by L. D. Davis
Feeling his copious cock inside of me from that angle was mind numbing and blinding. His thrusts were brutal, punishing, and achingly divine.
Leo’s lips were so close to mine, that he inhaled my cries and moans. His next words came out in a hiss and a growl.
“You may run, cuore mio, but I will never give you up. I will turn the world upside down to find you. I will always find you.”
I screamed as my pussy clenched his cock and every nerve ending in my body was conflagrated, set ablaze. Leo’s shout was animalistic, his arms holding me covetously as he marked me in a way I had never been marked, shooting the molten heat of his semen inside of me as he had promised. I writhed and shook under him.
And I cried as I was reduced to ashes.
San Francisco was warm, welcoming, and a bit like home. In a way, it really was home. I was still co-owner of the house I bought with Xander. I didn’t try to sell it after he moved out, and he didn’t push me to sell, either. When I moved back to the east coast, Xander moved back into our house. I had my own room there for when I visited, but I knew that wouldn’t always be okay. Eventually, he would be in a serious relationship again, and I doubted that his significant other would be cool with him not only sharing ownership of the house with his ex-fiancée, but allowing me to have my own room with free access to the house and everything within.
I would be staying in our house for about a week before heading down the coast to Long Beach. After that, I would be flying to Chicago. According to the schedule Leo and I drew up, we were supposed to meet there, but that wasn’t going to happen. As Leo predicted, I used the conflicts in our schedules as my excuse, my reason for our lack of communication. That had worked for about four days before Leo called me on it.
“I can’t do this,” I had said to him just before leaving for California. He had returned to Florida the morning after our raw encounter in my bed. “If you know me so well, you know why I can’t do this.”
“I know you better than you know yourself,” he had spat out. “Of course, I know why you think you can’t do ‘this,’ but it’s an easy out, Tabitha. It’s easier for you to just give up and concede rather than fight for what you want.”
I knew I didn’t mean what I was about to say, but I felt like he was calling me a coward and it pissed me off. I wasn’t a coward for doing the right thing.
“Maybe there is nothing to fight for,” I had snapped. “Maybe I don’t want you, Leo. Did you think of that?”
He was silent for several agonizing seconds.
“I think that you’re full of shit,” Leo said evenly. “I think that you like lying to yourself, but your lies aren’t comforting, Tabitha. Your lies don’t let you sleep at night. I think you’re sadistic and like the pain, but I’m not, and I will do as I promised. I will always come for you.”
“When will you stop?” I meant to ask the question in my head, but I had whispered it, and he heard me.
“I will stop when I am convinced that there is someone else out there to complete you as I do. I will stop when I am convinced that there is someone else out there to complete me as you do, and I promise you, Tabitha, I promise you that there is no one else for either of us.”
That was how are last conversation concluded, ominously.
“Good morning, gorgeous,” Xander said, taking me from my thoughts of Leo. I blinked up at him. He was holding a tall glass of orange juice and biting into a cold slice of pizza. I hadn’t even noticed when he came into the kitchen.
“Hey,” I said, clearing my throat. “Good morning.”
“Where was your head just now?” He sat down to my left. His knee bumped mine and it seemed very intimate. He was dressed for work, but I was in a long T-shirt and a pair of boy shorts.
“In another dimension,” I answered with a nervous chuckle. Xander didn’t know about Leo and I wasn’t ready to divulge that information. It hadn’t been that long since I was in Xan’s bed, wrapped up in him and his sheets.
“Obviously. You want to talk about it?”
I shook my head and waved a dismissive hand. “Oh, no. Nothing too serious,” I lied. “I was just thinking about the busy schedule I have ahead.”
Xander smiled, which made me smile. I always liked Xander’s smile.
“I always had faith in you, but…wow…this is incredible, Tabitha. You’re a famous writer, touring the world, making your adoring fans happy.”
“I’m not famous.” I snorted. “And I’m not touring the world. I’m promoting the newest book stateside and then—”
“A signing in London, followed by a signing in Scotland, followed by a signing in Australia. I’d say that’s pretty damn close to being worldwide, babe. I’m really proud of you.”
I appreciated his words, and they made me smile, but hearing Xander tell me he was proud of me was nothing in comparison to hearing Leo tell me he was proud of me.
“Thank you,” I said softly. His golden eyes stayed on me. I felt the need to avert my own eyes, and turned my attention to my coffee mug.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he said after a couple of minutes of quietness.
I smiled ruefully. “I was just here a few weeks ago. You should be tired of seeing me by now.”
“It feels like it’s been longer than a few weeks,” he commented. “And I’m never tired of seeing you.”
Maybe it was just meant to be nice, a pleasantry between old friends, but it made my stomach do a small flip.
“Always so kind,” I teased, getting to my feet. “Never want to say anything harsh, even if it’s true.”
Xander followed me to the sink where I poured out the remaining coffee and proceeded to wash the mug and the plate I had my half of a bagel on. I still didn’t have much of an appetite.
“But it is true,” he said earnestly. “I’m never tired of seeing you.”
I glanced over at him and saw that his tie was untied, just hanging around his neck.
