Accidentally on Purpose 6 Book Box Set

by L. D. Davis

  “Distract me?” I cut in bitterly.

  “Your mother didn’t want you to hold back. She wanted you to have a chance without her illness on your shoulders.”

  “Do you understand how fucking selfish that makes me look? Do you have any idea how much guilt I feel now? You guys made a piss poor decision about my life, and you didn’t give me a chance to choose!”

  “We believed we were doing the right thing for you,” Fred argued.

  “Do you know who has been making the ‘right’ decisions for me for the last few years? Me! Not you. Not my mom. Not Sam. Me. You were all wrong!”

  There was a long silence on the other end. I was breathing heavily as I paced back and forth as far as the cord would let me. I had never felt such anger in my entire life, and I had never felt so cheated. Maybe I wouldn’t have given up my career, but I would have spent my time with my mom more wisely.

  “Did you talk to your mom about this?” Fred finally asked.

  “No,” I said. “I can’t. I won’t stress her out like that.”

  “So, you’re taking your anger and distress out on us,” he concluded.

  I dropped into the chair and closed my eyes. Tears squeezed through anyway.

  “Yes,” I admitted. “And I apologize, but…” There wasn’t a but, not really. It was exactly as he said. The one person responsible for telling me was lying in bed, probably in excruciating pain even while she slept. It wasn’t Fred’s duty to tell me, nor Sam’s. As much like real parents that they were to me, my mom was still my actual mom, and they had to abide by her wishes.

  “Now that you know, what are you going to do?” Fred asked after a minute of quiet.

  “I’m going to try to give her as much time as I can,” I said, sniffing. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and simply allowed my tears to fall into my lap. “But I’m going to keep working. She seems to really want that, and frankly, I really want that.”

  “That sounds like a very sensible plan, Kiddo,” Fred said gently.

  My cell phone began to ring in the other room. I put Fred on hold and ran to answer it.

  “Hey, beautiful,” Felix said cheerfully.

  “Hi,” I said, walking back to the living room. “What’s up?”

  “I know you’re probably tired from flying, but you’ll have to get over it. They want to see you. Now.”

  “Now?” I asked, running a hand through my hair.

  “Now. They’re doing me a huge favor by even entertaining the idea of ‘some unknown model wannabe’ taking this part, regardless of how small it is. They have other people that can easily take the spot, so you need to get your hot ass down here and prove me right.”

  I had barely looked at the script, but I didn’t have a choice. I had to prove that I could do it not only after a day of travel but also on short notice.

  “Okay,” I relented. “How do I get there?”

  “I’ve already sent a car over to get you. You should be downstairs in fifteen minutes or so.”

  “Okay.”

  “Did you learn your lines?”

  “Kind of,” I said hurriedly. “Look, if you want me downstairs in fifteen minutes, I have to go. I have to get ready.”

  “Right. I’ll see you soon, okay?”

  “Yeah, bye.” I said and hung up before he could respond. I picked up the phone on the desk. “Fred?”

  “I’m here,” Fred answered.

  “And me,” Emmy said. “And mom,” she said with a little less enthusiasm.

  “How quaint,” I muttered. “I have to go. Felix just called, and they want to see me now.”

  “Good luck!” Emmy said. “Kiss Felix for me. Like, really kiss him. Put your tongue in his mouth and—”

  “Emmy,” Fred growled in warning.

  “Make sure you fix your hair before you go,” Sam said quickly. “I wouldn’t wear it in a headband like you sometimes do. Makes you look homely and unattractive.”

  “Thanks?” I said, shaking my head. “I gotta go.”

  “We love you!” Emmy rushed before I could hang up.

  I sighed and gave a silent prayer of thanks that I had this insane adopted family.

  “I love you guys too. Thank you. For everything.”

  “You’re welcome, Kiddo,” Fred said and then hastily added. “We’ll continue our conversation at another time.”

