Isn’t It Too Big

by Naomi Penn

  ***

  “I don’t know.” I rubbed my chin apprehensively between my thumb and forefinger. “It’s such an embarrassing problem. Whatever about discussing it with a complete stranger, but thrashing out my sexual problems in front of Colin? That sounds like my worst nightmare if I’m being perfectly honest.”

  We sat at our kitchen table, discussing our problems over tea. Therapy. Apparently that was the only way now. Things had just gone that bad. And how could I blame her? What woman wouldn’t be driven to the brink of insanity with her desires left unfulfilled night after night? I’m surprised she hadn’t suggested it sooner.

  I was open to therapy, if I’m being honest. I’d actually thought about it a lot myself as I lay in bed at night staring at the ceiling, pondering my own self-worth, or lack thereof. We’d go off and see some shrink, he’d tell me that my problems originated in some childhood psychological problems. Maybe I wasn’t been hugged enough as a child. That always seems to be the big problem when I watched those embarrassing shows on TV where people pour their hearts out in front of a live studio audience and millions more at home.

  That’s what the shrink would tell me too. He’d sit there in front of his wall, emblazoned with degrees, tell me my fear of intimacy stemmed from those childhood issues. Then the magical part. The pills! He would reach into his drawer and grab out his little pad and scribble something down in that handwriting that only medical professionals seem to understand. The bottom line would be, I’d hand it behind a counter and they’d serve up a dose of this or that and all of a sudden I’d have a boner that could last a week, never mind an hour. Poor Nadia wouldn’t know what to do, I’d pound her that much.

  The problem lay in the man she was suggesting. Colin. Her old boyfriend whom I had met in college. He graduated in the year ahead of us in fact. Now I’m not a man with many enemies. I tend to see the good in people and when I see the bad in them I tend to give them a chance to grow on me. I give people the benefit of the doubt. Colin, on the other hand, was nothing but an arrogant, self-centered asshole from the moment I first said hello to him.

  But then again he had everything. Graduated top of his class. Quickly opened up his own business and started taking home dollars as though they were going out of style. And then of course there was his chiselled body and oil painting of an appearance.

  Nadia eventually broke it off with him when she figured that she just couldn’t take any more of his love. His love of himself of course. But apart from that, she never mentioned one other bad thing about the man. I always figured that breaking up with him was one of the hardest things that she had ever done. I’m sure she had wanted to do it hundreds of times but she kept getting lured back in by his seductive, masculine, charming....

  “I know he can be an asshole Babe, but at the end of the day we have to look at the bigger picture here. We need to see a therapist. I mean, we really do need to. You’ve admitted that yourself. Right?”

  I got lost in my own thoughts there for a moment. Bloody Colin. God, I hated him.

  I nodded my agreement submissively. She was right, of course.

  “And at the end of the day, Collie, I mean Colin, is the best in the business. You’ve seen the ads, you’ve heard people talking. Everybody knows that he is the best around when it comes to this sort of thing. I know you don’t want to go to him, I know you hate everything about him but if you care about me and if I really am the woman that you want to start a family with, you’ll suck it up and just work through it. Please Babe. I’m asking you for this.”

  Who could say no to that? I stared at the floor as I nodded my head in agreement. She was right. I was just going to have to be a man for once and suck this one up.

  She walked around and hugged me from behind. She leaned over and kissed me gently on the cheek.

  Oh Colin was just going to love this. Nadia’s new husband unable to produce the goods. He wouldn’t say anything in there of course but I just knew he’d give me those horrible looks. The “you’re half the man I am”, kind of looks that kill me inside. All of these negative thoughts flooded my brain as I sat there in Nadia’s warm embrace. What if these meetings, and I prayed that there wouldn’t be many, ended up rekindling an old spark that Nadia might still have for the cocky asshole?

  “Thanks Babe. I’ve already booked us in. We’re going in tomorrow first thing in the morning. He cleared out his schedule for the whole day. Maybe he’s not such a bad guy after all eh?”

  I rolled my eyes.

  ***

  “Dave, how’s it going buddy? It’s been too long. Please, step into my office.”

  Colin gripped my hand, crushing my fingers as he stared straight into my eyes with that cocky grin of his. I maintained eye contact for as long as possible before I eventually withdrew and stared down at the ground before walking in past him to his plush office.

  “Nad! There’s my girl. How have you been keeping? When you called at first I wasn’t sure what was on your mind at all!”

  He smiled broadly as Nadia reached her hand out to him, but he quickly dismissed it before enveloping her in a long hug, rubbing his hand seductively around her shoulders as though trying to warm her body.

  “Come on in guys and make yourselves at home. What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine.”

  Nadia walked over to me as we moved towards two leather chairs that were positioned side by side in front of Colin’s large wooden desk.

