The Requisite Records of a Misplaced Hero (The Misplaced Hero Book 1)

by Envy Mercury

  He crashed to the ground, Mew still standing on his chest, releasing a savage scream at all the enemies that faced us. She just simply pulled her daggers from his throat in a mess of blood. Mew looked down to the simp lord, then just spit in his face.

  “Very ladylike,” I said.

  “I do what I can Rezzy, I felt he deserved to have a woman spit in his face. It was an opportunity to teach a lesson.”

  The rest of the guards that remained standing in place looking shaken, weapons trembling slightly in their hands. One composed himself enough to shout at the guard that was stationed by the building. We watched as he began to release a large lock that held the large door secure in place. There was a massive roar as a large, horrible beast exited the building entering into our view.

  It was about fifteen feet tall, covered in muscle, formidable and disgusting.

  Well, fuck sticks.

  “Mew, what is that thing?”

  “It’s a Colossal Troll, probably enchanted.”

  “Yeah, it’s pretty- large.”

  “That’s why it is called that. Trolls are very dangerous. It is crazy to have one this close to the city.”

  “I can imagine.”

  “Big, strong, and very hard to beat.”

  “That’s what she said.”

  Mew glanced at me. “What?”

  “Nothing, but it seems we don’t have time for this,” I replied as I held my hand out sideways to the soldiers near us, keeping the giant troll in my vision. I cast a ball of mana at the simp lords, vaporizing them in an explosion, which made my skin tingle with excitement like watching a badass scene in an action movie. Only reminder they existed, their blood and guts spraying across the ground. “Mew, go handle the merchants and that soldier by the wagon. I’ll take on this big fella.”

  She nodded and took off towards the wagon.

  I looked at the colossal beast. I was glad I was far away. It had to be more disgusting up close and probably smelly. The soldier that released it was struggling with leaving its general area. He stumbled and fell down. The troll simply reached its long arm down, picking him up in its nasty large hand as the soldier screamed. The screaming stopped when the troll removed his head with its teeth.

  Ouch. I wonder how bad its breath stinks when your head is inside its mouth.

  The troll sent out a roar that rattled everything around me, and birds that were in the surrounding forest took off in flight up into the sky. I heard shouts as Mew did her thing with her targets surrounding the wagon. Cries came from the wagon as they were trapped, pondering if this nasty thing would get to them. I was sure that was the case, or Mew was just killing the fuck out of people around them. I decided maybe it was both things scaring the wagon women.

  Time to see what you made, Dulan.

  I reached up over my shoulder, gripping my fingers tightly around the hilt of my sword, soothed by the buzzing that hummed up my arm as the blade sang its song of battle to me. Fast little clicks filled the air like a mechanical keyboard as the triangles unlocked from the top-down to the base, granting freedom to my blade.

  Mew had made quick work of the merchants and last guard. She stood staring, momentarily forgetting her task of undoing the wagon lock she was working on. All eyes were on me as they watched me face the massive creature.

  I brought the colossal blade over my head to direct at the creature before me, the sharp edges standing out with a faint glow of blue. That was when it seemed to speak to me, not literally, but I felt something from it. Like it possessed the knowledge. The blade seemed to know exactly what it wanted to do, and it was telling me how I could accomplish it.

  Cool. Freaky, but cool.

  I took a stance and let the blade guide me, its confidence washing over me.

  The beast lumbered along as it stepped towards me. It's thundering heavy steps felt by all in the area.

  Before it could let out another roar, I pushed my feet hard into the ground, believing that the sword was feeding me the truth in the subconscious messages.

  Using my mana, I moved in a flash of light towards the nasty creature. My sword lit a brighter blue as I brought it above my head. In an instant, I reached the giant troll, crashing my sword down against its head. Dust sprung up around my feet as I landed. The troll was gurgling, unmoving. I stepped back a few paces as a seam of blue light formed down its middle. It split down the middle, gore exploding out to its left and right.

