The Ranger's Forgiveness (Army Ranger Romance Book 5)

by Bree Livingston

  Without trying, he’d scared her, and no matter how badly she’d hurt him, he wasn’t that guy. “I’m not saying it will, but it could, and you need to know what to do.” He stuck the key in and opened the door.

  “Okay,” she whispered.

  Elijah stepped in first and glanced around. He reached behind him and pulled her flush against his back as he checked the house. The tingles racing up his spine should have been expected, but his senses were lit up. The feel of her, how she always fit just right. He had to knock that off. It was just a physical response to a relationship long over. He needed to focus on the task at hand.

  With the check of the house done, he made his way back to the living room. He dropped his arm to his side, stepped away, and put a good distance between them. “Okay, it’s clear.” But his emotions weren’t. Every time he was near her, everything became muddied. His heart just couldn’t get on board with his determination to keep her at a distance.

  “Okay.”

  Pulling out his phone, he tapped the screen and put it to his ear. “Hey, Mia.”

  “Hi. You’ve made it to Roswell?”

  “Yeah. House is clear. How about Taylor’s phone?”

  “There was a tracer, and I killed it. I also installed a blocker on it. If they try again, they’ll be dealing with me.” She laughed. “Now to her computer, which will be easier if I’m on speaker.”

  “Sure.” He took it from his ear and tapped the screen again. “On speaker.”

  “Hi, Taylor, this is Mia. I’m going to be the one snooping around on your computer.”

  “Uh, hi,” Taylor replied. “Thank you for helping me.”

  The phone buzzed, and Elijah grumbled before touching the screen. Mia’s face popped up on the phone, and she smiled. “This is so much better.”

  Taylor’s lips spread into a smile that made Elijah’s heart pound. His pep talks needed serious work. Plus, he knew Mia would see his reaction, and the woman was a meddler. “You sure you needed to video chat to do this?” he asked.

  Mia quirked an eyebrow up. “I certainly do.” She turned her attention to Taylor. “Don’t let him be grumpy to you.”

  “Mia.” Elijah made sure his tone carried a warning.

  “Elijah,” she said, mimicking his tone.

  Taylor chuckled, but it sounded off. “It’s okay. What do you need from me?”

  “Well, it seems you’re very good about saving power, because I did try to access your desktop earlier but couldn’t.”

  “Yeah, when I go out of town, I try to turn everything off.”

  Mia nodded. “That’s smart. Would you mind getting it powered up now?”

  “Sure.” Taylor walked to her desk, plugged her computer in, and booted it up. “I’ve tried very hard to keep my identity a secret.”

  Elijah took the phone and leaned it against the monitor so Mia could continue talking to Taylor. While they worked on that, he walked around her townhome. There was no doubt this was her home. There were little touches that spoke to Taylor’s tastes in decor.

  A soft brown leather sofa lined the two windows facing the street, and a second couch faced it with a dainty-looking sofa table sitting behind it. Two chairs with bright colors were next to each other with their backs to the kitchen. As far as design, the house seemed spacious.

  On the walls, there were pictures of her family through the years. What really caught his eye was her mom’s needlework, framed and hanging in various spots on the wall. He came to one that was half-finished, and his breath caught. It was the last one Momma Mabrey had worked on.

  Lifting it off the wall, he studied it. The stitches were delicate like her. She always did ones with flowers and some saying that he suspected gave her encouragement. If you’re feeling helpless, help someone. -- Aung San Suu Kyi

  Had Momma Mabrey felt helpless? The last time he saw her, he was so out of his mind that he couldn’t remember asking her how she felt or how she was doing. He’d been so caught up in his own troubles that he hadn’t stopped to even notice. And now he couldn’t remember. He could see her face, but was he remembering the truth or what he wanted to see?

  “Elijah?”

  Without turning around, he said, “Yeah?” He tried masking the emotion, but his voice came out thick and low.

  Taylor drew closer. “Mia said she’d call back in a second. Are you okay?”

