Barking Maddy's Puppy Love

by S M Mala

  ‘And I’ve been a little unfair on how I’ve judged you on a few things. But it’s you, and that’s good. Maddy, I need to tell you something and-.’

  A mobile started to ring, and it was Stan’s. The tune of ‘Top Cat’ was playing, and he groaned when he looked at it.

  ‘Oh shit!’ he mumbled, and she saw it was Giselle. ‘I can’t talk to her yet.’

  ‘She’s up early,’ Maddy said, deflated that the moment had gone. ‘Answer it.’

  Stan got up and walked out of the bedroom as Phyllis stretched out on the bed. It seems that her pet had taken most of the bed, so Maddy and the dog were pushed to the side.

  ‘Time to get up,’ she said, seeing it was coming to ten in the morning. ‘It’s going to be a lovely day.’

  Maddy opened the door and heard Stan speaking.

  ‘She’s a friend,’ he said before letting out a little laugh. ‘I never question you about your friends.’

  Not moving, she listened closely.

  ‘We’re not together.’ Then there was whispering, and she walked closer to his room trying to hear some more. ‘No, she doesn’t know. What does that mean?’

  Phyllis then rushed past her and down the stairs, barking loudly. The postman then pushed something through the letterbox which always delighted the pup.

  ‘I’ve got to go. We’ll talk later but you better not say anything, okay? It’s not fair, and it’s a bit of fun.’

  Going quickly to the bathroom, Maddy put on the shower and wondered what he was talking about. He didn’t sound so happy when speaking to Giselle. Something was going on as it was a little odd.

  As she quickly showered and changed, Maddy realised that Stan was in his room. She poked her head in and noticed he was lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling. Then he looked at her. All the pleasant looks of care from earlier on had gone.

  It was the confused, not so sure about you, the expression on his face. Maddy smiled and went to her room wondering what it was that made him look at her like that.

  And deep down, if it was horrible, she didn’t want to know.

  ‘Is that you, Maddy?’

  Immediately, Maddy’s blood ran cold as she knew that voice which had haunted her since she was a teenager. ‘Madeleine Berkeley?’

  Standing in the health food shop later on that day to buy some additive-free deodorant, she wanted to ignore her, but when Tara stepped closer, Maddy knew she was stuck. Her blood ran cold, and she felt sick.

  But she wasn’t going to cower, not this time.

  ‘Hello Tara,’ she said turning to look at the plastic, rather not fantastic, woman standing in front of her. ‘How are you?’

  ‘So, it is you.’ Tara smiled, and it was the same false one from years ago, but this time the teeth were brilliant white against a dark golden tan. ‘I thought I saw you the other day.’ Then she looked at her up and down and seemed amused by the spotted dress. ‘Still dressing in your weird, quirky way. Some things don’t change.’

  ‘And some things do.’ Maddy looked at the woman with the same bemused smile. ‘Sometimes you can’t change time, can you? No matter how hard you try. Got to go.’

  Putting the deodorant back on the shelf, she walked out, with her head in the air, turning directly out of the shop and rushing to a side street.

  Her hands were sweating as so was she. Maddy wanted to throw up but knew she had to control it. All those shit feelings from over sixteen years came flooding back, and she had to take hold of the situation, so breathed deeply thinking good things.

  ‘Maddy?’ she heard and turned to see Pearl, Heidi, and a buggy. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Pearl!’ she said, flinging herself into her friend’s arms. ‘I saw Tara. She spoke to me and then the way she looked at me as if I was dirt. Why does she make me feel like this?’

  ‘Where is she?’ Pearl said getting very angry. ‘Let her look at me like that!’

  ‘Pearl, please?’ Heidi said calmly. ‘Let’s not get involved.’

  ‘It’s fine,’ she replied, seeing Pearl’s furious expression. ‘Don’t worry about it. Just seeing her again brings it all back.’ Maddy took the pushchair. ‘I want to take Honey for a walk.’

  Walking at a fast speed, she didn’t ask where they were going and headed for the park.

  ‘Wait up!’ shouted Pearl, trying to keep up. ‘Why the rush?’

  ‘I need to exercise for the fun run I’m doing at the end of the month. This is good training. Do you want to push?’

