Desperate (Cunningham Security Series Book 3)

by A. K. Evans

  A couple hours later, after we’d gotten Ekko’s new dress and shoes and I had taken her and my sister out for dinner, I took my girl home.

  “That’s a lot of cars.”

  My voice had an edge of anxiety, but mostly I was dumbfounded at just how many people were in attendance.

  Dom and I were in his truck and had just pulled into the parking lot at the venue for Elle and Levi’s wedding.

  Dom reached across the center console, wrapped his hand around mine, and said, “They’ve got a lot of people who love them.”

  Love.

  Something I thought I experienced in my relationship with Ryan.

  Now, being with Dom, I knew that what I had with Ryan wasn’t love. In the beginning of our relationship, things were okay…good even. He was nice enough, showed an interest in me, and we got along well. Somewhere along the line, about halfway into our relationship, that feeling fizzled for me and it never really came back. It saddened me to know I stuck around simply because at the beginning of the end, I was desperate for a connection to anyone. And at the end of it, I stayed because I was desperate to survive.

  It was different with Dom. The spark, the intensity of emotion, was always there. I knew it was still very early in our relationship, but this feeling was different from what I felt with Ryan. I didn’t want to compare the two relationships; however, it was hard to miss how consuming the connection I had to Dom was.

  “They’re very lucky,” I replied, my voice giving me away. It was filled with hope. Hope that I’d one day get to a place where I’d have people in my life who loved me.

  Dom simply smiled at me before he leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. When he pulled back, he instructed, “Stay there. I’m coming around to help you out.”

  I watched as Dom got out of the truck and opened the back door on his side. He pulled out his jacket for his suit and put it on. That alone was enough to make a girl fall in love. From the moment I met him, I felt an undeniable attraction to Dom. His protective and nurturing disposition drew me in. The size and power in his body captivated me. And the dimples hooked me.

  But now he was all that he was, and he was all of that in a suit. He was divine. He exuded confidence and strength with each step he took, something that would leave most people quaking in their boots. When he opened my door and helped me out, though, all of that tough, hard exterior that strangers saw melted away.

  I looked up at him after he closed the door. He wrapped an arm around my waist and his face softened as he looked at me.

  Just like it always did.

  I loved that.

  I loved him.

  The realization hit me full force and I nearly stumbled. Dom was quick to catch me. “Are you alright?”

  I couldn’t tell him.

  Could I?

  What would I do if I told him how I felt, and the feeling wasn’t mutual? Dom made it clear he cared about me; I didn’t doubt that. But love was something else entirely. Knowing how I felt about him, I wasn’t sure I would be able to handle knowing he didn’t feel the same.

  “I’m good,” I started. “I think I’ve got to get used to these shoes.”

  Dom held my hand as we walked across the parking lot to the venue. Elle and Levi had decided to have their wedding at the Parks Ridge Ski Resort in Rising Sun. I hadn’t ever been to the resort before, but I already knew it was going to be beautiful inside.

  Once we entered the building that was off to the right of the main lodge, we were directed to the second floor, where I immediately understood why they chose this location. The views were breathtaking and provided the perfect backdrop to a markedly romantic occasion.

  Dom guided me down the aisle toward a row of empty seats. We sat down and were joined a few minutes later by some of the guys from Cunningham Security. It surprised me that Levi didn’t have any of his co-workers in his wedding party.

  I leaned into Dom and stated softly, “I thought you guys were all close.”

  “We are.”

  “Didn’t he want to have any of you in the wedding?”

  Dom wrapped his arm around my shoulder and shook with a laugh. “Including Levi, there are nine guys who work closely together. Levi also recently hired a tenth guy to handle some things in the office, plus we have Deb who works as the receptionist. Considering he’s got two brothers plus Elle’s brother, Wes, they would have had a really large wedding party.”

  “I can’t imagine being in a position where I’d have to choose who to not have in my wedding. It seems like such a wonderful problem to have.”

  Dom’s fingers squeezed my shoulder in response.

  I didn’t want to be a downer, but being here made me realize just how much I didn’t have. And it had nothing to do with money.

  It wasn’t much later when the ceremony started. As I watched Levi and Elle join their lives together, I felt a pang of jealousy wash over me. They both had been nothing but kind to me and I was truly happy for them, but I wanted what they had. More than I wanted to become a librarian, I wanted to feel like I belonged somewhere. That I belonged with someone. Dom felt like that person for me, but I wasn’t sure I was it for him. I’d never be able to give him what he deserved. I’m sure to anyone who saw me, I looked like a typical woman at a wedding…overcome with such emotion and on the verge of tears. It was true, but my emotions went deeper. I was longing for something I wasn’t sure I’d ever have.

  The ceremony concluded, and I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to ruin Dom’s evening, so I did my best to push the self-loathing thoughts to the back of my mind. I was going to try to turn the rest of the night around.

  Roughly an hour later, Dom and I were seated at a table for the reception in the ballroom. Between the end of the ceremony and now, Dom had introduced me to more than a handful of people and I was worried I’d have to remember everyone’s name. I was typically good at remembering names, but this was overwhelming.

