BLURRED LINE

by Justice, A. D.

  As if they did any of the actual wedding preparations themselves. They had servants to attend to every single detail for them. All they had to do was be home and dressed on time. They probably even had help with that.

  I may be a little angry with that sham of a family right now with everything that’s happening right under our noses.

  After Silas shared his heartbreaking story last night and I relived the painful memories from my own past, just the idea of the bastard getting away with his depravity is enough to drive me into a murderous rage. My thoughts and feelings are obviously bleeding over into my disposition this morning.

  “Really? Your secret weapon is the newspaper that everyone in a hundred-mile radius reads?” My tone remains deadpan, but I’m fighting a smile and a laugh with everything I have.

  I’m trying to hold on to my anger to stay focused on the case. Every day with Silas is muddying the waters, making it harder and harder for me to keep him in his own little box inside my mind. His easygoing personality combined with his muscular build and sexy lips leave me with the most inappropriate thoughts about my jailer.

  “Yes, this story tells me everything I need to know. He’s not concerned about returning to the scene of the crime, so to speak, so he has no clue he’s being watched. If we catch him in the spa while the illegal activity is occurring, we have probable cause to bring him in and question him, even if he is a sitting senator. So, how would you like to go to Miami with me?”

  I’m sure I’m hearing things.

  “What?”

  “Let’s go to Miami. My brother has a huge house there. We can crash at his place. Not sure if he’s there or at their place in California, but he won’t mind either way. If they’re in Florida now, you’ll love his wife, Brianna. She’s the best. We’ll be right there at the beach, enjoying the sun, sand, and surf in between taking down bad guys. You said yourself we need to have some fun.”

  “Silas, I only have a few more days left before your deputy director makes me leave the country. We don’t have time to lounge around on the beach and play in the ocean.” Has he lost his mind?

  “Hmm. You’re right, we don’t have much of that two-week decree left, do we?” He scratches his chin, pretending to be deep in thought but failing miserably. The ruse only endears him to me even more. “I have the perfect solution. We’ll go to Miami, let the clock run out on Graves’s two-week investigation bullshit, do our job, and shut this fucker down once and for all. Because, Kira, I can’t sleep one more night knowing I left a piece of shit like him on the street because I followed orders. I swore I’d never do that again, no matter what the cost, no matter what line I have to cross. This is more than worth it to me—it feels like a chance to make amends for what I failed to do before. Is that worth the consequences to you?”

  “Absolutely. Give me ten minutes to pack, and I’ll be ready to go. Are we driving? I’m guessing getting on a plane will be next to impossible for me. I’m sure my face has been distributed to all the airports within driving distance of here.” I don’t even need time to think about what’s right or wrong. We both need this win to help wipe our slates clean again.

  “Ordinarily, yes, flying would be a problem. But since my brother runs a very successful security firm, and sometimes has to escort clients on his company jet, I think we can squeeze you past security at the private airstrip just before we board his plane.” There’s a mischievous twinkle in his eye that is adorable.

  “I’m going to pack right now. I’ve never been on a private jet before. And despite having worked in Miami years ago, I never actually got to go to the beach and get in the ocean.” Before I can stop myself, I throw my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. “Thank you so much for breaking the rules to try to stop him. Even if this doesn’t work out the way we want, just the fact that we did everything in our power to stop it means the world to me.”

  “Since you were denied the complete joy of doing nothing but enjoying the scenery, that’s the first stop on our agenda. We have to rectify that wrong as soon as possible. This dreary cold weather here is depressing, and I miss the electric vibe in Miami. You can thank me by packing your bikini and joining me on the beach to soak up some rays.”

  “Consider this as payment in full, then. I’m packing two bikinis right now.”

  The change in Silas’s demeanor from last night until today is literally dark to daylight. But I’m not complaining or questioning his decision. I’m simply going with it. This case took a very personal turn for him, and I completely understand his need to right the wrongs of his past. Not that I think he did anything unethical—all soldiers are taught to follow orders to the letter. And that’s what we’ve both been, regardless of titles or jobs. We’re soldiers at our core. The one deep inside Silas is screaming for justice and absolution.

  I’m praying he finds it on this trip because, win or lose, he may no longer have a job when we get back. And I certainly will no longer be allowed to stay on American soil to help him with anything. This is most definitely a now-or-never trip.

  All those thoughts flow through my mind as I pack for our trip, stuffing a variety of clothing options into the suitcase since I have no idea what may be needed.

  Black clothes? Check.

  Dress clothes? Check.

  Bikinis? Check.

  Although, the only time I’ve ever even worn one was while working during a pool party, trying to get close to an FBI informant to find out what secrets he held. They’ve never even been wet, aside from the first wash. Maybe this time, I’ll actually make it to the beach and into the ocean for the first time.

  When my sister and I were taken away from our parents, the Academy said we were young enough to forget our blood families but old enough not to need coddling anymore. But they were so wrong. I never forgot my parents, not for one second, and the biannual calls home only made my homesickness worse. Even at that tender young age, I had learned to hide my true feelings and only react in the way they expected me to. So I pushed the enormous ball of emotions as far down inside me as I could.

