by S M Mala
Giselle walked off, and she watched Stan eye her up and down.
‘Go and talk and have make up sex,’ she said, feeling instantly deflated when she looked at her dog suit. ‘It’s obvious you’re making her suffer for wanting to move in with you. And you’re acting in a mean way when you speak to her like you don’t care when you do. That’s just pants.’
‘Says she the guru of relationships!’ he laughed out and finished his ice-cream before wiping his mouth and hands on the napkin. ‘At least I never paid my ex to spend the day with me or their rent.’
‘That was weeks ago!’ She finished the ice cream and held the cone in her hand. ‘Anyway, why did you say ‘No!’ so loudly as if she insulted you?’
‘When?’
‘When she asked if we were together. Technically, we were together walking through the park. And why did she say, ‘all things considered,’ like it’s totally unlikely?’
‘You talk too much.’
‘And you’re up to no good. I can tell.’ She was about to throw the cone into the rubbish bin when he removed it from her hand. Stan started to eat it and looked at her from the corner of his eye. ‘I know a dodgy man when I see one.’
She headed off to rescue Phyllis from getting too much love and noticed Stan was following.
‘Hi girls, I’ve got to take my dog home,’ she said, putting the lead on and pulling Phyllis away, who seemed to enjoy the attention. Stan walked behind her, and she could see he was eyeing up some women. ‘If your tongue could hang out any further it would hit the ground. Bet you any money Giselle saw your pitiful performance. That poor girl. My heart bleeds for her!’
That wasn’t exactly true. Maddy was still smarting from the comment regarding the ‘all things considered’ which hit numerous nerves as an aftershock, not to mention Stan’s loud rebuff of being with Maddy.
As she glanced over her shoulder, he was looking at his phone then met her eye.
‘Good news,’ he said, jogging up to her. ‘I can move back home a week on Tuesday.’
It was a little shock, the plummeting feeling in Maddy’s gut when she heard the news.
‘Good! I get the place back to myself and can start entertaining suitors. And you can double bolt your door and keep me out, but we share Phyllis. I look after her better than you, and I need her.’
‘Then pay for half her vet bills,’ Stan replied matching her pace.
‘I’ll pay for all of them! Might as well spend my money on her than a man.’ Maddy stopped. ‘Stan, do you need me to lend you any money for the building work? I don’t want to see you out of pocket.’
‘I’m fine,’ he replied and moved closer. ‘I’ve got lots of work on, and it’s true, I have been offered some work at a national newspaper and website, so all is good. Things are looking up.’ Then he looked back into the park and at her.
‘Are you seeing if you wound up your ex enough?’ she asked.
Stan then grabbed the lead out of her hand and jogged off ahead with Phyllis.
Maddy stood there and watched.
She hated to admit it, but the idea of him moving out of her house didn’t thrill her one bit.
And the thought that he had an eye for the ladies and was still toying with Giselle thrilled her even less.
‘I!’
That’s all she could say. While hovering his room, she banged a box which fell onto the floor. Her chin dropped on seeing the contents. Something went under the bed, but she couldn’t get to it as she heard Stan move about downstairs.
‘What’s that?’ he asked, running up the stairs then stopped when he saw what had fallen. ‘Ah!’
‘Ah! Ah!’ she said, looking down and turning off the hoover, pointing to the pile. ‘Ah!’
‘That’s why they’re there, to make you go ah!’
‘You are so base!’
‘Don’t be such a prude!’ he laughed.
The box had revealed four sex toys. Two weird shaped vibrators, an egg and the smallest looking plastic penis with a ring at the end still in its packaging.
‘You do know what they are, don’t you?’ he asked looking at her as Maddy scowled back. ‘They’re toys to brighten up the bedroom.’
‘I thought that was down to having a nice duvet cover and blinds.’
‘I mean sex.’
‘I know what they are and what you mean. Why have you got them? You’re a man.’ Then she thought. ‘Oh, I see.’
‘What do you see?’
