A Streak of Bad Cluck (Bought-the-Farm Mystery Book 3)

by Ellen Riggs

  “Ah,” I said, relieved to know there was a reason she’d backed Myrtle McCain, who’d savagely attacked me once. “I’m sure Aggie wasn’t happy being put on a budget.”

  “Oh no. But she hadn’t made the trek back for a few years, and then she didn’t collect my last few deposits. I hoped she’d died, not to put too fine a point on it. She didn’t make the healthy choices I did.” The dry laugh came again. “But she did inherit the cockroach survivor gene, and eventually turned up again.” She glanced up at me. “I didn’t know she was back till the day you told me you’d seen me near your henhouse. Since I hadn’t been there, I knew my life was about to take a bad turn. And right before the bridge tournament, too.”

  “That’s why you wanted to go home that night.”

  She nodded. “I knew she’d try to get in, and she had. She was sure I had some family jewels hidden away and wanted to make sure my will named her as beneficiary. To keep things simple, she said. When I didn’t cooperate, she threatened to move to Clover Grove permanently. Can you imagine? What little social standing I had left would be decimated.”

  “And that’s when you killed her?”

  It was a sneak tactic that failed. “Nice try,” she said with a withering glance. “Leave that sort of thing for your boyfriend when he arrives. I didn’t kill Aggie. It was just one streak of good luck in my otherwise unlucky life. She came back early in the morning to try again. The greedy pig took the crème brûlée right out of my hand and had the audacity to eat it while trying to blackmail me. Then she ‘borrowed’ my shoes and left. Twenty minutes later I found her while walking to your farm. I put two and two together and came up with strychnine.”

  She raised her eyebrows and I shrugged a little.

  “The poison was meant for me, of course, but I knew I’d be blamed. It probably even came from my old medical kit.” She sighed. “So I came out here to ride things out. I was ready.”

  “Who really poisoned the crème brûlée?” I asked.

  She gave a resigned shrug. “I trust you’ll get that sorted out soon enough, Ivy.”

  “Me!”

  “Well, you fancy yourself the new sleuth in town, don’t you? You owe me this.”

  “I owe you something? Did I miss the huge favor you did for me?”

  “It’s more what I didn’t do, like spread the word about Daisy and that dogcatcher. Plus there are stories about your other sisters you don’t even know. Stuff that would tarnish your reputation even more were they to get out.”

  I glared at her. “So now you’re blackmailing me.”

  Her eyes crinkled at the edges. I couldn’t tell if she was serious or not. It could go either way with Edna.

  “I don’t need to blackmail you,” she said. “You’re going to do this anyway—for yourself and your farm and your family. I’ll just benefit from that.”

  She was right, and I resented she could be so complacent about it. “Well I’d appreciate some leads, Edna.”

  “Miss Evans.”

  “Edna,” I repeated. “Anyone who’d put me in this position forfeits the niceties. So just tell me who in Clover Grove would want you dead? And who is going to be really upset when they learn they pegged the wrong twin?”

  “Honestly, Ivy.” She sounded disgusted. “It would be easier to count who wouldn’t want me dead. With Doc Grainer gone, I’m the repository of so many town secrets. People like the Bridge Buddies always care about reputation and they’ll go a long way to protect it.”

  “Which one had most to lose?” I asked. “Gertrude? Morag?”

  She shook her head. “You’re going about this the wrong way. Let the police chief dig into the bridge club’s tawdry secrets.”

  I got up and started pacing again. “Your secrets are pretty tawdry, Edna. Just saying.”

  “That’s different.” She had the decency to look a little sheepish, though.

  “Maybe knowing what’s different is the line that separates a sociopath from a regular flawed human being.”

  “Well, I never spilled their secrets. They just worried I might and that kept the balance of power. Although I could never for a single second let my guard down, and obviously I was right to worry. Maybe I’ll finally get a moment’s peace after you sort this out once and for all.”

  I checked my phone again. “Kellan will be here any minute to do just that.”

  “Let him work the official channels,” she said. “You do it the other way.”

  “What other way?”

