Barking Maddy's Puppy Love

by S M Mala

  ‘That’s being mean.’ Maddy looked away, getting upset at the comment. ‘I was generous, and it was sincere, not to make him like me.’

  ‘You have a sunny disposition which is full of hope. It’s like your heart is joyful.’ Stan slumped into the couch as he started to smile. ‘There’s no such thing nor can it be sustained without medication or illegal substances.’

  ‘That’s not true. You have to have hope. If there were no hope, then the children and parents I meet would give up. You can’t give up. You’ve just keep on trying.’ Maddy tickled Phyllis’s tummy. ‘And don’t tell me there’s no Father Christmas again or you and I will fall out.’

  ‘Are you for real?’

  ‘You better believe it, baby.’ She laughed for a moment then sighed. ‘I can pretend to bite Ted’s mates if I dress like this. Notice I bark at them just to frighten them, then they think I’m unhinged, which is good, so they don’t speak to me. Not that they want to.’ Maddy let out a long sigh as Stan smiled. ‘Who were those girls Roland slept with? Why didn’t any of you guys tell me?’

  ‘Because you’d only get upset and we knew you’d have to ditch him sooner than later.’

  ‘That’s okay for you to say,’ she groaned, kissing Phyllis’s head. ‘You’ve got this gorgeous little thing, a successful career, and Giselle, with the flat abs, is a goddess. Your life is a bed of roses.’ Maddy saw Stan pull a face. ‘What did I say?’

  ‘Giselle wants to take a break. She says we need to think about where the relationship is going. We’ve been together for nine months, and I bet it’s about getting a key to my flat,’ he replied, scowling into thin air. ‘Which is just great!’

  ‘Oh.’ Maddy bit her lip and tried to think of something comforting to say.

  Deep down, she didn’t like Giselle though there was nothing wrong, other than she was hot and all the men fancied her. She secretly suspected that Ted did too.

  ‘I’m sorry to hear that, Stanley.’ Then she took a deep breath. ‘I’ve never been inside your flat.’ He flicked her a glance. ‘I hear it’s very nice.’

  ‘It is.’

  ‘Why have you never invited me?’

  ‘Why?’

  She noticed Stan look at her and she couldn’t figure out what he was thinking so decided not to pursue the invite she was obviously never going to get.

  ‘And you don’t want to live with Giselle, I take it?’

  ‘No, I don’t.’

  ‘But she wants to live with you. Then tell her.’

  ‘You think saying to Giselle that I still want to have sex with her, but she’s not allowed to move in, will enable me to continue the relationship?’

  ‘She rocks your nuts off.’

  ‘What did you say?’ He laughed. ‘Rocks my nuts off?’

  ‘Floats your boat. At least you're honest. I think she’ll respect you for that.’

  Maddy frowned and knew the only person who would accept something like that would be her. If Stan asked her to pay for sex with him, she’d gladly empty her bank account.

  ‘Do you respect Roland for shagging around?’

  ‘What do you think?’

  ‘And you never suspected?’

  ‘I’d like to chop his dick off now I know, but I’m not worried about contracting sexual diseases from him. I made him wear two condoms as added protection and for it to last longer.’ Maddy tapped her nose starting to smile. ‘I’m nobody’s fool.’

  All the response she got from Stan was him rolling his eyes in dismay.

  She wondered what she had said wrong this time.

  ‘Cutie pie!’

  Maddy was holding Pearl’s five-week old baby girl, Honey, cooing at the beautiful child. ‘Babies are wonderful, aren’t they?’

  ‘Not really.’ Pearl looked at her while miserably eating a cookie. ‘I can’t bond. She’s like a stranger in my home.’

  ‘It’s early days,’ she said, seeing the nanny in the background doing the washing up. ‘It’s good you’ve got Heidi here to help.’

  ‘Maddy, being a mother isn’t all it’s cracked up to be,’ her friend miserably replied.

  She looked at the dark rings under her eyes. Her usual ebony skin seemed pallid, and she did look miserable. Pearl had removed her extensions, leaving her hair with a natural curl.

  ‘Have you been to the doctor? Spoke to the midwife?’ Maddy gently asked, smiling at the baby. ‘It took ages for you to get pregnant and maybe you’ve got that postnatal depression thing going on.’