‘Nothing.’ Maddy quickly pulled the cord up for the hoover and scurried away, seeing him look at her with some confusion. ‘I’ll let you crack on.’
Then she thought about the egg and wondered where he put it before shuddering at the thought. Stan was laughing in the background, and the next thing she heard was him running behind her and towards his laptop.
Flicking the top open, he typed something and smiled at her all the time as he did.
Maddy pretended to dust the living room and walked behind him to see what he was typing. As she glanced over, he closed down the page and seemed to be looking at his emails.
She was seeing Stan in a new light and wasn’t quite sure what it meant.
Could be that he had some perverse tastes in the bedroom, not that Maddy could criticise. There was a well-used and loved vibrator hidden in her room for times of sexual frustration.
It had been heavily used over the past four weeks of having Stan parade around semi-naked in her home. She would time it when he went out to relieve her heightened libido, but him using the same things made her worry.
There might be something wrong with his penis.
Biting her lip, she knew what would come out of her mouth next. Then she decided to push it to the back of her mind.
‘Tea?’ she asked, washing her hands and putting the kettle on. ‘Or coffee? I’ve got more of those bullet things for the espresso machine to make some now.’
‘Tea, please,’ he asked, laughing at something he was typing.
‘Okay.’
Holding two cups, she walked to the table placing one down near him and sitting at the other end of the table, sipping it slowly. Every time he looked at her, she diverted her eyes and pretended she was examining somewhere else in the room. But when she looked back at him he was smiling.
‘I’m not a prude,’ she eventually said.
‘And here I thought I left you speechless.’
‘You gave me a shock as I never took you down for, you know.’ She sipped her tea.
‘For what?’ he asked, getting up to sit closer as she moved a little away. ‘You have thought about the vibrators?’
‘I have many thoughts,’ she replied, making eye contact. ‘Many.’
‘Like what?’ Stan was examining her face as he spoke. ‘Spit it out.’
‘People have likes and dislikes. It’s normal,’ she let out an uncomfortable laugh. ‘Roland, my last interlude, he was pretty funny. Did you know he likes wearing my underwear? Not the lace ones but the medium briefs that cover you up for winter. Then once, he wanted to do some role play. I had to be masterful and rough him up.’
‘And did you?’ he asked moving closer as she moved her head away.
‘I gave him a mighty hard slap on his backside because he had pissed me off that week.’ Maddy burst out laughing. ‘Goodness did he howl and told me I was mistreating him. Sulked all evening. Look at the size of my hand! What damage could it do?’ Stan held it in his, measuring the small size in his palm. ‘And he asked me to use a sex toy on his you know what.’
‘Anus.’
‘Yes!’ Maddy pulled her hand away. ‘I told him I wasn’t going to use Fred on him, so he could buy his own.’
‘Fred?’
She was going to say it was the name of her special silicone friend in the bedroom but refrained.
‘It’s my nickname for sex toys,’ Maddy replied, sipping her tea. ‘And then he asked me to buy one. I told him I had no idea what he wanted then he said something slim that vibr
ated.’ She shrugged. ‘I was stumped, but when he wants something, he wants it then and there. I ordered from Good Vibration, you know that sex store.’
‘I do know that online sex store.’
‘Do you buy from there?’
‘Carry on with your story,’ he said pushing a curl away from her face. ‘You ordered him a sex toy.’
‘I ordered two,’ she wickedly smiled, knowing exactly what happened next. ‘A big massive silicone cock and the small one. Anyway, when I bent him over, with me wearing disposable rubber gloves, I waited until he was ready and showed him the smaller vibrator before saying I changed my mind and pulled out the large one. Boy was it funny!’ Maddy roared with laughter recalling Roland’s face. ‘Then he said, ‘okay, but you’re going to have to spit on my hole before putting it in’. Well, that surprised me, so I shoved the small one so far up his arsehole, he had a good time. Then I left it there and went to watch television, so he had to pull it out. I knew that was the end of the road, somehow.’