  I hung up the phone and then rushed into the bedroom to get ready. I recited the lines out loud and carried the script with me. I was going to nail those lines or go back to New York a loser.

  *~*~*

  “Hey, can you hang around a couple of hours?” Felix asked me after my audition. “When I’m done we can go back to the hotel together.”

  He was standing very close to me, and I had the urge to hug him so that I could be hugged in return. I pushed my hands into my pockets instead.

  “Is there somewhere quiet I can wait for you?” I asked, looking around us. “I need to make a couple of phone calls.”

  “Yeah, sure,” he said, looking at me with concern. “I’ll take you to my trailer.”

  I waited while he let the necessary people know where he was going and that he would be back shortly, and then I let him take my hand to lead me to his trailer.

  “You did very well in the audition,” Felix said as we stepped out into the bright sunshine. “You got the part—I knew you would, but you don’t look too happy.”

  “I’m tired,” I said, forcing a smile.

  “It’s more than that,” he said quietly and then said hello to a group of people as we passed. He glanced down at me over the rim of his sunglasses. “Something is bothering you. You’re all deflated.”

  “I’m fine,” I lied. I didn’t feel fine at all. I felt crazy. I felt like laughing, crying, screaming, and fighting. It had hit me suddenly while I was reading my lines during the second part of the audition. My character, Destiny, was a hopeless young girl derived from hopeless circumstances. Her hopelessness felt very real.

  “Donya,” Felix said my name and then halted. I stopped and looked up at him. “You can’t bullshit me. Besides, I’m your friend if nothing else. What is wrong with you?”

  I sighed and considered. I couldn’t talk to him before talking to Emmet. It just didn’t seem right even if he was a very good friend.

  “I got some very bad news yesterday,” I said honestly. “But I can’t talk about it with you right now. I haven’t even told Emmet.”

  He knew Emmet and I had renewed our relationship. He even knew that our relationship was pretty much a secret and why it had to be that way. I probably told Felix almost as much as I told Emmy. Then again, I hadn’t told Emmy about me and her brother and hadn’t planned on it. I realized how screwed up it was, that Felix knew about Emmet and Emmy didn’t.

  A smile slowly appeared on Felix’s face. It was playful, yet sad at the same time. It broke my heart just a little.

  “I’m still jealous about that,” he said and tapped my chin with his finger.

  “With the millions of women pining for you, I’m sure you can find one almost as exceptional as me,” I gently poked at him.

  He chuckled and shook his head. “Maybe, but probably not.”

  We resumed walking. Felix didn’t ask me about my troubles, thankfully. He pointed stuff out, told me what other stars were in the vicinity and who I’d be working with. Before leaving me alone in his trailer, he gave me a hug that almost brought me to tears.

  As soon as the door closed, I sat down on the couch in the posh trailer and picked up the phone that left in there for his personal use. Emmet answered on the third ring. It sounded like he was out on the streets of New York. I had expected him to be back in Cambridge already.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hi. Where are you?” I asked curiously as I fidgeted with my charm bracelet.

  “Times Square. Some of my friends were already headed here for the weekend, so I decided to hang out. Are you okay?”

  “What friends
?” I asked, my brain automatically fixing on Stella. “And why are you asking me that? Have you talked to Emmy or your parents?”

  It took him a moment to answer. At first I thought it was because he didn’t want to tell me who he was with, but then if he didn’t wish to do that, he wouldn’t have answered.

  “I haven’t spoken to them. Why? What’s wrong?” he asked and sounded a bit alarmed.

  “Who are you with? I asked questions first,” I said and then couldn’t believe I had said it, just like a jealous girlfriend. I wanted to slap my own mouth for letting the words escape.

  I heard Emmet let out a small sound of exasperation. “A few people from school that you haven’t met yet.” He had answered the question, but not fully. I knew Emmet, and he knew I knew him, so I remained silent until he told me the whole truth. “And Stella and a few of her friends.”