  I let out a sigh, thankful that I didn’t become a huge mess like I expected. The smell was terrible. It felt like the inside of my nose was burning. For all I knew, it probably was. I looked down at my blade. It seemed to buzz with satisfaction.

  Been waiting a while for that, eh?

  The blade was clean, which made me grateful once again. I really didn’t enjoy the thought of cleaning troll shit off this pretty blade. Taking a somber look around, I saw that there were no more threats. I lifted my sword to my back, the now-familiar clicking letting me know it was secure in place. Mew just finished up jimmying the lock open as I walked over to her and the captives.

  “Please… please don’t hurt me anymore,” the small red-headed girl spoke up as we opened the door.

  I looked down at her where she was sitting on some hay in the bottom of the wagon. She looked a mess. Looking over all of them, they were each abused in their own ways- small cuts on their bodies and some bruising on their faces. I wondered how long they had all been here. I would think not too long if I thought how a merchant would want to move and sell them as objects.

  “I would never hurt you,” I said to the small redhead. “I would never hurt any of you, sorry if that was a bit scary there.”

  “Truly?” Another girl asked.

  “Rezzy is kind of a dummy, but he isn’t a villain, that’s for sure,” Mew said.

  “Thanks for that, Mew.” I grabbed the chain that bound them all together, causing a few of them to flinch. It broke my heart a little. “I don’t think you ladies need this horrible jewelry anymore.” I focused on the chain- all of the locks that bound their hands and feet unlocked with a click. “That’s a start. Let's get you out of this wagon,” I said, reaching my hand out towards them.

  I gently helped each of them down from the wagon, keeping in mind my mannerisms around them. They had been through enough, and I was sure I looked pretty threatening after wiping all the enemies and the troll off the map.

  They nervously fidgeted and stood around. Some of almost slaves were mostly naked, wearing torn clothing that resembled dirty rags at this point in their lifetime. Too bad there weren’t any malls nearby. I guess I was the next best thing, but I figured we needed to get them patched up first. I set down my bag and dug through it until I found a healing potion. I stood back up and made my way back to them. I noticed the platinum blonde elf was staring at me, like really staring at me. She was literally looking through me.

  I stopped walking towards them all, bottle in my hand, when I directed my attention to her. “Hey, blondie, you ok?” She was still lost in thought, so I snapped my fingers at her, and she came back from her thoughts she had just appeared very lost in. “Are you ok?”

  She turned a little red and fidgeted around a bit. “Um, yes. I am fine. Thanks.”

  “Good deal,” I said to her. I turned my attention to the rest of the ladies. “I am going to give each of you a sip of this healing potion. I think it's time you feel a little bit better.” I went down the line, giving each girl a gulp of the tonic. Even with everything I had seen so far, it was still pretty neat to see the potion at work. Their skin became more vibrant, bruises and cuts slowly faded away, and they looked a lot healthier in general. I finally made it down the line to the platinum blonde elf and offered her some.

  “I really don’t need it. I am ok.”

  “I think you should, nothing wrong with being patched up all the way, I insist.”

  She smiled at me. “Ok… then I will if you say I must.” She took a drink, and then I went over to he
r companion and gave her a sip of potion just like I had all the rest. I heard the platinum blonde’s voice address me again. “Are you really Lord Rezner?”

  I turned around and gave her a smile. “Yup, that’s me,” I said as I gave her a quick salute. “Now, have any of you seen any fairies locked up around here?”

  The redhead who looked drastically better spoke up. “I heard some of our captors talking about them. They are in the other building over there,” she said as she pointed to the third building.

  “Thanks muchly, but before I go do that… I need to do something about your clothing,” I said as I went back to my bag and grabbed a small mana potion. I walked up to the redhead. “Is it ok if I touch you? I need to make contact with your clothing to do this.”

  “Um… sure.”

