Tortoise Reform

by Piers Anthony

  "Neat!” she said. Gopher was picking up her nuances of expression; it was her thoughts he read, but she thought of this as speaking, and made accompanying sounds. “You really ride in style. But I don't have a howdah."

  She had a point “Then carry me as steadily as possible."

  "Now where's your cave?"

  "You are walking toward it. I am directing you."

  "You are? I thought I was just going anywhere."

  "Geographic directions need not be conscious. We normally do not inform our carriers where we are going. They have no interest in that sort of thing."

  "This is weird! It's the way we guide horses."

  "What is this beast?"

  She sent a mental picture of a truly huge animal, bigger than a deer, with a human straddling its back. “So you see,” she said, “We do it too, only we call them saddles, not howdahs.” Then she remembered something; Gopher felt the new thought surge into her mind. “Elephants! They have howdahs!” She made another picture, this time of an animal much larger than the horse, with a pendulous dangling nose.

  This was too much for Gopher to assimilate, so he changed the subject. “Do you have a personal designation, to distinguish you from others of your kind?"

  "Sure. I'm Rowan, after the rowan tree, with red berries. At least it's supposed to have; I've never seen one. And what's your name?"

  "I am Gopher, of my local burrow. Gopher Tortoise."

  "The same way I'm Rowan Human,” she said, laughing.

  Gopher did not properly understand this reaction, so he changed the subject again. “What other species govern your realm?"

  She was blank. “Other species?"

  "In our realm, a number of species are sapient. What other sapient creatures share your realm?"

  "No other species. We're the only one. Maybe there are aliens from space or something who are as smart as us, but we haven't met any of those yet, so it's just us."

  "Only one? Then what do you do for burrow mates?"

  "Burrow mates?"

  "The other sapient creatures who share your burrow."

  "Oh, you mean like family and friends. We just have other people in our houses, and maybe some pets. Who do you share with?"

  "Four other sapient animals share my burrow: a rabbit, a snake, an armadillo, and an owl. We are looking for one more to complete our complement. Then we can apply for status as a formal burrow, and reserve the land around us for our purposes."

  "Purposes?"

  "We need to forage for food, and to keep foreign predators at bay. Our lives will be more comfortable."

  "Oh, I see. The same way we own land, so the other humans have to stay off, and we can grow our gardens or whatever."

  They continued to compare notes as they moved, and to understand each other's realms better. But there was one thing Gopher still did not comprehend. “Why were you so unhappy, when I encountered you?"

  "Oh, that! It doesn't matter now."

  "I do not understand."

  "I was crying because I was so lonely. Here I am, stuck with relatives I hardly know while my folks sort out their problems far away. I'm in a strange house, with no friends. I just went out somewhere to lie down and cry. But then you came, and now maybe I have a friend, and least until you go back to your home. So I'm okay now, but I'll be lonely again soon."

  "What is a friend?"

  "Someone you know who cares about you."

  "You have no close associates of your own kind?"

  "Not here. Not yet. I guess they'll come, in time, but meanwhile it's rough.” She glanced down at him, still held by her two prehensile hands. “And of course I know you're not really a friend, you're a tortoise. But you feel like a friend, so that's fine."

  "Perhaps it is similar to the way I feel about my burrow mates,” Gopher thought. “I value them, and am bound to help them in way way I can, and they feel the same about me. We are all unified against others."

  "Your burrow mates really are different animals? Rabbits and things? What about other tortoises?"

  "I stand with my burrow mates. There will be no other tortoises in my burrow."

  "And you said there's an owl, and a snake? I thought owls eat snakes."

  "Not a burrow mate!” Gopher replied, shocked. “We protect one another."

  "Sounds like friendship to me. How would you feel if you lost a burrow mate?"

  "That would be a tragedy. We would have to get another, and that would be awkward. Individuals are not interchangeable."

  "That is so right!"

