by S M Mala
Ted burst out laughing and put his hand on Maddy’s shoulder which she shrugged off.
‘I can see it’s pissing her off. We’ll go for brunch, and you can carry on with the training. We’ll be there tomorrow, egging you on.’
‘Why?’ Maddy grimaced knowing it would only bring them much joy. ‘I want to do it in private.’
‘What? Run with a tent around you?’ asked Stan starting to smile.
‘Why can’t I?’
‘I’ll leave you to it,’ replied Ted, walking off with Stasia. ‘I’ll speak to you later.’
Maddy glared at Stan who was still smiling.
‘I don’t know you, do I?’ she grumbled. ‘I tell you everything and you tell me so little.’
‘Because you’re busy chatting and laughing all time. When can I speak?’
‘You’re not nice.’
‘Put this on.’ He flung a large hooded top at her. ‘It’s the heaviest one I’ve got so you need to acclimatise.’
‘Acclimatise?’
‘You’re running in the dog suit, aren’t you?’ Stan stepped forward to push and prod her into putting it on. ‘You need a few laps of this in the park, and then you’ll see how hot you’re going to get. I will bring along a spray in my rucksack to revive you.’
‘I won’t need revival, and I can put it in my rucksack.’ Maddy pulled up the sleeves, and Stan tugged up the hood, tying it firmly around her chin. ‘This is heavier than the puppy coat.’ He then looked at her with a little smile. ‘What are you thinking?’
‘Nothing. Now come and run.’
Ten minutes later she was lying on the grass, sweating profusely and trying to catch her breath. Stan was looking down at her, laughing.
‘That’s as far as you can go? Maddy, you know it’s going to take you an hour at this rate?’
‘This is too heavy, and it’s hot!’
‘Madeleine.’ Stan slumped to the ground. ‘You have to do your guys proud.’
‘I’m going to raise hundreds and hundreds of pounds.’ Then she had a thought and sat up. ‘Do you think I can find a shortcut?’
‘Really? You want to cheat?’
‘I want to get the money without suffering a heart attack.’ She closed her eyes before collapsing back onto the grass. ‘Which is imminent.’
The next thing she felt was Stan pressing up against her side. Immediately opening her eyes, he was grinning.
‘What?’ she asked, smiling at his face then realised he was plotting something.
‘Yesterday when you were looking at Dora and Jerome dancing, there was such hope in your eyes and pain.’
‘Happiness, it’s called.’
‘No, just the pain of worry. Maddy, I spoke to Linda yesterday, and she told me that Dora isn’t getting better. They’re worried that-.’
‘No!’ Maddy snapped, putting her hand to his mouth. ‘Don’t say any more, okay? She’s going to be fine. I’m going to make sure of that. Nothing is going to happen to Dora. They're just a little negative, that’s all.’
Stan closed his eyes and touched her hand with his fingers, which were still stuck to his lips.
‘Please Stan, for me, don’t make me think sad things, not today or any day. I don’t like it.’
Slowly he removed her hand and rested it back on her chest. There was no hint of a smile. This time concern was etched on his face as he stared at her.
‘I won’t say anything,’ he whispered, pushing the hood away from her face. ‘I worry about you and that little happy world you live in. You know one day something will happen, and you won’t be able to block bad things out. Maddy, life is complicated and not always works out how you want it to be.’
‘Hope. You have to have hope and think positive. Try and find the solution. If you let people or things get you down, then that’s wrong.’
‘I can see why Ted and Pearl worry about you.’
‘That’s not true. I worry about them. I’m always making sure they’re okay, but they seem to think they’re doing it for me.’ Again, Stan started to laugh at her then got to his feet, pulling her up by the arm. ‘You say that I live in this little world of giggles, but you have to admit that I make you laugh, don’t I?’
‘You do,’ he said loosening the bow under her neck. ‘You make me smile all the time.’
‘Then that’s a good thing.’
‘It’s a sweet thing.’ Stan stared into her eyes. ‘You’re not that bad, are you?’