  “Oh wow,” I said and forced a chuckle even though my head dropped into my hand. “I would think the Cambridge crowd would find themselves too good for the Brown crowd.”

  “They got over it,” he said tightly and quickly. “Donya, we’re just hanging out.”

  “You don’t have to explain it to me,” I said.

  Even if you didn’t want to tell me.

  “Anyway, that isn’t why I called, really,” I said before he could speak again.

  “Why did you call? What’s happening?” That hint of alarm had returned to his voice.

  I suddenly regretted calling him and wondered if I should even tell him about my mom. He was busy with his friends, and I didn’t want to take him away from them, but to be honest, I was feeling a little perturbed by Stella’s presence.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” Emmet asked in a softer tone.

  I took a breath and got on with it.

  “I told you I didn’t want you to come with me, but I was wrong. Is it too late for you to come out here?”

  I put my palm on my chest as I waited for him to answer. That link between us strummed, anxious to have its two ends brought together.

  “If you can’t come, I understand,” I said quickly. I already felt bad for asking him to walk away from his internship for me.

  “Baby,” Emmet said with a sigh that made my toes curl. “Of course I’ll come out there. I’ll follow you anywhere in the universe.”

  I sighed a deep sigh of relief. “Thank you,” I said shakily.

  “Now tell me what’s going on,” he gently urged.

  I stood up and began to pace Felix’s trailer. I put my hand on my stomach where the adrenaline seemed to be gathering. I felt like if I didn’t hold myself tight enough, the adrenaline would tear a hole in my stomach and leave me gutted on the pretty, blue carpet.

  “My mom is dying,” I managed to say though it felt like my throat was closing up. “I know she hasn’t been much of a mom over the years, but she’s still my mom and this is still very, very hard.”

  “Shit,” Emmet whispered sharply. “Is that what you didn’t want to talk about before you left?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Donya,” he said with both reproof and sadness. “You should have told me, baby.”

  “I know,” I said, nodding to no one. “I was scared and trying to handle it on my own.”

  “You never have to handle anything on your own again, do you hear me? I will always be there for you. Don’t push me out again. Do you understand?”

  “Yes,” I whispered.

  “Good. I’ll go back to my hotel and start packing and see when I can get out there.”

  “It’s a good thing you have that trust fund to lean on,” I teased.

  “One day, when we’re married with our two kids in bed with us, you’ll happily lean on it, too,” he said, and I could tell he was smiling.

  My heart warmed, and the adrenaline racing in my stomach eased.

  “What about your friends?” I asked.

  “They’ll be fine,” he said dismissively. “But I need to tell them I’m leaving. They’re half a block ahead of me.”

  “I hate to take you away from them,” I said meaningfully.

  “I hate anything that keeps me away from you,” he responded. “How long will we be out there?”

  “Well, that’s the kicker,” I said. “They liked me more than I expected. They’re rewriting the script a little to give me more screen time. I have to start filming tomorrow, but I don’t know how long it will all take in the end.”

  “I am so proud of you,” Emmet said. I smiled. It made me glad to know that he was proud of me. “I’m going to go. I have to email the law firm, but I’ll call you when I know when I’m leaving, okay?”

  “Are you sure it will be okay?” I asked, biting my lip.

  “You are all that matters right now,” he said, but then added, “But I’m sure it will be fine.”

  “Okay,” I smiled again. “I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Good. I love you.”

  “I love you, too, Donya.”

  When we hung up, wave after wave of relief washed over me, settling my nerves and making me feel lighter. I sat down on Felix’s ultra-comfy couch and grinned.

  Emmet was coming.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  I stared at the new script in my hands that I received early the following morning. The director, Trip Brigs—what a Hollywood name—yammered on and on with high energy. I tried hard to keep up with what he was saying and what he needed, but my eyes kept falling back to the script.

  I had to kiss Felix. I knew that going in, but before it was just a few seconds of kissing. The new script, however, was more than a kiss. It was a full on make out session, in a bed. He would be shirtless, and I would be in a tiny camisole and tiny shorts. The director and writers were sorely disappointed that I wasn’t yet eighteen and couldn’t be nude.

