“Mate, if I don’t see you fucking off in less than five seconds, there’s going to be one almighty ding-dong.”
Jeremy didn’t look away from me but stepped back and without a word, left.
I covered my mouth.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded with my eyes on the door.
“Why don’t we get you a taxi?”
Swallowing, I finished my drink and nodded again.
It wasn’t going to be that easy though was it?
✽✽✽
Monday, I was running late and missed the bus. Tottering in ridiculous heels — 5 inches — I managed to grab a cab with enough time to buy a caramel latte. My hair was a mess, and I was juggling the large cup and my giant tote bag, not paying attention, when I walked straight into the glass door of the building where I worked, smacked my head off the glass and dropped my coffee and bag. Like a nob.
I heard laughter behind me; all the posh wankers laughing at the ditsy blonde could fuck off.
“Are you all right?” Toby asked. He was one of my favourite people, and I was lucky enough to work with him.
When I started as a lowly office junior, he was lovely to me and never made me feel like a twat. I also liked him because he’s five-eight and I don’t get neck ache when I talk to him. He’s also cute and very taken. Saffi is everything I’m not, and I really like her. She didn’t like me too much, but I think she’s a little insecure. She shouldn’t be, she’s beautiful and successful. Still, we all have our issues.
I shook the coffee from my fingers and picked up my cup, chucking it in the bin.
Turning, I rubbed my forehead, which I knew would have a big red donk on it, and grimaced. His auburn red hair shone in the sun, and he grinned, his sunglasses reflecting me in them. “Come on, sun’s out, gingers in.” He held the door open, and I slunk in.
Toby always smelled nice, and I breathed him in as we walked to the lift.
We might only work on the third floor, but the stairs always killed me, especially in these heels.
“Good weekend?”
Toby took off his sunglasses and frowned. He’d caught the sun, and his freckles seemed brighter. They only highlighted his sharp cheekbones and green eyes.
I blinked off appreciating him. “What’s up?”
He worried his lower lip. “Something is going on.”
“How so?”
He opened his mouth, but the lift door pinged, and we crowded in with others. I looked at his back as I was pinned against the side. He always did this. Made sure I wasn’t crushed and had a little space around me. It happened once, and ever since, he waited for me, and we rode up together. He was a sweetheart and a good friend. I worked with great people, most of them at Hulstons were.
Except I’d made a tit out of myself a while ago over my dreamy boss at a Christmas party when I was two glasses of wine over my limit of no glasses of wine, but let’s never speak of it again. Nothing happened at all, but there were rumours. Technical Paul thought I was fair game, and a few other creeps seeped into my personal space like sentient bacteria. Toby, I suspect, had a lot to do with telling them to leave me be, not that I was sure, just a hunch.
We huddled in the kitchen as I washed my hands and made us a drink. “What is it?”
“I think... I think she’s having an affair.”
“Oh my god, that’s awful, I’m so sorry. Are you sure?”
“No. Feel like getting a drink later?”
Neither of us were drinkers, so it had to be bad.
“Of course.”
After work, we went to the local bar on the square, quiet as it was Monday, and settled at a table.
“So?”
“She’s been distant. Stressed. The wedding is coming up, so I thought...” He sipped his lime and soda, forgoing the idea of drinking.
I dipped my straw into the crushed ice of my juice. “But?”
“She didn’t come home Friday night, and she’s been different since. She’s off.”
“What will you do?”
He puffed out his cheeks and covered his mouth for a moment. “I not sure what’s worse, that I don’t feel anything or that it happened.”
“Shock can be weird.”
“I suppose. I need to know for sure, but I’m not ready to deal with it. Not just yet.”
“Whatever you feel is valid. Okay?”
He nodded and picked at the beer mat. “How did it go?”
I hadn’t told anyone about Jeremy. I’d been embarrassed at the time I didn’t know why, but Toby made me tell him because he could see how agitated I was last week. He was furious.
“Okay. He got a bit lairy and called me a cunt. But he got the message.”
“Anything happen since?”
“Nope.” That wasn’t entirely true. I’d blocked him everywhere, but a few anon accounts started following me on social media, and I’d had a few nasty messages. If it continued, I’d follow through with my threat. I was out of fucks. Toby didn’t need to hear it right then.
I was worried about my friend. I was right to be.
HEARTBREAK
That Wednesday, Toby went to lunch. He’d been quiet all morning, and he went at twelve-thirty and didn’t come back. It worried me.
I rang and rang his phone.
At five-thirty when I left the office, he called me back. He sounded drunk. I booked a car ride and went out to Downly, and fuck knows what he was doing all the way out there because he lived in Nattleton on the other side of town.
The pub was cute and old-fashioned. He slumped at the bar, hair dishevelled, staring into an empty whisky glass. He’d rolled his sleeves up and looked rumpled. The guy behind the bar raised his eyebrows at me and other than a few old men, the place was empty.
I leant on the bar. “Hey, you.” With a nudge to him, Toby turned.
I’ll never forget the look in his eyes. His mouth, always full and generous, turned down at the corners. He looked drawn and pale. “I got my answer.”
“Did you?”