  “Oh Dave, I’m sorry, would you mind sitting over there to start. It’s my usual routine with all my clients.”

  He pointed to a basic, hard wooden chair that was perched over by the wall, a good twenty feet from the desk and the comfortable chair that Nadia had taken up.

  “Sure, yeah. Whatever.” I mumbled as I maintained my eye contact with the grey carpet.

  “Okay, so let’s try and see if we can get to the bottom of this. Before we start, let me assure you that you guys are not the first, nor will you be the last to experience sexual problems. Otherwise I’d be out of the job, right? So let’s be very clear on this, I need you both to be completely open and honest with me and of course, my number one rule, what happens in here, stays in here. There is absolute and complete confidentiality inside these four walls. Agreed?”

  “Agreed!” Nadia smiled enthusiastically.

  “Dave?”

  “Sure, I guess.” I stayed staring at the floor, but I have to admit, I was impressed with his opening statement and I began to come around to think that maybe the man would just be here to help us out and not to make me look like a complete and utter fool.

  “Great. So Nadia. We’ll start with you. Tell me everything.”

  “Everything?” She asked, as she furrowed her brow and looked up at her handsome ex.

  “About your sex life.”

  “Oh, well, I guess we haven’t really had one of late. We’ve been trying for a baby recently and I think everything is just a little too much for Dave at the minute. He’s snowed in at work and all of this might have just come at a bad time for him really. That’s what I think anyway.”

  “Not excuses Nadia. We’re not here to play the blame game of to make excuses for anyone else. We’re here to get to the bottom of this.”

  “Okay, sorry. Well, I guess I just haven’t been very satisfied lately. I mean, Dave is a great guy, he’s just the best really! But whatever happens, when it comes to the bedroom, he just can’t seem to get it right. He’s a little bit on the small side, even when he does become erect. Not that that bothers me though. I mean size isn’t everything. I’m not bothered about it at all really but, it’s just that sometimes I’m looking for that little bit more.”

  His eyes bored a hole right through the center of my skull. I sat in my chair, distant from it all with my hands cupped and resting on my lap. I glanced up. Just as I thought, Colin was starting straight at me. Without breaking into a smile or anything, he gave me that look that just screamed out, I pity you.

  “Hey that�
��s better. And you know what? You’re so right! Size really isn’t everything. Hey, it helps when you’ve got it, don’t get me wrong, but even the smallest of men can please the horniest of women. Please excuse my lack of scholarly terminology, but that’s just the way it is!”

  His eyes never left me. I felt my face glowing red as my wife had just discussed how I could not satisfy her in front of her stud of an ex-boyfriend. Hey, it helps when you’ve got it. I didn’t need any help to read between the lines on that one! All he stopped short of was turning and winking at my beautiful wife!

  “It’s basically just a lack of confidence. I’m not going to sugar coat it for you Dave. A fear of failure possibly. It’s about time we stripped things back a bit. Literally I mean.”

  Nadia raised an eyebrow.

  “Now as I said earlier, this is my office and this is my field of study so trust me when I say I know what I’m talking about. I can promise that after this session alone, you’re problems will be solved. Dave, I need you to stand up and strip for me. Let’s get to the bottom of this. You can leave your underwear on.”

  My heart started to race.

  “Excuse me?” I muttered.

  “Stand up and start stripping. You’re just going to have to trust me.”

  At this stage I had no further remnants of pride to lose. I could go no lower than I was at that time. What the hell, I thought. If he said this was going to make it be over after this session alone, then I figured that it was worth a try.

  ***

  “So what do you see when you look at him then?”

  I sat in the hard wooden chair in a pair of plain black boxer briefs, my clothes piled neatly in the corner. Colin and Nadia were staring at me with intent. A smile crept across her face as she licked her lips.

  “I see my husband. The man I married.”

  “Is he really the man you married though? Look closer and think for a minute. What was he like when you married him?”

  Nadia leaned forward slightly as her mind returned to pensive thought. The room was filled with an intense silence before she eventually spoke again.

  “No, I guess you’re right. He is different to the man that I married.”

  “In what way?” Colin enquired, staring straight through me.

  “Well, he was never brimming with confidence, but he had a bit more about himself when I married him. Like he was going somewhere. Modest, but he knew exactly what he was about.”

  “And what about the man you see before you now?” Colin rested his chin on his fist as he sat on the edge of his desk, obviously enjoying the mood in the room.

  “He looks defeated. Like he has lost his fire. Sorry Babe.”

  I bowed my head, resigned to the truth about how my wife saw me.

  “The truth is what we are here for Nad. It’s the only way that you guys are going to push through this mess.”

  Colin stood up from the desk and began to pace around the room. He had removed his jacket early on in the session and he proceeded to undo another button on his fancy white shirt. The top three were now undone.