Stan was laughing as he stared into her eyes, shaking his head.
‘You call your vibrator Fred?’ he asked, looking down at the ground then back at her. ‘Does it get much use?’
‘What a question to ask?’
‘Does it?’
Maddy folded her arms and moved away from him then realised he had a motive.
‘Is this turning you on, talking about sex toys?’ she asked, looking defiantly at him. ‘Do you like people to use them on you in the same part as Roland did or does?’
‘Some of them are Giselle’s, and she left them with me. She likes the added spice, so to speak.’
‘You said some of them.’
‘Yep.’
‘Do you have a small winky?’ she blurted out and noticed his eyes widened in surprise as she bent her little finger to demonstrate before he pushed her hand away. ‘You might have and could be compensating for your inadequacies.’
‘You’ve checked out the package more than enough times since I’ve been here, what do you think?’
‘What are you implying?’ she asked, seeing Stan had caught her. It was unavoidable considering he only ate breakfast in his hat and underpants. ‘I respect your space.’
‘That’s not what I meant. You like to observe.’
‘Are you saying I’ve been leering at you?’ Maddy felt her cheeks start to get hot. ‘Like some stalker pervert?’
‘No, that’s not what I meant,’ he said starting to laugh. ‘So, do you think my genitals are marginalised by being small?’
‘Are they?’
‘Seriously?’
‘I think it’s what you do with it that matters.’ Then she sat up straight and glared back at him. ‘So that Giselle gets off on kinky toys. That’s interesting.’
‘You don’t like her, do you?’
‘Pardon me?’
‘It shows in your eyes and the expressions you pull. Is that what you do to Ted? Eyeball someone as if you don’t trust them and he figures it out. You must like Stasia then as you’re sweet as pie around her.’
‘I do like Stasia and don’t insinuate I have ulterior motives when I don’t.’
‘You sure?’ Stan sat back and looked at her up and down. ‘Are Ted and Pearl protective when it comes to you?’
‘There’s nothing to be protective about. I can make my own choices, and a majority of them have been okay. Depends on what’s happening in my life.’ She stood up. ‘Why don’t you give the toys back to Giselle?’ Stan was still staring. ‘Unless you think she might want you to use them on her again. If that’s so, shouldn’t you wash them if they’ve been dropped on the floor?’
‘One of them is still packaged. Do you want it? The little one with the ring at the end.’
Maddy glared at him and took her cup away to wash it up.
‘They have an hour battery life, and when that’s gone, you throw it away and buy a new one. It was a replacement. Giselle said it was very good and compact.’
‘No thank you! I’m fine as I am.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I am sure,’ she replied, thinking she would have preferred to use the real thing attached to him, before trying to pull herself together.
The talk about sex toys was making her rather horny, but she put that down to the lack of recent sex.
‘At work, we get loads of this stuff sent to us. They want the writers to test run them with a man’s perspective.’
‘And what’s your perspective on this?’
‘If it keeps someone happy in the sack I’m all for it. What’s yours?’
‘I agree, but I prefer the real thing.’
Then Maddy had to run to her room and shut the door to stem her dirty thoughts about doing unmentionable things to Stanley Franks.
He would have seen that in her eyes as well as the expression on her face.
‘It’s hard.’
Maddy was sitting with Dora at the hospice in the recreational area because Linda had to take Liam to a hospital appointment. The pair were drinking hot chocolate while huddled in a corner. ‘He moves out a week today, and I don’t know what to do.’
‘I can tell he likes you,’ Dora said, with a sweet smile. ‘And it’s really obvious you like him.’
‘It is not!’
‘Maddy, you look at him as if you’re going to break out into a song, probably ‘The look of love’ which is on your face.’
‘The song says it’s in your eyes.’
‘You have both.’ She laughed as Maddy frowned then examined her friend.
Her skin colour was a little pallid, and she seemed weaker, though was walking happily around with the aid of a crutch. Maddy wanted to ask Linda if Dora was all right but realised then she would be the one fussing and that would agitate everyone.