  “I’ll be right by your side all night,” Dom whispered into my ear. “You won’t have to worry about forgetting who someone is.”

  A rush of air left me. That was a relief.

  “Would you like another drink?” he asked.

  “I’m good for right now,” I replied. “I’m a lightweight, so I should probably wait until I have some food in me before I consume any more alcohol, though. It could be disastrous otherwise.”

  Dom laughed. “I’d take care of you.”

  “I have no doubts about that,” I joked back.

  Over the course of the next few minutes, the parents of the bride and groom, the bridal party, and Levi and Elle were all introduced. Shortly afterward, dinner was being served, drinks were flowing, and the music was playing. Once dinner was finished, Levi and Elle shared their first dance together before the bridal party joined them for the next song. Following that, Elle and her father danced together before Levi and his mom did.

  After all the formal dances had finished, the wedding guests were invited to join in the festivities on the dance floor.

  “Let’s go,” Dom declared as he stood from his chair.

  “Are we leaving?”

  He gave me a disbelieving look. “We’re going to dance.”

  “I don’t…I don’t dance,” I stammered, fear having taken over, rendering my body completely stiff. It’s not that I had any issues with the act of dancing. I simply hadn’t ever done it and didn’t know how.

  Dom wasn’t going to accept that because he slid my chair away from the table and held his hand out to me. “It’s a slow song, Ekko. It’s easy, especially since you’ll be in my arms.”

  Dom’s arms were always a haven for me, a place I always felt safe, so I figured I could trust he’d see to it that I didn’t make a fool of myself. On that thought, I placed my hand in his and allowed him to guide me to the dance floor. Keeping my hand in his, he pulled it up to his chest between us as he wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me into his body.

  My wide eyes stared up at
him. All I got in return was the softest, sweetest smile, complete with dimples. With that, Dom showed me how to dance. It really was easy, especially considering I just had to follow his lead. When the song ended, he lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me. It was filled with such tenderness and I found myself melting farther into him as the music flowed into another song.

  “What are the chances I’m going to be able to talk you into staying out here with me when the music is no longer slow?” he suddenly asked.

  My body stiffened. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I have no idea what I’m doing.”

  “I’ll teach you,” he offered.

  I thought on it, knowing I needed to let loose and have fun. “Okay, but I think I might need another drink or two in me before I can do it.”

  “I can make that happen.”

  At that moment, a hand tapped Dom on the shoulder. We both looked to the side to see Levi’s father, David, standing there. He was looking at Dom when he asked, “Would you mind if I cut in for a song?”

  Dom looked to me, silently confirming I was comfortable with it. After I dipped my chin in agreement, Dom stepped to the side and held on to me until I was in David’s embrace.

  “How are you doing, Ekko?” David wondered.

  “Very well. Thank you.”

  We spent the remainder of the song chatting. Once I congratulated him on his son’s marriage, we moved the conversation to other topics. I brought him up to speed on all the new things happening in my life with school and work. He was genuinely interested in hearing about it and I had to admit to myself just how good it felt to have that. It made me a bit nostalgic, wondering why my own father never even stuck around to see me come into the world. I had no idea who he was.

  When the song ended, David and I parted ways. He walked in the opposite direction to his wife while I turned toward the table Dom and I had been seated at for dinner. Dom was standing with his back to me as he talked with a man and a woman. I recognized them as part of the bridal party but didn’t know who they were.

  As I made my way through the crowd, Dom turned to the side and I stopped in my tracks. I couldn’t move. He was holding a baby. A baby that looked brand new. It was, by far, the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life.

  I’m not sure how much time passed, but I was eventually pulled from my catatonic state when Dom looked in my direction. His eyes found mine and he grinned. I walked the rest of the way toward him. Once I was by his side, he said, “Ekko, this is Elle’s brother, Wes Blackman, his wife, Charley, and their newborn baby boy, Taj.”

  I held my hand out to them. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

  “You too, Ekko,” they replied in unison.

  I looked to the baby in Dom’s arms and gushed, “He’s beautiful. Congratulations!”

  “Hey Wes,” Dom interrupted. “Why don’t you take your wife out for a dance? Ekko and I will hang with Taj.”

  Charley looked a bit nervous, but Wes immediately thanked Dom and ushered his wife to the dance floor.

  “She didn’t seem too comfortable leaving her baby with us,” I noted.

  Dom pulled out my chair so I could sit before he lowered his body in the chair next to me. “It’s not us. She’s overly protective. He’s the only blood family she’s got.”

  Maybe there was hope for me after all.

  I dropped my eyes to Taj and felt a sense of longing wash over me. I couldn’t wait to be a mother. No matter what else I could accomplish in my life, I knew that I’d put more effort and energy into being the best mom I could be.

  “Do you want to hold him?”

  Looking up in Dom’s eyes, I nodded. Seconds later, I was holding a sleeping Taj in my arms and I was so content. I sat there staring down at the beautiful baby boy, wondering how my mother was able to see me as a baby and not feel an overwhelming sense of obligation to protect and nurture me. Taj wasn’t mine and I had just met his parents, but I knew looking at him that I’d sacrifice myself to protect him.

