemplate at the moment. After she left, I locked up the house and headed back to the winery.

  That night, I sat on the couch and started going through those boxes. I hadn’t planned to go through them until the lid from one slipped loose and tumbled off as I was carting it up the stairs. Although my hand was healed, I tended to be careful of it and was juggling the box awkwardly when the lid fell off. I discovered the boxes were filled with letters and cards.

  Going through them was an excellent distraction, considering that most of my spare time involved me trying not to think about Jasper. There was nothing on to suck me into television tonight, so this would hopefully do the trick.

  One box was filled with letters between her and friends. Then I came across the first of some
letters from Jasper’s grandfather.

  For the most part, they were filled with details about daily events. It was the way the letters ended that twisted my heart sharply. I miss you, and I wish things were different. All my love.

  Tears pricked my eyes as I quickly riffled through the rest of the box. There was a total of ten letters from him, each indicating he’d received one she had written to him. It seemed they had a sweet spot for each other. As far as I could piece together, he’d already been betrothed to another woman when my grandmother went to visit a relative for a summer and met him. My grandmother had already been engaged to my grandfather. I knew she loved my grandfather. That much had been obvious, but apparently, she saved a corner of her heart for Jasper’s grandfather.

  I wanted to call Jasper and ask him to see what he could find on his end. That made me feel frustrated. We hadn’t spoken since he left. By now, it was a point of pride for me. I could be stubborn, so I wasn’t going to cave. We had a business arrangement, nothing more.

  Liar, liar, pants on fire, my mind taunted me.

  Fine, so I was lying. It didn’t really matter, and it certainly didn’t change the situation.

  You’re not like your grandmother. You’re not promised to anyone, and no one’s waiting for you anywhere. Maybe you should try being brave.

  Giving my nagging voice a mental kick, I put the letters down. Restless, I stood from the couch, then crossed to look out the windows. It was late afternoon, and the sun was just starting to slide down the summer sky. We were closed today, so it was quiet.

  Curling my arms around my waist, I turned away, my eyes scanning the living room. Papers were scattered over the coffee table and on the couch where I’d been sitting. My eyes made their way over to the kitchen area where there were dishes starting to collect in the sink. I’d never turned off the coffee maker this morning, and the blinking red light taunted me.

  Dropping my arms, I crossed over and turned the coffee maker off, then began washing the dishes. I felt lonely and annoyed. Until Jasper had shown up and knocked my world off its axis, I’d loved my little apartment. It felt cozy, and all mine. Now, it felt empty because he wasn’t here.

  After I finished the dishes, I put away the letters, telling myself there was no need to ask Jasper if he had anything like this in his grandfather’s things. That was taking sentimental a bridge too far.

  I carried the boxes into the now empty guest room. After I put them onto a shelf in the empty closet, I turned and longing sliced through me sharply. My eyes landed on the bed, and I suddenly regretted that I’d stripped the bed and washed the sheets after Jasper left.

  Like a foolish girl, I crossed over and lifted the quilt, breathing it in and getting a very subtle hint of his lingering scent. I might’ve washed the duvet and the sheets, but I hadn’t washed the down quilt.

  I plunked down on the bed with a sigh. Why, oh why, had I gone and fallen for Jasper?

  I stood restlessly again and crossed over to the dresser. I’d never thought to make sure the drawers were empty. They almost were. Except for one thing—a simple hammered silver bracelet. Entirely masculine. Jasper wore it all the time.

  As I turned it over in my hands, I noticed an inscription on the inside. It was faded and worn. As I looked closely, my heart thumped unsteadily as I made it out. To JW from HL. I won’t forget you.

  Tears stung my eyes. HL had to be my grandmother, Hannah Lennon. I thought JW had to be Jasper’s grandfather since he’d told me they shared the same name, Jasper West. Like me, Jasper had his mother’s last name. In my case, it was because my parents had never married. In his, he said his mother kept her maiden name and named him that way by choice. A small detail we shared that suddenly seemed momentous.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Jasper

  I reached reflexively toward my left wrist. It was a phantom reflex at this point. The old silver bracelet I’d found in my grandfather’s belongings and started wearing because he’d worn it for years was gone. I thought I knew precisely where it was—in Anna’s guest bedroom in the dresser. I needed to ask her about it, but that would require reaching out.

  At this point, four weeks had passed since I’d left, and I was feeling stubborn. Even though she was across an ocean and a continent, I sensed Anna was being stubborn as well. I missed her far more than I missed that bracelet.