  “This was her last needlework piece. I remember her working on it. The last time I saw her…” His voice broke, and he hung the frame back up. “If you don’t mind, I’ll check the rest of the house.”

  “Of course.” She paused. “Elijah?”

  “Yes?” he asked, keeping his back to her.

  “I know you can’t trust me, but please trust that Mom loved you. With all her heart.”

  The massive lump in his throat prevented a response, so he nodded and strode out of the room as fast as his legs would take him. Quickly stopping inside the first room he came to, he braced his hand against the wall, wiped his eyes, and stood there, trying to regain his composure.

  When he got home, he was reading her letter. So far, he’d put it off, claiming it was to keep her alive a little longer. In truth, it was because he was a chicken. He didn’t want her to be gone, but what if there was something inside that letter? Something that would be hard to read? It was her last words to him. What if those words could help him with his current situation? Had he handled any of this trip with the same dignity and grace as she had while she battled cancer? No, and that was certainly worse than a broken heart.

  An even better question…was he handling any of this the way God would want him to? He was human with feelings, and he didn’t want to get hurt again. Then there was Taylor. He’d made her cry. Could he treat her with compassion and kindness and keep his distance at the same time?

  Spending time with Taylor was difficult. She still had so much power over him. He could see himself falling for her again. An old role that was easy to slip into. Guarding his heart and treating her the way she should be treated…it was such a sharp two-edged sword.

  Elijah had no idea how to walk such a tightrope. His only hope was a lot of prayer and even more mercy.

  Chapter 13

  Smiling, Taylor picked up the phone and held it out as she video-chatted with Mia. “Thank you so much for calling back and letting me know.”

  Mia shrugged. “Are you kidding? This stuff is fun.”

  “Glad you think so. I had no idea I was at such risk.”

  “Most people don’t. I mean, no one ever thinks something will happen to them. It’s always someone else. But the good thing is that the person coming after you hasn’t divulged your real name. Now they won’t be able to. I’ve created a series of firewalls. If someone manages to get through them, I’ll know who it is because there is only one other person as good as me.” She laughed. “And he knows not to mess with me.”

  Taylor laughed. “I really like you.”

  Mia tilted her head. “Aw. Thanks. How are you doing, though? Really?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know.”

  “Well, don’t let Elijah push you around. I mean, listen to him when it comes to your safety, but don’t let him give you grief otherwise.”

  “We kind of have a history,” Taylor said, casting her gaze to the desktop. “I’m not sure I have a say.”

  “My husband lied about who he was when I first met him. He thought I was involved with this bad guy. I was so angry with him at first that I could have hung him up by his toenails, but he had a reason. A good reason, and I had to decide if I was willing to forgive him or not. It’s safe to say, he was worth forgiving.”

  Taylor blinked back tears. “He’s not the one who needs forgiveness. It’s me.”

  Narrowing her eyes, Mia leaned in. “How can I help? I mean, that is if I can help. If this happens to involve a trail, I can find it.”

  Taylor jerked her gaze to the phone. Had someone heard that pathetic little prayer? “Really?”

&
nbsp; Mia nodded. “Oh yeah.”

  Taylor looked around and found Elijah nowhere. She grabbed the phone and trotted to the master bathroom, shut the door, and locked it. “What I say to you is confidential, right?”

  “Absolutely. I won’t tell a soul.”

  This was it. Her chance. If this failed, she’d consider her future set. The one that didn’t include Elijah. “Okay. You can’t tell anyone. Not even Elijah.”

  “Not a word. It’ll be between us.”

  As Taylor quietly spilled her guts, Mia listened with rapt attention, staying silent the entire time. When she’d finished, it felt so much different than telling Julie. Perhaps because this woman had a means to maybe fix what Taylor had broken.

  Shaking her head, Mia pinched her lips together. “That’s awful. For you especially. That woman knew what she was doing, and she was using your weakest point against you.”

  Taylor sniffed. “You have no idea. I loved Elijah, and I didn’t feel like I had a choice.”