So, she looked at the pretty young girl, soon to turn into a teenager that Friday, then smiled.
‘Why don’t you tell him you like him and would love to go out. You’ve got nothing to lose.’
‘My pride,’ sighed Maddy, sipping her drink. ‘His ex-girlfriend was in the park on Sunday, and she is good looking with those muscle abs that people go on about. Why’s he going to look at me when he could have her? Stan’s fun to be with. He’s very lucky that Phyllis is his pet and we get on.’ She put her head in her hands. ‘And I’m always thinking about him even when he’s there. It’s quite odd.’
‘It’s called love.’
‘It most certainly isn’t!’ she said with total alarm and glared at Dora. ‘That’s too full on.’
‘Why is it full on? Why can’t you be in love with Stan?’
‘For many reasons.’
‘Like what?’
Maddy thought hard for a moment and couldn’t find an answer.
‘Your party is all ready to go. I will turn up at ten in the morning, and the people with the marquis will erect it. All the food is going to turn up half an hour later, and your mum is sorting out the cake. Is there anything else missing off the list?’ She asked and noticed Dora looked away. There was a sad expression Maddy had never seen before. ‘You still want a party? Have I left something out? What can I do to sort it?’
Dora then turned to Maddy, her eyes filled with tears which made Maddy’s eyes do the same.
‘You are such a good friend to me, do you know that?’ Dora whispered, taking her hand. ‘You’ve made me laugh, and we’ve had so much fun together. I know you wear the spotted clothes because I told you I liked them.’
‘I like them too,’ she said, leaning closer and stroking her hair. ‘What’s going on? You and your mum aren’t telling me something, and it makes me worry.’
‘I’m not getting any better,’ she said, holding Maddy’s hand. ‘Sometimes I haven’t got the energy to get out of bed or breath. It’s getting harder.’
‘Medicine is an amazing thing and they are finding new cures every day.’
‘Are you listening to me?’ Dora’s eyes widened, and the dark brown retinas looked black. �
��Do you know what I’m saying?’
Maddy couldn’t speak because she did know.
All she did was close her eyes and think hard. The immediate wave of nausea hit her throat as she didn’t want even to contemplate what was being said. She felt sick to her stomach then opened her eyes.
‘Don’t be scared,’ Dora said, touching her face. ‘You can’t be. I’m not, and you need to focus on doing good things here and for the hospice. Make other people happy as you’ve made me.’
‘I don’t like what you’re saying,’ she eventually mumbled. ‘We don’t give up. That’s not what we do.’
‘I’m not giving up Maddy,’ Dora said in her sweet voice. ‘I’m just accepting. That’s all I ask of you. To accept that I’m not going to live forever, okay?’
But Maddy knew she couldn’t do that one thing her friend had asked.
‘Slow down!’
Maddy ran as fast as she could when they were in the park as Stan chased her. All that was going on in her head is what Dora said that morning, and she was too upset to even think about it. ‘You’re not doing a sprint!’
‘I need to do this then I have to sort out everything for Friday!’ she shouted back. ‘The party needs to go without a hitch. It must be perfect!’
‘Madeline!’ he said, and she felt him tug at her arm as she stopped and fell backward into his arms. ‘What is wrong with you?’
‘Life!’ she snapped back. ‘Life is wrong! It’s unfair and cruel!’
‘Okay,’ he said, and she watched him frown. ‘Other than that, you’re fine?’
‘Fine as can be!’
‘Why are you shouting?’
‘I don’t know!’
Then she threw herself onto the ground, face forward. Phyllis was trying to lick the side of her face as she lay there. Maddy felt hopeless and helpless.
‘Do you want to continue your training?’ he whispered in her ear. ‘This only proves to me that you are barking mad, do you know that?’
‘I don’t care,’ she replied, putting her hand to stroke Phyllis but managing to get Stan’s head instead. Maddy turned to look at him. ‘I’m mulling something over.’
‘Who upset you today?’