“She’s fucking one of the management team she works with. Caught him balls deep on her desk. She staged the whole thing. She was relieved. Can you imagine being that unhappy you stage such a thing? That I wouldn’t accept it?” Confusion unfolded over his face, and he licked his lips.
“Come on, let’s get you home.”
“Can’t. Not until she moves out.”
I took him to mine. I had no idea what else to do with him.
Claire was at Adam’s, and I didn’t know about Anne. I got Toby upstairs, and he fell on my bed. I pulled his shoes off and set his phone on the side. I grabbed a bottle of water, some paracetamol and an orange and left them near him and went downstairs.
I made myself some dinner and put the telly on. A little while later, he appeared.
“Hey.”
“Hungry?”
“Starved.”
I’d saved him some pasta, and he devoured it.
“You eat like a pig.”
“Thank you.”
“Well, you are one of my best friends. How are you?”
He sighed and licked a blob of sauce from his lip. “Oddly relieved. The tension is over. We can cancel things. Move on. Imagine if we’d gotten married?”
“You don’t seem too heartbroken.”
He tilted his head. “I thought I would be, and I mean I’m not happy, but I’m not devastated. I love her but...”
“Something is missing?”
“I should get going.”
“You can stay if you need to.”
“Thanks. I should face her though. I just walked out of her office and found myself in Downly. We’re both on the mortgage. We only bought it last year.”
He seemed more at a loss about the house than anything.
“What do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.”
“Stay here tonight while you work something
out.”
Toby put down his empty bowl and shifted to face me. “You’re a great friend.”
“So are you.” I wrapped my hand over his and got up. When I’d cleaned up in the kitchen, he appeared and made us a cup of tea. We watched telly for a bit, and when I started yawning, I set up the settee for him to sleep on.
In the morning — with Toby decidedly dishevelled and tired — he left early. The day was already hot. He took a cab home.
I hoped he’d be okay and that things would work out for him, he really was a wonderful guy.
✽✽✽
“How are you?”
Toby didn’t hear me. Just stared off into space during lunch. I nudged him. Blinking, he came around. “I’m in a hotel because I’m sick of couch surfing while I pay a fucking mortgage.”
It’d been a few weeks, and I had a plan. Claire was moving out, and I mentioned to Anne that I might know someone. It was expensive where we lived, and we needed three people. I saw how sceptical she was, but we needed the money, and I knew he was a great person. Better than a random person we didn’t know.
“Claire’s moving in with her boyfriend. The rent’s quite reasonable with a full house.”
Toby and Saffi couldn’t buy each other out, so their little townhouse had gone on the market. Shouldn’t take long to sell.
“Even if it’s just until you get on your feet, you’re doing us a favour.”
Toby shuddered a sigh. “That sounds perfect, thank you.”
I hated the sadness in his eyes. He might say he wasn’t devastated, but I saw it. Claire moved out at the weekend, and he moved in on Sunday night. He didn’t have much, and his personal things had already gone into storage.
I helped him settle in, and we had a nice dinner. It was weird with Claire gone and a man in our space, but I kind of liked it.
In fact, I had a good feeling about the whole arrangement.
BFF
Toby and I spent a lot of time together. All of it, in fact.
He drove us to work and took me home again. We still did separate things, like he went to the gym and I went to a book club.
Toby was easy to be around, and I figured he needed a distraction.
We started going to a quiz night at the local pub. Our team consisted of Sheila and Marg who were funny and older, along with Derek, who fancied Sheila, and Graham, who only spoke to answer a question. Odd bunch but we liked it.
The chatter between rounds got loud while everyone went to the bar.
“Ooh no,” Sheila said around a salt and vinegar crisp, “I can’t sleep in pyjamas, especially not in this heat, I don’t like things around my legs.”
“That’s precisely why I have to sleep in pyjamas.” Marg sniffed.
Everyone laughed.
I finished my drink, still laughing and got up to go to the loo as Toby went to the bar.
The toilets were through a long corridor between the bar and the lounge, and there was an open door outside the pub garden. Passing the doors, someone grabbed my arm and yanked me outside. A few people were dotted about smoking, but no-one said anything as I was hauled along.
I didn’t speak either because I was so shocked, even more so when I saw it was Jeremy.
He flung me against a wall when we were around the corner and away from the milling people.
He crowded in, using his size to intimidate me, and I didn’t know what to do; I went still, heart pounding.
Swallowing thickly, I tried to gather my wits, but he spoke first.
“Give me your phone.”
“What? No.”
“Listen you little cunt; I want that photo off your phone.”
“Aww, poor boy, did sending me a dick pic and harassing me backfire?”
“My mother! You messaged my mother and my girlfriend.” It was true. A dick pic he sent me from an anon account was of his cock, I could tell by the fake tan, manscaping and abs. I sent screenshots to his mum and girlfriend after friending them. Might not have been a wise move.
“Then you shouldn’t be a cheating, nasty piece of shit, should you?”
He smacked the wall next to my head, and I jumped, dodging him.
“What are you going to do? Punch me? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“If you’d have slept with me-”
“Seriously, you’re a repulsive human, do you hear yourself? This isn’t helping your cause. What am I expected to say oh go on then? Fuck off.”
