by Jessica M.
Ending our call without a response from Don, it took a minute for me to get past the fact that he actually had his own place away from my sister already.
Not bothering to change my clothes, I ran in the bathroom to handle my hygiene again to be sure I had fresh breath while talking to Don. Running my hands down each side of my bob, I grabbed my phone and purse from off my bed and headed out my bedroom. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I peeped in at Karmen who had fallen asleep. I was sure she was mentally exhausted, but I think it was more of the drinking that was the issue. Instead of her settling her issues, she turned to the bottle.
Taking one last glance at Karmen, I grabbed my car keys and headed to Duncan to talk to Don. Getting in my ride, I checked my text messages for Don’s location. The GPS said it would take twenty-two minutes, but the way I drove I’d probably be there in fifteen. My parents always complained about my fast driving.
Backing out from the driveway, I rode down the street taking in the big houses, nice yards, and the families I saw through the windows that of course had no sheers or curtains. Snickering to myself, for the life of me I didn’t understand how the hell white people lived in their houses with nothing to cover their windows. It amazed me from the outside looking in, they looked happy. I never understood how happiness could be a front until I moved in with my sister and Adonis.
In exactly seventeen minutes, my GPS stated your location is on the right.
Pulling in behind Don’s ride, my heartbeat sped up and my body grew hot all over. I was nervous. Why? I’d known Don most of my life. He was like family. He was family. Being in his presence had never had an effect on me, but now it did. I was here to speak with him on behalf of Karmen. That’s it. I came to plead her case in order to stop either of them from making the biggest mistake of their lives. Sometimes love hurt. For the person who acted as if being in love was all flowers and candies, it was a lie. Sometimes we hurt the people we loved, whether it be intentional or not. There was no human that was perfect which meant they would never be able to give a perfect love to anyone. There was forgiving love, but never a perfect love. Only Jesus could provide a perfect love and the last time I checked, none of us was Jesus.
Deading the engine, I flipped down the visor to check out my reflection. Smoothing my bob again, I grabbed my phone from the passenger seat, hopped out and then pointed my keys towards my car to lock the door. Stepping up on the porch, my feet got heavy and my palms became sweaty.
Shit! What’s going on with me?
This condo was pretty upscale from the outside so I could only imagine how the inside looked. Before my finger connected with doorbell, the door flew open.
“Hey.” I forced a smile, trying to keep my eyes trained on Don’s face and nothing else. He wore gray sweats that hung loosely from his waist and, of course, he was shirtless once again, showing off my sister’s name like a reminder that the fine specimen in front of me was off limits. Tossing his white tee that he held in his hand over his head, he stepped to the side to allow me in. Once inside, he used his foot to kick the door shut.
“What’s up,” he spoke, walking down a long foyer.
Following closely behind, I watched for signs that Don was married, but there weren’t any. I know he said it was his home away from home but damn, not one picture of Karmen alone or with him graced his walls. He did have one of himself and one of himself with co-workers along with a few awards he received from work.
Walking slowly, he made a right into what I assumed was his, what we called, family room. It wasn’t big or anything, but hanging up over a small fireplace area was a nice flat screen television and some nice dark brown, leather furniture with a small glass table in the center, but it wasn’t a family setting, just nice enough for one person, maybe two. It definitely wasn’t meant for a man who planned to stay married or who wanted children.
“You want anything to drink? Shit, I don’t keep much here since I usually get take out, but I think I have some bottled water or something.” He stood off in the entrance of the family room as I continued to survey the area.
“No, I’m good, thanks,” I answered over my shoulder since he was behind me.
“I know it’s not much but—” I cut him off.
Turning around to face Don, he stood with his arms folded across his chest.
“No, it’s nice. It’s just that, it…”
“It doesn’t fit a married man. A family man, right?” He grinned that alluring ass smile again that showed off his gold fronts.
Damn, Don had so much that I never noticed before. His build, his gold teeth, his ambition. I never recognized any of this before. It was like a stranger in front of me that I was meeting for the first time.
“Well, you said it, not me.” I shrugged.
Watching him walk in my direction, my palms grew sweaty and my heart raced. I could see him walking, but it seemed like it was taking him forever to reach me. But when he finally did, he stopped so close that he could hear me breathe if he listened hard enough.
Lifting his finger, he swiped a strand of hair out of my face. We were a little too close for my liking, so I took one step back.
“I don’t bite Kash. I mean, unless you want me to.” There it was again, that lustful smile.
He was flirting with me!
Again!
Why!
“Don, listen…” I couldn’t finish.
It was like a whirlwind of emotions swept over my body as his lips connected with mine. There was no stopping me now. I was desperately trying to talk myself out of doing what I was doing, but my body wasn’t listening. This shit was beyond wrong. I should not be kissing and not just kissing, but tonguing down my sister’s husband. Oh, but it felt so good. Maybe it’s because I’d been longing for a grown ass man to make me a woman and Don was my only chance at making it happen. Not only was Don slurping, sucking, and nibbling on my bottom lip, but he was groping my ass through my tiny shorts that I, by the way, had no panties underneath. It felt so good, but it was oh so wrong. Why did he have to be my brother-in-law?