  His whole hand held on to my one finger as I brushed my thumb across his knuckles. I felt myself getting emotional, but thankfully, an interruption broke me out of my thoughts.

  “How’s my nephew doing?” a very pregnant woman asked as she came up and pressed a kiss to Taj’s head.

  “He’s your nephew?” I wondered.

  “I’m Emme, and Charley’s my best friend,” she stated. It was then Dom jumped in and explained that Emme was Levi’s sister-in-law. She was married to Levi’s brother, Zane, a professional snowboarder who was standing right beside her. That is, he stood there only long enough to be introduced to me because he pulled up a chair for his wife.

  “Sit, sweetheart,” he encouraged her gently. “I don’t want the girls making their debut tonight.”

  My eyes rounded. “Girls?”

  Emme huffed as she sat down. “Twin girls. I’m in the home stretch now. I think they’ll be here early and I’ll have them in time for Christmas.”

  “That’s so exciting!”

  She smiled as she dropped her head to rest against Zane’s hip. He was still standing beside her. “It is,” she agreed. “But I’m utterly exhausted at this point.”

  Emme was adorable, but it was no surprise she was so tired. I couldn’t imagine having to prepare for two babies.

  Dom and I spent the next little while talking with Emme and Zane until Wes and Charley joined us again. Sadly, I had to give up Taj, but I was beyond grateful for the time I could hold him.

  As the evening wore on, I had another drink and Dom managed to get me out on the dance floor. With the liquid courage in my body, I had loosened up enough to not care how stupid I may have looked on the dance floor. I certainly wasn’t as reserved as usual, but I wouldn’t have considered myself to be drunk. I was happy about that because I learned the one thing I had been hearing about so much to be true.

  Dom was the life of the party.

  This wasn’t the first time I’d seen him show just how much fun he could have. It was, however, the first I’d seen it in a setting with such a large crowd. I also noticed that most of the guys he worked with weren’t as willing to step out on the dance floor. Dom was certainly my opposite when it came to his outgoing personality, but I truly believed that was one of the things that made him perfect for me.

  Several hours later, we had arrived back at Dom’s house. After we’d showered together, we climbed into his bed, where Dom was on his back and had curled me into his body.

  “I had such a good time tonight,” I shared, with my cheek pressed to his chest.

  “Me too. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

  We both went silent for a few minutes before I finally spoke again. “You looked pretty incredible holding Taj.”

  I felt his body vibrate with laughter beneath me. “I thought the same thing when I saw you holding him.”

  “Do you want to have kids one day?”

  “Yes.”

  “How many?”

  “Four.”

  I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest. “Four? Really?”

  “At least. I mean, I’d be fine with five, too.”

  I stared at him in disbelief.

  “Don’t you want kids?” he asked. I sensed a bit of worry in his tone.

  “I’ve always wanted a big family. I want lots of babies. And I want to give them everything I never had.”

  Dom didn’t reply.

  I decided to continue, “I want to be the best mom in the world.”

  “I have no doubts you’ll be exactly that,” he remarked.

  “You think so?”

  “I know it.”

  I put my head back down on his chest. A few moments of silence passed before I said, “I love that you want the same thing as me.”

  Dom squeezed me before he replied, “Me too, sugar.”

  Take the good with the bad.

  I had been repeating that in my head for longer than I could remember.

  My life, until
recently, had been filled with very little good and a whole lot of bad. I tried not to let it get me down, but it wasn’t easy. That’s not to say that I didn’t have any good; it’s just that there wasn’t much of it. At least, not until recently.

  Until Dom.

  From the moment he walked into my life, the scales began to tip favorably in my direction. It wasn’t always great, and I expected to still experience hiccups along the way, but I was no longer feeling completely weighed down by my bad fortune.

  Over the last few weeks, I had been experiencing an abundance of positivity. First and foremost, I adored my job. Each day, I looked forward to what that job brought me in terms of personal fulfillment. Beyond that, it gave me something I couldn’t remember ever having.

  Friendship.

  Kate and I had forged a solid friendship. What I loved about it was that it wasn’t built on pity or obligation. While she didn’t know the deep, dark truth of my past, I found that she was someone I could trust to be a true friend. She shared details of her life openly and she did it without shame or fear of judgment. I loved that about her and wished I could be as confident as her.

  The week after Levi and Elle’s wedding, Kate and I were having lunch together when she blurted, “I think I’m in love with him.”

  “What? Who?”

  “Brett.”

  Brett was Kate’s boyfriend and I’d learned a lot about him in the short time I’d been working with her at the library. He worked construction and, from everything Kate told me, put in a lot of hours to make a good living. Most importantly, she never complained about the way he treated her.

  “You think you’re in love?” I asked.

  After taking a bite of her sandwich, she nodded and added, “It just hit me this morning while I was getting ready. I love my sleep and Brett knows it. I stayed at his place last night and struggled to wake up this morning. Even though he’s got the more physically demanding job, he doesn’t let exhaustion stop him from giving a hundred percent of himself to me when we’re together. He woke up this morning, made breakfast, and brought it to me in bed so that I could get those few extra minutes.”