I sighed and took another sip of my coffee but declined to call him back. I sent him a text that it was just a busy day and I would call him after my last class. He must have been waiting for my response and texted back right away.
BEN: You made my day. Miss you, beautiful.
ME: By texting you back? I’m flattered.
BEN: You should be. I don’t give compliments to just anybody.
ME: Thank you. TTYL!
Okay, I felt better. Who knew all it took was some friendly banter with Ben to lighten my mood? Ugh! I miss him too.
I finished off my coffee and bought water and a muffin for later. My remaining classes went well. I got one of my English papers back, and it was highly marked by my professor. Yes! At least something good happened today. No, scratch that, two things happened. My good grade and Ben.
As I was leaving my study group, an idea formed in my mind, and I pulled out my phone to do a GPS search. Instead of Ben surprising me, it was my turn to surprise him. I looked up the address he added to my phone. It wasn’t too far from campus. I could walk there if I wanted to, but I had my car, so I drove. I picked up some take-out Chinese, which was always a win in my book and then rang his doorbell. I couldn’t wait to see the smile on his face when he opened the door.
His building screams money. It’s new with all the perks, including a state-of-the-art clubhouse with a gym and a pool. I looked around the hallway while waiting for Ben to answer and noticed the art hanging on the walls along with exotic plants and sculptures.
Well, so much for surprising Ben. He wasn’t answering, and I figured he wasn’t home until I heard raised voices coming from inside. I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but I knew it was a male voice.
I almost left the food on his doorstep when his door swung open, and I heard Ben shout, “I got it, father, loud and clear. You can go now.” His blue eyes found mine, and he took a step back in surprise. “Hey, what are you doing here?” he said, his tone slightly agitated.
“I, um, thought I would surprise you for a change with dinner.” I held up the two bags filled with food, and then he held the door open for me to walk inside.
“I’m sorry, Hallie. I didn’t mean to snap at you. This is not exactly a great time for me.”
“I can leave.”
And then before Ben could respond, the other voice I heard approached, a man matching Ben’s height, dressed in a very expensive suit, holding a drink in his hand.
“Who do we have here?” he asked with commanding eyes that made me freeze where I was standing.
“She’s no one to you. Weren’t you leaving?” Ben’s cold tone was back.
He enunciated slowly, “No, son, I wasn’t. I will stay as long as I want to. Now, remember your manners, and introduce us now.”
“Hallie, this is my father, Oliver Chapel. Father, this is Hallie Whitman, my girlfriend,” he said proudly.
Girlfriend? Well, that’s new, and I loved hearing it come from Ben’s lips! His father looked me over from head to toe, making me nervous, but I held my own under his scrutiny.
He extended his hand to me and said, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Hallie. Please excuse my son's rudeness when you first arrived. We were having, let’s just say, an unpleasant discussion. …Whitman? Your name sounds familiar, but I can’t really place it right now.” He again eyed me suspiciously, but I held my own.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Chapel. Ben didn’t know I was stopping by. I can leave, and you two can get back to your talk.”
“No, you’ll stay,” Ben said, standing in front of me, effectively blocking me from his father’s wrathful stares.
He finished off his drink and then he told his son to have a good night and he would be in touch soon. Ben moved me aside in an almost protective stance as his father said goodbye to me. I waved him off since I couldn’t find my voice.
Ben slammed the door behind him and then came over and took me in his arms. “I am so sorry you had to hear that, Hallie. I didn’t know my father was in town. Usually his assistant calls ahead of time to let me know about his arrival.”
“It’s fine, Ben. It’s none of my business. Here, you eat, and I’ll be on my way. I have to study anyway.” I turned to leave, and two strong arms held me back. My back was to his chest as he deeply inhaled the scent of my shampoo.
“Please stay. I want you here.”
“Are you sure?”
“More than anything else in the world. Come, let’s eat this awesome food you were so sweet to bring over.” He took the bags and placed them on the counter while he opened the cabinets for plates and glasses. He filled our plates with generous amounts of orange chicken, rice, and lo-mein noodles, and he carried both to the table.
“I don’t have any soda in the house, but I do have sparkling water and regular water.”
“Any kind of water is fine.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Ben carried two large bottles of Perrier and a container of ice and lemon wedges he must have already had in the fridge.
“Why, thank you. Fancy,” I said, pointing to the lemon.
“Well, it’s courtesy of my father, who likes them with his martinis. Thank you for joining me for dinner. I really appreciate it.”
“You’re welcome,” I said quietly, and we ate dinner happily in each other's company.
I helped Ben clear the table and load the dishwasher. He took my hand and led me over to the couch. He sat up against the pillows and invited me to lie down with him. I’m sure he could tell I was nervous since cuddling can lead to so much more. But knowing me as well as he did in such a short time, he assured me that he just wanted to hold me.
“My father can be demanding to say the least, and he puts me through the paces more now than ever since we’ve been in the States. My grades are fine and have given him no cause for concern, but yet he wants more, and if I don’t comply, then all of this goes away and he sends me packing back to London.”