  “The crazy way you and this dog work.”

  She nodded at Keats, who’d been sitting like a statue most of this time, staring at Edna with his cool blue eye. I was surprised he’d leave his back exposed to the feline army, but he seemed confident.

  He flicked that blue eye at me now and I remembered what I’d wanted to ask her. “Right,” I said. “I completely forgot about that! Thanks, buddy.”

  Edna shook her head. “That would be the crazy I was talking about.”

  “We don’t have much time, Edna. Tell me what the little key was for.”

  “What little key?”

  “The one in the curly doll’s head.” I could hear voices in the distance. “Hurry, now.”

  Her eyes had widened in horror. “How did you know about that?”

  I nodded at Keats. “Crazy club, that’s how. Was Aggie after what’s behind that key? Does anyone else know about it?”

  The drawstring pulled her lips tight but then she spit out, “That’s personal. Private. It has nothing to do with anything. You put that key back where it belongs.”

  “Well, you’ve called on Keats to help and he thinks it has something to do with everything.”

  “Did you tell Kellan about that key?”

  I blinked a few times. I’d meant to, and then I legitimately forgot about it until this moment. “I may have neglected to mention it,” I said.

  “Well, you can continue to neglect to mention it,” she said. “Because it’s personal. And private. One day you’ll see why.”

  There was a growing clamour across the clearing and the cats scattered. My brother was the first to arrive and there was a grin on his face he couldn’t suppress.

  “See?” Edna said. “He hates me.”

  “He’s just excited to be back here. Watch him.”

  Asher ran across the mossy highway like a veteran log roller and joined us. “You okay, sis?”

  “Fine. We’re both fine. Edna needs a lift over.”

  “I do not.” Her indignation was palpable. “I’ve been preparing for this for years.”

  “She’s turned your clubhouse into a bunker,” I told my brother. “Prepping for the zombie apocalypse.”

  “That’s what I built it for, Miss Evans,” he said, untying her swiftly. “I’m glad you got to rise from the dead here.”

  “You’re not funny, young man. I have plenty of needles in my trunk, you know.”

  Asher flinched but he didn’t falter. Instead, he scooped her up and started back across the bridge.

  Edna let her head drop over his arm to look back at me. “Find out who killed me, Ivy. Ask the cats.”

  “Ask the cats?” I called after her.

  “That’s what I said.”

  Asher’s voice blared across the swamp. “She’s delirious, Chief.”

  Edna argued with my brother the rest of the way, yet he never lost his balance. I waited with Keats, hoping they’d leave without me so I didn’t get a similar lecture from Kellan. He waited, hands on hips, till I yelled, “I’ve got to talk to the cats. You heard the lady.”

  Panther was nowhere in sight but Big Red and Fleecy stared at me with eyes like saucers before slipping into the trees.

  “We’ll meet again, Keats,” I said, giving up on them. “I’m sorry to tell you.”

  He gave a full body shake and then started back across the pond ahead of me, tail brushing the mossy logs. Like me, he probably felt our troubles were just beginning.

  Chapter Nineteen


  The next morning I was up so early that I needed a flashlight when I walked around the barn to the henhouse. I shone the light up at the window Charlie had already screened and reinforced, and nearly jumped out of my skin. Staring down from the roof were six glowing eyes. I didn’t need to see them clearly to know I was looking at Panther, Fleecy and Big Red.

  “Just what do you think you’re doing?” I called up to them. “I left plenty of kibble and water. You won’t be getting fresh chicken for breakfast.”

  Six eyes blinked at me, eerie lights flashing off and on. Keats growled, a sound I heard rarely. I didn’t know if it was a warning to me, or just annoyance that the three feline hooligans had invaded his turf.

  “Go on now,” I said, brandishing the flashlight at them. “I can’t feed my chickens if you’re trying to get in.”

  The eyes disappeared for a second as they looked at each other, consulting. Then they looked back at me, unblinking.

  I remembered what Edna had said as Asher carried her off. Talk to the cats.

