Addiction

by Roberta Blablanski

  In between pants, Dex responded, “Are you sure? Because I want you, too. So, so badly. But I want you to be sure about this before we get too far.”

  “We’re past the point of too far. And I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

  They simultaneously shucked their briefs, tossing them exuberantly to the side of the bed. Dex’s landed on the bedside lamp, dimming the already dim lighting in the room. Dex handed Owen the lube that was conveniently poking out from under one of the cushions.

  “Hey, a guy has needs!” For the longest time after he left Owen, Dex felt no desire to be with anyone else. He got by on memories of the way Owen’s body felt and his own hand.

  Owen tossed his head back and laughed. Dex took that as permission to trail tender bites along his exposed neck.

  “Let’s get to the main event, shall we?”

  “We shall.”

  Dex took the bottle from Owen’s hand and coated his fingers. Stroking Owen’s cock with his other hand, Dex slid his fingers down Owen’s crack and circled his hole. Pressing one finger gently into the center, Dex felt the breach, and warmth enveloped his finger. He slowly worked his finger in and out of Owen until he felt him relax. Dex added a second finger, scissoring them inside Owen to prepare him. Owen was enjoying that if his moans were any indication.

  Dex removed his fingers and caressed the tight skin of Owen’s balls. “Are you ready for me?”

  “Yes. Now, please,” Owen begged. Dex wanted to freeze the moment, wanted to always remember the desire in Owen’s voice and touch. The passion and tenderness in Owen’s eyes ignited a fire in Dex, one that would take a monsoon to extinguish.

  Dex rolled a condom down over his cock and lubed up. Lining up with Owen’s entrance, Dex slowly pushed forward. At the first breach, Owen inhaled sharply and shut his eyes. Dex rubbed his thigh. “Is this okay?”

  Owen opened his eyes and looked directly into Dex’s, and Dex almost choked from the raw emotion displayed in those vibrant gray eyes. “Yeah. It’s been a while.”

  The question didn’t make it past Dex’s lips before Owen answered.

  “You were my last. It’s always only been you.” Owen smoothed back the hair from Dex’s face and stroked his cheek.

  "Not Ivan?" Dex asked on an inhale.

  "Ivan?" Confusion clouded Owen's face.

  Embarrassed by his unfounded jealousy, Dex lamely responded, "You talk about him often. It's clear you care about him."

  The corner of Owen's eyes crinkled in humor. "He's a dear friend, and I admire him. Nothing more. And nothing like the way I feel about you."

  A surge of affection for this beautiful man overtook Dex’s chest. “I’ll take care of you. I promise.”

  It was a slow, torturous process, and Dex had to summon all the strength he had not to thrust his hips forward. He took his time, stroking Owen’s cock and caressing his balls when the penetration seemed to be too much for him. When Dex was finally fully seated, he paused to admire Owen’s flushed skin and swollen lips.

  “You are gorgeous,” Dex breathed and leaned down to take Owen’s lips again. Their kisses were passionate and tender, as if they were pouring all of their feelings into them. Their tongues tangled languidly, Dex’s fingers threaded through Owen’s sandy hair.

  Dex moved his hips tentatively, his body on alert for any signs of discomfort from Owen. Owen’s eyes were heavy lidded, and he moaned in pleasure when Dex thrust forward. Dex picked up his pace and began moving in and out of Owen’s tight warmth. Their moans were becoming increasingly louder and their bodies slick with sweat as they moved together.

  It didn’t take long for Dex’s balls to tighten. Owen snaked a hand between their bodies to stroke his hardness. Owen cried out, and Dex felt the warmth of his release. Dex let his pleasure envelope him, pressing his face against Owen’s damp neck as his orgasm roared through him.

  They remained intertwined, catching their breaths and coming down from their orgasms. Owen yawned again, spurring Dex to jump to the bathroom for a warm, wet washcloth. He cleaned Owen tenderly, and when he rubbed Owen’s stomach, Owen pushed his hands away.

  “What’s wrong, baby?”

  “I’m not fit anymore. See my pooch?” Owen poked his belly. It wasn’t flat or toned, and yeah, there was a little extra padding, but nothing that Owen should be ashamed of.

  “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.” Dex kissed Owen’s belly, eliciting a yelp from Owen.

  “Says the hot guy with a hint of a six pack.”

