Isn’t It Too Big

by Naomi Penn

  Sally picked her phone and opened her Facebook. She searched ‘Jason Tolliver'

  **

  She hadn’t been picking his calls, but he had kept calling anyway. She had been online through out last night and see had sent her a tirade of messages and no so much as a hi back. His brain conjured plausible explanations. Maybe Her data was on and she was busy on other stuff? Maybe she had a bad day; No, you had a bad day. You got humiliated at a college friendly and carted away in a stretcher like roadkill but she never so much as showed up or called to check on you and this is the second day since you have been hospitalized.

  I grimaced at the phone. She was online. Again. Finn had called to see if I was okay. I wasn’t. The nurse had put on Tv and I watched my own humiliation last night. It was like watching a nightmare. After that, I had lost appetite and couldn’t get food in.

  Now, I was sitting and staring at my Girlfriend’s Facebook profile, squinting at the green dot below her picture, wanting it to disappear so my roiling emotions could calm down.

  Then my phone rang in my hand. It was her, Alicia. My chest swelled. I quickly picked.

  “Babe? I've been blowing your phone all through last night. I left calls. I left messages. You were online, you were active, I was watching your activity. You were online! But you never called me back, never even—” Beep Beep, she hung up on me. I slowly retracted the phone from my face and stared at like it had performed a miracle.Maybe her cell died, or something came up? I was giving her excuses but there was something heavy sitting at the bottom of my gut, telling me I was lying to myself.

  I dialed her number again, staring blankly at my phone as her number rung. She picked it up.

  “What happened?” I gaged.

  “I hung up obviously?” She retorted, and rage clenched my throat.

  “What?” I spat it in dismay, hoping she'd take it back, maybe tell me she was just messing around to lighten my mood.What a stupid excuse.

  “Look, Jason. Stop calling me. Stop texting me okay? It’s because you’re this insecure that I’mma have to let you go now. This isn’t working for us.” She said casually like she was reading it off a rehearsal.

  “What?” I heard myself nearly shriek.

  “Jason, I’m serious. Okay? I’m sorry about your little injury okay but I need you to for once soak it in maturely and let me go.” Those were her words. Her tone was riddled with spite and I could imagine her sitting somewhere with a magazine in her hand, paying more attention to the latest trends than our conversation right now.

  “Alicia? I-I don’t understand. What did I—“, Beep Beep. She hung up again and for the moment that followed, I was shaken, totally lost, feeling dejected. Then I got mad, my nose itched and swiped at it hard like I would take it out. My body tensed, and I sat there fuming unable to get up and pace, feeling helpless and so Mad!

  “Oh fuck. One week ago, that bitch said she loved me.” I cursed under my breath. “Now it ain’t working out? I don’t understand. I don’t get it.”My body was a whirlpool of emotions and my chest ached, but I wasn’t going to shed tears for a bitch. I had only been dumped once before and from that experience I knew there was only one way to get over a break up really quick. I could get busy. Maybe get to work at the gym or put in time on the garage roof but…I grimaced at my foot and surroundings.

  Scratch that. Number Two: I could go to the club and get drunk, fuck somebody else, have a good time…I grimaced at my leg again. I couldn’t go nowhere, and nobody was about to fuck me, exactly not after what had aired on the news the other night. I sunk lower into a pit of pity and disgrace. No going anywhere and No fucking—Unless?

  “Jason Tolliver.” A head popped into the room as the door creaked slightly open. I looked up and there she was, staring at me again. Dr. Pierce.

  “Hi, Doc.” I chimed with a plastered smile. She reciprocated faintly and stepped in. She was wearing a long pencil skirt that exhibited her slender contours and a sleeveless creamy blouse. She looked hot and I did nothing to hide my lust.

  “Jason, you look well.” She strutted till she was standing next to my bed.

  “Not too good. I’m still stuck here, wasting another year.” I said limply, feeling resigned. She had a suitcase with her and she set it on the small table by my bed.

