by Jessica M.
Inhaling deeply then exhaling, I stepped inside and she shut the door behind us. Turning around to face her, she had her arms folded stiffly across her chest with her eyes planted directly on me. She was big mad. I couldn’t blame her, but hell, it was what it was. Her problems were with her husband and not me. Females killed me going to the other woman and not their man. He was married to her. Shit, I wasn’t. Plus, if she only knew I was trying to cop my coins and nothing more, she’d pipe the hell down. I didn’t want her husband or no shit like that. He was a means to an end. We met up, we talked, he got off, paid me, and then I was out. No foul, no harm. I mean, until the next time.
“You should be ashamed of yourself little girl. What would Kalissa and Pastor think about this?” Tears welled up in her eyes.
A tiny bit of remorse swept over me because she didn’t deserve this, but in the end, her husband approached me one day after service. Oh wow, I hadn’t told you. The lady in front of me was Mrs. Marlo Wells, wife of Pastor Maddox Wells. See, he was the associate pastor at the church that my father had pastored for many years before getting the offer to take over for his dead friend’s church in Tennessee. Now, Maddox held the title as senior pastor and since he got a little money, he had gotten the big head. Taking over my father’s small congregation had gone to his head, making him feel like the head nigga in charge since he had been voted in to be head pastor. My father’s church was small, but those old people paid their tithes like they paid Duke Power. Faithfully. They weren’t missing a Sunday; therefore, Maddox had a nice chunk of change coming in every week and unfortunately for his wife and the church, I was in their budget.
It all started about six months ago after service. I always helped out with the books every Sunday so my father wouldn’t have to pay an outsider. It was just Maddox and me in the office and he flirted with me non-stop. I had already been doing my side business for over two years at this point, but I tried to steer clear of people my family knew. Well, Maddox had other plans. The first few Sundays I stayed late to do the books, he flirted, talked about how my hair was nice or how I looked nice in my outfit and how it complemented my body. To me it was all innocent since he was old enough to be my father, but then he texted me late one night after seeing me in the office earlier that day, pretending he needed help with some paperwork and asked if I could meet him. Of course I met up with him and before I knew it, we were in his car feeling one another up as he jerked himself off. From there, it was on. Maddox had been one of my regulars for six months now. He really wanted all of my time, but I told him there was no way he could afford me so it was best we kept it once or twice a week. He texted me last night for nudes and I told him I had to receive my cash through Apple Pay or Cash App before I sent his ass anything and like clockwork, there was five hundred dollars in my account so Pastor Maddox Wells could see shots of my honey pot, ass, and boobs. It was wrong. I knew it was, but the fun and money outweighed the bad in my eyes.
“You wouldn’t dare.” I propped my hand on my hips.
There I was the entire time feeling like I had been busted, but in all honesty, I held the cards. True, I was married and my parents would be disappointed but really, Mrs. Marlo had the most to lose if this shit leaked. Her husband had just gained his title as senior pastor by taking over for my father, so imagine if those old people got drift of the pastor’s extracurricular activities? Nah, her ass wasn’t talking! She just wanted me to leave her cheating ass husband alone.
A smirk graced my face and she looked baffled.
“There is nothing funny about this situation Karmen. I know your parents. I’ve known you for a long time. How could you?” Breaking eye contact, I looked away.
I wasn’t a heartless person. I really wasn’t, but her issue was with Maddox and not me.
“I’m not laughing Marlo.”
“Why would you do this to my family? To your husband? You have a good man.”
“Don’t worry about my husband. You need worry about yours and why he’s cheating.”
“Why is he cheating? Tell me. He must’ve shared it with you.” She plopped down in the chair next to the bed.
“You know what? I’m not doing this with you. You need to talk to Maddox.” I placed my sunglasses back over my eyes.
I wasn’t hanging around for this pity party.
“I asked him when I looked through his phone this morning. Do you know he had the nerve to keep your nude photos and your conversations? It was like he wanted to save you for later. Most men would’ve gotten their peek and erased it, but not him. He actually hit me for the first time because he got caught. Did you hear me? Because HE got caught! The nerve of him! He’s never hit me and never even bothered to lie about anything. He just said act like I never saw it and be his church wife. Whatever that craziness means!” She broke down with both hands hovering over her face.
Marlo was a nice looking fifty plus chick, her skin was smooth like peanut butter, her natural hair easily hit her waist, her boobs were nice and not saggy like most her age, but she still wasn’t a twenty-six-year-old Karmen Nash. I mean, she kept her hair and nails done. She always had on the latest fashions, so maybe that’s why he made the statement about being his church wife. He needed someone like her on his arm. I had to give it to her though; she still had a nice figure. I supposed she still worked out to try to keep Maddox’s attention, but it didn’t work obviously, or he wouldn’t be stepping out to see me every chance he got. The sad part was I had never had sex of any kind, including oral sex, with Maddox. Of course he always did me, but I had never put my mouth on him. The most I had done was stroke him until he was hard. The rest was on him. I danced for him, wore his favorite color red lingerie and allowed him to touch me, but that was it. Sure, he always begged for more but it wasn’t going down. Not allowing these men to enter me somehow made me feel ok about what I was doing.
