Amazing Grace

by Amazing Grace (retail) (epub)

  Without her mum around to chat to, Grace had never felt so alone. She had a huge decision to make. Perhaps it would be easier all round for everyone if she just gave it another go with Mark.

  Mark texted her that evening, to see whether she’d considered his proposal. He was probably texting her while Lorraine was cooking dinner or something. The thought of having Archie with her all the time was like a carrot dangling over her head. He knew it and he was playing her. Grace couldn’t help feeling that she was being manipulated by him all over again and she ignored the message.

  If and when Vinnie called her back, she didn’t really know what to say to him. She shouldn’t have kept the fact that Mark had attended the awards ceremony with her secret from him, but the only reason she hadn’t told him was because it wasn’t important to her. However, it had been too long now since it happened to bring it up with Vinnie without it sounding like a bigger deal than it was. She didn’t know what to do. She also needed to ask him about the text she has seen and other things, because it was really playing on her mind.

  She tried to call him once more before bed but once more it went to answerphone. Perhaps she’d buggered everything up already.

  ‘Vin, it’s me again. I wanted to explain everything to you. I know that you bumped into Mark and that he’s trying to cause trouble between us. Please, call me so we can talk. Please, Vinnie. I miss you.’

  That night, Grace didn’t sleep a wink. Her mind was all over the place. She’d met someone wonderful and she hadn’t thought that was possible, so he deserved to know what she was thinking. But the trouble was, she didn’t really know what she was thinking herself. How could she explain anything to someone else when she didn’t understand herself? She thought perhaps that if she ignored the problem, it might just go away. Knowing that she had a busy couple of days coming up at work, she vowed just to get stuck in and try to forget all about it for a while.

  * * *

  But that was easier said than done and when she still hadn’t heard from Vinnie by the next morning, she was starting to panic. She couldn’t believe that Mark had managed to ruin what she and Vinnie had built together, but she also couldn’t believe that Vinnie wouldn’t even talk to her and let her explain.

  She rang Ruth.

  ‘Oh, Gracie, what on earth has happened? Vincent has told me that he’s taken an emergency job in Hull and is going to be away for the week. I said that I knew he’d miss you and he said that you weren’t everything that you appeared to be. He sounded really cross. Has something happened?’

  Grace explained it all to Ruth; that Mark had spun their night out into some sort of romantic date and Ruth sympathised, but told her she was a total idiot for not mentioning it to Vinnie at the time. Grace tried to explain that she hadn’t even wanted Mark to accompany her, and hadn’t really even had an option as he’d decided for her, so she’d just blocked it out. That was the only reason she hadn’t told Vinnie. She had nothing to hide.

  ‘I just hope he finds it in his heart to listen and to forgive you, Grace, I really do. I could bash your blooming heads together. You are so perfect for each other but this has come between you. I’ll try to talk to him, but sometimes he’s so pig-headed that he won’t even listen to me. I can only try. I also know that Vinnie has something that he needs to share with you. I wish I could go into it, but it’s not my story to tell. He needs to tell you himself.’

  Grace knew that she would miss him terribly during his week away but it had at least come at the perfect time, giving her some head space so that she could try to make sense of her thoughts and feelings. She’d never been happier than she was with Vinnie, yet there was something about him that she clearly didn’t know. She was torn – wanting to do the right thing for her son and her family.

  Grace had always believed that a family should stick together, taking the cue from her own parents, who had been through hell and back but had always kept the family as a unit. She understood from certain things that her mum had said over the years that her father had never been an angel, and while she never knew exactly what he’d done, she knew that there was something in their life that had caused major turmoil. But her mum had insisted that they stay together for the sake of her family and it was that example that weighed heavy on her mind as she wrestled with what to do. Mark had always been good at manipulating her, making her believe that it was her duty to not think about her own feelings but put the feelings of others before herself. She was at a loss, held back by her sense of duty that she needed to put Archie first, even before her own happiness.