  While they talked, the girl had been moving toward the cave, climbing down the slope of the sink hole. She was much better at it than Gopher had been, because she could take big steps and keep her balance. That was of course why humans made excellent beasts of burden; they had the bodies for it. Now they were at the bottom—and there was the cave.

  "Wow! I never knew there was a cave here. Of course I haven't had time to explore.” She walked into it, ducking her head to get past the low spots. “But it's pretty dark in here. Maybe I should go to the house and fetch a light."

  Gopher had no idea how she could do such a thing, and at this point just wanted to get back to his burrow. “I will guide you, and warn you of any stumble points. When you return you will be going toward the light, so should not have trouble."

  "Okay.” She carried him on, and soon enough they were there. Gopher spied the hole where his burrow tunnel had broken through to the cave. Following his guidance, she stopped directly beneath it and lifted him up. In a moment his feet caught at the edges, and he was able to scramble up into it.

  "Appreciation,” he thought back at her. “You have saved me much mischief."

  "Will I see you again, Gopher?” she asked. “I'd really like to. I like you better than anyone I've met here."

  "I can return tomorrow if you like. This is an interesting realm."

  "Not half as interesting as yours! I'd like to meet your owl friend, too. I like birds."

  "I will bring Owl along. Tomorrow at midday."

  "Great!” she exclaimed. “I'll be here right then. And I won't tell a soul, ‘cause nobody would believe me anyway, and I'd rather have a great secret."

  Gopher moved on up the burrow tunnel, leaving her behind. Gradually her mental trace diminished, fading with distance.

  Now the significance of what he had found weighed more heavily. A whole new realm! Where animals were stupid, and humans were smart. That would surely amaze his burrow mates.

  But there was something else. The human, Rowan Girl, was not just an example of a weird situation; she was a nice person. She had helped him return, and introduced him to the concept of friendship. She was like a burrow mate, only not one. He had had close mental contact with her, and gotten to know she was genuine. He liked her, and he had never before liked any non-burrow mate, let alone any beast of burden. So he must indeed be her friend.

  He had agreed to return the next day, and he would, because this new realm was fascinating. But also because he wanted to meet Rowan again, and show her to Owl. Gopher moved on up the burrow tunnel, leaving her behind. Her mental trace was very faint, and then it was gone.

  Chapter 2

  Trouble

  It was the largest, fattest, juiciest mouse he had ever seen. He pounced on it, caught it, and swallowed it whole. And there before him was another mouse, even fatter and slower. He focused on it—

  "Burrow Meeting."

  Owl woke with a start. Why did these things always have to happen when he was in the middle of the best dreams? He shook himself, then hauled himself out of his cubby and down the tunnel to the main chamber. Day was almost over anyway, and soon enough he would be out in the dusk hunting real mice.

  The others were already there. Now Owl picked up the aura of excitement. Gopher had something important to tell them. Had he found a good prospect for a sixth burrow mate?

  It turned out to be something astonishingly different. “I have found a new realm!” the
tortoise thought. “One that looks like ours, but where the animals are stupid and the humans are smart."

  There was a rush of surprise. None of the animals had ever thought of such a thing. Humans were beasts of burden, quite useful for that, but none of them were sapient.

  "Have you been dreaming?” Indigo's thought inquired.

  "No, just burrowing deep,” Gopher replied.

  "Maybe one of us should check that tunnel,” Owl thought. “Dreams can seem quite real on occasion, especially if you are tired."

  "Exactly,” Gopher agreed. “I hardly believe it myself. I met a native there, and promised to return tomorrow, and to bring you along."

  Owl realized that he should have kept his mind shut. Now he was committed. “I will go,” he agreed.

  "You met a native?” Cottontail inquired. “Of what nature?"

  "Human. Female. Young. Smart."

  There was general surprise. “The first three I understand,” Indigo thought. “But smart? You mean smart for her type?"

  "I mean smart like an animal,” Gopher clarified. “As smart as any of us, perhaps smarter."