  Well, I was barely a dog whisperer, and didn’t know the first thing about communicating with cats, really. But no one was around, so it was worth a try.

  “Edna wanted us to chat,” I called up to them. “I’m open to a dialogue, because I know you guys were close.” Their eyes all blinked at once, as if signalling an affirmative. “But I need that chat to happen in broad daylight. Nothing personal, but there are just too many politics.” They turned in another apparent consultation. “I’ve got forty chickens to worry about,” I said. “And you and my dog didn’t get off to a great start. So let’s meet again later, okay?”

  The eyes disappeared suddenly and I had no idea where they’d gone. Maybe they’d circled behind me, waiting to dash into the henhouse when I unlocked the door.

  “I can’t chance it, Keats,” I said. “We’re going to have to leave the hens till Charlie gets here for backup.”

  He continued to growl as we walked back around the barn to do the other chores. “I know it’s unnerving, especially when they can see us far better than we can see them. But if Edna wants us to make peace with them, we need to give it a try. You know as well as I do that fate works in mysterious ways.”

  His growl turned into a grumble of protest as I lit the barn and started the morning rituals. “Your pride took a massive hit, but you’ve got to adjust or it’ll just bite you in the butt the next time. In this case, quite literally.”

  He followed me around a little too closely until I put him to work releasing the livestock. The only way to help an angsty sheepdog was to give him an important job.

  Sure enough, once the goats, sheep and cattle were happy in their pastures, his tail was up and his ears were pricked. He was ready to embrace our next adventure, which just happened to be waiting for us in Dorset Hills.

  I didn’t bother going back to the house before climbing into the truck. “I’ll grab another coffee at The Puccini Café,” I said. “Last night took it out of me and I need to be quick on my feet for this meeting.”

  Keats put his paws on the dash and mumbled agreement.

  “Exactly. It’s time to sink our teeth into this mystery and get it solved. Like Edna said, it’s personal.”

  He turned before I started the truck rolling and offered his white paw in a high five.

  Merle Randall must have been a very handsome young man, because he still cut a fine figure as he gave me a tour of the Riverdale community in Dorset Hills. His dignity was somewhat undermined by the two assertive and vocal dachshunds that pulled every which way at the ends of the leashes in his hand. Meanwhile, Keats stuck to my side on a loose leash I only used for appearances.

  “I just can’t believe how obedient that dog is,” Merle said, shaking his white head. “These two really belong to my wife and they’re impossible.”

  “I can’t take much credit for Keats,” I said. “It’s the breed. Border collies practically train themselves.”

  “Helen spoils ours,” he said. “They’re her babies, now that our daughter and even granddaughter don’t need us much anymore. In fact, our granddaughter is getting married soon.”

  “Congratulations,” I said. “Well, I don’t want to keep you too long, Mr. Randall.”

  “Merle,” he said. “No one calls me mister anymore.”

  I smiled. “Well, I’m old school. As I said on the phone, I just wanted to have a quick word about Edna Evans. I’m speaking at her funeral and hoped to get a bit more background. I know you were old friends.”

  His face reddened and my own warmed in sympathy. It felt wrong to make an old man blush, especially when I couldn’t be fully honest about my mission.

  “I was sorry to hear about what happened,” he said. “She didn’t deserve that. Edna was a proud woman and it would have embarrassed her greatly to end up in a…”

  His voice drifted off, so I supplied, “Puddle.” The marsh was a menacing waterhole but there was no use distressing him further.

  “She could stop a clock back in the day,” he said. “Half the men in Clover Grove fancied her, but I got her.”

  We stopped in front of a bronze statue of what looked like a Cairn terrier. The ratting dogs tended to run together for me, especially in bronze.

  I waited for him to continue and eventually he did. “Edna was as sharp as a tack. Always laughing. She loved to dance—in fact, she never sat one out.” He gave me a smile. “We had a lot of fun.”

  It was hard to believe we were talking about the same person. At least Edna had retained her quick wit and fitness.

  “You were engaged for a while, or so I’m told.”