  She knew that Vinnie was due back on Saturday night because before Mark’s revelation, they’d made arrangements to go to Ruth’s, so she decided to leave it at that for the time being and not bother him. She felt like her brain was going to explode if she kept trying to fathom out what she should do. She knew what she wanted to do in her heart, but her head kept pulling her another way.

  * * *

  On Tuesday afternoon, Grace went to visit her dad. When she arrived, Gladys was there and they all had a cuppa together. They were so excited about their cruise and showed Grace the brochure and went through the itinerary with her.

  Her dad was also rather excited to show off his new mobility scooter, something else that was giving him a new lease of life.

  ‘How’s Mark?’ he asked. ‘I was so grateful for all his help with this scooter business. I could never have done it without him.’

  Grace was shocked. Mark had visited her dad? He’d been helping him? Why had neither of them ever mentioned this before?

  ‘You never said he came to see you, Dad. Why would you not tell me that?’

  ‘To be honest, I thought you knew that he pops in for a cup of tea every now and again. He did so much research on the best type of scooter for me to get and then took me along to pick up the one that we’d chosen. I really don’t know why you can’t sort everything out with him. He’s a decent bloke and he’s Archie’s father. A boy needs his father around.’

  Grace was stunned. It wasn’t like Mark to put someone else before himself, but perhaps he really had changed after all, like he said he had? Was he now proving himself to her, knowing that it wouldn’t be long before she found out from her dad that he’d done him a huge favour? She was more perplexed than ever.

  Her dad went out to the toilet, shaking his head, and Gladys asked her if she was OK saying she looked down-hearted.

  ‘Not really, Gladys. I’m so confused.’

  ‘I know I’m an old fuddy-duddy darling, but if I can help in any way, do let me know. I’m a great listener.’

  ‘Thank you, Gladys, I really do appreciate that. Mark and I were not happy when we were together and he wants us to be a family again, but now I’ve met someone else who I really like and have the chance of a new but unsure future. So how do I choose?’

  ‘Is he only saying this now, because you have the chance of happiness with someone else though, Grace? I do know that in life, you have to do what makes your soul sing. And be with someone who always puts you first and loves you for what you are, and not for what they want you to be. And someone who makes you laugh. I met Mark the other day and he seemed to be charming, but his eyes are too close together for my liking. You should never trust a man whose eyes are too close together.’ She laughed.

  ‘Seriously though, you’re a lovely woman and a wonderful mum. And you deserve to be with someone who treats you like a million dollars all of the time, not just when it suits. And you need to be sure that he’s not just trying to spoil your happiness with your new man. That old chestnut, where he just doesn’t want anyone else to have you. But then what do I know? I’m just a silly old woman. Just remember that the person you choose is the person you’re going to grow old with. So decide wisely.’

  Grace smiled and thanked her, as her dad walked back into the room, remembering that Gladys wasn’t the only person to have said this to her. She’d made up her mind.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

>   Grace sent a text to Mark and said that she’d like to see him on Thursday night, suggesting that he could take her out for a meal and to pick her up at seven-fifteen, trying for once to take control. His cursory response agreed to the dinner, but said that she’d have to arrange a babysitter as he was far too busy and he would be there at seven-thirty. Gritting her teeth, her next text was to Monica, asking if she’d help out by sitting with Archie for a couple of hours.

  Thursday afternoon came round and she received a text from Mark to say that he’d had a hell of a day at work and that it would be nice if she could drive so he could have a drink. Once again, Grace tried out her new-found assertiveness, replying that she’d had quite a week too so it would be nice if he drove. He didn’t respond until early evening, once again leaving her hanging till the last possible moment, when he reluctantly agreed.

  When Monica came round and saw her friend, she wolf-whistled. Grace was dressed in a red crossover top, which showed off her magnificent cleavage, a snug-fitting black pencil skirt, and black, knee-high, suede boots. She knew Mark had always had a thing for boots, even if it was nearly the height of summer.

  ‘Wow! You look a-may-zing! I hope Vinnie appreciates the effort that you’ve gone to.’