  I reached up and touched her shoulder. Besides me not wanting these poor girls to look like roughed up sex slaves, having them half covered was exceptionally distracting at a minimum. I focused on her clothes and felt power leave me.

  “Oh, wow!” She exclaimed. I was already on the next girl. I made my way down, sipping a bit of the mana potion every so often. The last two elves must not have been there as long. Their clothing was fine. I told them that was the case, and they agreed.

  I looked down the line at all the ladies. They were in much better spirits as they looked at the dresses I had made them. They were wearing sundresses that were styled as fashion from my world, and I gave them flats for their feet. They raved about how they were comfortable and some of the best dresses they had owned.

  “Mew, could you see if any of these ladies are skilled with weapons? Then go collect what they can possibly use from the battlefield. Those dirtbags don’t need them anymore. I am going to go check out the building that could have the fairies inside.”

  She nodded. “Sure thing Rezzy!” I heard her talking to the women as I grabbed a health potion and made my way over to the building. It looked like the other buildings, with a typical door on the front.

  Well, at least it’s not a vast monster door.

  I grabbed the lock, instantly unlocked it, and I opened the door. I stepped through the entryway, making my way inside. It was dark, and it took a while for my eyes to adjust to seeing what was in there. It smelled like flowers and spearmint, which was refreshing after smelling that troll.

  However, what I saw wasn’t very refreshing. The walls were lined with more cages than I could count. Each pen was full of cute little fairies. They were just like the ones that were in fantasy stories in my world. Around five inches tall, short natural looking dresses. Very pretty, just like little collectible dolls. They didn’t look like they were doing very well, as they looked sick and at the end of their ropes. Some just laid on their sides. I wondered if they were alive.

  “Are you ok? Can you understand me?” I asked over and over as I walked through the room. There was a door at the end of the room, in the back. I opened it and regretted it instantly. This must have been where they produced the bog marrow. So many…little bodies… mangled and just thrown away. I couldn’t breathe, and I felt my hand tremble. I couldn’t take it and closed the door. On my way back through, I opened some of the cages and dipped my finger in the healing potion, putting a tiny bit on my fingertip. I touched it towards their little mouths, which they greedily drank it up. It didn’t work like I had seen it work before. If it helped, I couldn’t tell. Maybe only a little. I quickly made my way back outside, unsure of what I needed to do.

  Mew was talking to the women, and some of them had weapons now. I walked up to them to see if any of them could help me figure it out. They looked in much better spirits, and Mew was being her typical self and joking with them.

  “Hey… Mew. They- they aren’t talking to me. The health potion- it’s not helping, I don’t think. I really need to… I just need to know what to do.” The demeanor of all the women changed and became more somber when they looked at me.

  Mew walked up to me and put her hand on my face. “Rezzy, you’re crying.”

  “Oh, am I? I’m sorry,” I said as I reached up and grabbed her hand on my face. She began to wipe the wetness off my face.

  “It’s ok, it’s not your fault, and you crying isn’t something to say sorry for.”

  The platinum blonde elf stepped forward and set down a bow that she had collected. “Is it dark in there?”

  I looked up at her, feeling embarrassed for crying. “Yes, very dark.”

  “Sunlight is a life force for them, you can heal their wounds, but they need the sun to survive,” the platinum blonde elf said. “Also, it's nice to see you crying Rezner, I’ll help take care of them.” She turned around to the women and told them that she wanted their help to carefully bring out all the fairies so they could get some sun.

  Nice to see me cry? What’s this lady’s problem.

  “When you are in there, don’t open that back door, ok? Just ignore it, please,” I said to them as I attempted to pull myself together. The platinum blonde nodded to me, and they went to work, bringing out the fairies.

  “What’s behind the door?” Mew asked me.

  I fell to my knees in front of her, and she pulled my head into her chest. “Horrible, terrible things.” Then I cried more than I had ever cried in my life from the guilt of seeing how the bog marrow I used was made. Mew just stood silent as she held me, absorbing the moisture from my face, as she ever so softly ran her fingers through my hair.

