I made sure to keep my eyes on his.
“I made a terrible mistake. I threw away something so precious that I broke my own heart as well as yours. I didn’t see it. I wasn’t ready to. Then one day, I did.”
He took my hand, and I looked up so I wouldn’t glance at his peen. “Do you want to get dressed because you’re nakey?”
“I want to be back in your life if you’ll let me. I don’t want friendship alone. I want you.”
“What?”
Toby winced at the volume but stood his ground. “A chance to put this right.”
I kept breathing, it was a feat, but go me. He led me to the bed, and I sat on it. He was standing, and when he turned, I got an eyeful of bum. He was so pale, and freckles covered it, and I wanted to play join the dots with my tongue. Clenching my fists, I squeezed my eyes shut. I hated the need for him.
With his boxers on, but nothing else, I realised I was in my bra and knickers, he sat next to me, and the room closed in.
He leant close, picking up his tea, and drank it down.
I took mine, finding it was just about drinkable. He was watching me.
“I’d like to take you out.”
I choked on the gobful of tea and had to spit it out into my mug. Toby took it from me, and put it down, patting my back as I heaved in a breath.
“I just meant dinner.”
“Why?” I croaked.
“I miss my best friend and the woman I want.”
“This is too sudden. I don’t understand. You hate me.”
He cupped my face, which I’ve no doubt was swollen and red. “I never hated you. This was never about you. It was all my fault. I was a twat.”
“You were, but I’m not sure how I can come back from this. It changed me.”
He began to shake his head, and I cupped his face. “I don’t like who I am now, and I need to deal with it. I do feel the same about you, that won’t change.”
“Then I hope. I’m asking you to let me make amends to you, but if you don’t want that, I will accept it.” He held my hand to his face. I liked his bristles.
“You don’t deserve my forgiveness.”
Tears filled his eyes, and he wet his lips. “No. I don’t. I’ll still love you though.”
My heart stopped beating for a second.
I missed his green eyes and smile. I missed his smell and warmth. The sound of his laughter. Our banter. How he made me feel. I could hold back and go cautiously down that path. Or not at all. But I loved him too much for that to be an option. “Fuck it.” I leant in and kissed him.
Taking the opportunity, he pinned me against him and rolled us over onto the bed as he kissed the fuck out of me.
Funny how things turn on their head in a second.
SAME NEW
Toby’s tongue was in my mouth, his body over mine with my legs wrapped around his hips. He undulated and moaned when I cupped his arse, and it was as lovely to feel as it was to look at, firm, yet with enough squeezable flesh. Then his cock, hard in his well-fitted boxers, pressed between us.
I broke the kiss. Breathless, we looked into each other’s eyes, heat pooling.
“This is too fast.”
I wanted him, and the visceral want pulsed in my veins. My body was senselessly aroused, but it was too soon.
I think he knew it too. His mouth hovered close to mine, and he looked pained.
“I need to...” Toby lifted off me and went to get out of bed.
My body didn’t listen to reason or sense, and I reached between us. Making him come was a deeply held fantasy, one I’d lived in my mind too many times.
“Fuck.” His eyes flickered as I grasped his cock. Hot and probably not an elephant trunk to most, but big for me.
I was enraptured.
He fell at the side of me, kissing me again as I slipped my fingers into his underwear. He cried out as he stilled my hand.
“We’ll take this slow.” The struggle that played over his face was fascinating.
His jaw clenched, and eyes narrowed as he pressed his head back into the pillow.
“How close are you?”
Toby growled out an exhale and heaved in a breath. “If I look at you, I’ll probably come.”
I grinned. “Do you want to?”
“Yes.” He stared at the ceiling.
“I think you should do anything I tell you to.”
He grinned before clearing his throat.
“Well, you said you wanted to make it up to me.”
“You plan to torture me?”
“Mercilessly.”
“That’s not helping.”
I straddled him.
“Oh my fuck, no.” He arched up a little, and I ground against him, pressing on his chest.
He shook his head and grabbed my waist.
“Tell me to get off you.” I tilted my head.
“I will, in a second.”
I circled my hips, my knickers soaked, and his cock right on my clit.
Panting, he watched me, squeezing me, desperate as I took my time. “Poppy. Fuck, I’ve thought about this so much.”
He went to sit up, but I held him down. His cheeks flushed.
I felt it, the hovering pleasure threading through my nerves, and I couldn’t hold it in. I pressed my nails into his chest.
“You’re so beautiful, fuck.” The fuck descended into a cry, and he went rigid under me, jerking his hips as he came, and face pinched. The wetness under me and feel of his throbbing cock as he twitched pushed me higher and I followed, knees drawn in sharp pleasure.
“Yes, come, come on me.”
I fell forward over him, and he kept moving my hips, his knees drawn up, and reached forward to kiss me.
“That was so hot.” He wet his lips.
“Stay with me.” With my face buried into his chest, he held me tight against him.
“Yes.”
We cleaned up and looked for something for him to put on so we didn’t end up fucking. He tried to pull on my baggiest shorts. He got them to his thighs, and his lovely bum mooned me as he fought with them.