Allowing Don to have his way with me, one minute he was squeezing my ass, then he was pinching my breasts all the while our tongues stayed intertwined. My body was hot all over and my private area was pulsating.
I had never felt this in my entire life!
My toys never did this to me. I had been missing out. The large plastic toys did no justice for having a real man touch me. It was different. I usually explored my own body but to have another person, a man, do it was like woah! Whew! His touch was electrifying. Shivers went down my spine every time his fingers glided across my flesh.
Why did it have to be Don?
He should be off limits, but instead, I allowed him to tamper with my most sensitive areas like it was his own private playground.
One minute we were all over each other in his family room and the next thing I knew, we were naked and Don was doing things to my body that should’ve been illegal. Before I knew it, in one swift motion Don finally entered me, exploring my most tender place, taking something I could never get back, and sending me to heights I never thought another human being could take me to.
I was no longer innocent.
Although I should’ve been running and ashamed of my actions, instead, I enjoyed every minute of sleeping with my sister’s husband, and it was dead wrong.
Kashae
In Too Deep…
Three Months Later
“What does she want now?” I sucked my teeth as I covered my naked body with a sheet.
“She wants to meet and talk. She claims it’s important and pertains to the divorce.” Don was scrolling his phone.
Adonis and I had been glued at the hip like I had a right to his ass. He was still married to my sister because she decided she didn’t want things to end. A part of it was my fault because the same night I was supposed to come talk to Don about making sure a divorce was what he wanted, I remember telling her to fight for her man and chang
e her ways. I never expected that he and I would end up in bed together.
Well, all of that was three months ago and now I practically lived at his place. Of course, I had to park streets over, most times in front of stores since my pink damn car was so recognizable. Neither of us was ready for the backlash if Karmen ever found out we were sleeping together. She questioned me almost daily about my whereabouts since I was barely ever at her place. Of course, I always put it on Meesha, but if I were honest, my dealings with Meesha had even ceased since I had been laid up with Don. Along with Meesha being a non-factor, so was school. I had dropped out, or as I like to say, I took a break. It was like he and I were in our own little world and refused to let anyone in.
He explained that it was crucial that no one, not even Meesha, knew about us until the divorce. The divorce Karmen decided she no longer wanted. Her ass was pulling out all the stops too. She was popping up at Don’s job trying to get his attention, his favorite restaurants and hang out places, not to mention the gym he frequented every morning at five a.m. I had never known Karmen to be so persistent over anything, let alone running behind a man. That’s not who she was. Maybe that’s the get my man back Karmen.
My sister claimed only good dick would have me carrying on and going ghost on everybody the way I was, but little did she know, the good dick, as she referred to it, was coming from her husband. As bad as I wanted to be with Don, we could never do normal couple’s stuff, as I often called it. I hated sneaking to other towns to spend time outdoors with my man, but Don always said in due time baby. It was his favorite saying, but when exactly was due time? Would there really ever be a time that Don and I would be normal? Sadly, I wasn’t a fool. No one would ever accept Don and I being together. Even though they had problems way before I ever came into the picture, I wasn’t dumb enough to believe that anyone would believe that. I would forever be the sister who slept with her brother-in-law, but it was so much more to Don and I. He was the yin to my yang; we just fit together so perfectly. He got me. He understood me and I had never witnessed that in my life. Of course my father loved me and he showed it, but outside of him I never felt special, but then came Don. It seemed like fate. I didn’t move in with Karmen and Don with ill intentions.
Things just sort of happened!
So, believe what you want to! The truth was, I did my best to stop whatever I felt was happening with Don and me, but I could only control it for so long until it finally happened.
“What did she say exactly Don?” I questioned as he turned his back to me.
“She wants to meet like I said. She said something about it was time for us to stop playing and let it go.”
My face lit up at his statement, but why wasn’t his ass as happy as I was that Karmen was finally ready to let him go and sign those divorce papers?
“Bae? Why aren’t you happy about this? This is what we’ve wanted for so long.”
Exhaling loudly, he sat up in bed and positioned his body in my direction.
“Because I know your sister. She’s full of it. Karmen doesn’t want me. It’s a mind game to her ass.” He shrugged.
Grabbing the blunt from next to the bed, I positioned it between my lips and Don reached for the lighter next to him to light it for me. Taking a pull, I closed my eyes thinking about what he said.
He was right.
Karmen liked control and Don not talking, responding to her texts, or giving her the time of day during her pop-up visits was eating at her. She hated that he had the upper hand. She had expressed it to me a million times that she was sick of chasing a man who didn’t want her, but went on to say it was for the greater good, whatever that shit meant. She always said it was for the sake of the family that she wanted things to work out with Don, but she never once said she wanted him back because she loved him.
I wasn’t sure what was up with Karmen, but her ass didn’t want Don anymore, but for whatever reason she didn’t want to give him up either.
“I think you should see her this time. She might actually let you go.” I opened my eyes and smoke came out of my nose.