“You would leave?” I asked nervously.
“No, Hallie, I wouldn’t. I’m not a kid, and I know this may seem like I’m just another trust fund baby, but I’m not. All of this…” he gestured around the room, “is my father, not me. I’m not allowed to work, because he wants me to solely concentrate on school, so I don’t really need or want for anything, well, except you, which I’m sure I will hear about on our next call.”
“Oh, Ben, I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble with your father.”
“You didn’t. He hasn’t been himself in a while, and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. My parents’ marriage has been going through some problems, and a while back he became so angry with her that he sent my mom back home to London. Other than a visit over the summer, she’s not been allowed to come back.”
“Wow, I can’t even imagine how you feel about that. I know if the roles were reversed, I would be really upset.”
“I’m sure your parents are nothing like mine, and you should be happy about that.”
At the mention of my parents, I visibly stiffened in his arms and moved away from him.
“Hallie, are you alright?”
I tried to hold back my tears, but it was no use when I already felt them on my cheeks.
“Hey, what’s wrong? Come here,” he said, and then without waiting, he took me in his arms and held me as I cried into his chest. “Please tell me what’s wrong,” he asked again, and then I wiped my tears away and craned my neck to look at him.
“I’m sorry, Ben. I didn’t mean to scare you. My parents are deceased, and it’s just me and my sister.”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Do you want to tell me about them?”
“Someday. I just can’t right now.”
“Okay, when you’re ready, I’ll be here,” he said and then kissed the top of my head and held me close to him.
Tonight was the night of the frat party, and it was my intention to have dinner with him and then go, but it’s the furthest thing from my mind.
I loved being here with Ben. I guess with his father’s surprise visit and mine, he may have forgotten about the party.
I knew the girls were expecting me, and I should remind Ben. “Hey,” I said, interrupting our quiet moment.
“What’s up,” he asked as he stroked my hair.
“Tonight is the party. Do you still want to go?” I asked.
“Truthfully, no, I don’t. If it’s okay with you, can we skip it this time?”
“Yes, and thank you. My heart wasn’t in it, and I didn’t want to fake it for the night with my friends. Do you mind if I call them to say not to expect me?”
“Sure, take all the time you need. Do you want to watch a movie?”
“Yes, that sounds great. I like everything but horror.”
“Perfect. Let me see what I have.” He smiled and then let me up to make my call while he opened up the cabinet and looked through his movie collection.
I didn’t get Maggie on the phone, but I was able to reach Marina. I could barely hear her with all the music playing in the background. She was disappointed but told me to have a good time with my sexy British boyfriend. Another mention of the word boyfriend. I guess Ben is not the only person who thinks that. Should I mention it? Or just let it go?
“How about an action film…John Wick?” he asked.
“Sounds perfect. Got any popcorn?”
Ben resumed his position on the couch after filling a bowl with microwaved popcorn. He nestled me between his legs, and we half-watched the movie while making out in-between. I could feel his erection pressing into me as he continued to kiss me. His hand slowly went under my sweater and made its way to my bra. His eyes asked for permission, but I was nervous and pulled back.
“Ben, I’m not ready. Is that okay?” I asked, feeling like a fool in front of him.
“Hey, sure it is. Hallie, don’t hide from me, please.”
“I’m not all that experienced, and now I just feel embarrassed.”
He placed his hands on my face and leaned in to kiss me gently. “You don’t have anything to be sorry or embarrassed about. There’s no rush, and I promise not to pressure you. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry I made you feel nervous. Will you stay?”
“Yeah, I can stay a little longer.”
“No, you misunderstand. Will you stay the night? Here with me? I promise, I just want to hold you and wake up to your beautiful face in the morning.”
“Ben, I don’t know. Your suggestion doesn’t sound like taking it slow.”
“I will be a perfect gentleman, I swear. You know, you haven’t said anything about how I introduced you to my father.”
“When you called me your girlfriend?”
“Yes, exactly. How do you feel about that?”
“Honestly, it caught me a little off guard.”
“Yeah, I saw your face after I said it, but that doesn’t make it any less true. I want to be with you, Hallie, and I think you want to be with me too. Let’s just see where this goes, and take it one day at a time.”
“As a couple, exclusively?”
“Um, yeah, that’s the point of you being my girlfriend, because I don’t want anyone else. I made you mine the day we crashed into each other, and I feel we are building something special between us. So, no one else gets to do this,” and he kissed me. “And this,” he touched my cheek. “And never this,” he stood up with me in his arms and carried me toward his bedroom. “Please say yes, and stay with me, Hallie.”
Where was my voice? My mouth felt like a desert desperate for water. I cleared my throat and tried to tamper down my nerves well enough to give him an answer.
When I did, his eyes brightened and he whispered, “Thank you.”
It was late, and I was tired from the day’s events and all we had talked about. He handed me a t-shirt of his and showed me where everything was in his bathroom. He had extra toothbrushes and a few neutral products I could use if I wanted to shower and not smell like Irish Spring soap.