“Where do you find clothes this small?” He wrestled out of them, and gave up, coming to bed naked.
He really was gorgeous. The red of his hair going down under his navel was darker and drew my eye.
“Places,” I murmured, eyes fixed on his cock.
We snuggled down. I was exhausted, emotionally as well as physically.
I had so many questions, but they could wait. I wanted to enjoy my friend.
He played with my hair, and his breathing lulled me, I’d not felt this peace for so long, and I let go. No man had ever made me come. Rubbing on Toby through our underwear had done it in a few minutes. That was the last thought I had.
Toby came in the bedroom in my robe that barely covered his arse and set two mugs down in the morning. “Hey.” He offered me a little smile, and I blinked.
I’d woken alone and remembered, but I didn’t think it was true. “You’re here.” My stomach dipped in excitement.
He grinned, it was sweet and beautiful, and I nearly started crying again.
Pulling me over, he lay me on top of him. “I missed this.”
“I’m pretty sure we never did this.”
He squeezed my bum. “Sleeping near each other.”
“Yes.”
“Hmm.” He’d closed his eyes, legs apart, with me between them, massaging my arse.
“Let’s go out.” I ran my fingers in circles across his freckles.
“Good.”
“We have a lot to talk through.”
“We do.” His hands kept working me. I’d changed into a sleep tee last night, and it was around my waist.
He flipped us over and kissed me, I scratched my nails down his back, and he broke the kiss.
“I need to go.” He kept rubbing against me, and his hard cock would slip easily inside.
&n
bsp; But we needed this conversation before anything more than last night happened.
I pushed up against him, and he flopped back, cock standing upright.
“I don’t think I’ve seen a harder peen. It’s a nice cock.” I shrugged my mouth down in a nod.
Toby started laughing. “Weirdo.”
“You know it.”
The familiar banter was the lightness in my life I’d missed.
I think he felt it too and ran his thumb over my cheek. “Tea.”
“Tea.” We sat up and drank.
I felt different; like me again, not wholly, and not only because he was back in my life, but because I’d purged it; I’d let that pain out finally.
“Poppy?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you all right? Really?” He ran his finger over one of mine.
“Yes. I think I will be.”
“Dinner? About seven?”
“Yes.”
“Perfect.” His finished his drink and dressed, shoving his underwear in his coat pocket. He leant over to me and kissed me hard, resting his forehead against mine for a moment. “I love you.”
I wanted to say it, but he cut me off with a kiss and left.
TALKING
Anne came home and sheepishly sat down with a wince while I pretended to focus on my book.
“Well?”
“I’m going out with him tonight.” I pursed my lips, but a smile twitched.
“Oh my god.” She squealed, and so did I.
“Are you okay?”
She winced as she stood up. “Yep.” Anne went upstairs with a smug grin.
It was only twelve. That gave me seven hours to get ready. I needed to get a move on.
Hair curled and styled, my best falsies, highest heels and a very short blue dress I knew he hadn’t seen was the hottest I’d looked in a while.
It was four o’clock. I took my heels and dress off.
Toby rang the bell at half-six, and I was so relieved. He looked at me and went to snog me in the doorway.
I squirmed away. “My makeup.”
“Fuck your makeup. I want you.” He bit his lip, that gorgeous smile twinkling.
I laughed and dodged him as he tried to kiss me. “It’s expensive.”
“Fine.” He widened his eyes. “I could kiss you in other places.”
“Such as?” My mouth went dry.
He kicked shut the front door and went to his knees.
“Oh my god.” I started laughing. “Come on, you lollop.”
He scowled, pouted and stood up. “Fine. You just wait.”
Taking my hand, he pulled me along, and I loved this side of him. I’d forgotten how infectious his joy was.
The new South Asian restaurant was fairly busy as new places always were. Toby cleared his throat as I devoured a poppadum.
“Go on.”
He swirled his drink. “I spent all day trying to figure out what to say, but everything will sound like an excuse. I don’t deserve any kindness or forgiveness, as much as I want you back in my life.” His mouth turned down.
“Toby.” I reached out, but he pulled his hand away.
“No, let me do this. When we met, I thought you were too bouncy and bright, and I was worried how you’d cope and be treated. I felt protective of you.” He looked at me. “Our friendship over the past few years made me happy when I wouldn’t have been. I think that’s why I didn’t see a lot of things around me that weren’t right. A lot of things were wrong in my relationship with Saffi, but I just wanted a unit.”
The waiter came with our share platter, and we ate. I hummed in pleasure at it.
He stared and scowled at his plate. “Anyway, moving in wasn’t a good idea only because it distracted me from what I needed to deal with.”
“Such as?”
“Why I’m oblivious to things, how I’ve coasted for the last five years. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I wasn’t happy. I didn’t know what I wanted, and I think I was more hurt than I realised. I cared so deeply about you, changing that seemed the end of something. I didn’t know how to deal with it.”
“You could have talked to me, and I would have been okay. I thought you hated me.”