  We ran through the written lines a couple of times. We were all going to have to learn on the run. Soon we were sent to hair and makeup and wardrobe and my first day as a movie actress was underway.

  Besides being nervous about the obvious, I was excited to be there. The previous summer when Max approached me on the boardwalk and Emmy, and I had made fun of him, I never, ever would have foreseen how far that little conversation would have carried me. My modeling career had picked up faster than so many girls’ I had met along the way. I befriended a superstar and was about to act in a movie side by side with him and several other talented people. I was damn lucky. My success was already more than I could have ever hoped for when I first started and I couldn’t wait to see what else waited for me in my career.

  “Oh, look at you,” Felix said a little while later as we met on set. He had a hand on my hip as he looked me over.

  “I need a pair of these jeans,” I said, turning my head to look at my ass. “Did you see my ass in these jeans?” I asked Felix, pointing to my rear.

  “Sweetheart, I always see your ass, no matter what’s on it.”

  I rolled my eyes and gave him a shove. He chuckled and then reached out and grabbed my hand.

  “Let’s go, hot ass,” he said, with a wink. “Did you learn your lines?”

  “As much as I could,” I said nervously.

  “Don’t worry, you’ll be great,” he said and squeezed my hand.

  The rest of the morning was a learning experience, and not always a fun one. I didn’t know how movies were filmed, but I honestly didn’t think it was as hard as it was proving to be. It was similar to modeling in that you had to be well aware of the lighting, the camera, and your own body, but on a much bigger scale. I had to pay attention to every movement and be aware of every camera, light, microphone, and person while reciting lines. At one point, I got so frustrated I threw my script at Kent Decker, the hot older actor in front of me because he didn’t like how I was saying my lines.

  “Then you say them the way you want me to say them if you know so much,” I had snapped. It probably wasn’t a good idea to snap at the seasoned actor who prob
ably really did know so much.

  “You’re unprofessional,” he snarled.

  “You’re dressed in a Hawaiian shirt, ugly plaid shorts and flip flops,” I argued. “Don’t tell me about professional.”

  Felix came on set, even though the director was yelling at him and me and Kent. He picked up my script and put a hand on my shoulder to quiet me. He looked at Kent patiently.

  “How do you think she should say it, Kent?” he asked quietly.

  I understood in his quiet tone that he was showing the older actor some respect, and I realized I should have been doing the same. He was in his mid-thirties, but he had been acting since he was very young and he had more than a few good titles under his belt.

  I glanced over at the writers, producers and at Trip, who had come to stand with us. I was suddenly fearful of getting a bad Hollywood rap and never getting work, not just there, but even as a model in New York.

  “I apologize,” I said quickly before Kent could begin speaking. “When we went over these specific lines yesterday, everyone was fine with it.”

  “The script has changed,” Kent said, frustrated. He was a little high on his horse, all of the tabloids said so, but I kept quiet and listened anyway. “You have to adapt. If you can’t adapt, you shouldn’t be here.”

  I nodded in agreement. “You are right. The dynamic has changed and I must adapt. Let’s try again.”

  “You’re inexperienced,” he growled, crossing his arms.

  “At some point in your career, you were too,” Felix reminded him, rubbing my back.

  “Let’s do it again,” I said louder, hoping everyone would get back into their places.

  “Maybe this isn’t a good first role for you,” Kent said. “Just because you’re a pretty model doesn’t mean you can act.”

  I managed a smile and started speaking before Felix could snap at him.

  “I am determined to prove you and your hideous Hawaiian shirt wrong.”

  “I didn’t pick this disgusting shirt out,” he argued.

  “Doesn’t make it any less hideous,” I muttered. I shook out my hands and rolled my shoulders. “Let’s do this.”

  “You okay?” Felix asked me quietly as Trip and Kent moved away to talk quietly.