  Mira wasn’t as agile with her reactions. She learned over time, but she still wore her feelings on her sleeve. From the time we were little kids until now, she’s been a hopeless romantic. I’ve never told her, but I’ve always admired her for holding on to that piece of humanity. That hope to keep the spark alive inside her that one day she’d have a normal life and a normal family to love. Her beliefs ran counter to our training in every way.

  We never were to fall in love.

  We never were to care about anyone else.

  We never were to put anything above completing the mission.

  Any deviation from the rules was considered treason and punishable by watching our parents being shot by a firing squad.

  For the first time in as far back as I can remember, I feel a sliver of hope for my future. I’m not naïve or delusional—I fully understand they intend to send me back to Moscow to face my failure. But I’m hopeful my contributions and information will help get my request for asylum approved. And that’s a very different feeling for me—to hope, to dare to dream, to want something more for myself.

  If I’m completely honest with myself, maybe I also want to explore the attraction between Silas and me to see where it leads us. The desire is mutual, and the temptation is strong. The chemistry between us is real and so tangible, the air crackles with electricity around us. There’s no way I’m the only one who thinks it…feels it…wants it.

  “Are you almost ready to go?” Silas startles me from my ruminating, making me jump out of shock. Something else I’m not used to—having someone sneak up on me.

  “Almost.” I stuff another pair of shoes into my suitcase and zip it up. “Now I am.”

  “What were you thinking about just now, before you realized I was standing here?” He’s leaning against the doorjamb, assessing me with those X-ray vision eyes of his.

  “If I tell you, it may not come true.”

  “If y
ou tell me, maybe I can help make it come true.”

  I have a strong feeling we’re not talking about the same thing right now. And just the thought of what he’s possibly offering me is enough to make me salivate uncontrollably.

  “Um, I was just, um, hoping we’d actually have a chance to enjoy the beach and the ocean. Work always seems to get in the way of the things I’d prefer to do.”

  “Kira, I personally guarantee at least one day of lounging on the sand and playing in the waves. But just so you know, I don’t buy that’s what you were thinking for one second.” He raises his eyebrows at me, waiting for me to argue or acknowledge his assumption.

  But I’m not ready to share my innermost thoughts or feelings with him quite yet. Despite spending twenty-four hours a day with him for the last week or so and getting to know him better than I ever anticipated, I’m more afraid of revealing my feelings and making a complete fool out of myself than facing an army on my own.

  “Shouldn’t we be leaving now?” I grab my suitcase and start walking toward the door. But he doesn’t move to let me pass.

  He raises his hand to my face, barely tracing my cheek with his fingertips. I can feel the warmth in his eyes, heating my skin. From no more than a touch, my breath hitches, making my lungs work for every bit of oxygen they draw. “You never have to hide anything from me, Kira. One day, I hope you’ll realize that.”

  He takes the suitcase from my hand and carries it out to his truck. With the house locked up and our plan to fly away to Miami set in stone, there’s no looking back now. I’m so excited, I can barely make myself sit still in this seat. Even knowing the wrath we’ll face when we finally return…or we’re apprehended as fugitives in Florida. Either way.

  When we board the private jet without a hitch, I’m literally giddy with excitement. Looking around the high-class cabin, I instantly feel out of my element. I’ve never experienced anything this luxurious before, and apart from the trip home, it’s unlikely I ever will again. That makes this trip all that much more special, so I plan to soak up every second of it. The plush leather chair calls my name, so I take a seat and buckle up.

  Silas sits beside me, wearing that same spicy cologne that makes me want to bury my nose in his neck and stay there for an inappropriate and uncomfortable amount of time.

  “Penny for your thoughts.”

  When I lift my eyes up to his, I realize I’ve been staring at his neck like a vampire dying of thirst. This is not awkward at all.

  “I was just wondering what kind of cologne you wear. You always smell so good.”

  “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve wondered that about you a lot.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Oh yeah. When I’m around you. When I’m alone. When you’re asleep. When you drink all the coffee and don’t leave any for me. I wonder about it a lot.”

  We’re not talking about cologne anymore. I’m certain of it.

  “Sounds like we have more in common than we realized. Except for the drinking all the coffee part. Somehow you make sure to leave some for me when you’re the first one up.”

  “I’m a nice guy like that. Ladies should always finish first.”

  “Good morning from the flight deck. We are preparing for takeoff. For your safety, please make sure your seat belts are fastened, and all luggage is stowed.”

  If the pilot hadn’t interrupted at that exact moment, I would probably already be in Silas’s lap right now, covering every inch of myself in his intoxicating scent.

  “Noah’s house is amazing. You’ll love it. There’s a pool in the backyard, the whole place is surrounded by a brick fence, state-of-the-art security system, and every amenity you could ever dream of. But when we get there, we’re changing clothes, grabbing food and drinks to go, and heading straight for the beach. The rest of the day, we’re not giving up our spot in the sand. We both need a relaxing day before we hit it hard tomorrow. Think you can handle that?”