  They were amazed. “I think we all would like to see this smart beast,” Peba thought. “Are you quite sure you weren't dreaming?"

  "Not absolutely sure,” Gopher replied. “That is why I want verification by a burrow mate. But I believe it is true."

  Owl and the others saw this in his mind, and had to believe. Of course burrow mates always accepted the news and beliefs of their fellows. But this was so astonishing that it did have to be verified. Gopher might have been deceived in some way. Tortoises were great burrowers, but not the smartest creatures when it came to things beyond the burrow.

  Now the evening was advancing, and they had things to do. Owl made his way out of the burrow, looked around, and took wing. Late day and early evening was his best hunting time, that being when the day creatures were settling down and the night creatures were coming out.

  Owl did not catch as fat a mouse as he had dreamed of, but it was sufficient. He returned early to the burrow, to get rested for the early start tomorrow.

  As he settled down in his comfortable chamber, lined with feathers, grass, and the remains of prey, he pondered Gopher's strange revelation. A smart human? That seemed impossible, yet it must be so. Meeting her should be a truly novel experience. In fact, seeing that weird realm would be amazing. He looked forward to it.

  Burrowing Owl relaxed and slept. Of course he dreamed, of a huge sapient human refusing to be a proper beast of burden. What would their society come to, if anything like that ever really happened? It was unnerving.

  * * * *

  Next day, shortly before noon, Gopher led Owl down the long tunnel he had dug the day before. Actually he had been working on it for several days, just to see how far down he could go. Of course there was no point in delving so deep, which was why sensible tortoises and armadillos didn't do it. But Gopher was not sensible. None of them in this burrow were. They were all wild youths, looking for adventure before having to settle down to plodding adult life. They were all unreformed. That was one reason why they were having trouble enlisting their sixth burrow mate: smart animals were wary of such a rambunctious crew.

  They went deeper than owl had ever been before, and that made him nervous. The security of a regular burrow was one thing, but this seemed like a tunnel to nowhere. And if there really was a strange other realm at its end—

  Gopher slowed, then halted. “We are here,” he thought. Then he send out a stronger thought. “Rowan Girl! Are you present?"

  Owl almost hoped there would be no answer. But in a moment it came, a thought from a stranger. “Yes, Gopher! I was afraid you wouldn't come, and that I'd have to stop believing in you."

  It was definitely the human and her thought seemed smart. Owl felt troubled. This was worse than the scary deep tunnel. A sapient human was more than unusual; it might be dangerous.

  "I brought Owl,” Gopher thought. “Will you help us down?"

  "Sure.” Now owl heard the vibration of air; the creature was making vocal sounds as she thought! Who had ever imagined such a thing? Tame humans were taught not to make such sounds, lest they interfere with the animals’ awareness of the forest.

  Gopher dropped slowly down into the cave below. Owl peered down and saw that the human was lifting him down to the floor. At least she was normal in that respect, doing the bidding of a sapient animal. But the rest was weird. For one thing, she was drastically out of uniform, covered in brightly colored cloth. For another, she was friendly. Human beasts of burden were normally sullen or neutral.

  The girl set Gopher down, then reached up to the hole again. “I will descend myself!” Owl thought quickly, and dropped down, spreading his wings so as to land safely beside Gopher. He did not want this untamed human's hands on him. Gopher might trust her, but Owl was wary.

  "Oh, you're cute!” the human thought. “I never saw such a little owl!"

  Owl was taken aback. “I am a full-size burrowing owl,” he responded curtly. “I am not cute."

  She was immediately contrite. “I'm sorry. I thought—I've seen bigger owls—"

  "Other species are larger, of course. But they do not burrow."

  "I guess that's it. I'm not expert on owls. I meant no harm. I apologize."

  "Accepted,” Owl thought curtly. What else could he do? But he remained wary of this creature.

  "Rowan Girl does not know our ways,” Gopher thought. “She means well."

  "Of course,” Owl agreed gruffly.

  "Do you want me to carry you out?” Rowan asked.