He gave me time to get ready for bed, and I did by taking some calming breaths. I can’t believe I’m staying over a boy’s house and sleeping in his bed without having sex. Leah would have a fit if she knew where I was right now. I trust Ben to keep his word.
I shoved away the rest of my crazy thoughts and combed out my hair, tossing it up in a bun. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I looked over to the t-shirt he had left for me. It was a super soft cotton shirt with the British flag on it. It came down to my knees, so I was covered. I took my bra off, because there was no way I could sleep and be comfortable in it. I came out of the bathroom, and Ben was already in bed, wearing only his boxer briefs.
“You look beautiful. Come here, Hallie.” He pushed aside the covers, and I climbed in next to him with his arms around me, holding me close. He felt amazing, and as I slowly drifted off, he clicked off the light and whispered, “Sleep, love, and thank you for staying with me.” As if he could feel my smile against him, he kissed me, and then we both fell into a sound sleep.
5
Inseparable
I rolled over to my side, feeling around for Ben, only to find the bed empty and his side cold to the touch. I looked around the room and leaned up on my elbows to listen for any sound around Ben’s big apartment.
I can’t believe how well I slept and with a guy, no less. This is a first, and I’m happy to say I enjoyed it. He was true to his word and was the perfect gentleman. He held me and kept his hands around my waist, never inching toward my breasts or near my sex. My thoughts betray me as if I almost sound rejected that he didn’t at least try to cop a feel during the night. If he did, I may have missed it, because I was really tired.
I got up from the bed and quickly ran into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. I found a comb in one of the drawers and combed out my tangled hair. It was on the thick side, and this comb wasn’t working all that well, but it would have to do until I got back to my dorm. I dressed and went in search of Ben. I looked all around and realized the apartment was empty. I looked around for a note and didn’t find one.
Should I leave? Or wait for Ben? What if his father stops by again, and I’m still here? Anxiety was slowly beginning to build as I fretted on what to do. I sat down on the couch and waited for about ten more minutes and then realized this was stupid and I should just call his cell.
I began to dial his number when I heard keys jingling in the door. I looked up to see Ben walking inside, carrying a large bag from Panera Bread. In his other hand was a tray with coffee.
“Hey, beautiful, good morning,” he said so casually like we do this every day.
“Morning! I guess that explains where you’ve been,” I say, pointing to the bags he just placed down on the counter.
“Well, my fridge is practically empty, and my Keurig is busted. Yeah, appliances don’t like me. Besides, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast, but I see here that you’re an early riser,” he said and then pulled me in his arms and gave me a kiss that made my stomach flip upside-down in excitement.
“Ben, it’s past ten. Not really early,” I giggled and then tried to move out of his arms, but he held me back and kissed me again.
“It’s Saturday, so it’s early for me. Thank you for staying with me last night. I never slept better.”
I said nothing in return and just smiled back at Ben. There was something in his eyes that gave me pause, and I didn’t want to push him into a conversation he wasn’t ready to have with me. Instead, I changed the subject and suggested we eat before the food gets cold. The breakfast sandwiches looked really good, and I was practically inhaling the smell of the cookies he added to the bag. An odd mix, but I’m hungry and I rarely say no to dessert, no matter the time of day.
I ate the breakfast Ben had picked up for us, enjoying every bite of the cookie. I finished off my coffee, and I was full. It wasn’t a home cooked meal, but it came pretty close since I began school. Life as a college student is protein bars, lots of coffee, and meals on
the run when you have time to eat. Our food cabinet back at the dorm is filled with junk food with not one healthy snack in sight, thanks to my roommates.
“Ben, are you okay?”
“Of course, why do you ask?”
“I guess I just wanted to know since you seemed pretty upset yesterday with your father’s visit.”
“Yeah, he just gets under my skin, and I don’t always react in the best way. He’s a very busy man and doesn’t have time for idle chit-chat, so when he does show up unexpectedly, it gives me stress.”
“And what about your mom? What kind of relationship do you have with her?”
“Are we sharing now? Because you didn’t want to talk about yours when I asked.”
“I believe I explained why that is, and our situations are very different,” I said curtly and got off the stool to leave. The look of panic was evident in Ben’s eyes when he realized what I was doing.
“Hey, Hallie, don’t leave. I’m sorry.”
“Ben, I have to go home,” I said.
“Why? Because I don’t feel like pouring out my heart right now?”
“No, because every time I mention your father, you turn cold and snap at me. At least you have parents. Mine are gone and never coming back, and there is not a day that goes by that I wish that wasn’t true.” I opened the door, stepped out into the hallway, and walked over to the elevator.
He was right behind me begging me to stay with him. “Hallie, I don’t want to talk about my family because when I’m with you, all I want to do is get lost in your eyes and bask in your light. All of this…” he said gesturing back to his apartment and the grand hallway we were standing in, “is all for appearances, believe me. From where I live, to the car I drive, it’s my father, not me. There was no better day than the day I met you, and I’m happy and feel free when I’m around you. I don’t want my father ruining what I’ve found with you. Please come back inside and stay with me. We can do anything you want, name it.”
Before We Knew Page 4