“Xan,” I said admonishingly, shaking my head. I wiped my hands on a dishtowel and went to work tying his tie. “I swear, you better learn how to tie your own ties. How do you get through five work days a week without being able to tie your tie?”
His smile was impish. “I learned how to tie my ties years ago.”
“Oh, really,” I quipped doubtfully.
“Really,” he said in a gentler tone. It may have been my imagination, but I swear he moved closer to me. “It’s just that…I like when you tie my ties for me.”
I knew I wasn’t imagining his hand on my hip or my sudden difficulty breathing. I finished with his tie and started to step back, but his other hand shot out and took a hold of my other hip and he held me firmly, close to his body.
“Tabitha,” he said my name so softly I almost didn’t hear it. I saw my name form on his lips once more. “Do you still love me?” he asked.
My head jerked back in surprise. I had stammered a few non-words before I burst out with “Xan! I…of course. Yes.” My hysterical laughter came along for the ride. “Hell, we own a house together still.”
What I didn’t say is “Hell, we had sex in your bed during my last visit.” It happened sometimes over the years when we were both single. Xander was familiar to me and I was familiar to him, and we had a history, a good history. Adding sex into our friendship was easy and convenient, especially since it was without attachment. We carried on as friends after every encounter, but last time, Xander seemed different, morose about my impending departure. I didn’t think it meant anything. We both knew that the sex was no strings, but judging by the tone of his voice and the way he was holding me at that moment, I had to wonder if I had misjudged.
“Tabitha,” he said my name with that same gentility again as he gazed down at me with his brow furrowed. “I…I don’t think I made a mistake. I think I did the right thing when we broke up, but I have to be honest here. I miss you. I miss you more lately than usual. I love you, and I want you. I want to try again.”
My mouth opened so w
ide I was sure there were ships in the harbor waiting to make passage through it.
“Xander,” I said his name breathlessly. “You…you admitted that you…that I didn’t…I didn’t feel passionately about you, as passionately as you felt about me.”
“I know.” He nodded solemnly. “But you did love me—you do love me, and I think you gave me everything you were able to give. It wasn’t all of you, and I may never have all of you, but I guess I didn’t appreciate what I did have of you. You gave me a hell of a lot, and I know I can be happy with that again. When you’re here, I’m happy and I hate when you leave.”
Up until my eventful trip to Miami, I probably would have fallen into his arms and…well, settled, and the truth was that I would probably settle eventually anyway. Anyone that wasn’t Leo Pesciano was settling, but they didn’t have to know that. Xander would know it. Xander would already be aware that I was settling and somehow that just seemed sad and wrong.
“That wouldn’t be fair to you,” I said in a rush. “To love me like that and I’ll never be able to reciprocate.”
“I don’t know what else to do.” He brought his lips too damn close to mine. He shifted and kissed my jaw instead. “I love you and I want you,” he said in my ear. “I can’t make it any plainer than that.”
I didn’t get a chance to respond. Xander put a hand carefully on the back of my head and kissed me. I was too stunned to kiss back at first, but my natural instincts kicked in and I kissed him back. It was sweet. It was nice. My heart fluttered lightly. Xander kissed me in a give-and-take sort of way. He gave a little; he took a little. Gave a little more, took a little more. It was…nice. It wasn’t like Leo’s kisses, which made me forget my own name. Leo’s kisses lit me with fever and deliciously bruised my lips. There was no give and take. He just took. Commanded. Dominated. Possessed. Ignited.
I pulled away from Xander and took several steps away from him, covering my mouth with my hand as if I could erase the last few moments. When I saw the hurt register on his face, my eyes filled with tears, even as I shook my head, denying him.
“I’m sorry,” I said, letting the tears fall. “You are wonderful, you truly are. You will make a perfect husband and later a perfect father. You’re…you are perfect in so many ways, and way too good for me, Xan.”
He looked sympathetic and troubled as he started toward me, but I held up my hand.
“No, Xander,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m in love with someone else, and I guess you and I are one in the same there at least. You can’t be with me. I can’t be with him. I can’t go into a relationship with you knowing how I feel about someone else. I do love you, and I love you too much to hurt you like that. In the long run, it would only hurt you.”
Xander watched me for a long time, biting his lip as his mind raced. Finally, he said, “You went to Miami to visit your friend and now you’re different. It’s him, isn’t it? Your friend Leo. It’s always been him, hasn’t it?”
I said nothing, but I nodded slowly.
“Wow,” Xander breathed out heavily. “Damn.”
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
He held up a hand as if to dismiss my apology. He looked at his watch and blew out another breath.
“I am going to pick my pride up off of the floor and get to work before I’m late,” he said with a small, forced smile.
I stood, rooted to the floor as he gathered his suit jacket off of the back of a chair and walked out of my sight into the living room. He returned a few moments later with his jacket on and his briefcase in his hand. He stood there, watching me again for a few seconds.
“I really am trying to be humble here,” he said. “It’s not your fault that I feel the way I do, or that I besieged you with my emotions and a kiss, but…I’m pissed. I’m pissed at myself. I’m pissed at you. I’m pissed at Leo. I feel like I could put my hand through a wall right now, that’s how angry I am.”