  With a grunt, Mia said, “Which means there has to be a paper trail.” Mia’s eyes widened. “Wait. You said how much?”

  “Two million.”

  Mia lifted an eyebrow and sat back. “I’m looking for it.”

  Taylor knitted her eyebrows together. “What?”

  “Elijah has me looking into a large withdrawal. It’s a complete mystery. When he called about you, I set it to the side because you sounded more important, but now? I’m back on it. There’s no way the two aren’t linked.”

  For the first time since high school, Taylor felt a glimmer of hope. “I know there’s no way Elijah would want anything to do with me. Not after I sold out, but if I can at least explain, maybe we can be friends.”

  “Taylor, you didn’t sell out. She took the choice away from you when she threatened your dad. It was your mom, and that trial was working, or it seemed like it was at the time. Ruth was a grown woman preying on a child who was desperate to keep her mother alive. I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t have done the same thing.”

  “Maybe, but that still doesn’t mean Elijah will ever really forgive me or trust me again. The best I can wish for is a semblance of friendship.”

  “Friends, huh? Nothing more?”

  Shaking her head, Taylor sighed. “No, you haven’t seen the way he’s looked at me. He’ll never be able to totally forgive me. Not after dumping him the way I did. The horrible things I said to him? I don’t see that it’s possible.”

  “Maybe, but I don’t think so. Either way, I’ll start working on it. We’ll figure this out one way or another.” Mia narrowed her eyes. “I’m very good at my job. If I can’t find it, no one can.”

  Taylor couldn’t help herself. She snickered. “I hope I get to meet you in person one day. Thank you so much. For listening. For everything. I haven’t felt so light in a long time.”

  “A friend of Elijah’s is a friend of mine.”

  “Thanks. If you need anything else from me, just let me know.”

  After ending the call, Taylor looked skyward from her perch on top of the toilet seat. “I don’t know if you’re still out there or still listening or what. But if you are, please. Please let me give this to Elijah. I’m begging you.”

  With the prayer whispered, she walked out of the bathroom and stopped just as the hallway opened to the living room. She leaned against it and, for a moment, she watched Elijah as he stood with his back to her, looking around her apartment.

  “It’s not nice to spy on people.”

  Taylor jumped. “I wasn’t.”

  “Didn’t exactly announce yourself.” He turned, and a small smile quirked on his lips. Raking his hand through his hair, his gaze dipped to the floor. “I’m sorry for being so angry. What happened was a long time ago, and I need to let it go. You’ve lost your home and…” He paused and took a deep breath. “You deserve compassion and understanding. I apologize for not showing that to you.”

  Her feet were moving toward Elijah before her brain had a chance to even weigh the consequences or his reaction. She circled her arms around his neck. “You don’t owe me anything.” Oh, she wanted to say so much more, but her heart was in her throat. He’d apologized to her. It was all she could do not to curl into a ball and cry.

  For a moment, he was a statue, and then he wrapped his arms around her. “It wasn’t for you. It’s so I can look at myself in the mirror.”

  Nodding, she leaned back. “Right. Just…thank you anyway.” She tilted her head as a little red dot appeared on his shoulder. “What’s that?”

  He looked down, and the next second, he was forcing her to the floor. “Get down, now.”

  After that, everything happened so fast. Did he grab her and cover her with his body first? Did the window shatter after that or at the same time? There was no way to tell. She squeezed her eyes shut as a few more windows shattered from the bullets raining into her home. Finally, they stopped, and she was so shaken she didn’t move for a while.

  Something wet dripped onto her neck. She touched her hand to the spot, and when she pulled back, her fingers had blood on them. Had she been shot? “Elijah! I think I’ve been shot.”

  He didn’t say a word. Maybe he was being cautious. After all, he did have the training. The person shooting at them could have been reloading. But what if she was bleeding out? She didn’t feel shot, but it wasn’t like she went around getting shot all the time either. What did it even feel like? Maybe she was in shock and didn’t know it.

