by S M Mala
‘No-one.’
‘I thought you had a nice morning with Dora.’
‘I did. Help me up.’
Stan pulled her up by the arm as she stood aimlessly looking across the park. He wasn’t smiling and seemed puzzled.
‘I just want everything to be okay, that’s all. I’m not asking for much, I don’t think.’ Maddy brushed off the stray grass from her hooded top and trousers. ‘Then it’s not, and I’m stuck on what to do. Maybe I’m not very good in a crisis though I did rescue an old lady from being eaten by a dustbin truck.’
‘How come?’
‘Her husband chucked something out, a pair of wellingtons. So, she furiously dived into the back, and I had a pull her out. She was pissed off at me, but I told her she could have died. The woman told me she was going to kill her husband, so I took her to the shops and got her a new pair of wellington boots. That seemed to sort it all out. She lived to tell the tale, and so did he, thank goodness.’
‘Madeleine Berkeley, you are a wonder, do you know that?’
‘Yeah, well, I better start jogging.’ And off she started but with less vigour. ‘You know it’s going to be hot on Sunday.’
‘For May? I doubt it,’ he replied, keeping up with her.
‘Which means I’m going to swelter.’
‘I’ll throw water at you to make sure you don’t dehydrate.’
‘Gee, thanks.’ Maddy stopped running and decided to walk. ‘How long will it take?’
’55 to 70 minutes.’ Stan grinned. ‘But I think 100 minutes given your pace.’
‘What! That long! You can run off ahead, and I’ll see how I go.’
‘You’re going to stop, I know you will. I expect you’ll find a short cut.’
‘Do you think there will be one?’ she asked, eagerly watching him smile. ‘Stan, you smile much more than I thought you ever could. When I first met you, I thought you had bad teeth so avoided pleasantries, but you have nice teeth.’
‘I didn’t smile because you were full on with your questions and I was interrogated. It’s quite grating, but in a nice way.’
‘Why then say you didn’t smile because of my inquisitive nature?’
‘Because you take some getting used to.’
Maddy looked down at the grass and thought about if her friends thought the same.
It was then she whispered Dora’s name and felt upset. The last thing she would ever want to do was to grate on her nerves.
‘Am I irritating?’ Maddy asked, stopping Stan from running. ‘Is that why people act the way they do towards me like I’m some fool.’
‘You’re an acquired taste, and once you experience it properly, it’s quite nice.’
‘Quite nice?’ She shook her head. ‘Do you think that’s why I was bullied at school? I should think about becoming a more serious person when I turn thirty and less irritating.’
‘I can’t answer for school as I know it left marks,’ he replied, his face getting serious. ‘Just stay like you, and all will be fine.’
‘But I don’t think it will be,’ she said thinking about Dora and Pearl. ‘And that’s the problem.’
‘But I like her.’
Maddy was sat in Ted’s flat eating dinner the day before Dora’s party. ‘Why split up? You want to fiddle with other women?’
‘She doesn’t trust me, and that’s a problem. You know I don’t cheat on anyone, but I need someone to see that, not think I would.’
‘Stan said Stasia’s last boyfriend wasn’t too nice so maybe that’s why she’s worried.’ Maddy looked at her goat cheese and onion marmalade tartelette with salad. ‘You bought this, didn’t you?’
‘I was in a rush, and I know you like this combination,’ he replied sitting back down opposite her at the large glass dining table. ‘Maddy, she’s not the one for me.’
‘Can’t you make her the one? Just for me?’ she sweetly asked, eating her salad. ‘You’ve gone out with some very unsuitable women, and she’s a goddess compared to them.’
‘Madeleine, you hardly like any of my girlfriends, and you have mainly been right.’ Ted smiled as he sipped his wine. ‘Is this about Stasia Franks or something else?’
‘Like what?’ she replied, cutting her food and chewing slowly. ‘This is good, isn’t it?’
‘Phyllis and her pet?’ he asked with a wry smile. ‘I keep hearing you and Stan are hanging out a lot together. Is there something you want to tell me?’