  “You think I’m hot?” Dex winked at Owen and ducked, narrowly missing the pillow Owen tossed at him.

  After their giggles died down, they got ready for bed. Dex pulled Owen to him, pressing his chest to Owen’s back. Owen turned his head, giving Dex a quick kiss on the lips.

  The moment before Dex fell asleep, he could have sworn he heard Owen whisper, “I love you.”

  EPILOGUE

  OWEN

  THE BEACH WAS A DIFFERENT PLACE through clear eyes. Where the sand once reminded him of days without a shower, trying futilely to shake out the grains from his clothing and shoes, now the beach seemed vibrant and clean and...comforting in a way Owen never could have imagined while in the depths of his addiction.

  The air was fresher, the sunshine brighter, the water bluer, the sand whiter. How could that be? It was the same beach he’d spent hours at, ruminating over all the things he should have done differently and regretting all the decisions that led him there.

  Today, he saw hope and a new beginning. A fresh start with Dex and the life he was working toward before he let his demons get the better of him.

  It was the one-year anniversary of the day he checked himself into rehab. Dex wanted to take him here as a sort of celebration. Owen was confused about Dex’s desire to come to this particular place, but now he got it. This wasn’t the same place of misery; this was a place of joy.

  "Do you know how proud I am of you?" Dex turned to face Owen as he spoke, his eyes bright and shiny.

  Owen caressed Dex's cheek and lifted up onto his tiptoes to press a gentle kiss to his lips. "And I'm grateful for you."

  Under the care of his new psychiatrist, Dr. Grant, Owen had weaned off Suboxone and was one hundred percent clean and sober. He still struggled every now and again when life got stressful, but he acknowledged that this was part of his life. A part he could manage with Dex’s love and support, alongside Narcotics Anonymous meetings, calls with his sponsor when things got rough, and appointments with his psychiatrist.

  His other demon, Leroy, was sentenced to three consecutive fifteen-year sentences for various drug charges and for his attacks on Owen and Georgie. Gary took a plea deal and was serving a nine-year sentence. It was time to put all of that behind him.

  He was well on his way to getting his life back. He had his friends and Dex and was proving himself at his new/not new job at the hotel. Patrick was still skeptical of Owen and rightfully so. He saw first-hand the heartbreak Owen put Dex through. But Owen was a patient man; he’d win over Patrick eventually.

  "There's something I want to tell you." Dex took Owen's hand and linked their fingers. How could something as simple as hand holding ground Owen? "I'm moving."

  "What?"

  The shock of Dex's revelation hit him like a bucket of ice water to the face. Dex was leaving? His lifeline and part of his support system was leaving?

  Dex played a critical role in Owen’s recovery. His moving away was unexpected and frightened Owen, but how could he be upset? Dex had no obligation to Owen, and if he wanted to start life over somewhere else, who was Owen to stop him?

  "Okay," Owen said resolutely, deciding to be positive and not let his feelings ruin Dex’s moment. "That's...great." He would be happy for Dex and supportive, just as Dex had always been for him. "Did you get an offer for another teaching job? You're a fantastic teacher, and it's clear your students adore you. Any school should be honored to have you on their faculty."

  Dex
pulled him in and laughed into his hair. “No, baby.” Owen shivered at the endearment; he loved when Dex called him baby. “I’m moving to a larger apartment. My studio is becoming cramped.”

  Owen leaned into the embrace with relief. Dex wasn’t leaving him after all. “Oh, okay. That makes sense.” The close quarters of Dex’s apartment meant lots of accidental and not-so-accidental body contact when they were there together. Not that Owen minded in the least; he enjoyed Dex in his personal space.

  "I have something for you." Dex released Owen and dug into the canvas bag he’d brought from his car. "It's something to mark this special anniversary for you and to celebrate how far you've come."

  Owen watched with keen eyes as Dex withdrew a small blue gift bag. He held it out to Owen, and Owen took it reluctantly. He peered inside and saw a white box, similar to what jewelry would come in. It couldn’t be…, right? "Dex?" His heart leaped into his throat, waiting for Dex’s explanation.

  "You can say no; it's fine. First, give me a chance to get out the speech I practiced, and then you can accept or refuse."

  "Okay," Owen said softly, a myriad of thoughts running through his mind. He and Dex were in a good place, slowly rebuilding their lost connection. The snail's pace suited them, he thought. But he'd give Dex the benefit of the doubt and not jump to conclusions. Surely Dex didn't think they were ready for another engagement.