  ‘No,’ her friend bluntly replied. Maddy stopped to take a peek at the beautiful, sleeping baby. ‘You can do the honours. Heidi thinks this will be good for me.’

  Maddy glanced over her shoulder to see Heidi on the phone.

  ‘I think you’re resisting,’ she whispered to Pearl. ‘Can’t you try to make an effort with your baby?’

  ‘I told you how I felt. Very much how you feel when you saw Tara. It’s an internal panic that I can’t explain.’ Pearl shrugged her shoulders. ‘TJ and I had a massive quarrel last night. He wants his mother to come and spend some time. I refused. Why should she make me feel any more shit than I already do?’

  ‘Do you feel that bad?’

  ‘I’m a failure, Maddy. I’ve failed at being a mother.’

  With that, Pearl marched off ahead, as Heidi walked closer.

  ‘Hey Maddy,’ she said, peeking into the buggy. ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Is she okay?’ Maddy watched Pearl’s hands turn into fists. ‘It has been months, and this isn’t getting any better. What can I do?’

  ‘Be a friend, that’s all. She’s not connecting with Honey, and I wonder if she feels threatened by her arrival. When people come to visit, she watches how they are with her baby, and I sense some anguish.’

  ‘Is it post-natal depression? Why won’t TJ take her to the GP to find out? That man and his music business. It’s not all happy tunes you know?’

  ‘I know,’ Heidi laughed and then turned to Maddy. ‘I have to go away in a few weeks, and TJ wants his mother to come. Pearl has refused and said she can look after the baby.’

  ‘What do you think?’ Maddy asked, frowning at the idea.

  ‘She needs to learn how to communicate with Honey. Pearl has a sweet child, like her name, I just wish she’d try.’

  ‘I’ll make sure I’m around.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  Maddy then heard the rev of an engine and looked out towards the road. Tara was in her flash car and seemed to be attracting attention.

  Then she looked over at Maddy and put on her evil false smile.

  Maddy had a bad feeling she hadn’t seen the last of her nemesis.

  ‘In the dog suit!’

  Maddy sat in Dora’s living room with her arms folded. ‘Can you believe it? She thinks I’m like the mascot and need to be paraded positively! What if I have a heart attack, then what happens?’

  ‘Is that why you’re dressed like that?’ asked Dora starting to giggle. ‘That’s your idea of sports training.’

  ‘I had to buy this!’ she replied, shaking her head opening up her red hooded top. ‘Everything was pink, which is fine but so stretchy and tight. This is the baggiest I could get!’ Maddy pulled at the Lycra vest and then at the black pants. ‘Yoga trousers because I refuse to wear cycling shorts! What an insult to the female form. Luckily I have a matching head scarf.’ She touched her white and red spotted headgear. ‘Finishes it off nicely.’

  Linda was laughing as she put down a cup of tea for Maddy while Liam glanced over his shoulder at her while watching television.

  ‘Do you think people are going to pay more so see me sweat to death?’ she continued, watching Dora try not to laugh.

  ‘They might pay money just to see you if you do it,’ Dora sweetly added. ‘How’s the training going?’

  ‘I have to go home and run this afternoon. And when we were having Sunday lunch yesterday Stan kept watching what I was drinking. Then this morning he tried to make me eat poached e
ggs, saying I needed the energy. I just stuck to my marmalade on toast and Cheerios.’ She glanced at Dora and could see her friend looked a little tired but decided not to say anything. ‘I have thirteen more days to train and then that’s it. No more running! More importantly,’ Maddy said, turning to Dora. ‘We have a party to sort out.’

  Dora’s mum glanced at her from the corridor then walked away. She sensed something was up but wasn’t sure whether to ask.

  ‘Now Liam, are you going to do a musical turn for the party? Dora wants lots of fun in your garden.’

  ‘I’m not going!’ he said loudly, turning to look at her. ‘It’ll be full of girls and sick people.’

  ‘Liam, that’s not nice,’ Dora sternly replied. ‘They are my friends, and I want them here. Birthdays are special, and it’s important to have your friends around you, just in case.’

  ‘Just in case what?’ asked Maddy, seeing Dora frown. ‘You’re going to be thirteen years old. A teenager. I’m accused of acting like one even now.’

