Ration

by Christina J Thompson

  “This is your resource center, Center 82. While I was there, they were trying to figure out how to send an exploratory team into the areas that were abandoned when the plants and animals died. So far, they’ve only been able to go straight south since that’s the shortest distance to the shore just like what you figured out, but we can’t go that way. All the coasts are guarded.”

  Amber held up her hand, a questioning look on her face.

  “How do you know that?”

  “The messages that are sent back and forth, that’s how.”

  Ayn drew a circle directly south of the settlement on the edge of the map.

  “This is Coastal One,” he explained. “It acts like a central hub for all the others along the coasts.”

  He started adding small circles all along the perimeter of the shoreline he had drawn.

  “There are hundreds of small coastal settlements. That’s where the people guarding the algae live.”

  He connected each circle with lines until he reached Coastal One, then he drew a line straight up to the circle that represented Center 82.

  “They pass reports and supplies back and forth to each other from Coastal One, then those reports are forwarded on to the other resource centers. There are two small settlements along the way, but they’re just used as a rest stop for travelers. There’s water but no food. Center 82 is the closest to Coastal One, and it acts as a supply hub. People travel back and forth regularly, and all of the coastal settlement reports are forwarded on from Center 82 to Base One, which is the headquarters for all the resource centers and is located here.”

  Ayn placed a large ‘X’ in the very center of the map, then began drawing circles around it to the north and east.

  “These are the other settlements and resource centers in the middle of the continent―”

  “Yes, I know about those,” Amber interrupted, and he glanced up at her for a moment before continuing.

  “We obviously can’t go that way, because that would mean walking through all of them. This direction, on the other hand…” He pointed at the area to the west. “There’s nothing over here. That’s why it hasn’t been explored yet, there aren’t any places to get water. The scouts bring nutrition doses for food but they still have to haul water along, and no one has been able to carry enough to go more than about ten days to the west because they have to bring enough for the return trip, too. If there’s anything out there, it’s more than ten days away.”

  She raised a brow.

  “I don’t understand, it sounds like you’re suggesting that we go west even though there’s nothing there.”

  He nodded.

  “That’s the thing, no one knows for sure. There’s a mountain range to the west, and some speculative reports say that there may be plant life and water still out there.”

  “But how are there reports if no one has actually been there?”

  “It’s based on the pattern of death back when everything first began to die,” Ayn said. “The drought killed everything faster at lower altitudes, but there was a marked decrease in that rate relative to sea level. The higher above sea level, the slower things died.”

  Amber gave him an incredulous look.

  “You sound like you actually understand all of this.”

  He chuckled.

  “The walls were covered in the reports, I practically memorized them. That’s why they’ve been trying to find a way to send people west. The researchers at Center 82 were working on fixing a vehicle when I left to be assigned to you, but they’ve been having trouble with how to power it. The solar cell they currently have is too heavy and inefficient, so they’re in the process of trying to either adapt it or recreate an old cell from a few hundred years ago. They have the plans, but they don’t have the materials necessary to make it, and some of the components require advanced technology that was lost back when the world shifted focus to the food and water crisis. From what I saw, they still have quite a ways to go before they’ll have anything close to working.”

  Amber stared at him, her mouth agape.

  “How…how do you know all this?”

  He shrugged.

  “People treat rations like we’re objects. They don’t pay attention to what they say around us, and I heard pretty much everything when I was a test subject―”

  Ayn bit his words off, cringing as he looked away, but she had already caught his slip.

  “Test subject? What do you mean?”

  “It’s not important,” he told her, flashing a grin. “What is important is that there might be food and water in the mountains, we just have to make it there.”

  “But what if there isn’t?” she asked, glancing down at the map. “Then what?”

  “We die,” he answered simply, and his face grew serious. “Amber, you need to think carefully about this. I will definitely die if I stay here, but leaving might have the same result. I have to risk it, and I’ve already accepted the worst possible outcome. I’m okay with that because at least it gives me a chance.”

  He reached up, resting his hand on her cheek.

  “If you stay, you’ll be fine. You don’t have to risk this.”

  She swallowed hard, meeting his gaze.

  “I don’t want to be without you,” she said, setting her jaw. “Even if it kills me.”

  “You’re sure?”

  She nodded.

  “I’m sure.”

  Ayn pursed his lips, studying her. She seemed resolute in her decision, and he smiled, leaning forward to give her a quick kiss before turning his attention back to the map.

  “It’s a little over 600 miles from here to the mountains,” he said. “But I’m not sure what kind of terrain we’ll be facing along the way. The trip from Center 82 to Coastal One takes about two and a half weeks, and from what I heard, some areas are hard to navigate. We’re going in a different direction so it may be easier or more difficult, I don’t know. Either way, we should plan on some delays, so I was estimating at least three to four weeks.”

  Amber frowned.