  “Try staying hopeful. You might still make it to the Tryouts.” She sighed, systematically taking out her chart again. She leaned over slightly and peered at my casted knee.

  “The resident Doctor said your patella popped back in place, so you'll be fine with a little therapy and painkillers.” She stated but I was more concerned with her shapely ass. It wasn’t huge, but it had a nice tone to it, like apples.

  “Jason.” I snapped back to her when I heard my name. She was looking right at me. She had caught me. The heat rose to my face and I averted my eyes.

  “I wasn’t— “, I stopped myself before I could say it. What exactly was I about to say? I wasn’t staring at your ass?

  “I know you were—and it’s fine.” She chuckled. I blinked at her. Did I just hear that?

  “It’s okay to stare at your ass? I guess that’s fair since I caught you staring first.” I smiled.

  “I wasn’t staring at your dick though, was I?” She pursed her lips. I was feeling giddy but in a strange uncomfortable way. This was highly unprofessional from both sides, but we were just going with it.

  “What were you staring at then?” I cocked my head.

  “You. You reminded me of someone.” She returned her attention to my knee for a moment and then straightened back to full height.

  “Hope he’s hot though?”,

  “He was.” She flashed an uncanny smile at me, arms folded in front of her.

  “Did you just admit that I’m hot?” I tossed my sly smile at her. It always hooked them. She didn’t reply. She moved her hand, stuck out her index finger and started from where the bandage on my knee stopped.

  “Do you feel this?” At first, she poked. I felt it. A small stab of pain. Then a slow tortuous trail from where the bandage ended and down my thigh, into a ripped groove and continuing. I watched in a twisted mix of shock and delight. Our eyes connected, and I saw a different light in her eyes. A glint I could not describe. She paused at the hem of my briefs and retracted her finger.

  “Maybe. Maybe not.” She hissed.

  “What?” I blinked.

  “Maybe I find you attractive. Can you sit up Mr. Tolliver?” She asked as she reached under the bed for a lever I could not see.

  “Maybe.” My voice was small. Almost whisper. I didn’t know if I should be terrified or intrigued but she was hot.

  The bed moved and me along with it till I was sitting upright, still gazing at her.

  “The resident Doctor wanted you discharged. Said he would have you in splints and sent home. Do you live alone?” She asked intently, her eyes narrowed. I wondered if she would come see me at home and if she did, what would we do…besides therapy.

  “My Dad drops in every now and then but he’s away on some business trip.” I sputtered.

  “That sounds good, Mr. Tolliver. Don’t you have siblings?” She asked.

  “No.” I lied but Finn was not an issue. He wouldn’t stop by the house if I told him not to.

  “Good. I wouldn’t like our sessions to be disturbed and I would prefer to see you at home. What do you think?” She asked.

  “Sounds good.” I winked just as Finn walked in. We both darted glances at him and he stopped in the door way.

  “Interrupting something?” He raised a brow.

  “No. I and Mr. Tolliver were about to start on today’s massage session.” She smiled.

  **

  Finn was there the whole day, much to my dislike. He watched Dr. Pierce give me massages and some other painstaking maneuvers that eased my knee. Later she was gone and that’s when Finn left. I went back to poring my phone and that’s when I saw it. The friend request from an anonymous person and the pending message request.<
br />
  “I do find you attractive.” My instincts screamed Dr. Pierce as soon as I saw it. I blew threw her inbox, leaving a storm of messages.

  “I find you hot too.”

  “What are we gonna do tomorrow? Besides the massages?”

  “Are you going to touch me more in an unprofessional way?”

  “I’d really like that.”

  She never responded, and my mood went from hundred to zero. Then Alicia skipped into my thoughts again. I went to her Facebook wall. She had changed her profile picture. She was flaunting a dazzling smile up at me, snuggling into another guy’s neck. I didn’t know the guy, I had never seen him before then but still, it hit me like hammer, tore me limb from body and ran me over fifty times. I put off my phone, switched it back on, tossed in bed mercilessly before finally, I decided to go find Dr. Pierce's wall.