  ‘Maddy, can I have a word?’ Linda asked and noticed Dora flinch. ‘It won’t take a moment.’

  ‘Dora, I have to go for my training session.’ She kissed her on the cheek. ‘You look much better, but you need to rest up some more. Do you hear? We have to rehearse our singing for the star turn.’

  ‘Tell me when then I can go out and play football,’ sniggered Liam. ‘You both hurt my ears.’

  ‘Why you!’ Maddy tickled him under the armpits which usually tipped the child into giggling fits of laughter. ‘And there’s more of that if you don’t behave.’

  ‘Stop! Stop!’ he shouted, lying flat on the ground. ‘I give in!’

  ‘Good,’ she replied and grinned at him. ‘Better speak to your mum.’

  She left the living room and went into the small kitchen seeing Linda’s face was etched with worry.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Maddy asked, closing the door behind her. ‘I sense something is up.’

  ‘I need to tell you something, but I don’t want you to worry,’ she replied, looking gently at her before taking her hand. ‘Dora’s not recovering as quickly as we had hoped. The infection took it out of her, so I want to be exceptionally careful over the next few weeks.’

  ‘Okay, I won’t come visit, but I do wash and make sure I have the antiseptic hand gel before I enter,’ Maddy replied, feeling guilty but not knowing why. ‘I could wear overalls if you prefer and a mask. I can go to the local hardware-.’

  ‘No, that’s not what I mean,’ smiled Linda. ‘You do cheer us up no end, and I know you mean so much to Dora. I think since Jerome got ill again and she figured out something was wrong with Lance, I sense she has become a little subdued. When you’re around, she’s back to her normal self. I worry that sometimes she is secretly concerned about her health. Dora doesn’t do half as much as she did a few years back.’

  ‘Then let me take her out. We won’t go far, probably my home and through the park. She needs to see there’s a wonderful world out there.’ Maddy then hesitated. ‘Is she okay? You would tell me, wouldn’t you? I know she thinks it’s best that people show when they’re upset, and I am apparently transparent, but I want to help. And please don’t worry about the cost of the party, I’ll see to that.’

  ‘Maddy, that’s too much to ask for, and I want to pay for it.’

  ‘Well, I’ll pay for it and then will present you with half the bill. You work hard Linda, and I know you have to keep an eye on your budget being a single mum. If ever you need anything, please ask. Don’t feel embarrassed because I want to help.’

  Linda grabbed Maddy and gave her a massive hug then released her with tears in her eyes.

  ‘You’re truly a wonderful person, do you know that? An angel.’

  ‘Ah, well I know someone else who thinks like that but not in such a positive manner.’

  ‘Your friend? Stan is his name, isn’t it?’ Linda grinned. ‘The one Dora says you’re always talking about.’

  ‘I am not always talking about him,’ she replied, with a nervous laugh. ‘He’s staying with me until the week after bank holiday when I do the marathon.’

  ‘Fun run.’

  ‘It will be like a marathon to me. All for the hospice and my boss’s amusement.’ Maddy touched Linda’s shoulder. ‘I’ll do anything to help Dora. That’s my number one priority.’

  Leaving the house and jumping onto her bike, Maddy pedalled to the park and noticed her trainer was looking at his watch and waiting for her. Phyllis came running up as she cycled towards Stan then stopped.

  ‘You’re late,’ he said, stretching against the bench.

  ‘I’m on time,’ she replied, cuddling Phyllis before locking her bike against the rail. ‘I went to see Dora.’

  ‘How is she?’

  ‘Not so good.’ Maddy stared at Phyllis who went off running into the green following some other dogs. ‘Her mum says she’s feeling a little low since getting the infection. I am going to take her out and hopefully put a positive spin on things. Could be the depression of turning thirteen. I can relate.’

  ‘You’re turning thirty.’ Stan shook his head. She could see part of his hairy chest as he was wearing a V-neck t-shirt. He looked quite fit, and there was a healthy glow. ‘Her condition will only deteriorate as she gets older.’

  ‘Unless she gets a lung transplant,’ Maddy defensively replied. ‘And that could happen.’

  ‘The chances are slim.’

  ‘Stop being realistic!’ she snapped, not trying to get upset and seeing Stan recoil in surprise. ‘She’s going to be all right. I could give her one of my lungs.’