“Yeah well, you’re a weird tiny sex doll. It’d be creepy to fuck you.”
I swallowed hard.
“Give me your phone,” he shouted.
“No.”
“I think you should back away from her.”
Jeremy leant into me before looking at Toby. “What do you want?”
“You to crawl back under your rock.”
People were watching, and as much as I respected Toby, he was half the guy’s size.
Toby had his hands in his pockets, the sun bright on his face, and a mean little smile.
“Toby, it’s fine.”
“Is it? It looks like this twat has you cornered, and the next round of the quiz has started. It’s geography, our best subject.”
“Fuck off.” Jeremy caged me.
“Or what?” Toby moved closer.
Jeremy stepped back and faced him, and I heaved a breath. I started shaking and clutched my phone so hard I thought I might crack the screen but wanted to stop Toby getting hurt.
“Is this him?”
I didn’t answer, but he knew. Toby was the only one I’d told. Anne and Claire would have got involved. I wondered if it was my fault. If I’d brought this on.
I’d been ashamed. Ashamed I’d fallen for him. A preened gym body. Slick. Fake. He was a lie in a handsome form. I wasn’t the first or would be the last to fall for it.
He got in Toby’s space and loomed over him. Toby grinned.
When Jeremy swung, Toby leant back and dodged. The smile never left his face. He ducked and side-stepped the massive arm and fist that kept swinging.
Toby started laughing, and it only riled the guy up. I wanted to leave.
Toby put his hands up, stifling his laughter.
“Wait, wait.” He got himself under control and rolled his shoulder. “Carry on.” He burst out laughing again.
“You fucking-” He swung again.
Toby dodged, all laughter gone and punched him in the side. Jeremy went down winded.
Toby crouched next to him. “Go near her again, and I’ll kill you.”
I made myself move forward, and as Jeremy clawed for breath, I kicked him in the balls. He fell forward.
Toby took my elbow and gently led me away.
Tears streamed as he guided me back in and Sheila and Marg looked at us.
“Where were you two?”
“Ooh.” Sheila sipped her wine.
Toby rolled his eyes. “We’re leaving, and some dick scared the crap out of our Poppy.”
He took me out and drove home.
“Are you all right?”
We’d not said a word the whole drive back, and as we went in, I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t all right. My hands wouldn’t stop shaking. Toby wrapped his fingers around mine, and pulled me in close, wary, as though I were an injured bird.
He led me upstairs, and I stood in my doorway.
“Poppy?”
I fell into his hold. “Thank you.”
“I’ve got you. Don’t worry. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
I cried.
“Come on.”
I pulled away and shut the door. I didn’t want to leave him or be alone. I ran through the whole thing in my head.
I changed into an oversized t-shirt and stood in the middle of my room. My skin crawled. I felt the blood circulate in my limbs as everything tilted. Creepy. That was me. Small and weird. When my door being knocked interrupted my thoughts, I
opened it.
Toby had a cup of tea, and I took it.
“Weird sex doll. He called me that.”
“Oh Poppy, you’re nothing like it.”
He took my hand and led me to his room.
I sat on his bed and sipped my tea.
He changed in the bathroom. “You,” he pointed at me when he came back in just light pyjama shorts, “are clever, funny, beautiful, kind, and sweet. You’re a complete shark, hustler and devious witch. You’re also one of my favourite people in the world.”
I managed a smile. “Toby, can I stay? I mean, I don’t want to be alone.”
“Of course.”
We finished our tea, and I got into bed. I curled up but finally stopped shaking. Toby’s aftershave comforted me; it was such a nice smell. I closed my eyes and went to sleep, exhausted and fractious, and fell into strange dreams.
WALLOP
It was too early. The sun streamed despite the curtains, and I knew it was going to be hot. I fought waking until last night came back to me. With morning grump, I tossed onto my side and blinked at Toby. We’d slept in the same bed before. We’d been gaming, I fell asleep, and he let me stay. It wasn’t weird, which was weird. It was just Toby. But that morning was different.
Probably because of what happened. Maybe because I saw a different side to him, but I properly looked at him. Tangled with the end of the duvet, sun wrapped along his side. His firm body and freckled skin bared to me. He was hot.
I nestled into the pillow.
His face was peaceful, kissable lips parted, and soft sleeping breaths puffed out. My mouth watered and went dry at the same time, and I was not okay.
Maybe it was a weird reaction to what happened. Yes. That had to be it.
I slipped out of bed.
“Put the kettle on.”
I froze. He mumbled and turned over, revealing his abs and what lay beneath. Closing my eyes, I turned away.
It’s not like I’d not seen him like this before. Why was I seeing how hot he was just then? I clicked the door closed behind me, acid roiling as I did.
Toby was my best friend. In the world. Who had recently broken up with his fiancé. No. I did not fancy him. Absolutely not.
In the kitchen, Vaughan — the big, scary, sexy fucker that Anne was doing — had her up the wall. She wasn’t wearing much more than me, and he was only in undies.
The Best Friends Anthology (A New City Story Book 5) Page 10