‘No!’ Maddy wiped her mouth with the napkin. ‘He’s training me for the run, and we take Phyllis out for walks, so there’s nothing to say.’ She examined her plate.
‘Look at me.’ Tilting her head, Ted stared straight at her. ‘You like him, don’t you?’
‘Like I like you.’
‘No, you don’t like him like you like me. You like him differently. If only Dusty Springfield were playing in the background, she would sum it up. ‘The look of love.’’
‘I am not in love with Stanley Franks!’ she replied, throwing down her fork in objection. ‘I like him very much, and we get on. It’s like gaining another friend, but now you’re dumping Stasia, I’ll lose him too! Not to mention Phyllis! You’ll have to strike up a deal, so I get to see her.’
‘Oh my God!’ exclaimed Ted before laughing out loudly. ‘You’re in love with Stan, and you don’t even know it! Puppy love, literally!’
Maddy’s heart started to race fast, and she held her breath, shaking her head in response.
‘Tell me how you feel. Go on,’ he said, moving closer. ‘Everything.’
‘I’ve liked him since we first met, and I think we get on. He’s funny and makes me laugh. I love his dog, that bit is true. His eyes are a beautiful green hazel colour, and he has lovely hair which is usually covered in a hat.’ Maddy frowned. ‘That doesn’t mean anything.’
‘And what happens when you see him?’
‘I feel happy, which is a good thing, as he is living under my roof.’
‘Anything else?’
‘His physique is pleasing.’ She could see Ted was going to roar with laughter. ‘He does look good semi-naked.’
‘Any sexual thoughts?’ he whispered.
‘Oh, Ted! Too many but that’s because I’ve not had sex for weeks!’
‘Do you think he knows?’ Ted smiled. ‘Even looking at you, right now, he’s bound to see it in your eyes. But Stasia said her brother isn’t fast on the uptake, and he might not realise. I wonder if he has mentioned it in his column.’
‘He wouldn’t, would he?’ Then Maddy’s blood ran cold. ‘That could be why people keep looking at me when we’re together on a Sunday. He might have said something! Shit! What if he does know?’
‘Eat your food before it gets cold.’
She chewed slowly and thought hard about Ted’s comment then started to smile.
Stan was coming to Dora’s party tomorrow, and she wondered, just wondered if it was the start of something. Her heart suddenly sunk when she thought about the birthday girl and looked up at Ted.
‘What’s wrong?’ he whispered. ‘Maddy?’
‘Dora told me yesterday that I have to accept she’s not going to live forever because...’ Immediately she stopped eating. ‘She says it’s getting harder.’
‘Oh, Maddy.’ Ted gently touched her arm. ‘You knew this was going to happen.’
‘No, I didn’t. Not to Dora. She’s getting better, I can tell.’
‘People with cystic fibrosis, based on current statistics, can survive longer than 41 years but some don’t. And it’s not about age, just their health.’
‘Please don’t tell me any more,’ she said, on the verge of tears. ‘I don’t want to know.’
‘You are going to have to face it sooner or later. It’s hard, I know, but she needs your strength, not your worry. Her mother is probably worried enough about everyone.’
‘Ted.’ That’s all she could say before bursting into tears. ‘I don’t want her to die. Not Dora.’
‘But it’s life a
nd these things happen, whether we like it or not.’
‘She told you, didn’t she?’
Linda watched Maddy hang the bunting up a ladder while Dora slept. ‘Maddy, she wanted to let you know.’
Turning to look at her, Maddy didn’t know what to say so thought hard while examining the beautifully decorated marquee and the tables laid out.
It was perfect.
‘This has to be her best party ever. I can’t let anything go wrong, and we have to make her so happy that we don’t think about anything else.’
‘I know how hard it was for her to tell me and she was worried about your reaction,’ Linda gently said.
‘And the cake looks good?’ she asked, ignoring what was said. ‘The food is going to be amazing and-.’
‘Maddy, are you listening to me?’
‘I am. I heard you and what she told me but today I don’t want to think about it. Today is for laughter and joy, that’s all.’
Linda looked painfully at her, seeing that she didn’t want to say anymore.