  ‘And what will you do with just the one?’ he asked, starting to smile. ‘But based on your running I think you need half a lung.’

  ‘And you know I have to run in the puppy suit, don’t you? Marian is seriously trying to humiliate me. What if someone calls the RSPCA for cruelty to animals when they see me? What sort of publicity is that?’

  Stan smiled and put his hand over his mouth to try and hide it as she frowned. Maddy then flung her arms and legs around.

  ‘What are you doing?’ he asked as she took some deep breaths.

  ‘Stretching as you told me to.’

  ‘Bloody hell, Maddy. You’re not just going to be put down after the fun run, but you might just pull a muscle if you don’t warm up. Look what I’m doing and copy.’

  Taking off her rucksack and throwing it to the floor then locking it to her bike, she removed her hooded top and took off the spotted headscarf, tying her hair back. Stan grinned flexing his legs, and she half-heartedly joined in, pretending to stretch by copying his facial expressions.

  ‘You are just-.’ Stan stopped and looked at her. ‘Inspirational.’

  ‘Really?’ Maddy smiled and flung her arms around. ‘Not irritating?’

  ‘Oh, you’re that.’ He let out a massive sigh. ‘As you’re not going to do this properly, we might as well jog.’

  ‘Jog away.’

  Maddy followed him and tried to keep up but her mind kept floating back to what Linda said, and she knew there was more to it. Step by step she followed him noticing the increased speed as Phyllis jogged along beside them. This time she wasn’t letting up as something was troubling her.

  And for the first time, she had a bad feeling that something was going to happen to Dora.

  ‘I don’t want her to die!’ she suddenly shouted out and stopped running. ‘I don’t want Dora to die.’

  ‘Maddy!’ Stan turned and ran back to her.

  ‘What if there’s something wrong and I have to throw her the best party ever? Do you think they’d tell me? I have a right to know.’ She put her head in her hands. ‘I don’t know what to think.’

  ‘Maddy,’ he gently said and wrapped his arms around her. ‘Don’t think bad things. I’m sorry about saying that she will get worse. Not everyone does, and they live long and happy lives. I was looking up on the web and wanted to know how it affects children and teenagers.
’

  ‘Why?’ She looked up at him.

  ‘Because when I met her, I could see there was a bond and I was interested. I’m inquisitive too.’ Stan released her and stepped back. ‘By even doing this run you’re going further than estimated.’

  ’5 kilometers is long. You know it is 6.3 miles.’

  ‘That’s not what I meant,’ he said, his voice lowering. ‘You show that you care. Your heart and wallet are worn on your sleeve.’ Stan moved closer. ‘I can see why Ted and Pearl worry about you all the time.’

  ‘It’s only money, and my heart? I don’t want it broken, not by losing people I love.’ And then she couldn’t help it as the tears came. ‘It scares me, it does. When the kids get so ill you know there’s no turning back. I go down the corridor of no return in the hospice and hold it together, and then I fall to pieces in private. The funerals are tough and what can you say? The loss to their family is so intense, no words, not even my verbal diarrhoea can help when it dries up at those important moments.’ Maddy grimaced. ‘Or not.’

  He took her hand and ran around the park once more as she concentrated on keeping up with him until eventually, they stopped. Stan made her stretch then they walked back to the house. She could hardly speak as there were too many things rocketing around in her head.

  Stan stopped at the front door, taking her cycle and locking it up then he came back as she stood there. He reached out and wiped a stray tear from her face before peering into her eyes.

  ‘I worry about you too, you know,’ he whispered. ‘I think the fact you dress like a kid probably shows you’re more of a vulnerable child than I thought.’ Stan shook his head. ‘Maddy, things happen for a reason.’

  ‘No, they don’t.’ She swallowed hard. ‘Bad things happen to good people, and good things happen to bad people. That’s the problem. It’s life’s cruel twist.’

  ‘What about him?’

  She was sat next to Phyllis in the pub, wearing her puppy suit and avoiding the chit chatter from the others. Stan was busy talking to someone, but she checked out that he was eyeing up a friend of Eugene’s. Maddy didn’t know what to think so decided to flick through an online dating website she had been toying with the idea of joining. ‘He’s good looking, don’t you think?’