  Of course, he would one day like to discuss getting engaged and married, but he wanted to feel he deserved that place next to Dex. He was a work in progress, and his self-worth was something he was addressing with his therapist.

  “Look inside the box, my love.”

  Owen lifted the box from the bag, hands shaking in anticipation. Dex took the bag from him, and Owen opened the top of the box.

  There was a slip of paper folded into a square the size of the box. He pulled out the slip of paper and underneath was a key on a keychain.

  “Read the note first.”

  Owen unfolded the note and read the printed words out loud:

  “yours is the light by which my spirit's born: - you are my sun,

  my moon, and all my stars.”

  ― e. e. cummings

  Dex brushed Owen’s hair from his face and leaned in for a tender kiss. “Owen, you are my sun, my moon, and my stars. We’ve been through hell and have come out stronger on the other side. We belong together, and I can’t imagine living without you.”

  Owen’s heart swelled as Dex spoke his words of love and devotion. He removed the key from the box, the charms on the keychain jingling softly.

  “It’s a key to my new apartment.”

  “Does this mean you’re asking me to move in?” Owen looked into Dex’s shiny eyes, blinking back tears of his own.

  “It can be whatever you want. It can be an invitation to invite yourself over anytime or a request to have you officially move in. There’s no pressure. I want you to do what you’re ready for, what your heart tells you.”

  Owen fingered the charms. “Sun, moon, stars,” he murmured, touching each charm corresponding with his words. “It would be good to get out of Sammy’s condo. His obsession with skin care and workout routines is unbearable."

  Dex chuckled. "Is that the only reason?"

  "Absolutely not. But what if I fuck up again?" His ultimate fear.

  "What if I fuck up?" Dex countered.

  Owen shook his head at Dex's ridiculous question. "You could never fuck up."

  "You can't guarantee that. Either one of us could mess up. No one is perfect. Certainly, no relationship is perfect. We learn as we go. I'm willing to take that chance with you."

  "Again?"

  "Again." Dex plucked the key from Owen's hands and slipped it in Owen's pocket. "I love you."

  "Ditto."

  THE END

  THANK YOU

  Thank you for reading Addiction! Keep an eye out for Attraction--Sammy’s quest to find love--coming soon.

  If you enjoyed Owen and Dex’s story, please take a moment to leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads. Reviews help other readers find stories they enjoy.

  To stay up to date on new releases, follow me on Twitter or subscribe to my monthly newsletter, Roberta’s Ramblings.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I have so many people to thank for making this self-publishing dream a reality:

  To Riina, who started me on this thing called writing;

  To Eliott, for being an incredible critique partner;

  To RJ and Tanya, for invaluable feedback;

  To Charlie, for taking my words and making them shine;

  To the author Slack group, for hours of endless entertainment, fountains of knowledge, and all the encouragement a newbie could ask for; and

  To the readers, for sharing your love of books.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Roberta Blablanski hails from The Big Easy: New Orleans, Louisiana. She draws inspiration from her colorful hometown and her former life as a college radio DJ. When she isn’t writing, she spends her days searching for the world’s best Bloody Mary and avoiding people she went to high school with. Her normal habitat is curled up in bed with a good book and a cup of coffee.

  Roberta developed a love of books at an early age, spending her summers at the library. Years later, after watching the American version of the television show Queer as Folk, she began searching for books featuring queer characters finding love. Most recently, she began writing queer love stories of her own, drawing from her own personal experiences and creating characters and story lines as vibrant as her ever-changing hair color.

  ALSO BY ROBERTA BLABLANSKI

  Return to Sender from JMS Books

  College professor and website designer Drew Hampton has had only one great love in his life. A loner as a teen, he found solace in art, his self-styled mullet, and the television show ALF. Then a new boy moved in next door, and he discovered love.

  Mechanic Wes Harrison was thrown into adult responsibility at a young age. He’s managed to build a good life through hard work and determination; however, he hasn’t been in a relationship since high school.

  Drew and Wes were deeply in love thirty years ago, but then they were torn apart. Unlucky at relationships after their separation, both men treasured memories of their one true love.

  Fate intervenes and gives them a second chance. Will they rekindle their once great love and find happiness, or has too much time gone by?

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Foreword

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Epilogue

  Thank You

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author