  “Jasper?”

  I looked across my desk at Ben. “Apologies, I’m a little distracted.”

  He gave me an assessing look, his lips quirking with a smile. “You’ve been distracted ever since you came back from California.”

  I shifted my shoulders, willing the tension starting to bundle in my neck to ease. “No, I haven’t,” I said, my irritable tone belying my reply.

  He arched a brow. “We’ll pretend you haven’t been. I must say, I’m still surprised about your decision.”

  “What decision?”

  “To keep the winery. Are you sure it’s not because she wouldn’t agree to let you sell? You can fess up if that’s the case.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “No, that’s not the case. In fact, she told me if I wanted to sell, she would agree. I decided not to because it’s an interesting investment.”

  “Interesting? It won’t make you a penny.”

  I suddenly felt fiercely protective of Anna. “Don’t be so dismissive,” I countered. “She was able to pay off the debts her grandmother owed, and it’s a solid business.”

  “Touchy, aren’t we? Maybe it will make you some money, but it’s nothing like your usual choice of investments. Like your grandfather, I can only assume you have some sort of sentimental attachment.”

  “What do you mean?”

  Ben shrugged. “My only job was to execute his estate, and I feel I’ve done that. I’m merely saying your grandfather didn’t have a logical reason to accept ownership in half of that business, yet he did.”

  Ben had passed over the letter from my grandfather upon my return. It had simply said he hoped I made the right choice. He was maddening, even in death.

  “Do you know if there is any documentation?”

  “Regarding what?”

  “His relationship with Hannah, Anna’s grandmother?”

  Ben gave me an assessing look.

  “What do you know?” I pressed.

  His lips twisted, and he let out a sigh. “He worried it would be misunderstood. He fell in love with Hannah. To my knowledge, nothing untoward ever happened between them. Back then, meeting a girl from America and chasing one’s heart simply wasn’t done. He was already engaged to be married to your grandmother when Hannah visited London for several months.”

  “How did they meet?” I interjected.

  “I don’t have all the details, but I believe he met her when she asked for directions while walking nearby. It was a chance encounter. But he was nothing if not loyal and kept his commitment to your grandmother. I believe Hannah was also already engaged.” At my nod, he continued, “After your grandmother passed, he reconnected with Hannah. Helping her was something he could do, so he did.”

  I stared at him and let out a low laugh. “I suspected it was something like that.” Pausing, I ran a hand through my hair. I was grateful to my grandfather because no matter what happened with Anna and me, I would’ve hated for her to lose the business. It meant so much to her. In that, my grandfather’s interference was worth all my internal confusion.

  “I’ll have my assistant get in touch with you. She has all the paperwork. If there’s anything personal in there, you’ll find it. Meanwhile, I need to get to another meeting appointment. Meet for a beer at the pub later?”

  I nodded absentmindedly.

  I stared at the faded handwriting on the letter. Anna’s grandmother had written about the flowers and when they were blooming, and about her return trip to California after her visit to London that one summer.

  She’d written that she was marrying her sweetheart. I’ll never forget you, Jasper. I know sometime
s it’s possible to love more than one person.

  I could practically feel the tinge of longing in her writing and wondered what my grandfather’s letters had said. After my request, Ben had his assistant call me. Before I’d even left my office, a small box of documents had been delivered to my house.

  Much of it included the dry details outlining my grandfather’s financial investment. In addition, there were a series of letters sent by Anna’s grandmother. As far as I could tell from her side of the story, they might have had a chance of being together if circumstances had been different.

  Standing from my desk in my home office, I closed the last letter and slipped it back in its envelope. I returned it to the box and closed it. I wanted to call Anna, yet I didn’t know if I should. She lived there, and I lived here. Just like our grandparents, it felt as if circumstances weren’t in our favor.

  Right then, my cell phone chirped from where it sat on the corner of my desk. Spinning it around, I saw Simon’s number flashing on the screen.

  “Hello,” I said as I lifted the phone to my ear.

  “Hello. I didn’t expect you to answer,” Simon began.

  “Why would you expect me not to answer?”

  Simon chuckled. “I usually get your voicemail. No need to get fussy about it.”

  “I’m never fussy,” I countered.

  Simon cleared his throat in reply.

  “Moving along. What can I do for you?” I asked.

  “Wondering how things are back in London.”

  “They’re fine.”

  “Have you talked to Anna?”

  I clenched my teeth briefly to keep from swearing. “No, I haven’t. Why do you ask?”