‘If you want to talk about it, you know where I am,’ Linda said, walking back to the house. ‘I want to talk about it, but like you, I feel sick with worry and hurt each time I do.’
‘Linda!’ shouted out Maddy making the woman stop and turn. ‘I need to process it, that’s all.’
‘I know, I know.’
As she looked up at the house, she saw Dora peek at her behind the curtains before stepping away.
‘This is going to be a wonderful day,’ she said, looking up at the clear blue sky. ‘Simply wonderful.’
But that didn’t stop the pin prick of tears stabbing at her eyes and the feeling of despair. It was like over eating a meal that left a hard pain in her gut. It was a bad sign as she knew it was her body reacting to terrible news or horrible situations.
Immediately she thought of Ted, Pearl, and her parents, knowing if she fell at this hurdle and succumbed to the feeling again, it would hurt them more than it would hurt her. Maddy breathed in deeply and pushed it out of her head.
She was in control.
Throwing up to alleviate the hurt and pain would not help, it could only ever make her sick.
And vomiting was not an option.
‘You look beautiful.’
Dora stood at the bottom of the stairs after being helped by her mum. Maddy held her breath at the simple and demure spotted dress then smiled. ‘Happy birthday!’ She hugged her tightly and felt her petite and fragile body in her arms. ‘I want it to be a perfect day.’
‘It will be,’ Dora said, stepping back. ‘You and all my friends are here, so that makes it perfect.’
Linda flashed Maddy a glance that betrayed her worry then smiled.
‘Let the party girl meet the guests!’
She walked behind the pair, seeing Dora trying her hardest to walk unaided by her mother. In the warm light of the afternoon, Maddy could see the frailty in her dearest friend.
‘I have to be strong,’ she whispered to herself again and again. ‘For Dora. Everything’s for Dora. It has got to be a perfect day. The best day ever.’
And it was.
To make sure that it was a day to remember, Maddy had spent a little more than Linda advised on the catering, entertainment, and the DJ. The kids were having a great time, and so were the adults. Champagne and non-alcoholic cocktails were served throughout the afternoon, and it was like the Mad Hatter’s tea party, Dora being Alice.
When Jerome turned up, Dora’s eyes lit up, and there was no doubt it was young love.
What all Maddy did was sigh and when the young couple danced together to the sound of ‘The look of love,’ tears sprung to Maddy’s eyes as she hid from the crowd, watching them churlishly giggle and act embarrassed.
‘Why are you hiding?’ asked Stan, making her jump. ‘And crying?’ She turned to look at him. He was clean-shaven and looking smart, though he had one of his posher hats on. ‘I dressed Phyllis for the occasion.’
The dog had a spotted bow in her hair making Maddy laugh as she wiped her tears away.
‘That’s wonderful!’ she said, clapping her hands and bending down to cuddle the pooch. ‘You look beautiful too.’
Within seconds Phyllis sauntered into the party and was mobbed by both child and adult alike.
But Maddy couldn’t move. All she wanted to do was spy on the young couple, looking at each other, unable to wipe the grins off their faces. And Maddy couldn’t help but feel upset as if an opportunity was taken away from them.
‘Maddy?’ Stan whispered, standing behind her then touched her shoulder. ‘Dora would be really upset to see you with that look in your eye.’
‘I can’t help it.’
‘Then be brave for her.’
‘She doesn’t want me to lie about how I feel so it doesn’t matter.’
‘But others will know, and the last thing you want is for people to see that she’s not getting better. Maddy, please?’
Turning around, she buried her head in his chest and breathed hard, knowing the tears were falling as he wrapped his arms around her. They stood there for a while as she thought hard about pulling herself together.
‘First love, puppy love,’ he said with a sigh. ‘It’s magical, and it even happens to people of all ages.’
She stepped back and wiped her face before putting on a smile and noticed Stan grimace.
‘You look quite scary with your current expression and a little crazy,’ he said, starting to laugh. Stan wiped her stray tears away. ‘But always lovely.’
‘You're nice because you don’t want me to start getting hysterical.’
