Complete Indelible Love Series

by Cee, DW

  “This room is almost as big as your engagement ring,” she commented.

  After appraising the room, she added, “I think this room is actually bigger than the apartment Charlie and I are living in right now.”

  “I know. All the rooms are big in this house. I guess it’s only fitting since the house is so big. So, tell me what’s been going on. We haven’t talked in months.”

  “Well, Charlie and I are now transferring next spring so I’ll be around a bit longer.”

  “Yay! You have to give me pointers on married life.”

  “Are you excited that you’ll finally have sex? Or, maybe I should ask, are you scared?”

  “Sarah!”

  “Well, it’s a reasonable question.”

  I was quite scared about my wedding night, but I tried not to think about it. It’s not like I didn’t know about the birds and the bees. I knew what would happen, but that didn’t discount the butterflies that fluttered in my stomach every time I thought about the topic.

  Sarah continued her inquisition.

  “Are you prepared?”

  “What do you mean prepared?” I asked.

  “Do you have lingerie?”

  “Yeah, Gram bought me many in London.” I felt my cheeks flush as I thought of all the lingerie that sat in Jake’s closet right now.

  “What about birth control?”

  “Huh? I haven’t really thought about that,” I confessed.

  “Are you planning on having kids right away?”

  “No.” We hadn’t discussed this, but Jake probably didn’t want kids right away either.

  “Then you better decide what you want to do about birth control. Go see your doctor immediately and get on something.”

  “OK,” I answered. “I guess I should’ve thought of this earlier, but I kept pushing it off. I’ll talk to Jake when he gets home. How are you and Charlie doing?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

  “It’s been heavenly. Married life is definitely better than dating life. There’s more work and compromise, but the love and commitment we feel toward one another is absolutely at its highest level.”

  This was wonderful to hear that married life would be an even greater extension of what Jake and I had right now. I didn’t know how I could possibly love him more, but I looked forward to finding out.

  Sarah also carefully brought up the subject of Max during her stay. I knew that this was inevitable, as he did not seem happy when I saw him at dinner.

  “Emily, did Max say anything to you when he drove you home?”

  “No, but he didn’t seem happy. What’s going on with him?”

  “He’s happy for you, but not happy for himself, is the best explanation I can think of. He thinks of you as the one who got away. He still believes that if he proposed on graduation night, you’d be his bride and not Jake’s.”

  My heart broke for Max. What he was thinking could have been true, but it wasn’t, and there was no point in beating himself over what could’ve been.

  “Did you try to knock some sense into him?” My voice turned irritated. “What’s the point in thinking about what could’ve been?”

  “I know…Charlie and I have had many conversations with him but he can’t shake off what’s in his heart.”

  “Wait, wasn’t he the one who led Jake back into my life? Jake told me that Max encouraged him to pursue me again. Why did he do that if he felt this way?”

  Absolutely, I was forever grateful that Max helped me find Jake again.

  “Emily, don’t you see? Max loves you. He always has. He loves you enough to let you go to the man you love. That’s what bothers him more than anything—the fact that you love Jake and not him. Know that he’s happy that you’re happy—that you’ve found your true love. He just wishes it were him.”

  I exhaled an uncomfortable breath. I thought Max was in a good place and now I felt this burden to make sure he would be OK.

  “Let me think about this, Sarah. I don’t know what I should do.”

  “There’s not much for you to do. He’ll get over it.”

  Sarah looked at her watch and it was already 8:00 p.m.

  “I gotta go. Charlie’s waiting for me at home.”

  “Thanks for coming by.” We walked toward the front door together. “I’ll come by and visit you at work again so we can have lunch.”

  I opened the front door to let Sarah out and simultaneously, Jake walked in and surprised us.

  “Jake, you’re home early!” My heart and face beamed.

  “Hi, Jake,” Sarah said. “Look at your fiancée’s ridiculous grin.” Sarah giggled and rolled her eyes.