‘You think I am?’ Maddy smiled, feeling her heart beat fast, then notice he shook his head and turned away. ‘Something wrong?’
‘Let’s run!’
And on that note, he sprinted away at top speed, but Maddy didn’t move.
She had felt something when he looked into her eyes and Maddy knew what it was.
Her breath had left her body because she thought for a fleeting moment he looked like he was going to kiss her.
Now Stan seemed to be running away for his dear life.
Maddy wondered if he thought she was that bad after all.
‘I see.’
Maddy was holding the phone close to her ear and trying her hardest to focus while staring out her bedroom window. ‘Is it my fault? Did I tire her out with the party? Linda, I’m so sorry, but she looked like she was fine and-.’
‘Maddy, it was a wonderful party, and it’s not that,’ Linda gently replied, her voice lowered. ‘She gets tired, and I know she wanted to see you run today. I’m stopping her from leaving the house.’
‘She has to get better,’ Maddy said and noticed Stan was looking at her from the doorway. ‘I will make a film of me running, and then I’ll send it over. It’s going to be like a documentary of my time doing the fun run.’ She grimaced on saying it. ‘Send her my love and tell her I’ll visit this week.’
‘I will and good luck. You’re making us all proud.’
Maddy hung up and mumbled to herself, ‘I’m not doing anything that’s making a difference right now.’
‘Madeleine,’ Stan said walking in and looking at her up and down. ‘You’re running in your underwear?’ He then sat on the bed. ‘You look like a cherub with boobs.’
‘What?’ she said, distracted. ‘How can a cherub have boobs? They’re fat little angels.’ Then her thoughts darkened. ‘Are you implying something about my body shape?’
She remembered Giselle and her rock sold abs before looking down at the rounder version which was her tummy.
‘Just making an observation?’ she mumbled then noticed the smirk on his lips. ‘That’s not nice. You’re making me feel inadequate. They used to tease me at school about my podgy body.’ She remembered feeling so self-conscious and desperately wanted to cover herself up. ‘Just keep your thoughts to yourself.’
‘I wasn't mean.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘What’s up, anyway?’
‘Dora’s not well so can’t come and watch today.’
‘Then let her stay at home, and you can make your short feature of being a top-class athlete.’
‘Don’t mock!’
‘Don’t worry.’
‘How can I not? You and Linda are speaking to me as if I don’t get that the child is sick. I know!’ Maddy raised her voice then flung her arms in the air, seeing Stan frown in response. ‘I’ve seen it with my own eyes, and I can feel it in my bones!’
‘We have to leave in ten minutes.’ He got up and walked out the bedroom. ‘Put your clothes on.’
‘What’s the point of doing anything when it’s not going to turn out how I want it to be?’ She marched to her wardrobe and pulled the puppy suit off the hanger. ‘How can I fix the world?’
‘Is that what you think you’re doing?’ Stan walked back into the room. ‘Fixing things?’
‘Making it better.’
‘Bloody hell, barking Maddy, you’re not a saint! You’re a human being! You can’t stop things from happening. It’s called life, and this is what it’s about. Pain and gore. All the amount
of spotted clothing and bows can’t change that!’
It was the first time she had seen him angry, and it was at her.
‘It can make people smile,’ she whispered.
‘Why?’ he said, marching up to her and holding onto her arms. ‘Smiling? Laughing? Can that make someone sick better? Will that be the magic potion for an enduring life? Get real. That’s not how it works.’
‘Being positive helps.’
‘It’s all bullshit! You’re bullshit.’ He shoved her a little. ‘Total, total bullshit.’
‘Don’t you dare push me around!’ she snapped at him. ‘You can’t see the good in people, only the bad.’
‘I see the truth,’ Stan replied, bending down to look into her eyes. ‘And you can’t and won’t see it. That makes me worry about you.’
Putting on her costume, she marched out the room and down the stairs as he followed. The place felt empty because Stasia was looking after Phyllis while they did the fun run.