  “Elijah,” she whispered and shook him. “Elijah.” This time she pushed hard and rolled him off of her so she could sit up. “I think—” Her breath caught. A long groove went from his right eyebrow into his hair, and little beads of blood were trailing down the side of his face.

  He groaned and touched the side of his head. With a grunt, he tried to push up and fell back. “Are you okay?”

  Was she okay? No, not by a long shot. She took his face in her hands. “I’m fine, but are you okay?”

  “Stay down,” he mumbled, wrapping an arm around her back and pulling her flush against his chest. “The shooter could still be out there.”

  “You were shot.”

  “I don’t think so. I think I hit my head on the table. Headache is already brewing.” He opened his eyes just a sliver. “You sure you’re okay? You weren’t hit, right?”

  She shook her head. “No.”

  Elijah cupped her jaw and brushed his thumb across her cheek. “I had this dream a lot when we were captured.”

  “Captured?”

  Cloudy eyes met hers. “Yeah.” Then he did something she never expected him to do. He slid his hand behind her neck and pulled her down until their lips were almost touching. “This was always my favorite dream,” he whispered against her mouth and pressed his lips to hers.

  The last time Elijah kissed her—really kissed her—was two weeks before they graduated. She’d pulled back after Ruth’s threat, and anytime he’d tried after that, she’d found a reason to get away. Kissing him when she knew what was coming was wrong, and even then, she’d known she couldn’t do that to him.

  For years, she’d wished she’d kissed him just one last time. Really kissed him. She would have committed it to memory. The one thing she’d regretted the most was that. The feeling of him pressed against her and holding her had grown so faint in the years after that she’d struggled to remember what it was like to kiss him and feel loved by him.

  Closing her eyes, she gave in to the feel of his lips against hers, even as a second of guilt hit her. He wasn’t thinking right, and she knew it. But it was Elijah. The love of her life. The man she’d planned her future with. What if this was the last kiss she ever got? Was it wrong to want to savor it?

  A low moan tickled her lips as his fingers trailed from her neck into her hair and he deepened the kiss. She’d always loved the way he kissed her. Slow and sweet, as if every time he was drinking her in just as much as the last. Since losing him, she’d craved the gentle way he
held her, kissed her, and loved her. He was always tender, treating her like she was precious and valued. The past nine years, she’d never met anyone she cared for as much as she cared for him. There never was anyone but him, and she was certain there never would be.

  The kiss slowly came to an end.

  Just as she leaned back, his hand fell from her hair.

  “Elijah?” She shook him. “Elijah!” It had to be more than a simple graze to the temple. Pulling her phone out of her jeans pocket, she quickly dialed 9-1-1 and palmed his cheek. “Please be okay.”

  Chapter 14

  Elijah grimaced as the woman paramedic treated the wound from where the bullet grazed. It wasn’t the table he’d hit his head on after all. “That stings.” He moved away. “I think I’m fine, though.”

  Taylor had called 9-1-1, and along with the police, the paramedics had arrived. He’d been unconscious when they got to the scene, but he’d quickly come to, and now he just wanted them to leave him alone.

  “They’re just trying to help. You were nearly shot,” Taylor said. He’d been relieved to find out she hadn’t been hurt. The shooter had continued to fire several rounds into the house. In reality, it was a miracle she was okay.

  She’d been hovering around since he woke up, but he figured it was because she’d never seen someone shot before. At the moment, she stood back while the paramedic checked Elijah’s vision and bandaged his head.

  He did feel weird and a little awkward around her. After he’d been shot, he had the most vivid dream he’d ever had. When he was captured, he’d dreamed of kissing Taylor one more time, but the dream always ended right before their lips touched. Not this time, and it had been incredible. Almost like it was really happening. So real that his lips felt like he’d actually kissed her.

  It was nonsense and nothing more than a dream, but the realness of it had shaken him. No, that wasn’t true. What had shaken him was how much he wanted it, and still wanted it. It had reminded him of all the times he’d kissed her. They’d get so caught up in each other that the world wouldn’t exist. He’d loved her so much back then. Back then being the keywords, and he needed to remember that.