  “Hey, Sarah,” Jake said, giving her a hug and a peck on the cheek. “You’re leaving already? Stick around.”

  “Look at Emily. Does she look like she wants me to stick around? I have to go. My hubby is waiting for me.” Her face glowed talking about Charlie, but it couldn’t rival my delight. “See you soon.”

  “Bye,” we both said.

  We entered the house and Jake picked me up again and repeated last night’s steps. We kissed all the way up in one piece, but did not make it to the bed as I wriggled down and pulled Jake to the couch. I had much to discuss with him.

  “How’d you get home so early?”

  “Your lunch must have put the chief in a good mood. As he was leaving, he told me that I could leave if there wasn’t much going on. So, after checking on all the patients, I bolted.”

  “I’m glad you’re home early,” I uttered, making another mental note to be even nicer to the chief.

  “Me too,” he said between kisses.

  I pushed Jake away so that we could talk over more wedding details, as well as a few other matters that he may not care to talk about. He sat on one end of the couch and I moved to the other end, with my legs stretched out and my feet on his thigh. He started massaging my feet.

  “We need to talk wedding.”

  “OK. I thought I deferred all decisions to you.” I could tell he too just wanted to say “I do,” without any of this fuss.

  “You did, and I gave your mom our proxy, but there are a few matters I’d like for us to decide. First, where are we going for our honeymoon?”

  Jake’s face pondered that question for a long time. Neither of us had a preference as long as we were together.

  “Do you want to go more toward an island honeymoon or a city honeymoon?” I added to help in the decision-making process.

  “I don’t care. What do you prefer?”

  “I don’t really care either, but I don’t want to spend the entire time at a beach, plus we were in Hawaii not too long ago. I think it might be boring. I don’t know if I want to go back to Europe since we were just there as well. Honestly, we could just stay home all day for two weeks, and I’d be OK with that.” Anywhere with Jake sounded heavenly.

  “How about we go to an island in Southeast Asia for about five days and stay in one of those huts you mentioned on your list? I have to keep pecking away at your list. Then, let’s go to Japan for the rest of the honeymoon. You can eat a formal kaiseki meal this time without any tears, and even take some cooking classes. I’d love to get a better sense of where you lived. There are many hot springs we can visit and we can also stay in Tokyo and enjoy the city life.”

  “That’s a fantastic idea! My students would love to meet you. I’ll call the travel agent and make all the necessary arrangements.”

  “OK, what’s next?” he asked, trying to get up from his corner to come toward my corner. I stopped him and told him we needed to finish our discussion first.

  “Dinner menu. What do you want to eat? I’m not crazy about the usual steak and potato meal, but I also don’t want to have all fish just in case our guests may not like fish.”

  Jake had no problem coming up with an answer for this quandary.

  “Emily, that one is easy. Let’s not do a sit-down dinner. Let’s have dif
ferent food stations and hire local restaurant chefs. For example, we can call your dream sushi chef—you know the one who studied under Masa—and have his crew come and do a sushi and sashimi station. We can also have a pizza station, and a tapas station. I’ll have Dad call his connections, and there will be a nice steak and veggie station. Oh, we should also call Gram’s favorite Italian restaurant and have the chef come over and do a pasta station.”

  Jake’s idea sounded divine. I could only think of two problems. First, could the chefs commit at the last hour and second, the cost. We were looking to have at least five of LA’s best chefs come and cater our wedding. As much as I liked the idea, I didn’t think it was realistic.

  Jake saw the doubtful look on my face.

  “What’s the matter now?” The foot massage stopped.

  “Do you think we can get all these chefs to cater our wedding on such short notice?”

  “Fourth of July is on a Sunday, and most of these chefs don’t work on Sundays. I’ll have my dad, the chief, and Gram call all of them. They won’t be able to refuse. If they themselves can’t come, they can always send sous chefs.” He seemed quite sure of himself, so I decided to trust him on this one. “What else?”

  This last point I didn’t know if I should bring up. I knew that Jake didn’t like me talking about money.

