Ration

by Christina J Thompson

  She clenched her teeth, steeling herself. It was worth it if it would help save him, that’s all that mattered. He meant too much to her for her to give up now.

  They went inside, and Amber helped the ration take off the vest, returning it to its place beneath her mattress. She grinned up at him; they were lucky. If everything went according to her plan, he would be gone just before the next weight check.

  For once, she was grateful that there wasn’t much light left in the sky by the time they got back. Her eyes ached, and her mind felt clouded and sluggish. She stayed outside long enough to take the weight vest apart after her parents went to bed, but when the last of the bags of dirt had been emptied and scattered, she beckoned to the ration to follow her inside.

  “I’m tired,” she whispered, turning her light on. “It was a stressful day, let’s go to sleep a little early tonight.”

  The ration nodded, turning his back as Amber began to change. Something hadn’t seemed right about her the past few days, but he couldn’t quite place what.

  He stole a peek over his shoulder. She was facing away from him, and even in the meager light, he could see the outline of her ribs through the skin on her back. He sighed as he turned around again. She was getting thinner, but he didn’t understand why. He had been paying close attention to her ever since that first night after the last harvest, and he knew that she was eating her food allotment. It didn’t make any sense, and he found himself getting increasingly worried the more he thought about it.

  He changed quickly and lay down beside her, his eyes searching hers in the blue-tinged moonlight that streamed in through the skylight overhead. Her face seemed haggard, as if she hadn’t slept in days, and he struggled against the choice that bore down on his mind. He just couldn’t bring himself to cross that final line, though, despite his concern. He would just have to watch her a little more closely.

  Amber smiled at him in the dark, staring into his eyes.

  “We did it,” she said. “We bought a little more time.”

  The ration returned her smile, reaching up and gently brushing his fingers against her cheek. He put his arm around her and pulled her close as he listened to her breathing slow. She was happy, and surprisingly, that’s all that seemed to matter to him right now.

  †‡†

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  The ration opened his eyes, blinking as the room slowly brightened from black to pale gray in the morning light. Alex’s voice rang out as he began to quietly cry, just as he always did in the mornings, and the ration could hear Amber’s parents stir. It was early, a bit earlier than usual, and he yawned, glancing down at Amber’s sleeping face.

  She was shivering, curled up in his arms, and he leaned down, sighing to himself as he placed his cheek against hers. He instantly lifted his head in alarm. Her skin was on fire.

  Anxiety flooded through his heart as he touched her face, gently slapping her as he tried to rouse her. Her body was trembling, and he realized now that it wasn’t from the cold of the morning. He sat up, grabbing her and shaking her as he lifted her upright. There was no response, and when he placed his ear to her chest, her heartbeat sounded faint and erratic.

  He heard her mother and father’s footsteps as they got up. It was the same routine every morning, and he knew that they would leave for a trip to the huts in a few minutes. He slapped Amber again, a little harder this time, but her eyes remained closed.

  His mind raced as panic began to set in; he didn’t know what to do. Alerting her parents would mean sacrificing himself, but she needed help. They were getting ready to leave, and once they walked out, it would be nearly half an hour before they returned. He had to do something.

  Thinking quickly, he picked Amber’s limp body up off the bed and moved towards the door, propping her up against the wall beside the curtain that led out to the main room. She didn’t react, seeming completely lifeless save for the violent tremors that tore through her. He heard her mother call out, telling Richard to hurry, and the ration held his breath as he pushed Amber forward.

  Her body slowly fell through the curtain, landing in a heap on the floor.

  “Amber? What’s wrong?” her mother’s voice cried a moment later.

  It had worked. The ration darted back to the bed and sat down, forcing a blank look as he clenched his teeth and stared down at his hands. The curtain was snatched back and Mica appeared, and he glanced up as she grabbed hold of Amber’s shoulders.

  “Richard! Come quick, something’s wrong!”

  Amber’s father moved into view, his face instantly going pale.

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know, she must have crawled out of bed! Go get Helen, hurry!”

  Alex stood in the corner of the room, his morning cries of discomfort turning into screams of fear. Richard ignored him, sprinting out of the house as fast as he could.

  The ration dropped his gaze as Mica bounded across the room, reaching out to pull him to his feet. She frantically gestured at Amber’s body.

  “Pick her up!” she cried, bending down and pointing.

  He knew he was reacting to the instructions too quickly, but he didn’t care, lifting Amber and moving her back to the bed. Her eyes fluttered for a moment, and her lips moved as she tried to speak.

  “The…the ration…”

  “Just stay still,” Mica breathed. “You’re going to be fine!”

  Amber could barely hear her mother’s voice, and she tried to open her eyes, struggling against the weight of her eyelids. There was light streaming in through the window on the ceiling far, far above her, and she winced, squinting against the brightness. She was confused; it was daytime, but she felt a strange chill coursing through her bones.

  “It’s okay, Amber, dad’s getting Helen! He’ll be right back, just hold on!”

  The words sounded distorted and distant. Amber tried to sit up, her arms thrashing as she struggled against an invisible weight that pushed down on her chest. She managed to look around; her mother was staring down at her, a terrified look on her face.