He ran a hand over his face and stared at the fridge beside me as he reeled in his anger.
“I know we had dinner plans tonight, but I don’t think I can do it,” Xander said. “Not tonight anyway. I’m not sure when or if I’ll be back tonight, so don’t expect me.”
He turned and walked away. Moments later, the front door slammed with a note of finality.
Chapter Twenty
I moved out of the house that was no longer my home immediately. I paid a lot of money to movers to come later that day and take away everything I personally owned and put it in storage. It wasn’t a lot. I left most of the furniture and all of the appliances. I left Xander a note, giving him my apologies again, but also to inform him that I was willing to sell him my share of the house for the minimum price allowed by law, whether it be thousands or a dollar. Between the two of us, we had paid it off a year earlier, so we didn’t have to deal with any mortgage crap. I got a room in San Francisco. I spent a little time with friends. I attended my event and hit up Napa, and then I bid Northern California goodbye and headed to Long Beach.
Xander sent me an email a few days before I was due to depart for Chicago. He flew down to San Diego to meet me. He was still obviously hurt and a little angry, but we were able to spend an afternoon together in comfortable companionship, but not before signing paperwork to sell him my share of the house. When I left California, I knew I was closing a door on that period of my life once and for all.
I called Leslie from the airport. I had been avoiding making that phone call for weeks, but I couldn’t keep running from it. Of course, I got her voicemail.
“Listen, Leslie,” I said, taking the direct approach. “We have to talk. We have a lot to discuss. I will be boarding a flight to Chicago in a little while, but I’ll have a few days before I have to actually be anywhere. You need to call me. Don’t blow me off.”
I ended the call and took a deep breath. I was hoping she’d call before I boarded for my flight to Chicago, but I wasn’t surprised when she didn’t. After some thought, I wasn’t sure if it was a conversation I wanted to have in the middle of an airport anyway.
When I got off of the plane and reached baggage claim, he was there, standing with his legs apart, arms crossed, looking sexy and serious. Disbelief made my footsteps falter. When my feet stopped moving altogether, he patiently closed the distance between us. He said nothing as he looked me in the eyes and took my carry-on bag and slung it over his shoulder. He grasped my elbow and guided me to the area he had been standing. He left me there and went to stand by the carousel. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and preoccupied himself with that while he waited, but I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that he wasn’t watching every move I made out of his peripheral.
I felt like a child in trouble with her parent and I had just been put in timeout. I knew what Leo said about finding me anywhere, but honestly, I didn’t really believe it. It sounded like fiction, like something I would write into one of my books. In real life, who had the time and money and resources to hop on a plane to stalk someone? Apparently, Leo Pesciano had the time, money, and resources to hop on a plane to stalk someone. How had he even known what flight I would be on in the first place? The only person who knew for sure was my assistant, Suzanna, and Su would impale herself on a sword before she’d tell anyone my personal information, including Leo.
By the time Leo retrieved my suitcase, I had an argument ready to go. I had so many things that I was going to say to him. I was going to make him understand, make him see things my way, the way things should be. I was prepared for a fight, but when his hard eyes met mine, I swallowed comically loud and bit my tongue.
Again, we were silent as Leo firmly took my hand and led me out of the building. It wasn’t a sweet gesture, it was a commanding gesture. His hand may as well have been a handcuff.
The car service I generally used was waiting for me as usual, the driver held up a sign with my last name written in black marker on it. Leo left me on the sidewalk to speak quietly with the driver, slipping him a few bills in the process.
I had no idea what he was telling him, but I had a feeling my plans of checking in to my hotel and meeting Suzanna for lunch were out.
Leo left the driver to handle my bags and ushered me into the back seat with his hand on my back. After he had slid in beside me, I looked over at him, my eyes wide, my heart hammering. He looked at me for a few seconds before turning his gaze to his window.
The silence was killing me. There was an invisible cloud of rage suffocating me and forcing me to remain as silent as the man beside me. I knew he was probably angry that I stopped taking his phone calls, that I stopped answering his text messages, I would be, too, but I didn’t expect such uneasy quietness. It was much more frightening than any verbal fight. I wanted him to say something.
After about forty-five minutes, it was so very clear we weren’t going to my hotel. We were driving through one of the Chicago suburbs. I leaned forward as far as my seatbelt allowed me to look at the GPS mounted on the front dash of the car. I had barely noticed it before because it was on silent. I didn’t see the address of where we were going, but I did see that the ETA was less than five minutes.
“Where are we going?” I asked the driver, but gave him no time to answer before I turned to Leo and asked him the same question.
He looked at me, his eyes still like cold steel. It sent cold shivers up my spine.
“We are going to Emmy’s son’s party,” he said, the first words he’d spoken since I saw him at the airport.
“What?” I shrieked. “How do you even know about that? And I don’t want to go.”
“I know about a lot of things,” Leo said darkly before looking back out of the window. “You’ll be amazed what I can learn when you accidentally leave your email account wide open on my computer.”