“I was angry with you and myself. That didn’t mean it was justified. You’re a joy to me, and I was comfortable with us as we were, or I thought I was. I needed time, but I did it badly. I own it and apologise unreservedly. I didn’t expect you to forgive me, but I did want you to know the truth.”
“Is that what happened with Suzy?”
“She agreed to help me after I spoke to Nathan. We’re friends. I came to realise just after I started my new job what you meant, and what I’d done to you. The way you reacted broke my heart, and rightly so. I deserved it.” He pulled his lips into his mouth.
I took his hand. I’d forgiven him the previous night when I saw the state of him. Toby was mine.
“I knew I loved you. I always had.” Blinking hard, he swallowed. “When we dicked about, when we played games and pool. When we made dinner. Slept in the same bed. When we read, and you’d put your feet on my lap.” He smiled softly, eyes sparkling. “We were the unit.” Toby expelled a breath.
Blinking back my tears, I nudged his plate. “Eat.”
With a nod, he did. Quiet, I thought about what he’d said. “Wait, you already loved me?”
He tried not to laugh. “Yes. I was happy with you, so much so, I thought everything else was okay. Your absence showed me how cold my life was... I couldn’t stop thinking about you, but every time I tried to contact you, I felt so awful and didn’t deserve you, I couldn’t.”
“That’s fucked up.”
“If you’ll let me, I’d like to spend all the time I can making it up to you.” He folded his napkin without looking at me.
“I’ll take it into consideration.”
He lifted his eyes, and I grinned. Toby laughed, and I didn’t care what had happened anymore. Curbing my delight in him, I knew it shouldn’t be that easy.
“I can’t explain how much you hurt me. It changed me.”
“I know. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done, and I don’t like that about myself, I hate it. I’ll do anything to put it right.”
I scowled with a nod. “Will you go down on me for an hour a day?” I leant in and asked.
My words registered, and the corner of his mouth twitched. “Yes.”
“Hmm.” I sat back. “Very well.”
“I’ll get the bill.”
“Not yet, I want a pistachio ice cream. What’s your job like?”
“Okay. I manage a legal advice team. It’s challenging, but it’s a decent job.”
Toby sipped a coffee while I ate my dessert.
“Where do you live?”
“City centre. Small but reasonable.”
“Will you show me?”
“Well...”
Toby paid, and I patted my food baby and popped a mint in my mouth.
“What are you hiding?”
“Nothing. I assumed we’d go to yours. My place is a state.” With a wry look, he helped me with my coat.
I held his hand as we left, the sensation tingled up my arm with my fingers in his grip, and I thought about last night. We drove to his.
The new building, all tall glass and sharp angles, was posh. Neither of us spoke as we went up. Toby glanced at me as he opened the door, and as soon as we were through the doorway, we pulled at each other’s coats and kicked off our shoes.
“Shit, we should talk about this,” he spoke into my mouth.
“Yes. On the pill.”
“Good. I had tests after, you know, and all clear, and I’ve not had sex since.”
That was reassuring. “I’ve not had sex in six years.”
“Wait, what?”
“I was twenty-two. A short, shitty relationship.”
“You’ve never mentioned guys, and I never tho
ught anything of it until that dickhead. I wanted to kill him. Actually murder him.”
“I saw that.”
Heaving a deep breath, he stepped back. “I should have known then. I was viscerally protective of you, and not just in a well she’s small, and I’m her friend way, but she’s mine.” He grimaced.
Pressing him against the wall, I stretched up and kissed him.
Humming, he manoeuvred us into his bedroom; it was messy but not offensive. I broke the kiss and stared at his bedside table that caught my peripheral vision. Right on it was a bright red arse dildo.
MATCH
I pointed at it. “What the fuck? Whose is that?”
“Shit.”
“Well, yes.”
“It’s mine. It’s a butt plug.”
“I see it’s a butt plug. Wait, yours?”
He was red from his neck to his ears as he crossed his arms. “Yes, I like it. I use it on myself.”
Well, fuck me sideways. Kinky bastards surrounded me at every turn. “A sub?”
He whipped his head up. “Not strictly. I like both, but not really explored much.”
“A switch?”
He raised his brows. “Are you...”
“Maybe. I mean I like going to Kink at Passion House. Like, it’s fun, and everyone’s nice, and I have seen things.”
“You’ve been? What was it like?”
“Hot. I watched a shibari demo and a burlesque show.”
Toby was panting and rigid. The image of him using it as he wanked sent heat between my legs.
Biting the inside of my cheek, I rested my elbow on the chest of drawers and poked the arse dildo. “Show me?”
“I don’t kn-”
“Can I use it on you?”
Toby was against me in a flash as the possibilities played in my mind.
With his chest against me, his heart pounded with mine as his hands caressed and felt all over, and I undid his shirt. I needed him inside me.
“I’m sorry.” He broke away.
“What for?” I pushed his shirt off his shoulders.
“Just-”
“Shut up.” I kissed him hard, undoing his jeans, and he ran his hands up my thighs.
Hoisting me up on the chest of drawers, he kissed down my neck, working my dress off, getting it stuck on my head.
The Best Friends Anthology (A New City Story Book 5) Page 14