‘Do you get hysterical?’
‘No,’ she replied, shaking her head from side to side. ‘I hold it all in to make sure I can deal with it.’
‘Isn’t that rather unhealthy?’
‘I don’t know. Sometimes it’s hard to let the hurt go, so you have to contain it.’ Maddy smiled at him seeing he looked at her as if trying to figure something out. ‘It goes to another part of your body and eventually fades.’
Stan grabbed her hand and took her to where everyone was dancing. She glanced over at the young love birds and grinned as he grabbed her closer.
‘It’s so sweet,’ she said, peeking at Dora and Jerome. ‘That’s how love should be.’
‘So, it’s not about chucking loose change into a pond?’ he said before laughing. Maddy looked up at him. ‘It’s about finding someone and knowing it’s special.’
‘That’s if they think so too,’ replied Maddy, wondering if Stan had any idea of how she felt about him. ‘And sometimes they don’t know which is pretty sad.’
‘True love hits you when you least expect it.’ And he then stared at her for a moment. ‘Because when it does you’re not quite sure, which makes it confusing.’
‘If you have a strong feeling about someone then you know, don’t you?’
‘I’m not sure,’ he said diverting his eyes and looking at Dora. ‘I hope she enjoys the moment.’
‘I hope so too.’
She felt deflated knowing he was thinking about his buff woman with the rock-hard abs and tight arse. He must have been missing her, and now he was hanging out at teenager’s party. Maddy’s cheeks felt hot at the thought he was hanging out with her.
‘What’s wrong?’ he asked, a wry smile appearing on his lips.
‘You’re kind to bring Phyllis. You don’t have to stay long. I know you’ve got things to do and-.’
‘I like being here and thanks for asking me.’
‘That’s okay. You’re my lodger, so I have to be a nice landlady.’
He laughed at her comment then the tunes changed to something more upbeat, and Maddy watched him dance, which made her smile. Then he went up to Dora and spun her gently around.
Jerome looked a little peeved as Maddy discreetly shook her head from side to side. Stan was causing a wave of jealousy in the young teenager, knowing exactly what he was doing.
T
he rest of the afternoon and evening went smoothly.
The only problem was that Maddy couldn’t tear her eyes away from Dora, watching to see if she was having fun. Plus, there was the added distraction of Stan flirting with everyone and Phyllis taking center stage.
When the cake arrived, red with white spots, everyone gasped because Maddy made sure there was a small sugar icing model of Dora on top. She lit the candles and watched Linda proudly stand next to her daughter as they sang ‘Happy Birthday’ and laughed.
But as she watched Dora’s mum, you could see the sadness in her eyes and Liam looked at Maddy. It gave so much away without saying anything.
It might be the last time Dora had birthday cake, and Maddy felt shaky then something touched her back. Stan was standing at her side and discreetly wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling Maddy closer.
‘Think of good things, not bad,’ he whispered. ‘You never know what the future might hold.’
Right now, Maddy wished she could hold Dora’s future secure forever.
That’s all she wanted.
‘Why an audience?’
Maddy was furious when she saw Ted and Stasia sitting on the bench in the park. ‘I need to focus not be laughed at.’
‘My little angel, I want to see you run,’ smirked Ted, standing up and walking towards her. ‘And Stan said it would be an eye-opener.’
‘Eye-opener?’
‘He said he has never seen anyone run so slowly in his life.’ Ted burst out laughing and gave her a massive hug. ‘You’ll be fine tomorrow.’
‘I should be resting, but he made me come here.’ Maddy glanced over at Stan who was throwing a ball for Phyllis to catch. ‘And Stasia? I thought you’d know your brother wanted to use me to laugh at.’
‘You know he used to run cross country?’
Maddy’s mouth dropped open as the man in question went to his sister and kissed her on the cheek before shaking Ted’s hand.
‘Cross country?’ She shook her head furiously. ‘You didn’t tell me that, did you?’
‘Would it have made any difference? I wanted them to urge you to do well tomorrow. It’s very important that she finishes it. I’m going to be her pace runner.’