  “I don’t have time to save enough food,” she said, her heart sinking. “I only have a few days’ worth, and even if I keep setting aside a third every day now that toxosis isn’t an issue, I’ll still only have enough for two weeks.”

  He put his hand on her shoulder.

  “It’s okay, I should have enough,” he told her. “We’ll definitely be gone before the next weight check, so I can set more than one cake per day aside. You won’t need much and I’m sure I can afford to share what I have. I might lose a little weight in the process, but it won’t matter if we leave in time.”

  Her eyes grew wide with fear.

  “You’ll get toxosis like I did! I’ll get in a lot of trouble if you end up needing an aversion dose, everyone will think I wasn’t doing my job and my father will take over as your keeper!”

  Ayn took her hand.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. The supplements don’t work on me.”

  “What do you mean?” Amber asked slowly, cocking her head.

  He shrugged.

  “Some of the compounds work, like the ones that promote muscle gain. But the others don’t, I’m tolerant of them.”

  “And no one ever found out?”

  He shook his head.

  “There’s only one way to tell, and the data was accidentally erased before anyone could see it. The supplements dissolve the way they should, and my blood tests at normal levels. They just don’t work, I can still think and speak no matter how much―”

  “Think and speak?” she echoed slowly. “Wait, that’s…”

  Ayn clenched his jaw; he hadn’t meant to say that much. He could see the wheels turning in her head, and he knew she was figuring it out.

  “The supplements, that’s why the rations are so empty?” Amber asked. “I thought…I thought they were just for gaining weight and relaxing them for harvest.”

  “T
he compounds have a numbing effect, which is supposed to keep the rations under control,” he answered quietly. “The double dose is so they stay still during harvest, not for anything else. They’re still aware, though, even a double dose won’t prevent them from knowing what’s happening. It just keeps them from reacting.”

  Amber remembered the fear she had seen in the ration’s eyes before her father had killed him, and she shuddered.

  “Then what about the ones we take? You said the metabolic inhibitor is a one-time dose, so what are the other ones for?”

  He hesitated, eyeing her for a long moment.

  “The same thing as ours, Amber.”

  “I don’t understand. What does that mean?”

  Ayn sighed.

  “You feel different, don’t you?” he asked. “After the aversion dose?”

  She nodded.

  “I feel like my mind is clearer and I have more energy.”

  “That’s because the supplements in your body are gone. They’re supposed to keep you from thinking right so that you don’t start questioning the rules.”

  Amber froze, feeling her heartbeat speed up.

  “Why?”

  “Because that’s what causes unrest,” Ayn told her. “The resource centers have to keep everyone under control. How can they do that if a bunch of angry people are trying to start fights with each other? If they can keep you from feeling emotion, they can prevent a lot of the problems that come with desperation. You read about it all the time in your books, wars and violence and murders. Those things don’t happen anymore because of the supplements, they keep people docile.”

  “But…but I felt things before the aversion dose,” she pointed out. “That’s why I started talking to you in the first place, because I was sad about my sister.”

  “And that’s why you’re taught that you aren’t supposed to show emotion,” he said. “That’s why there’s such a fear of being reported, if people are afraid to show emotion, they’ll keep it to themselves rather than acting out. That way the resource centers don’t have to deal with it.”

  “And the ones that don’t keep it to themselves, the ones that get reported? What happens to them?”

  Ayn glanced away. That was a question he wanted to avoid answering, and he quickly tried to shift her focus.

  “You’ve noticed how the dose keeps getting increased, haven’t you?”

  She nodded, and he pursed his lips.

  “It’s because people build up a tolerance to the supplements over time,” he continued. “The resource centers know about this, but they don’t have the means to constantly test everyone. Instead, they monitor the levels of that tolerance based on reports that are made. That’s why there’s a reward for reporting people.”

  “That doesn’t make sense. Why wouldn’t everyone just pretend, then? To get the reward?”

  “Because everyone knows that being reported is a bad thing, even if they don’t understand why. This keeps people from skewing the data by making false reports, while also scaring them into staying in line. It serves two purposes: the researchers get the information they need, and people manage to behave unless the supplements stop working to the point where they can’t control themselves.”

  “So why is being reported a bad thing?”

  Ayn frowned. Despite his efforts to deflect, she had arrived right back at that same question. He could see the turmoil on her face, and he sighed. He couldn’t imagine how unsettling it would be if he answered, and he knew it wouldn’t be wise to say anything else.

  He reached out, erasing the map he had drawn before moving to her side. The rest would have to wait until they left, when she didn’t have to hide her reactions anymore.

  “I’ll tell you everything I know,” he promised, pulling her into his arms. “But we need to get away first. Nothing else matters more than that.”

  “The answer is something bad, isn’t it?”

  He smiled disarmingly.

  “Remember, we’ll be spending nearly three weeks with nothing better to do than talk to each other, but only if we get this plan laid out. We have more important things to focus on right now, everything else can wait.”