  “Well…what about the cost? The chefs and sous chefs alone will be a fortune, plus you’re talking sushi and Wagyu beef.”

  “Emily, you really worry too much about how much things cost. We’re only having seventy-five guests. Let’s splurge on the food. I thought you’d be ecstatic with this idea. You’re the foodie.”

  “I am excited! This is probably the best idea I’ve heard all week but…”

  “No, buts. It’s decided. Are we done?” He came toward me with a naughty grin.

  “No.” I pushed him back to his original corner. “Just a little more and we’ll be done.

  Jake obediently sat back in his seat, waiting for me to continue so he can go on with his agenda for the evening.

  “What shall we do about…?” I couldn’t bring up this topic. It was so embarrassing. Maybe I would just talk to Mom and not include Jake. But, then again, he was the other half of a baby so it would be wise to include him in this discussion.

  “About what?”

  “Never mind.” I changed my mind. I couldn’t do it. “I’ll talk to Mom tomorrow about it.”

  “Emily. Speak now or we’re done talking for the night. I didn’t come home early just to talk. We, no I, have more urgent needs.”

  “OK. What do we do about birth control? Do you want to have a baby right away?”

  “Are we actually talking sex?” Indubitably, his face lit up.

  “Yes, we’re talking about sex. What do you want to do?”

  “That’s up to you. What do you want to do? I’m OK with trying to make a baby tonight if you agree to it,” he shined a devious grin, “or we can wait till whenever you are ready. Do you want to come see Carole at the hospital? She’s an OB/GYN.”

  “You’re OK with whatever I decide? Maybe I’ll go on the pill. I don’t know. Can you make an appointment for me so I can go in and see the doctor?”

  “Sure. Are we finally done?” Jake was agitated now.

  “Just one more topic. I need to talk to you about Max.”

  Jake looked perplexed and tentative when he heard Max’s name. We still couldn’t seem to talk about my ex without any tension.

  “What about him? I actually saw Max and Peter at the hospital today.”

  “Oh?”

  “They were on their rounds with Dr. Carter, and we said hello but not much else.” Jake began to chuckle, “Carter runs a tight ship with these students, and he wouldn’t let either of them stop to talk to me.”

  I sighed deeply before continuing my story.

  Jake’s chuckle turned into a frown as soon as he heard my sigh. He nudged my feet down and pulled my body over to him. We sat next to one another, my head on his chest, both his arms wrapped tightly around me.

  “OK. Shoot.”

  “Sarah told me today that Max is unhappy.”

  Jake dropped his arms and pushed himself back to look at me.

  “Why?”

  “How can I explain this? He’s happy to see me happy with the man that I love…”

  “But unhappy that he is not the man that you love?” Jake finished my sentence.

  “Yeah, I guess you can put it that way. Sarah says that he feels that I’m the one who got away. He regrets not having proposed on graduation night.”

  “I don’t! Emily, Max will be fine. He will eventually find another woman and forget you ever existed.” Jake grinned and searched for an annoyed look I refused to show.

  “He can’t ever forget me!” I retorted, but regretted saying as soon as the words left my mouth.

  “Does that mean you can’t ever forget him as well?” Jake’s voice accused with a mock-menacing arching eyebrow.

  “No,” I stammered. “It just means that…well, you should know…it’s not easy to forget me.” I laughed.

  Jake suddenly forced his body onto mine. Conversation was done for the night.

  The rest of the week went no differently than the first few days. I saw Jake first thing in the morning before he left for the hospital. I fixed us breakfast, and he didn’t come back home till I was asleep. I spent my waking hours registering for gifts, picking the dinner menu, and giving my seal of approval on all of Sandy’s picks. Aunt Barbara spent most of her waking hours at our home as well. She figured since the chief was working all the time, she would stay busy with us.