  **

  I got discharged the next day. Finn came to get me. He drove me all the way home. I didn’t wanna go back to the dorm. I wanted to be home alone. I wanted to be alone with Dr. Pierce.

  “Are you sure you wanna be alone? Dad might drop by but you know how it is. Plus, I’ve got exams this week, I can’t come babysit you.” Finn sounded worried. I wasn’t. I was excited. I wanted him out the way as soon as possible. I had spent all of the previous night going through Dr. Pierce’s photos. She had a husband. Some guy named Henry. He looked kind of just like me. It had bothered me a little but I didn’t dwell too much on it.

  Finn pulled up to our house and helped me get out and carried me all the way up to my bed. I couldn’t manage without him. Being in splints was all too unfamiliar and going up the stairs was rigorous.

  “So that Doctor’s gonna come see you here?” Finn creased a brow, thinking hard.

  “don’t overthink it Finn. She has to help me get through this. Plus, didn’t I tell you I called Nana?” I asked referring to the old woman who lived across the street from us. She was an age long family friend that had been there throughout our childhood, when mother was alive. “She would be over in the mornings to check on me. I’ll do just fine” I reassured him, minding the clock in my room. Dr. Pierce said she would come in the mornings and I had lied about Nana. I never called her, and Finn was too trusting to call either.

  “Okay. I might be back in the evening to check on you though?”

  “Yea fine. Leave the door open for Nana. I don’t want to have to struggle getting down the stairs.” I groaned as he left my room.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m fine.” I sighed and bid him goodbye. Waited impatiently for the front door to slam shut and the car engine outside to ignite. When I heard him pull out of the drive way, I pulled out my cellphone.I had gotten her office line from her profile. I put in calls, but I was always reaching an assistant. Then I left a message in her inbox.

  “Come get me. I’m needy.”

  It sounded dumb when I typed it and read it out loud but I just pressed send. She never replied and after a while I got sleepy…

  When I woke up, she was sitting at the foot of my bed. My breath hitched.

  She was dressed in a buttoned top and jeans, unusually casual than she usually was. I first noticed her nipples, small peaking dots on her chest. She wasn’t wearing a bra. She was bare on the inside. My skin tingled.

  “The front door was open.” She said, her voice hushed.

  “I left it open for you.” I replied, same whisper. She flaunted that smile and drew closer. My body tensed, and my groin tightened.

  “Are we going to do therapy today?” I whispered in an almost whimper. She was over me now, staring down at me, cold blue eyes met me steely, her face was expressionless, and both her hands dug into the mattress on either side of my head.

  “I think you know what we’re gonna do today.” She whispered and moved one hand over my face. Her index finger touched my forehead gingerly. Her touch was like a brush of warmth that sent a ripple through me. She let her finger slid down my face, over my nose and pause at my lips. She toyed with my lower lip, letting the groove of her long nail trace it.

  “Open.” She whispered. I obeyed, marveled and freaked out. I was gazing up at her with my mouth curved into an “O”. She slowly descended to me and carefully, her lips hovered over mine. I could smell her minty breath. it was fresh,stimulating.

  She covered my mouth with hers and instantly I became aware of her tongue, agilestrokes probing the crevices of my mouth and I tentatively met her with my mine. She pressed into me as her tongue overtook mine and I became aware of her straddling me. I moved my hands to caress her, but she instantly withdrew from the kiss, catching my hands in hers.

  “No.” She whispered. She let go and I dropped my hands to my sides. Slowly I watched her as she undid her buttons. One by one, her shirt parted to reveal flushed skin. She shrugged the rest of her shirt off and for a moment she let me absorb the sight of rounded apples, pointing right at me like guns. I closed my eyes and took a sharp breath. There was no way that could be real.How old was she?