  “Don’t move, sweetheart, just stay still! Please, just hold on!”

  “The ration…”

  Amber’s voice trailed off. She was tired, so unbearably tired. Her eyes darted back and forth, searching the room for him, but everything seemed washed out by the painfully bright light. Her head began to spin, sending a wave of nausea rolling through her body, and her stomach tensed, forcing bitter fluid up into her mouth. She rolled onto her side to vomit as the world went black.

  The ration stood in the corner of the room, trying his best to hold back the fear that burned in his chest as Amber threw up. Mica seemed oblivious to his presence, worry creasing her face as Alex clung to her leg. It was serious, he could tell by the look in her eyes, and it took everything in his power to keep his tears at bay.

  Richard burst into the room, a gray-haired woman with pale eyes following close behind him.

  “Helen!” Mica cried, getting up and moving out of the way. “Please, you have to help her!”

  “How long has she been like this?” Helen asked, kneeling down beside Amber and feeling her face.

  “I don’t know, she got out of bed just as we were leaving! I think she was trying to get help, but she didn’t make it past the doorway!”

  “Has she moved at all since?”

  “She tried sitting up a minute ago and she said a few words!”

  Mica clutched her hands to her chest as Helen took Amber’s wrist, and the old woman’s lips began to move as she silently counted the heartbeats.

  “What’s wrong with her?” Richard asked, his voice strained as he watched.

  Helen furrowed her brow, reaching into her pocket and withdrawing a small, plastic case.

  “I think it’s toxosis.”

  The ration’s heart skipped a beat. He knew what that was.

  “Is it too late?” Mica gasped, the blood draining from her f
ace.

  Helen opened the case, producing a syringe filled with black fluid. She jabbed Amber’s arm and injected the substance, sighing as she replaced the cap on the needle.

  “I hope not,” she said, and the ration could hear the severity in her voice. “It sets in fast, and most people don’t wake up once it gets to this point. You said she crawled out of bed?”

  Mica nodded, and Helen’s face relaxed slightly.

  “That’s a good sign. It means there should still be a little time, but it comes down to minutes in situations like this.”

  Helen stood up, putting the case back in her pocket as she glanced at Richard.

  “Has she been working more than usual?”

  He shook his head.

  “Not lately, at least.”

  “What do you mean, not lately?”

  “She and the ration were staying a couple hours late for a few weeks to haul dirt to the dumping ground, but that stopped about a month ago. It’s been a normal eight-hour day since then.”

  Helen pursed her lips.

  “Hmmm. Toxosis usually begins to take effect the moment the body begins burning through muscle stores, it’s not a delayed onset. I’m sure it’s not impossible, but I’ve never heard of it happening weeks later.”

  “Could it be caused by anything else?” Mica asked. “Maybe she made a mistake and accidentally took too many supplements, could that do it?”

  “The supplements stored in muscle are the cause, not the orally-administered dose,” Helen answered, shaking her head. “You could overdose on supplements all day and not feel anything more than an upset stomach, but once your body starts burning into the compounds stored in the muscle, toxosis begins almost immediately. It’s odd that it’s taken so long for it to set in. Unless, of course, it’s not toxosis, but I’m almost completely sure it is. Very few things present with these symptoms.”

  “What about the metabolic inhibitor?” Richard suggested, crossing his arms. “What if it’s not working right? That would cause her to burn through more than her daily calorie allotment.”

  “Yes, it would, but she would have other symptoms if the inhibitor wasn’t having a strong enough effect on her. Her hair would start falling out, for one, and from what I can see, it all looks normal. What does she do after coming back from the grid?”

  “She reads,” Mica said. “She sits outside in the shade and reads for hours.”

  “That definitely wouldn’t cause it,” Helen mused. “Perhaps it’s the change in weather. I’ve seen one case that was brought on by colder temperatures—Penny Hadley, remember her?”

  Mica and Richard nodded.

  “It’s been a while, about three years,” Helen continued. “It was a pretty big deal at the time, if you recall, and the resource center ordered an autopsy because she was so young. They thought her mother was taking food from her, but the report showed that her hydration and protein levels were normal. They concluded that it was a random spike in her metabolism triggered by the cold, since shivering causes the body to burn more calories.”

  “So what do we do?” Mica asked, glancing over at Amber. “How do we find out?”

  “I don’t believe there’s a test, since it’s a random event. If she recovers, I would suggest cutting her work hours a little short for the next week or so. Not by much, thirty minutes a day should do it.”

  The ration tensed, his heart racing as he listened.

  If.

  If she recovers, not when.

  “There’s nothing more we can do except wait,” Helen said, turning to leave. “Medical care is limited for us, you know that. I hope it’s toxosis, because if it isn’t, I don’t have the ability to treat the alternatives.”

  Richard clenched his teeth.

  “And what would those be?”

  “Sepsis, for one. Without obvious external injuries, it would have to be from something internal, which could require surgery. I can send word to the resource center and have them send a real doctor, but that will take at least two days and it’s going to add quite a bit to your quota. If it’s sepsis, she won’t make it that long, though.”