‘How can you do your job?’ he continued. ‘You go into their homes and to the hospice. You see these kids who are ill and watch them die. Then you tell me you need to be positive and have hope. Maddy, it’s debilitating enough to watch, but still, you have a happy spin on it, but I know the truth. I see it in your eyes, the total loss on what to do.’
Not wanting to argue or let her concern take over, she put on her trainers and then checked her rucksack before making sure her phone was fully charging.
‘Don’t run with me,’ she said, glaring at his furious expression. ‘You don’t care about the kids, and I don’t want your negative vibes about my personal space. You know what the problem is with you? You’ve lost some of your heart.’
Stan shook his head and then shrugged his shoulders.
‘Good, because I didn’t want to do the stupid run. I was only nice because you let me stay here. I’m moving out on Tuesday you’ll be pleased to know, so you get your space back.’
‘What? That’s not what I meant.’ Maddy’s heart was beating fast. ‘I thought you’d be here another week.’
‘I don’t think I can last that long,’ he mumbled then turned to run up the stairs.
All of a sudden everything looked bleak.
She’d not felt like that in years and was at a loss on what to say or do.
‘Oh,’ she whispered and walked out the house.
Not sure why she was feeling teary, Maddy pounded the pavement and headed for the large park where it was taking place. There were nearly one hundred people, and she looked up at the sunny sky and knew there was a good chance she would indeed melt.
Then she saw all the people on the sidelines waiting to see them jog around the park again and again. Her eyes met Jerome’s, and he smiled then waved. She nodded in response while looking at the familiar young faces with their loved ones.
Maddy wondered if they would still be lining up to watch in a year’s time and who would be missing. There was one person she needed to speak to.
‘Dora, I know you’re feeling tired and can’t answer the phone, but I’m thinking of you. I might come out half the size I am now, after running this race due to dehydration, but I’m doing it for you and the guys. Wish me luck!’
The numbers were placed on her back and front, and she looked around, unable to see any of her friends at the start line.
And it was the first time in ages Maddy had felt truly alone and disjointed from everyone else.
It was as if there was no-one backing her corner, or even being supportive. Had Dora been there, she wouldn’t be feeling like that, but she knew it was based on worry. All she had to do was focus.
Stan came into her head, and she wondered why he suddenly got angry. But her heart sank knowing he was moving out. Her feelings about him not being around alarmed her even more.
She didn’t want Phyllis to go and equally as important, she didn’t want Stan to leave either.
You see, she loved them both.
‘I’ve just started, and it’s hot.’
Maddy was holding her camera and filmed as she ran. Everyone was sprinting past her. ‘It might be long and arduous, but I’m going to do it.’
She was admittedly going very slowly, knowing the costume would start to get hot. And the sun was very strong for the first Sunday in May.
‘Must be a heatwave,’ she mumbled, still not seeing anyone she recognised to egg her on.
The reality that she didn’t have many friends only made her resilient to make sure the Ted groupies were going to be made to feel guilty. That’s why they probably donated the money so that she wouldn’t turn up in the pub after lunch.
Or they were hoping she’d fail and then wouldn’t be able to show her face again.
‘I’ll show them! I’ll show everyone!’
Maddy ran. Not very fast but a pleasant enough jog so she could take it all in.
There were stalls and stands scattered about in the park and names of various charities were all over the place. People were queuing for burgers and food. She spotted a tent with local ales. Everyone seemed happy, and that made her smile.
Her eyes were suddenly drawn to Phyllis, running around like a mental puppy, as Ted and Stasia laughed.
‘I’m right about being happy and thinking positive,’ she said, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small purse. ‘It makes things better.’
There was a van selling ice creams, so she ran off the path and got one before starting her slow jog.
The next thing, she dropped the ice cream as her arm was yanked and pulled at top speed.
‘What!’ she said, looking back at the mound on the ground. ‘That was my treat!’