  "Yes,” Gopher replied.

  "No,” Owl thought.

  The girl picked Gopher up and walked through the cave. Owl ran along behind. He could move faster than the tortoise on the ground, and much faster in the air.

  "I'm so glad you came back,” the girl said. “I was lonely without you."

  "But we met only yesterday,” Gopher protested.

  "I was lonely before you came. But then I had someone to talk with. And now there's Owl, and he talks too. That makes two friends."

  "Friend?” Owl inquired skeptically.

  "Her concept is similar to burrow mates,” Gopher explained. “She doesn't live in a burrow, but she does want companionship."

  "Humans have never been companions for animals,” Owl pointed out. “They are beasts of burden, useful in their place but hardly intellectual associates.” Yet he knew as he thought that thought that the mere existence of this human girl threw all that into question. He remained disquieted.

  "This is a different realm,” Gopher reminded him. “Here they lack burrows but do have friends. She is sapient, so is not the same as an ordinary human."

  Owl did not deign to argue the case.

  The cave opened out into a huge sink hole. “Where did this come from?” Owl asked, astonished.

  "This is a different realm,” Gopher repeated. “Its geography is different from ours."

  So it certainly seemed. “I will explore,” Owl said. He spread his wings and took off into the sky.

  In moments he rose above the rim of the sink hole, and the larger vista opened out beneath him. Gopher was right: this was a different realm, one Owl had never seen before. Its vegetation was similar, and the general lay of the land, but its details were foreign. For one thing there were odd boxes scattered about, and strange level stretches. What were these?

  "They are houses and roads,” Gopher replied to his thought. “I learned this from Rowan."

  Of course the native would know. “Perhaps I should connect to her mind directly,” Owl thought. It rankled him to make the suggestion, but he wanted to understand what he was seeing, and it made sense to learn from the one who knew.

  "She is not used to distance mind contact,” Gopher thought. “She needs experience. We must teach her how to project."

  "Hmpf,” Owl thought. But what could one expect of a human? The fact that she thought at all was remarkab
le enough.

  He flew in a widening spiral, surveying the land. Satisfied that it was unfamiliar as far as he could see, he turned back and glided down into the sink hole.

  Meanwhile the girl had carried Gopher up to the rim of the sink hole, and he was grazing on some of the grass that rimmed it. Tortoises had to eat a lot, their food being far less concentrated and nutritious than live mice.

  Rowan glanced at her wrist. “Oops—I have to go to the house for lunch,” she said. “My aunt will be suspicious if I'm late. I'll come back in an hour, I promise."

  "We shall wait for you,” Gopher agreed.

  "Great!” She took off running toward the nearest of the cubic structures Owl had noted.

  "What is this ‘hour’ she mentioned?” Owl thought.

  "A measure of time, a fraction of a day. She will return when it is used up."

  "We have to dawdle here, waiting for a human?” Owl asked, annoyed.

  "Oh, come on, Owl—you know you like her."

  "She's human!"

  "She's sapient human. That makes all the difference."

  He was right, but Owl didn't want to admit it right away. “I will use the time to explore further."

  "And I will use it to fill my belly,” Gopher agreed. Tortoises were also more placid than owls; it came with their plodding nature.

  "And owls are flighty,” Gopher agreed with good humor.

  Owl took off again. This time he flew over the human girl's head. She glanced up, seeing him, and lifted her arm in a clumsy wave. She was so foolishly friendly! Then Owl was on ahead, passing over the “house.” It was a big structure, with weirdly reflective panels on the sides. Humans had made this thing? But of course humans didn't like to live in burrows for some reason, so they did fashion crude structures in the forest. It was part of their dull lifestyle.

  There was a “road” passing near the house—and something was moving on it. Owl peered at the thing, surprised. It was a box, like the house, only smaller, sliding rapidly along the road. When the road curved, the box stayed with it, like a mouse running along a path. But this box was much larger than a mouse; it was only the perspective of distance that made it seem small.