  Once they were in the sunlight, the fairies started to revive and perk up a little bit more. It really was what they needed. I couldn’t even begin to count how many were there. It could have been hundreds. The elves had collected some leaves that served as little bowl containers for the fairies to drink from, and we used a lot of the health potions, letting them get their fill while they soaked up the sunlight. They started to sparkle. It was so beautiful. It was a good feeling knowing that many were doing better now and safe. It lifted the dark cloud off my shoulders that was weighing upon me.

  I stood there smiling a bit as I watched the fairies recover and zip around. Being the good guy did feel nice. This feeling could be something new I could get addicted to, and I think that would be alright.

  The platinum blonde elf walked over to me. “It seems the fairies are doing much better, and I know they are grateful that you helped them. It was a good thing you did, helping them and us.”

  “I do what I can, including crying for your enjoyment.”

  She fidgeted a bit and messed with her clothes to keep her hands busy. “I’m sorry, I just said what I was thinking at the time. I wasn’t happy you were crying, but I was happy to see you have emotion showing that you cared for others. I was never sure about you before.”

  “Before?” I asked.

  “You don’t recognize me? I mean, I suppose I can be forgettable. It has been a long time.”

  “I don’t think I could ever forget you if I met you before.” I gave her a smile. She blushed again and scrunched her nose. Damn, she was a cute one.

  “I met you a long time ago. I was held captive by your group. But you were kind to me and let me go. It was… very confusing. You also kissed me.”

  “Oh my god! You’re here!” Mew shouted as she pumped her fists into the air. “Rezzy, you found her! You can fall in love and have lots of babies now!”

  Awkward.

  “Princess Valentine?” I asked.

  “Yes, I am Princess Valentine from the Kingdom of Light. I am happy to see you again and really want to hear what happened and why you vanished without a trace all those years ago.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  I did my best to fill in Valentine with what I knew and what I didn’t. Like the fact that I didn’t remember anything from this world. How I had left to my own world with no memories, and how I came to return. Everything that had happened so far and what we planned to do next.

  She quickly explained the kingdom's state and how she had escaped with the other elf that was her lady in wa
iting. Valentine said that shortly after they made it across the water, they were kidnapped and had no way to defend themselves. They were brought here only a few days ago, luckily not yet recognized as who they were or sold off.

  Princess Valentine most likely had my power, as she possessed a lot more after I sent her back to the kingdom’s castle. I just didn’t know how to retrieve it out of her. We tried different things, thinking about it. Putting our hands together. I even put my hand on her forehead, concentrating on having it return to me- nothing. All we could do was carry on with what I had planned to do anyway, which I needed to talk to one of the fairies when I got a chance. Which luckily, I didn’t even have to put in the effort to do it.

  A small voice rang loud directly into my right ear, startling me and making me jump out of my skin. “Greetings! How are you!?”

  I glanced over, and a tiny figure sat down on my shoulder, sitting and adjusting her dress as she used me as her seat. She patted on my shoulder a few times with her tiny hand and beamed up at me. “Thank you so much for saving us, I really very much appreciate it!”

  “It’s no problem, you are very welcome. It’s the least I could do… after,” I said, stopping short remembering the back room.

  She stood up and walked over to my head, her little fists grabbing onto my hair, and she hugged into me, laying her face against my head. “You have a lot of pain, you know? I overheard your tale when I came over to talk to you. I also heard you used that horrible stuff they produced with my kind.”

  “I’m really sorry about that. Very sorry, I didn’t know.”

  “I know,” she said, smiling at me. She then walked over and kissed on my face. “I also know from having contact with you that you speak the truth, Lord Rezner. You didn’t know, and once you did… you came to redeem yourself and saved my people and me.” She moved and sat back down on my shoulder.