‘You have to run!’ Stan said, pulling her along as she tried to get her arm out of his grip. ‘At this rate, you’ll be here in five hours’ time. Why get a treat when you’ve only done ten minutes?’
‘Get off!’ she said, trying not to run but he wasn’t letting go. ‘You’re not a nice person!’
‘I’m an incredibly lovely person, and don’t you know it.’ Then he grabbed the side of her hood and pulled her along, slowing down so she’d keep up. ‘And this is how I’m going to get you through it.’
‘You were in a right mood this morning! Shouting at me for no reason. I don’t deserve that!’
‘Irritating! Bloody irritating,’ he said, pulling her along. ‘And you didn’t do any stretches.’
‘I’m going to film you manhandling me and then see what all your fancy friends say. Not only will I report you to the police but the RSPCA!’ she snapped, realising he was going actually to make her run. ‘Stanley! Will you stop pulling me?’
‘This is a fun run, and you’re going to run, not walk.’ He laughed when he looked at her. ‘Madeleine, you’re never going to make it. I knew you’d be last.’
‘I’ll show you! I have a plan!’ She slapped his hand off and started to run, only to find he had grabbed her tail, taking it out of the Velcro strap. ‘Don’t you rip it!’
‘Barking, you’re not exactly going fast enough for that to happen,’ he said, jogging beside her. ‘Why have you got a rucksack?’
‘For my water and supplies.’
‘It’s only five kilometers in a park.’
‘There are some dangerously hidden terrains in the park, like the woods.’
‘People go there for a secret shag! Nothing dangerous there other than getting stung by nettles when you’ve got your pants down.’
‘I see you’ve partaken in the area,’ she replied, putting her nose up in the air. ‘So common!’
‘I forget you’re little miss goody two shoes who pays men for a shag.’
‘That’s not true all of the time!’ Maddy then looked at his smiling face. ‘Why were you mean to me this morning? What did I do? Why the rush to move out? Am I that annoying?’
‘Questions, questions, questions,’ he sighed and grinned at the people rushing past them. ‘I need to find my space again.’
‘You’re sick of me
,’ she added and knew that was more to the point. ‘I get it. That’s why I live alone. It’s my destiny.’
‘You talk shit, do you know that?’
‘How dare you!’ Maddy tried to run away, but he kept up. ‘And what’s got into you today? Love life is getting complicated.’ He shot her a look which she couldn’t quite fathom. ‘Has it?’
Right then she didn’t want to know. Something was squeezing so hard in her chest realising that he might be up to something with someone else. Maddy glanced down at her suit knowing it hid the chubby cherub body with boobs as he had so kindly pointed out that morning.
‘I’m just a bit confused right now,’ he said, taking off his baseball hat and running his fingers through his hair. ‘It’s like you think something and then something else comes out of the blue, and you think something else.’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about other than you think something,’ she replied, seeing his confused expression. ‘Can you be nice to me from now on? I am Phyllis’s other parent, and we should try and get on for her sake.’
Stan stopped jogging and burst out laughing, making her stop because he was pulling at her tail.
‘You don’t give up, do you?’ he said, stepping closer. ‘You’re going to wear me down until I have no choice but to accept you as her mother.’
‘That’s the plan,’ she cheekily replied and watched more people pass them which made her frown. ‘I have to complete this in good time so I can go and have some wine in the pub. Today I fancy fish goujons and chips. Then you can buy me an ice-cream as a replacement for knocking one out of my hand.’
‘Let’s run then!’
She jogged beside him and put in a good effort for the next half an hour before starting to feel the heat of the suit, and the sun against the cloth. Stan looked cool and removed his hoodie to reveal a thin t-shirt.
‘Don’t you ever sweat?’ she asked, pulling a face at his fresh demeanour.
‘Only when I do one thing,’ he replied with a smirk.
‘Have a poo?’ Maddy knew what he was talking about and noticed he laughed again then ran a little ahead.
There were lots of onlookers all cheering them on, but she was sweating profusely and didn’t think she’d make it.