  Now his color deepened to maroon and he stared at the two wiener dogs, who were squabbling since they couldn’t get him moving. “I intended to spend the rest of my life dancing with Edna. But her sister, Agatha, ruined everything.”

  That I hadn’t expected, but I could dance, too. “Edna had a sister?”

  “Oh yes. A twin who was supposedly identical, but Agatha was dark where Edna was light.” He started walking again and the wiener dogs resumed their pulling and yapping. “When we met, Edna told me her twin had died in a fire that claimed the whole family. Unfortunately, just a month before we married, Aggie surfaced and played the oldest trick in the twin book: she pretended to be Edna and then sweet-talked me into lending her three thousand dollars to cover an old loan. Of course, I gave it to her without question, and when I mentioned it later, the whole thing blew up. Edna was furious I’d fallen for the ploy, and I was furious she lied about Aggie. Now we didn’t have money for a wedding, even if we’d wanted to go through with it.”

  “Did you?” I asked. “Want to go through with it?”

  He shook his head. “Not then. My pride wouldn’t allow it. Edna started repaying me right away. It took years, but she did it—with interest. Meanwhile I met Helen not long after.” He stopped in front of the next statue, a mere half block away, and sighed. “It was too soon. Remind me what you young people call that?”

  “Rebounding,” I said, with a smile.

  “Exactly. I wanted to move on to prove I could. Helen and I married and had Sarah, our daughter, within the year.” He met my eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. Helen and I have had a good life, and Sarah, and now her daughter, are my pride and joy. But I sometimes think of what could have been if I hadn’t been so proud.”

  “I understand pride, too,” I said. “It’s very tough to swallow without some time to season it. But if it helps, Merle, I know for a fact that Edna had regrets, too. The day before she, uh—” I struggled with the word and couldn’t say it. “The day before the puddle incident, she told me you were the love of her life. I didn’t know about Aggie. She just said she’d decided to focus on her career because no one else could compare.”

  “Ah.” His eyes brightened. “I guess that’s why she wouldn’t give the ring back. Maybe in her mind it still connected us.”

  “She kept the engagement ring?”

  H
e nodded. “It was a family heirloom. A huge diamond that’s worth a bomb, in my wife’s words. My mother never let up on it, and it became a sticking point. Helen is mad to this day that I didn’t reclaim it—not so much for the value as for the symbolism.”

  “She felt like a secondhand rose,” I said.

  “That’s exactly the term she used. And when she heard Edna passed, she wanted me to try to get it back through the estate so that my granddaughter can have it for her wedding. It’s what my mother would have wanted, I know that. But I can’t do it. In my day, a man showed honor by keeping his commitments. I was always ashamed of breaking the engagement and tradition said the woman could keep the ring.”

  “Maybe you liked having that tie as well,” I said, smiling.

  “Maybe.” He sighed. “I’m ashamed to say that. It feels disloyal to my wife.”

  “It stays between us, I promise.” I led him back the way we’d come. “Merle, is there any chance your wife would have tried to get that ring back on her own?”

  “Helen? No. She’s in a wheelchair now.” He gestured toward the dogs. “That’s why I’m on leash duty.”

  “What about Sarah or your granddaughter?” I asked. “I’m sure they’d love the ring for her wedding.”

  “Actually, my granddaughter said she’d refuse to wear it if she had it. I think she knows what it signifies and would feel disloyal to Helen. So Edna’s heirs are welcome to it. Someone will inherit a lovely ring and a couple of nice pieces she got from her mother. Unless she pawned them to keep Aggie afloat.” His mouth puckered in a way that resembled Edna’s. “That would have always been a sticking point between us. I assume Aggie went back to Australia and stayed there, financed by Edna. I never heard her name mentioned again.”

  “Good riddance to bad garbage,” I said.

  “Exactly.” He looked around. “I left Clover Grove for Dorset Hills to escape the shame and embarrassment, and I’ve done well here. It’s turned into a circus now, but I always loved dogs so I’ve adjusted.” We got to my truck, parked well away from his house, and he stopped. “Edna hated dogs and all pets, actually. So maybe things worked out just as they should have.”