  “That sounds like heaven. I’m positive I can handle that. And if anything happens that causes me to say I’ve changed my mind, you can just handcuff me to the beach chair until my attitude improves.”

  “With a few tweaks, some minor alterations, that plan has incredible merit. I’ll keep that request in mind for later.”

  What thoughts this man conjures with just a few words…

  “So, how did you get drawn into this cloak-and-dagger world? Just from what I know about you, I’d say you could’ve been anything you wanted to be. Are you an adrenaline junkie? Pathological liar? Functioning schizophrenic?” I’m genuinely interested in what makes him tick. He takes a moment to consider his answer. I can almost see the wheels turning in his head, trying to decide if he should tell me the truth or not.

  “You wouldn’t know it if you met him today, but my father wasn’t always the warm and fuzzy type. He was cold as ice and hard as stone when I was growing up. He expected me to return home immediately after college and follow in his footsteps in the corporate world of business. But I knew before I left for school that I wanted to travel the world and experience life to the fullest, not sit behind a desk inside a plush office all day.

  “So, I chose political science as my major and became fluent in several foreign languages. It was really one step at a time. I never set out to become a CIA officer, but the clandestine lifestyle, the worldwide travel, and the constant adrenaline rush of working an asset in the most perilous location in the world were impossible to pass up. I started right out of college and have been doing this ever since. I can’t imagine doing anything else now.”

  “How did your father take your career choice?”

  “Dear old dad did not disappoint. He did exactly as I thought he would, confirming my profiling skills were already on point before I even started CIA training. He immediately disowned me and told me never to come home again. I still talked to my mom, brother, and sister when I wasn’t deep undercover, but I didn’t go back home for many years after that. Turns out, my brother also let Dad down when he joined the Army immediately after high school graduation, leaving my sister home alone with his tyrannical demands. Then Noah and I were both disowned—by our father and our sister, for leaving her.”

  “Wow. You said he’s different now. How did it all get resolved?”

  “There’s nothing like an unexpected cancer diagnosis to put petty differences into perspective. He retired as CEO of a major insurance company, and they still live in the huge house I grew up in, completely remodeled now. The only difference is, now it’s always full of the laughter and pitter-patter of grandbaby feet. I think the grandkids stay with them more than they do their parents.”

  “What are your siblings’ names again?”

  “Noah and Chaise. Noah is married to Brianna. Chaise is married to Bull.”

  “Bull?”

  Silas laughs and nods. “Noah and his Delta Force brothers worked together after they left the service. They all still go by their old nicknames.”

  “Ah, that makes sense. So, what’s Noah’s nickname?”

  “Reaper. The other two guys are Rebel and Shadow.”

  “Sounds like you have quite an interesting extended family. I’m a little jealous. I’ve always wanted a large family. You know my family and my history, so you also know that dream was always out of the question.”

  “At one time, it wasn’t possible, that’s true. But soon you’ll have a chance to start over and make it happen. Don’t give up on it if that’s what you still want.”

  I know he means well, but my new start isn’t exactly what he thinks it’ll be. However, I don’t want to dampen the good mood and the fun waiting for us when we land. “Maybe you’re right.”

  The corners of his eyes crinkle, and he cocks one eyebrow upward. “Kira, let’s make a promise to each other right now. This promise can never be broken for any reason.”

  “What promise is that?”

  “We’ll be honest with each other, regardless of the cost or how painful the words a
re to say aloud. No matter what it’s about. Just the cold, hard truth. Can you do that?”

  “Sure, I can do that. Can you? What about the classified information you’re not supposed to share?”

  “If it’s something I can’t tell you, I’ll just say that. I won’t lie about it. Will that work?”

  “That works.”

  “Good. Now, let’s back up for a minute. There was zero conviction in your voice when you said I may be right. Why do you think you’ll never have what you want?”

  Regardless of how painful the truth is, right? Here goes nothing. “There’s no ‘maybe’ to it, Silas. I’ll never have a home, a husband, or any children. When my flight lands in Moscow, I’ll be grabbed off the plane and taken to an interrogation site. Once they’re satisfied that they’ve squeezed every last drop of information out of me, it’ll be as if I never even existed. They’ll destroy anything remotely related to me, including that picture my dad keeps on his desk. In fact, if you can get a message to him to hide it immediately, I’d appreciate it. Just that old picture would probably get Mom and Dad killed too.”

  He scrubs his hand over his face, leaving it covering his mouth as he considers my words. I stare out the window to avoid the temptation to try to read his mind through the intensity of his gaze.

  “I know I don’t have to ask this, but it’s too important not to say anything. Mira will have to watch over her shoulder for the rest of her life. She and I worked missions together for years. They know she defected against them, even if she hasn’t made it official yet. Even taking her act of treason against them off the table, they know it could be too detrimental to the Academy to leave her out on the lam once they have me in custody. Please help take care of her.”

  “Let’s take this one day at a time. We have a long way to go before we have to cross that bridge. Mira’s fine—she’s in very capable hands. Today, my only focus is taking care of you. Bikini, beer, beach. Sand, surf, sun. If it doesn’t involve one of those, it’s not a priority for today. Deal?”