Passing the blunt to Don, he took a pull then dumped his ashes in the ashtray next to the bed.
“I’on know bae. I don’t feel like dealing with her ass.” He hit the blunt again.
“But what if this is the time she actually signs the damn papers? I don’t want you to miss the opportunity for us to finally be together.” He passed the blunt back to me.
“I feel ya, but listen, do you really think that we can be all cool and shit even if she does sign the papers? You know once she gets wind of us it’s going to be hell. My job may be on the line because she knows all the top executives, and what about your parents? I know you THINK you’re ready for this shit, but your sister can be hell Kash, and what about your father?” He lowered his head.
My parents.
I hadn’t given them a second thought. My main concern had been my sister. Over the last few months, they had invited me to visit their home and new church in Tennessee a million times, but I wasn’t ready to face them. Maybe once Karmen and Don divorced I’d have the courage to look them in the eyes, but right now, no. I just couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t make it a second after watching disappointment on my father’s face when he found out I was having an affair with my sister’s husband. My father would probably die an early death when the truth came to the light. He had such high hopes for me, but in just a few months of my parents leaving town, I was a totally different Kashae Howard. My hair was still cut in a bob with a hint of blue added to it now. I also had tats all over the place. I think I had become obsessed, but Don said it was a phase. He said he always heard once you got one you’d keep getting them, and it wasn’t a lie either. My entire body from head to toe was inked. I was in love with tattoos.
I had a belly piercing and a nose piercing with the hook through my nostrils. Whenever I would Facetime my parents, I always had my nose piercing out and my hair wrapped up. I never stayed on the phone long, but just enough to keep them from doing their infamous pop ups that they loved so much. Thank God they were so busy getting the church together from the new transition that they had no time to just show up on us. If they ever popped up, it would be hell. It seemed as if Don knew more about Karmen’s attitude and her vindictive ways than I did, but even if she found out about Don and I, she wouldn’t be able to shake the fact that we were still sisters. We would always be sisters no matter who was with who.
Period.
Of course I knew it would take a minute for her to come to grips with my relationship with Don, but she didn’t want his ass anymore so he was fair game. I only slept with Don once he asked for a divorce, not a second before.
“Meet at the house so I can make sure I’m there to listen in,” I beamed.
“A’ight, what about noon?” He grabbed his phone up to respond to Karmen.
“Noon is good. I can act like I just got out of class.”
“You really should finish school Kash,” he voiced while keeping his eyes on his phone.
“I will,” I whined.
I hated when Don sounded like my father instead of my man.
“Ok, well it’s done. She just said ok.” He tossed his phone next to him before kissing my lips and turning the lamp off.
My insides fluttered at the reality that soon I would no longer be Don’s side piece, but his woman. And though it was wrong in so many ways to be in love with him, it was just too late for that because I was in too deep at this point.
Karmen
Next Day… Noon
Fighting for Don had me losing my mind. I had never and when I say never in my life chased a damn thing. That just wasn’t me, but Don serving me those papers was an eye opener. I never thought he’d do it, but he for sure proved my ass wrong. I loved Adonis and always had, but that saying never missing something until it was gone was nothing but the truth. I never realized how much his presence meant to me until now.
I had been vying for Don’s t
ime and attention for three months now, hoping that he and I could reconcile. Showing up at his job, the gym and his frequent hangouts did me no good because Don didn’t bite the bait I was dangling right in his face. I wore my most seductive clothes and took lunch from his favorite eateries, but all he said was, “I appreciate it Kar, but I’m done, so please let it go.”
Those words… they ate at me and ripped my heart in two. He was really over me and I had to step my game up. There was no way I had been with Adonis all these years and would just allow another chick to swoop in and take what belonged to me. I had no proof that there was another female in Don’s life, but on looks alone he was a great catch, let alone his drive, ambition, and go-getter attitude. He was a definite catch and as soon as it got out that I had let him go, I knew the bitches would be flocking like bees to honey.
Just thinking of his voice and the way he no longer made eye contact with me when he spoke, I knew we were over, but my heart couldn’t take it. The sad part was I wasn’t sure if I couldn’t take it because I truly wanted my husband back, or if I couldn’t take it because I had never been rejected. Without a doubt I loved Adonis. I knew it, but I also knew I was afraid of rejection.
That’s another reason I had my outside activities. Those men needed me and made me feel superior and in control. It was my call what I did with them, if anything, and I lived for the thrill, but once I stopped drinking and decided I wanted my husband back, I knew I had to let go of my extracurricular activities, as I liked to refer to them.
Of course Maddox had been blowing me up apologizing about the stunt his wife pulled, but I told him I would no longer be seeing him. There was no way I could handle dealing with a damn scorned wife at this time in my life. My other lil’ friends, as I like to sometimes call them, were put on hold too. I vowed that if I got Don back, I would never entertain those random men again, but I couldn’t quite tell them all that in case my marriage didn’t work I’d need their income. So instead of cutting them off completely, I told them work was intense right now and I had no time for anything else.