  “As I said Dave, it’s all about confidence. And I know you had it. Nadia is right, you weren’t brash about it, in fact I’m pretty sure that’s how you won her over, but you still always had it inside you. You knew you were worthwhile. You knew you were good. But now you’ve been reduced to worthless.”

  He strode over to his filing cabinet and pulled out the top drawer. It slammed under his force as he reached inside and pulled out a set of hand cuffs. He tossed them across at me.

  “Your choice buddy, some like them, others don’t but either way you know what’s about to happen.”

  My jaw dropped. Colin strode over to where Nadia was sitting and lifted her up onto the desk.

  “If it’s going to make us better Babe then just do it. You promised you’d go through with everything today.”

  Colin was already starting to undo the buckle of his belt as I sat motionless, almost paralysed in my chair. This had to be a bad dream. And yet, I was getting strangely caught up in it. I stared down at the restraints on my lap and picked them up, feeling the cold metal against my skin. Colin and Nadia looked over at me to see what I would do. I strapped one end to my wrist and the other through the arm of my chair.

  “Good boy.” Colin winked over at me. “Stand up for me.”

  I tried to stand up but felt myself get jolted back down. The chair was bolted to the ground. I sat back in, consumed by a feeling of complete and utter helplessness.

  ***

  Clothes flashed across the room in a blur. Expensive trousers and a shirt were flung across in my direction, landing at my feet, as if to emphasise the fact that my wife was about to be pleasured in front of me.

  Colin stood tall beside her, playing with her dress in his tight boxer briefs. A notable bulge protruded from behind the rich material as he stared deep into her eyes before expertly lifting her dress clean over her head and firing it out of the way.

  Nadia kicked her heels off as she reached down and started inspecting Colin’s bulge. Her eyes widened as she remembered what she had let go all those years ago.

  “Starting to think you made a mistake letting me go?” Colin asked cheekily as he peered out at me from over Nadia’s shoulder.

  “Shut up you.” She whispered as she leaned in and kissed him.

  She instinctively wrapped her leg around his waist, just as she had done to me a couple of nights ago. He grabbed it roughly with his left hand, pulling it higher up his body, while he ran his right hand through her perfect hair as he dove deeper into her mouth.

  Taking her full weight in one arm, Colin lifted her up and carried her across the room until he stopped about five feet away from where I was sitting. He gently lowered her to the ground, placing her carefully onto her back before lowering his own body on top of her. He allowed himself to lie there, chest to chest with my wife, before arching his back up, supporting his weight on his strong hands. His chiselled abs glistened as he looked straight up at me.

  “She has been dreaming about this moment since she realised you were nothing more than a miserable excuse of a man. You should have brought a pen with you to take notes because this is how a real man goes to work.” Colin sniggered as he raised his right leg up and swung it across Nadia’s body so that she was mounted completely.

  I couldn’t help but stare at the stud’s immense bulge, wishing that I had been bestowed with such size.

  He pressed his hips tight against hers, the material of his boxer briefs rubbing against her skimpy, lace thong. I looked down at my wife’s face which rested just in front of my feet. Already, beads of sweat were starting to form on her forehead as she shut her eyes tightly, presumably in an attempt not to climax before they had even begun. I felt my own cock start to stir as I looked on helplessly.

  Colin continued to grind his covered package against my wife, all the while staring deep into my eyes.

  “You want this bad don’t you Baby?” He asked Nadia, all the while refusing to avert his gaze from me.

  “Mmmhmmm.” Was all that she could respond with as she started moving her legs wildly, unable to control her body against Colin’s irresistible touch.

  “Time to show me how much you want it then.”

  Colin sprang to his knees and began crawling up her body until he was straddling her neck. I breathed in his masculine scent as he dropped himself right onto Nadia’s chin.

  “Here’s what a real man looks like.” He sneered, his eyes still locked onto my face. My jaw dropped as Colin slid his boxer briefs down his muscular legs, kicking them off to one side. He reached down to grab them and threw them up so that they landed on my lap.

  “Something to remember the day by. Although I don’t think you’ll be forgetting this anytime soon.”

  Nadia gulped as his ten inch member dropped across her face before sliding down her cheek.

  “It’s been a long time since you’ve seen something like this, hasn’t it
babe?”

  “Mmmhmmmm!” Was all that Nadia was able to mutter once more.

  Colin grabbed his rapidly expanding cock in his hand and proceeded to administer a few quick pumps. Jesus Christ, did that thing ever stop growing? I thought as I sat there, dumbfounded.

  “You want it baby? Speak to me. Tell your little husband here what you want.”

  Colin smiled broadly as he humiliated me further in front of my wife.

  “I want your cock. Please let me have it.” Nadia was falling to pieces in front of me. I had never seen such lust in her eyes before.

  “But you have your husband’s cock every night. What ever would you want mine for?”