Stop being judgmental!
A part of me hurt for her, but hell, this was her fight to fight, not mine. I was only working. It was a job. I didn’t want her spot or no shit like that. Maybe Maddox was going through a midlife crisis or something. Hell, I didn’t know, but what I did know was I had to leave his ass alone because I had no time for crying wives or girlfriends.
“He even has your number saved under your real name. He really had no desire to hide you,” she explained through more tears and sobs.
“Listen, I’m leaving and we can pretend like this little meeting never happened, but I still need my money for my time.” I extended my hand in her direction.
You damn right she still needed to run me my money. Nothing was free these days, especially not my time. Time and money were the two things you could never get back.
In less than an hour, I had made it home, showered, had a little jazz going and was on the back patio lounging across my patio furniture with a class of white wine to my lips. This life seemed so perfect, but if you only knew. Everything that glittered wasn’t gold. Most people thought Don and I had the good life, but it was hell keeping up that front when on most days we didn’t even like each other. Having my sister here helped us with the fussing and fighting. She might think what happened was a just a bad day in our marriage, but Don and I usually fought like cats and dogs, but when he put his hands on me that was something else. Our arguments and fights had gotten bad. I mean really bad, but never had he choked me out and had me wanting to end him.
The computerized voice that was connected to our alarm soared through the patio alerting me that someone was in the house, and I knew it had to be my sister, until I heard Don’s voice.
“Can we talk?” His voice was just above a whisper.
“Leave before I kill you.” I sipped my wine without even turning around to acknowledge him.
“I don’t want to argue with you Karmen.”
“Then don’t! Just go Don!” My trigger finger started itching remembering what he had done to me. He had some nerve showing his face so soon.
“I’m sorry I let shit get
so far out of hand. I don’t think I can do this anymore. You can have the house, cars and whatever is in our joint account, but…” I took another sip of my wine before I responded to this asshole.
Finally standing to approach Don, I began to hysterically laugh in his face while placing my wine glass on the patio table before I was tempted to fling it at his ass. This nigga here! Oh, he was definitely a comedian at this point. Stepping up in here acting like he was giving me permission to MY own shit.
“You have some nerve Adonis!” I took slow strides in his direction, still laughing at his clown ass. He was for sure a clown at this point. He couldn’t be taken seriously.
Whew! But I couldn’t deny the fact that this man was fine, even if he did sound foolish. His fresh cut and neatly lined up beard always set my hormones in motion. I loved a man with a fresh haircut. He was just too damn sexy. He was making it hard to snap off on his ass.
Shifting his stance, I could tell by his posture that he was preparing for whatever I may have dished out. But I wasn’t going to put my hands on his ass. Well, that was the plan.
“YOU choked ME! And you want to leave me? Then you think you gone tell me what the hell I can have and what I can’t have? Nigga, I made you. Adonis, come on! You had nothing homie.” I nudged him in the forehead with my long stiletto nail.
Adonis hated when I switched from conservative to ghetto. Oh, he knew I could get ratchet and he hated it. He always claimed that he had seen enough ghetto in his life growing up in the hood and he never wanted to see it in his wife. Oh, well too bad!
Don didn’t flinch when I nudged him, but his tight lips and sweat beads that now covered his forehead let me know I was hanging by a thread. It was killing him not to retaliate. My husband was from the hood so I knew it took a lot of self-control for him to allow me to poke him in his head.
“Same shit different day Kar. You made me. Ok, we all get that. Now what? That’s all you have to say. You never take responsibility for your actions. You still haven’t apologized for lying to me about not wanting to get pregnant and taking birth control pills behind my back and that’s why this is over, but keep feeding yourself that bullshit like I’m the reason shit’s turning out like it is. Anyway, I’m out! I’m grabbing as much shit as I can and I’ll send for the rest.”
He turned around, leaving me standing there.
“Get it all nigga! Ain’t no coming back!” I screamed as he continued to walk away from me into the house, slamming the patio door shut.
Oh well, I guess this was it for me and Adonis.
Kashae
One Week Later…
Getting high and chillin’ had become my everyday routine with Meesha and the crew. Today, reality hit me that my ass had tons of school work to do and a paper due at midnight that I had not typed one word of, and let’s not mention that fact that my sister was walking around here like a regular drunk since Adonis had officially left her ass.
Like he promised, he had her ass served with divorce papers yesterday and she had been sitting on the sofa in the family room with a wine bottle at her side ever since. Karmen tried to pretend she wasn’t affected, but her ass hadn’t left the house to do anything. She had been sneaking out here and there most nights since I had moved in, but as of last night, she had not answered her phone or anything. Hearing different sounds coming from her phone, I knew some were texts and emails, but she wasn’t budging.