  ‘It’s not Vinnie I’m going out with, Monica, it’s Mark.’

  ‘You can’t be serious, Grace. What are you even thinking?’

  ‘Mon, you have to trust me on this, I’ve thought long and hard and I’ve made my decision. I’ll be back within two hours.’

  At seven forty-five, fifteen minutes later than they had arranged, Mark turned up. Monica answered the door, glared at him, shouted for Grace and then shut the door in his face, but it was re-opened by Archie, who ran to the door, eager to say hi to his dad, who hugged him. It was clear that Mark had come straight from work as he was wearing his work suit and tie.

  Grace came to the door and they both said goodbye to Archie, Grace giving her son a huge cuddle.

  ‘So, where have you booked?’ she asked Mark.

  ‘Booked? I haven’t booked anywhere. I thought you were booking somewhere.’

  A great start, Grace thought, but she kept her calm.

  Mark walked straight round to his side of the car and let her sort herself out getting in. His phone pinged to signify he’d got a message, which he checked, and as he always had done, tilted it away so that she couldn’t see who it was from. He smirked as he read it, took a minute to respond, then realised that she was watching him and put it in the side pocket of the car.

  ‘Why don’t we head up to the Plough & Harrow,’ she suggested, knowing that they could normally get a table there at short notice.

  ‘I can’t believe you wouldn’t drive. I’ve had a really shitty week at work this week and I could have done with a drink, you know,’ he said.

  ‘Yep, my week’s not been brilliant either, to be honest.’

  ‘Yeah but a problem in your little job is nothing compared to the scale of the problems I have. I have the future of the country to think about, educating the little shits I have at my school. And the parents, for that matter.’

  It was obvious that Mark was already irritated and, as usual, it immediately put her on edge. But she was determined this evening that she would not let him rile her.

  They arrived at the pub and were lucky to be seated straight away at a table in the conservatory area. While they sat and looked at the menu, a silence descended upon them; clearly they were both finding it difficult to even think of anything to talk about. She thought of Vinnie and the hours they had spent chatting about their lives, their hopes, their fears and felt a wave of sadness knowing that Vinnie didn’t even want to see her right now. The waitress came over and Mark ordered his food without even asking Grace what she wanted or even if she was ready. Sometimes she forgot quite how inconsiderate he was; and this was a time when he was trying to impress her and apparently woo her back!

  She placed her order with the waitress and Mark said he was popping to the gents’. Uncharacteristically, he left his phone on the table, so after a quick look over her shoulder to make sure he couldn’t see her, she picked it up. She knew it was wrong, but couldn’t help herself. She flicked onto his messages and found the last one that had arrived when they were in the car.

  Have a good time at your conference, hope you learn loads. Sorry you couldn’t join me on this holiday but look forward to having lots of sex when I get back!

  His reply read:

  It’ll be dead boring, I’d much rather be on holiday with you. I’ll be thinking of you as I’m in our bed at night, imagining how hot your tan looks. You can imagine what I’ll be doing while I’m thinking of you! Can’t wait to see your white bits! Xxx

  So, that’s why he’d been smirking. Leopards really don’t change their spots, do they? He was just keeping all his options open, wasn’t he? What a bastard! Why she expected differently from him though, she couldn’t imagine. She knew now that the decision she had come to was the absolute right thing to do. For her, for Archie and for Mark. She’d been thinking about it all week. He’d always made out that the split was her fault and she permanently felt guilty about taking Archie away from his dad. She’d spent the week wondering whether Mark could ever change and whether they really could have a happy family life together, reunited. But she knew now that he wouldn’t change, and that for once she had to be strong.

  She put his phone back in exactly the same place he’d left it, dropped Ruth a text and asked if she could do her a massive favour. Ruth responded in exactly the way she hoped she would. She also asked the waitress to hold their dinner order.