  Her hands glided down my body to pants. I watched her undress me, pulling the corduroy right off and tossing it away. I was in Calvin Klein briefs and stockings now and my gun was pointing at her too. She smiled when she saw it. I smiled nervously back. She reached for my briefs and pulled that right off as well. My dick plopped and bobbed a little, once the briefs came off. I didn’t think I was big or small either, but I was long.

  I heard her suck air when she saw it, then she closed her eyes like she had seen something divine and crept back on to me, reeling in for a kiss. It was a soft, minty, relish.

  I felt her hands, snaking round my body, caressing me, groping and kneading as they went, like she needed to feel me. I basked in her attention, feeling her need pour over me, feeling her hands cradle my head and her nails dig into the nape of my neck. The tension in my lower groin was terrifying. I wasn’t agile at getting up, I never responded so quickly with Alicia, but I could feel myself grow between my legs, swelling, the fire building.

  She pulled away from the kiss and whispered to me. “You ever had your P-spot toyed with before?”

  The question was abrupt. I was still lost in anticipation.

  “My what?”

  “You haven’t.” She hissed it like it was taboo, watching me through darkened blue eyes. “I can make you feel things you’ve never felt before, but you have to trust me and let me do things to you.”

  I stared blankly, not completely understanding but eager to get back to the sex. She dipped in and kissed softly from the base of my neck, trailing a slobbery path as she went, lingered over a nipple. I gasped when the sensation hit me. Her tongue flexed over the small nub and the arousal was shocking. I grunted. I wanted to feel those lips on the tender skin of my dick. I wondered if it would be too much or too pushy to ask.

  She continued down and over my stomach and paused at the clearing of the slight brush of my pubic hair. I looked down at her and she looked up at me. I conveyed consent with my eyes and I saw something ominous and sexy register in those dark blue eyes, just as I felt her steely grip at the base of my penis. I gasped in relish, welcoming the added pressure on my dick. I arched back into the pillows and waited to feel heaven and it came…small soft nips at the base of my balls, nips that turned to sucks and progressed to a full swallow of one sack. Shesucked hard. It hit me straight in the spine.

  I gawked at the ceiling. My mouth was an “O”. Then I could feel her tender touch, a soft tortuous rub between my balls and anus. That and the sucking on my balls nearly put me out, I was squirming in delight, gripping the sheets and cussing under my breath but she didn’t stop.

  Her mouth finally freed my tortured balls and her wet warm tongue began its journey upwards, travelling along my shaft and leaving a toe-curling sensation in its wake. I grunted and grumbled an obscenity, gawking down at her head. Her tongue stopped under the throbbing red head of my dick. It did a little dance and twirled, before wrapping around my head. It was relaxing and soothing. Like t
he calm before the storm.

  She swallowed me whole. I watched half my length disappear into her mouth and the feeling knocked my lungs clean. I couldn’t hold back. I grabbed a tuft of hair and jerked my hips upwards, grinding my dick farther into her mouth, sensing nothing but head twirling pleasure. I saw stars. I groaned. Loud. Then I let her go, immediately remembering I could choke her. I dropped back on the pillows and she did the rest, moving up and down, forcing me down her throat, crushing my head, making me see twos, the sweet abrasion of tender sensitive skin with wet warm slippery walls. I lost it. I grabbed that head again and ground it down on top of me. She gagged. I immediately let go. Shaken

  She slowly took my dick out of her mouth. I loved the plop sound that followed but I grimaced at her.

  “Did I hurt you?” I whispered.

  “No. But there’s something else I wanna do to you.” She whispered, holding my dick against her face like it was just another toy. It was arousing to see her face like that, divided equally by my body part.

  “Okay.” I nodded simply, already impatient. I had barely come and I was hoping for more.

  “Are you sure?”,

  “Yes!” I snapped eagerly and watched her head dive again before I felt her tongue but this time, it wasn’t on my dick. It was way below my balls, toying with the tender flesh beneath next to my anus. I gasped, knocking back into the bed, shivering in anticipation. Was she going to lick my anus? Was she really going to do that? I was giddy with excitement.