  ‘I can’t.’ Pearl munched on another cookie. ‘TJ comes from a large family, and they all cope with the hundreds of offspring they’ve got. My mother told me that a woman naturally loves their child and I'm odd.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘And he’s always away at the moment. I swear he’s avoiding coming home.’

  ‘He’s a music producer. You know he travels everywhere so he can’t be home all the time.’

  ‘I feel trapped. Trapped. When I’m with her, you don’t know what I want to do.’

  Maddy glanced at the nanny who had overheard and looked concerned at Pearl. She knew that TJ was wise enough to put someone on watch of his wife. They could all see how Pearl became unsure as soon as she held her daughter. There wasn’t the usual bond as one would expect from a long-wanted child. Pearl seemed cold and indifferent as if they had given her the wrong child.

  Maddy’s had to help her through it.

  She stayed two nights a week up until Honey was four weeks old and when TJ was away. He had confided he was worried about Pearl, but she refused to seek treatment. They both knew this was down to her pride and the fact she was usually good at everything. To fail at motherhood would be devastating for her friend.

  Maddy knew she had to tread very carefully with Pearl, knowing she could fly off the handle when cornered.

  ‘You look great!’ Maddy said, smiling at her. ‘That baby weight has dropped off.’ She was met with an unimpressed glance. ‘Have you booked the yoga classes?’

  ‘As much as I love you, and I do, you need to know the facts about having a baby,’ Pearl said, shaking her head. ‘Not only is it painful and rips your fanny to pieces, but you also produce a little human who you are supposed to love and care. All I worry about is not accidentally killing her and being up on a charge for murder.’

  ‘Pearl!’ hissed Maddy, getting to her feet. ‘You can’t say things like that. She’s only little and life if precious. If you saw the children in the hospice, you’ll soon realise that.’ She wanted to cry at the thought. ‘If anything happened to Honey it would break your heart and mine. I’d also break your bloody neck, and I won’t visit you in the slammer.’

  ‘I know,’ replied Pearl, starting to look upset. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s overwhelming, and I don’t know how to cope. I don’t want drugs or anything like that. It’s so hard Maddy, really hard.’

  She started to cry as Maddy sat next to her, cradling the baby with one arm and putting another one around Pearl.

  ‘We live in a world where everyone wants us to be perfect in how we act and live our lives. I, for one, know that’s impossible.’ Maddy let out a deep sigh seeing Pearl wipe her tears. ‘You have everything I want but can’t see it. I know things aren’t quite like what people think, and having a baby is hard. Pearl, you’re a strong woman and will find your way.’ Then she smiled. ‘And I too am I strong woman who will guide you through this.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘Well, firstly you need to spend time with Honey and not let the nanny nurse do everything, then-.’

  ‘How are you a strong woman?’

  ‘Ah, well, I dumped Roland.’

  For the first time in that hour, Pearl roared with laughter, nearly waking the baby as Maddy rocked her back to sleep.

  ‘I heard what happened,’ her friend said, putting her hand over her mouth. ‘You didn’t do it alone, did you?’

  ‘Ted told you, didn’t he?’ she said, feeling deflated as she wanted to relay her stor
y as a woman in control, not one being directed by her other friend. ‘He can’t keep his mouth shut.’

  ‘That’s what ex-boyfriends do. Confide in the funny things.’

  Pearl and Ted had gone out for three months, courtesy of Maddy’s matchmaking when she was fifteen. She thought putting them together would make her world a nicer place. What she hadn’t accounted for was that the pair would be like rampant rabbits.

  Then when they broke up, she was being torn by the pair of them until she had a strop and didn’t speak to them for a fortnight. Soon they all made up, but that was because both her friends found new entertainment.

  Maddy did think something was going on at the time based on how angry Pearl was with Ted, and how sheepishly he behaved. The only positive thing was that they were overly nice to Maddy as if protecting her from a big secret.

  And she played up to it, making sure they both bought her ice-cream every day.

  Their split did have some perks after all.

  Since then, all three remained friends though Maddy had felt a little excluded, knowing she hadn’t slept with either one and they had shagged each other. It all worked out happily, other than for Maddy who was still single.

  ‘You paid this guy to spend time with you, his rent and bought him all sorts of things. Maddy, you can’t buy love.’