  Friday night, I tried my hardest to stay up and see Jake. I was annoyed that we saw each other no more than thirty minutes a day. I texted, I called. Rarely did I get more than a minute conversation before he got paged to another patient. Once again, my eyes failed me, and I couldn’t stay up any longer. I sent one last text.

  I cannot believe I have seen you no more than an hour in the last three days. It is one thirty a.m. My eyes are closing. Wake me when you get home. Good night.

  Was this how it was going to be the rest of our married life? Ugh, I hoped not.

  I was startled awake with a heavy arm on my body. Jake was fast asleep in our bed. I slowly got up to shower, but woke Jake up in the process.

  “Don’t go,” he whispered.

  I listened and stayed in bed with him a bit longer.

  “What time did you get home?”

  “About an hour ago.” His voice sounded like he was in a sleep coma.

  “You mean you worked twenty-four hours yesterday? What happened?”

  “Lots of emergencies. I am so tired!”

  “I’ll let you sleep. We’ll talk later.” I kissed his forehead and left the room. Exhausted, he didn’t put up a fight. His arm thumped on the bed as I dropped it from my body. Once downstairs, I turned on both ovens and put in the croissant bread pudding and brown sugar-glazed apple wood smoked bacon. Water for the french press began boiling as Sandy and Bobby trickled downstairs.

  To my surprise, Nick came into the kitchen with Jane.

  “Jane!” I ran to give her a welcoming hug. “What are you doing here?”

  “What about me, Sis?” Nick opened his arms. We shared a three-way hug.

  “My boss decided late yesterday to give me this weekend off so I flew in this morning. I thought I’d come and help you with wedding prep.”

  “Mom’s done just about everything so there’s not much to do, but I’m super happy you’re here.”

  “Where’s Jake?” Jane wondered.

  “He ambled into my room about an hour ago and I haven’t seen him since,” Nick answered.

  “Oh, he’s sleeping in his bed right now,” I said.

  “I’m up,” was all I heard as I walked into the breakfast room with all the food.

  I was surprised to see Jake up and dressed already.


  “Why are you up? You should sleep some more.”

  Jake came over and kissed me passionately in front of his whole family. Jane and Nick started gagging and Bobby and Sandy laughed.

  “Are they like this all the time, Mom?” Nick questioned.

  “All. The. Time!” Sandy answered.

  “Sorry,” was all I could say in between the onslaught of kisses.

  We all sat down for breakfast and Jane and Nick both had great news.

  “Mom, would it be OK if I moved back in for a year?” she asked. “My firm wants me to work in the LA office starting this fall. It would be too much of a hassle to find an apartment, so I thought I’d move back home.”

  “You too?” Nick said. “I need to move back in for a year as well. I’m going to defer med school and go do some research at the VA, over by enemy territory.” This of course was his affectionate term for my alma mater.

  “Jane. Nick. That’s fantastic news. Do you know that your brother and I are going to live here for a year as well?” I shared our great news. Nick of course knew we were living here, but Jane didn’t take it as happily as I thought she would.

  “Why?” she asked. “I don’t know if I want to be living under the same roof as you two lovebirds. You’ll probably be worse than you are now. Eew!” To show her disgust, Jane stuck her index finger in her mouth and pretended to gag again.

  Sandy turned to Bobby, who was taking a bite of his bacon, and exclaimed, “Bobby, let’s charge rent. We can make a fortune off of these three. Finally. No more freeloading.”

  “Mom!” Jane and Nick complained loudly enough that Sandy backed down from her landlord-tenant idea.

  I smiled, watching my new family talk, argue, and love each other. From the corner of my eyes I saw Jake watching me revel in his family’s banter. He reached over and squeezed my hand.

  “Emily, what’s on the agenda for today? I am here to help with whatever you need.” Jane looked eager to start her day with me.

  “I’ll help too,” Nick added.

  I turned to Jake to see what his schedule would be like, hoping the four of us could hang out today. Jake read my mind before I spoke. “I have to go back in this morning but I should be done sometime in the afternoon. I’ll call and see where you three will be and join you.”