Our parents had called me this morning saying that she had been ignoring their communication attempts for the past week and they wanted to be sure she was alright. Since it wasn’t my place to tell her marital business, all I said was she was ok, but busy with work. When she was ready to let them in on what was up with her and Don then she would, but until then I was keeping quiet. Sharing with anyone that your marriage was falling apart would be a hard pill to swallow, so when she was ready she’d be the one to share the news. Hopefully, me telling them work had her busy would buy her some time before they did a pop up on our asses. Our parents were known to pop up. You had to love having parents like them that cared enough to see about their children, but damn, it could also be overbearing. We were adults and it was our right not to let them into every area of our lives. I for one wasn’t ready for them to witness the new me. Since they had moved, I had changed a lot. Not just my outward appearance had changed with my new bob, tats, and piercings, but my mind and thought process had changed too. I wasn’t Daddy’s innocent little girl anymore and it showed.
Sitting Indian style in the middle of my bed with a pair of gray, short cheerleading shorts and a white tank top with no bra on as my reading glasses sat just over the bridge of my nose, I began to type my paper on the importance of meeting the needs of all the kids in a kindergarten classroom.
Snatching me from my thoughts from my school work, there was a light tap on my open bedroom door. Glancing in the direction of my door, there stood my sister looking like shit with a glass at her side, disheveled hair, and a tear-streaked face.
Immediately jumping from my position on the bed, I ran to her side and she fell over in my grasp. Rubbing her back as she sobbed, I squeezed her body tight allowing her to get it out. I had never witnessed my sister so broken in my life like I had in these past two weeks. She was always the strong one, but this shit with Don was eating at her. My sister needed to realize that she had a pride issue. If she wanted, Don she needed to fight for him and not fight with him. If she only knew how many people had missed out on what God had for them because of pride. Pride always came before a fall. I wasn’t making the best decisions right now since my parents had moved, but I still remembered the teachings of my parents and the church.
“Go get your man sis,” I whispered in her ear as she dropped the bottle of wine to the floor and held me.
“He-he—doesn’t want me anymore,” she managed to get out in between sniffles.
“He does want you, but you have to change your ways Karmen. You keep throwing up what you did for him and no man wants to hear that all the time. You’re a team.” She pulled away, staring me in the eyes.
Offering a smile, she swept her hand under her eyelids.
“How do you know so much?” She smiled again.
“I’on know. I know you two love each other though. And love conquers all.” I shrugged.
“Love conquers all, huh?” She fell against my bedroom door frame, crossing her legs at the ankles.
“I believe that with you and Don.”
“He actually served me divorce papers Kash.” Her eyes became wet again but she tried to hold back.
“Maybe to get your attention,” I spoke softly.
“Well, he got it.”
“And what are you going to do about it?”
“I don’t know.”
And with that, she bent over, picking up the unopened wine bottle from the floor before retreating back to her familiar position on the sofa. Watching my sister walk away in so much doubt and unhappiness, I knew I had to do something. I had to talk to Don.
I hadn’t spoken to Don since we ran into one another at the salon/barbershop that day. The feelings I felt in his car that day and the vibe that always connected us when we were in one another’s presence had to be false. It wasn’t right. My body deceived me every time I was around Don, but I think it’s because I had discovered my body and the opposite sex since hanging around Meesha so often. Yea, that’s it, because Adonis and my sister belonged together. It must just be a phase.
Closing my bedroom door, I snatched my phone from next to my laptop to call Don. I had to talk some sense into his ass. He was mad and stubborn just like Karmen, and I had to do something to get him to realize that she was where he belonged.
Dialing him up, I was surprised when he answered on the first ring. It was well after six in the evening and I knew most nights Don worked long hours. He was dedicated as hell and he knew that in order to rise up from that hood standard that most put him in, he had to put in the work. He never minded either. He ac
tually seemed to always welcome the judgmental spirits that thought he was a hood nigga and would never change. That’s what I loved about Don. He was a go getter. And just like he had that go-getter spirit in the streets, he had it in the legal world too.
“What’s up sis,” he said sleepily into the phone.
For some reason, guilt consumed me because I hated to hear him refer to me as sis.
Why? I am his sister-in-law after all.
“Hey, ummmm, sorry to wake you.”
“It’s ok, you good?” he asked, trying to get the grogginess out of his voice.
“Yea, I’m fine, but can I see you? I need to talk to you.”
There was a pause and I just knew he was about to say no.
“Yea, you want to meet out or come here?”
“Where is here?”
He sighed before speaking.
“Duncan. I’ve had a place here for a couple of months now.”
What! Adonis had had his own place for a couple of months? Shit had been that sour in my sister’s marriage that he had his own place? Did she know? I was afraid to ask. Things seemed to be way more serious than I imagined.
“I know what you’re thinking and no, Karmen doesn’t know anything about it. I got it as a safe place. I knew eventually this day would come and I wanted to prepare. Kash, shit has been all bad for us for a while now and her lying about birth control just tipped the shit over the edge.”
“I’m speechless.” I plopped down on the edge of my bed with the phone to my ear.
Defeat consumed my body. Maybe they were over after all.
“You still coming over?”
Pushing against the feeling of defeat, I decided to still give it a shot for my sister’s sake.
“Yes, just send me your location.”