  When he returned, she asked him what he was doing at the weekend, just to get the measure of what he had planned, considering that he was supposed to be trying to work hard to get her back. He said he was going to the pub to watch the rugby with his mates on Saturday afternoon then out for a curry, and playing golf on Sunday. Grace noticed that he hadn’t even asked her what her plans were. Clearly he’d already slipped back into his old habits of doing what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, without any consideration of her or Archie. They were just an afterthought in his life, as they always had been. And sadly, always would be. She’d been so focused on what she thought would be the right course of action, bringing her and Mark back together for Archie’s sake, that she hadn’t realised it until now.

  The door to the pub opened and there stood Ruth. Grace acknowledged her with a nod, watching as she headed over to sit in a chair by the door.

  ‘Mark. I’ve considered your proposal.’ She looked up and saw he had a smug grin on his face. She had a feeling it might not be there for long. ‘Thank you so much for thinking of Archie and me, and how we could once again be a family.’

  His smile became even bigger, if that was possible. ‘I’m glad you’ve come to your senses, Grace. You know it’s the right thing to do!’

  She held up her hand to stop him speaking, using one of his typical moves back on him. It felt good.

  ‘Mark. I would appreciate it if you would just shut your mouth for one minute. It gives me such pleasure to tell you that I wouldn’t want to be with you again if you were the last man on earth. You are arrogant, you are ignorant and you are inconsiderate. You think only of yourself, your own fulfilment and your own happiness.’

  ‘Oh and I suppose this is only because you’ve got yourself a new shag now?’ he responded. ‘Bloody fan-fucking-tastic Virtuous Vinnie waves his willy around and you think he’s Mr Fucking Wonderful.’

  ‘Do you know what, Mark? Yes, Vinnie has waved his willy around, and I have to say it’s bigger and more beautiful than yours will ever be and he knows how to use it a whole lot better than you ever used yours! He’s kind, he’s considerate, he’s gorgeous and he’s bloody perfect for me. And he’s nicer to our son than you’ve ever been. And you’re his father! You have never put your family before yourself. You are the only person that matters in your life. You should be ashamed of yourse
lf.’

  Mark turned red with fury and went to speak.

  ‘Do not speak right now!’ she bellowed at him. Grace didn’t know where this strength of purpose had come from but she did know that this was the very last time that her ex was ever going to treat her this way.

  ‘So, yes, Vinnie is a hundred times the man that you have ever been or ever will be. He treats me with kindness and respect, something that you don’t appear to have for anyone, not even your own family. And I suggest that if you ever want people to like you, go look those words up in a dictionary. And for the record, I would rather be alone than be with you. Because being alone is better than being in a relationship where you are lonely and disrespected. Being alone is better than being lied to and cheated on. And you’re still doing it now to Lorraine. I am worth far more than you Mark. It’s just taken me a very long time to work that out. But now I have, I have never been more serious about anything in my life. Now go and fuck yourself!’

  And with that, she picked up her coat, strode over to Ruth who hugged her so tightly she thought she might have cracked a rib, and walked out the door, to the applause of the bar staff.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  There had been no calls or texts from Mark since she’d left him in the pub the previous night. She knew he’d be furious but she was sure he was giving her the silent treatment on purpose, in order to keep her on tenterhooks so that she’d be worrying about what he was planning. It seemed like none of the men in her life were speaking to her.

  In a total state of daydreaming, she got Archie ready for school and took the short walk hand in hand with this adorable child. She knew that one day soon would be the last day that he would want to hold her hand and so took every opportunity to do so now. His chubby little hand fitted into hers perfectly, although she noticed how big it was getting. Soon, he’d be taller than her and she dreaded the day when he wouldn’t fit on her lap any more. When they got to school, he did what he always did and squeezed her hand three times, one for ‘I’, one for ‘love’ and one for ‘you’. This way he didn’t have to say it out loud while his mates were around. She squeezed his back four times, the extra squeeze meaning, ‘I love you too.’ As he walked off, she called him back. When he got back to her, she hugged him tight and kissed him. ‘Mum! You’re embarrassing me!’