  ‘I wasn’t buying love. I was nice.’

  ‘Roland! He was only trying to get TJ to produce something for him!’ laughed out Pearl. ‘Can’t that boy hear himself when he beats the drums? Out of rhythm.’

  ‘He wasn’t in bed.’

  ‘That’s probably his only saving grace,’ she said as the pair burst out laughing.

  ‘Did you tell him how much money you’ve got?’

  ‘No. I used a different card, so he wouldn’t gain access to my account.’ She turned to her friend. ‘He was always looking over my shoulder when we were at the cash point.’

  ‘Good.’ Pearl wiped her eyes. ‘Men, people, will come at you because of it. You keep quiet about the amount.’ Pearl smiled at her gently. ‘I know you tell people they pay you for the charity work.’

  ‘I can’t tell people I live off the money, can I?’ she said, frowning. ‘Mum and dad said not to say anything. Ted and you are the only ones that know. I feel like a fraud when people talk about work and things. I do the hospice’s marketing for free and donate.’

  ‘Your parents were smart to move away and start afresh. Their windfall was very generous.’ Pearl started to grin. ‘And they were right to put a clause on your inheritance until you were twenty-five, making sure you earned your keep.’

  ‘I lived with you,’ Maddy said, resting her head on Pearl’s shoulder. ‘Before you booted me out.’

  ‘I told you to go and rent a place to find your feet,’ she said, starting to laugh. ‘Boot you out indeed! You only moved a few roads away. And being the lazy girl that you are, bought a house instead. Maddy, you have been gifted with good luck.’

  Rocking the baby, that’s not how Maddy felt, far from it.

  ‘You’re blessed with a loving husband and a beautiful child,’ she whispered to Honey sleeping in her arms.

  ‘But at least you’re doing something with your life, not sitting around and entertaining your husband and his work colleagues. Look at me! I’m just a lump of jelly.’

  ‘Not you’re not. You’re beautiful. After growing a human being in your tummy, it needs time to get back to normal. And as for entertaining? Tell TJ to take them out to dinner and foot the bill.’ Then she grinned mischievously. ‘Or he could ask me to come in your replacement.’

  ‘You wish!’ laughed out Pearl, letting out a loud sigh. ‘I know I’m lucky to have her. Three years of IVF isn’t fun, but now it seems, I don’t know how to put it, an anti-climax and stress beyond imagination.’

  ‘Be lucky she’s healthy and well.’ Maddy bit her lip and looked at Pearl. ‘Seeing a sick child is heartbreaking.’

  ‘I don’t know how you do it, day in and day out.’

  ‘I take a deep breath before I walk in the hospice because if I don’t, I’d just turn around and walk away.’ She felt guilty about saying it. ‘I can walk away, you see, but the parents can’t. To watch what you love the most slowly get sick only to pass away is awful. Poor babies.’

  They sat there in silence, looking at Honey.

  ‘Pearl,’ Maddy continued, seeing her friend gaze at the child. ‘I think you need to speak to someone about this post-natal depression.’

  ‘I’m not depressed.’

  ‘Okay, just call it an unhappy spell. Because you need to love your baby and she needs her mum. Heidi can’t be the surrogate mother unless you want me to come and live with you. I know TJ would love that.’

  ‘Only because you’ll wind him up over the football.’ Her friend looked at her, and there was sadness in her eyes. ‘I should be bonding with her, but I can’t. I can’t breathe, to be honest. What’s wrong with me?’

  ‘You’re only human,’ she replied, smiling at her friend. ‘Look at me with my perfect friends, you and Ted. Then there’s Phyllis.’

  ‘Maddy, you can’t include a dog on your list,’ giggled Pearl, putting an arm around her shoulder. ‘And it’s Stan. You want to see what he wrote the other day! It was hilarious!’

  ‘Why read his rubbish?’ Maddy started to frown. ‘I don’t.’

  ‘He’s very funny and talks about things that guys don’t want to say. He’s on about this guy, a new friend who he thinks is annoying and winds him up no end. Says they’re irritating called Lippy.’

  ‘You think it’s a boy?’

  ‘Sounds like it.’