  “What do you think?” Richard asked. “You’ve been the medic here for a long time, you’ve seen this before. Do you think it’s something else?”

  Helen shook her head firmly.

  “From what you told me, and now, after seeing her, I think it’s a classic case of toxosis. That’s why I brought the aversion dose with me, I just hope it’s soon enough to help. Like I said, it comes down to minutes with this. It’s up to you, though, do you want me to send for the doctor?”

  Richard frowned, then sighed heavily.

  “I trust your judgment,” he said after a long moment. “Real doctor or not, you’ve been taking care of people long enough to know.”

  Helen gave him a reassuring smile.

  “Try to keep her cool,” she said, moving towards the door. “There’s nothing more to do but wait, it can take anywhere from a few minutes to a few days for the aversion dose to work. I’ll come back by later this afternoon to check on her.”

  “Thank you,” Mica breathed, stepping forward and giving the woman a hug.

  “Always here to help,” Helen called over her shoulder as she left. “I hope she pulls through.”

  Amber’s parents ducked out of the room, and the ration craned his neck, listening to their conversation.

  “We need to get our allotments,” Mica said quietly. “And I think Alex had an accident while we were waiting. Take the flasks and go fill them, I’ll portion out the ration’s supplements. Don’t forget to get its food.”

  Mica stepped back into the room for a moment, quickly grabbing the ration’s flask from its place on the shelf.

  “I need to tell Gloria and Natalie that I can’t watch the kids today, and I’m going to ask Dana if she can keep an eye on Alex.”

  “That’s going to cost us,” Richard said worriedly. “Dana charges a lot for childcare.”

  “I don’t know what else to do,” Mica answered. “We can’t afford to lose her, you can’t work the grid alone. What if I have to go for help? Alex is heavy, carrying him will slow me down.”

  “What help? Helen already said there’s nothing else she can do.”

  “I don’t know, but I want to be prepared just in case.”

  “Then I can stay home today instead of going to the grid―”

  “No, Richard, you know we can’t do that! We’re still so far behind, and that dose is going to add an extra ten pounds to the quota!”

  “I know, I know,” Richard sighed, and the ration could hear the weariness in his voice. “I’m going to go get the allotments, I’ll hurry.”

  The ration stared at Amber’s face, his chest aching. He was trapped in the corner as long as her parents were near, and until she woke up, he would have to once again pretend to be mindless. It was excruciating to hold back, especially knowing that he would be going to the grid once her father returned.

  He heard Mica leave; the two families whose children she watched lived close, and he knew she wouldn’t be gone long. He moved to Amber’s side when he was sure it was safe, bending down and cradling her face in his hands. She was still shaking and her skin was tinged blue; she looked so small, so helpless. She stirred slightly beneath his touch, and he swallowed hard.

  The ration’s breath caught in his throat as he leaned forward, pressing his lips to her burning forehead and closing his eyes.

  “Please be okay,” he whispered.

  †‡†

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-ONE

  The minutes felt like hours as the ration worked. It was unbearable to be at the grid rather than by Amber’s side, but he still would have been separated from her even at the house. Mica had been sitting beside the bed when he and Richard had left that morning, and the ration knew that he would have been forced to sit in the main room if he had remained behind. It would have been even
more difficult to force a blank look there, anyway, and he couldn’t risk them seeing the concern he felt.

  He tried to focus on work instead, losing himself in counting each step as he hauled the loads to the dumping ground. It did little to quiet his thoughts, though, and he couldn’t ignore the fearful worry that clouded his mind. He didn’t know what he would do if Amber died; her father seemed extremely attentive, and would likely notice very quickly that something was off. Even more concerning was the fact that Richard had watched him eat, which meant he couldn’t put anything aside. He was so close to being ready, but he wouldn’t be able to save the last of what he needed if she didn’t pull through.

  His heart ached as he thought about it, and he did his best to force it from his mind. He didn’t want to consider her death, it hurt too much. Never before in his short life had he ever cared for another person, much less had someone who cared for him, and losing her would be unbearable. A part of him would be torn away in the process, and somehow he knew that it would result in never again feeling complete even if he did manage to avoid the harvest. The success would be lined with a bitter edge without Amber.

  The sun crawled along its path across the sky, seeming to pause and rest when it reached its peak before slowly starting its descent. Each hour that passed without a messenger coming to tell Richard that the worst had happened was a tiny breath of relief, and the ration could feel a flicker of hope awaken in his heart. He had seen toxosis a few times during the experiments at the resource center’s labs, and he knew that the odds of pulling through increased the longer a person survived after receiving the aversion dose. He would relax if she made it through the night; that was the tipping point, and from there, it would just be a matter of waiting for her to wake up.

  It was getting late, and the nervous anxiety he felt seemed to grow stronger and stronger as he waited for Richard to call it a day. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he returned from the dumping ground to see Richard setting his shovel aside. The ration followed him out of the grid, keeping a short distance behind as they made their way back to the house.