  Amber sighed with frustration; she knew he was right.

  “I’m going to remember to ask you again, don’t think I won’t.”

  She felt his chest move beneath her face as he laughed, and she smiled to herself despite her annoyance. He kissed the top of her head.

  “I believe you. Don’t worry, it will be soon.”

  She drew a deep breath, closing her eyes as she relaxed in his arms.

  Soon.

  †‡†

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-FIVE

  Just as Ayn had said, Amber didn’t feel any ill effects as the week passed, and she continued setting aside a third of her food and water allotments each day. In fact, rather than being tired from the lack of calories, it almost seemed as if her brain was waking up more and more with each passing day. The only negative side effect so far was trying to hide the newfound energy she had.

  Ayn had suggested that they take the astronomy book with them to help navigate during their journey, and as they made their way into the settlement to borrow it again, Amber felt him grab her arm. She glanced at him, realization dawning on her at the look of warning in his eyes. She had been skipping her feet, and she sighed, forcing herself to slow to a trudge as they reached the settlement’s center.

  She peeked through the door of the council’s main meeting room, hoping it was empty. They usually only met once a week, but the days were never consistent. She glanced around; Maisy Hart, the council member who doubled as the settlement’s librarian, was sitting on the floor, reading. She seemed to be the only person in there.

  Amber beckoned to Ayn and stepped inside.

  “Hi, Council Hart.”

  The woman looked up, her smooth, young face breaking into a smile.

  “Hello, Amber. I wasn’t expecting you for a few more days.”

  “I need to trade for something else,” Amber replied.

  Council Hart’s smile faded, her brown eyes filling with disappointment.

  “I thought you were just here to visit me.”

  Amber’s face froze, and the woman burst into peals of laughter.

  “I’m just teasing you,” she said, setting her book aside and standing up. “I think you’ve set a personal record, you only had that one for a week!”

  Amber relaxed, chuckling nervously.

  “It was a fast read.”

  “Well, it’s good to see another face,” Council Hart beamed, brushing a wayward strand of her thick, red hair out of her eyes as she crossed the room. “If not for you, I’m afraid I wouldn’t have much of a job in the afternoons.”

  “What do you mean?” Amber asked, handing over her old book. She stepped towards the wall and knelt down. All the books that had come with this rotation were lined up in a neat row on the floor, and she moved her fingers along each spine, quickly reading the titles.

  “You’re the only one who comes here,” Council Hart answered, flipping through the old book to check for damaged pages.

  Ayn shot Amber a quick glance; he looked concerned, but she tried to ignore him.

  “You mean no one else borrows books?”

  Council Hart shook her head.

  “Every once in a while someone comes in, but it doesn’t happen very often.”

  “I can’t imagine that,” Amber mused. The books were usually organized by title, but she was having trouble finding the right one.

  “It’s true,” Council Hart sighed. She bent down, glancing through the row of titles until she found where the returned book should go.

  “I love them,” Amber said. “I can’t wait for the next rotation.”

  Council Hart pursed her lips, watching as Amber searched.

  “Trying to find something in particular?”

  Amber moved b
ack to the beginning of the row of books, forcing herself to go slower this time as she started over.

  “I was sort of thinking about the star one again,” she answered.

  “Really? Again?”

  Amber glanced up.

  “It’s interesting.”

  “I have it over here,” Council Hart said, gesturing at the book she had been reading. It looked like she was only a few pages in, and Amber’s heart sank as she tried to hide her disappointment.

  “That’s okay, I’ll look for something else.”

  Council Hart walked over to retrieve the book.

  “I’ve already read it, you can take it if you want.”

  Amber hesitated.

  “Are you sure?”

  “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Believe me, I’ve been through all of these already. There isn’t much else to do.”

  Amber smiled as she reached for it.

  “I’ll be here when you’re ready for a different one,” Council Hart said, winking as she bent down to select another book. “I hope you enjoy it. Again.”

  “Thank you, I will.”

  Amber turned to leave, quickly stepping towards the door.

  “Aren’t you forgetting something?” Council Hart called.

  Amber paused, looking over her shoulder. Ayn was standing off to the side, his head down as he maintained the role of a mindless ration, and she felt her cheeks turn red.

  “Too excited about the book,” she said sheepishly, grabbing his arm and pulling him along with her. Council Hart chuckled, waving goodbye.

  The moment they reached the grid, Ayn’s face darkened.

  “You’re the only one in the settlement who reads?”

  Amber shrugged, sitting down as she thumbed through the pages of the book and began studying the maps.

  “I guess so. I never thought about it, I figured everyone did. Except John, of course, I’ve never seen him so much as touch a book.”

  “And what about that woman, Council Hart?”

  “What about her?”

  “She seems interested in you.”

  Amber turned to another page.

  “No, she just talks to me when I go in. She’s not mean or anything the way the other council members are, I kind of like her.”