  ‘Oh,’ she huffed. ‘He says that about me so at least I know that’s what he thinks about most people.’ Then Maddy pondered. ‘If Ted marries Stasia then I’m stuck with Stan for life, you know that don’t you?’

  ‘I thought that would make you very happy,’ her friend slyly replied. ‘I see you wagging your tail at him when no-one’s looking.’

  ‘I do not!’ Maddy then grinned. ‘He ignores me when I do it.’

  ‘I like him,’ Pearl said reaching out for the baby, as Maddy put Honey in her arms. ‘He’s not full of shit and believe me, I meet loads of men in TJ’s business that are!’

  ‘Will you go to the doctors if I come with you?’

  ‘There’s nothing wrong with me,’ Pearl said anxiously as Honey started to become unsettled and she handed her back to Maddy. ‘You’re fussing over nothing.’

  Maddy looked at Heidi who glanced at her, but there was no way she was going to give up. She only wanted her friend to get well again and enjoy being a mum. That’s what Pearl deserved.

  Even if she didn’t want to admit it to herself.

  ‘Dora, you look pretty.’

  Maddy had walked into the room of St Martha’s, the hospice, and was smiling at the twelve-year-old girl who was sitting in a spotted, skater dress. She had hair cut to her jaw with a thick fringe. It was intense dark brown, and her skin was a caramel tone. Dora’s big brown eyes were the focus as well as her cupid shaped pink lips. The child was very pretty as a perfect doll, and Maddy sighed on seeing her. ‘Is this for me or anyone else I might know?’

  ‘No, Maddy, don’t say that,’ she replied, sitting on the edge of her bed. ‘He might hear. Close the door.’

  ‘Boys are nothing but trouble. Believe me!’ Maddy looked at her dress. ‘We’re matching, other than yours is red with white spots and my dress is blue with white spots. People will call us the dotty pair!’

  Dora liked the way Maddy dressed and copied her style. They decided to call it kooky and cute. But Dora liked it when Maddy wore the dog costume and pretended to be a puppy, mainly to annoy the dog haters, saying she had fleas.

  Walking up to Dora she kissed her head and gave a big hug. The girl who Maddy had known since she was six. She had cystic fibrosis and in the past two years had been in and out of the hospice more frequently. Her health was deteriorating, and Maddy
secretly worried about her all the time. Today she was here for some respite.

  It was tough on Dora and her mother, Linda, a single parent with two kids. Sometimes the break apart made it easier for the small family to cope. But Maddy was always on hand to drop by and spend time with Dora when it got too much.

  And sometimes it seemed that the weight of the world was on Linda’s shoulders when Maddy could see she was worried about her eldest child.

  ‘Did you bring Phyllis?’ Dora asked happily.

  ‘Ah, well, Stan, he’s out and about, and I didn’t ask him,’ Maddy replied, sitting on the bed. ‘His woman, Giselle, has asked for them to cool it, mainly because she wants to move in and he doesn’t want her to. And that means he’s going to be miserable not that you’d notice while he strums his guitar and flashes annoying glances at me. I don’t know if he likes me.’

  ‘Every time I see him, he seems to like you. Does it matter?’

  ‘No!’ Maddy said, trying to hide her embarrassment that it did. ‘I don’t care what he thinks.’

  ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘Sure, I’m sure.’

  ‘How is Stan other than that?’

  ‘He’s fine,’ she replied looking at Dora. ‘Why?’

  ‘Oh nothing,’ the girl replied and started to grin.

  ‘Come on.’

  ‘It’s just every time you mention his name your eyes light up then you smile,’ she said quietly. ‘Like you’re thinking something.’

  ‘Mainly that he thinks I’m silly and he told me that I dress like a six-year-old girl. What a cheek! No-one says anything about his fifty different types of hats he wears all the time even though he has lovely hair.’ Dora started to laugh. ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing Maddy.’ She let out a deep sigh. ‘You know Jerome isn’t well at the moment. I know he went into the hospital and he’s two doors down. They’re saying he might move to the other end.’

  ‘Dora, you mustn’t say it like it’s the place of no return.’

  ‘But it is.’

  The ‘other end’ was where the children spent time before they passed away.

  It was upsetting as it was debilitating for everyone in the hospice. Maddy hoped when she did the visits that she would never the see the children in that part of the building.