MoreJade_LPavlov-eBooks

by Pavlov, Laura

  “How do you feel about your dad being here?” I said, my voice just above a whisper.

  “I can’t stand him, yet I’m completely dependent on him. It sucks that I don’t respect the man who gave me life, you know? He’s just—he’s not a good guy.”

  My hands rest on his bare chest and I run them back and forth, an effort to soothe his worry away. “I can’t imagine how hard that is. Do you think he’s right about Exiled getting signed in the next couple of months?”

  “I don’t know. We have good momentum and they seem genuinely interested. But this business is competitive, and I won’t believe it till we sign on the dotted line.”

  “And what will you do if it does happen?” My voice trembled. I couldn’t imagine Cruz not being here. The thought made me sick.

  “I don’t know. I’m just hoping it drags out until after I graduate.” His fingers drew little circles on my arm, and I fought to keep my eyes open.

  “Do you want to go on tour?”

  “I want Exiled to get signed because I know how much it means to Lennon. But at the same time, I don’t want to do this for the rest of my life. I don’t want to leave school, and I don’t want to leave you. But I’m part of a band, so it’s not really up to me,” he said.

  “I don’t want you to leave.”

  “It probably won’t happen for a while, so let’s not even worry about it.” He kissed my forehead and I moved even closer to him. Every part of my body was touching his, and the sound of his heartbeat lulled me as I drifted away.

  Loud voices startled me from sleep. I was disoriented. “Cruz?”

  He wasn’t beside me. My phone said it was three thirty-eight in the morning. I focused on the voices and one of them was Cruz. I slid off the bed and made my way to the door, cracking it open just enough so I could hear them.

  “Stay the fuck away from my brother,” Cruz said.

  “You’re not his keeper. He’s a grown man.” It was Dex he was arguing with.

  “You think you’re going to do that shit in my house? You can get the fuck out. Find a new place to live. I don’t want it around my brother, or my girlfriend who’s sleeping in the next fucking room. You need to find a new place to live. I’m not doing this anymore.”

  “Yes, oh mighty one. Heaven forbid your little puppet Lennon, or the virgin princess Jade, were to be exposed to a few lines of coke. Their castle might implode, right?” Dex’s evil laugh sent a chill down my spine.

  “Shut your fucking mouth about her. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Come join us, baby,” a female voice said. Are there girls here? She said us.

  “You can leave. The party’s over. Take your shit with you. You can take him as well,” Cruz shouted.

  “What the fuck, dude. That’s expensive shit. You don’t just throw it out the door,” Dex said. His tone was loud and slurred.

  “You don’t have to be an asshole. We were leaving,” another female voice said.

  The door slammed. I hear more voices. Adam and Lennon.

  “He’s out of control,” Adam says.

  “He is, but you need to stop treating me like a child. I can take care of myself.” Lennon spoke now.

  “Can you? Do you think I like being a goddamn babysitter? Stop putting yourself in bad situations. Why the fuck did you come out here with them? I find you sitting on the couch with all that shit spread across the table. So, if I hadn’t walked in, what then, Lennon?”

  “I wasn’t going to do anything. I was just talking to them. You know, Dad gave him that shit, right?” Lennon said.

  “Listen, everyone’s tired. Let’s get some sleep and we can figure this out in the morning. Dex needs to find a new place to live. He’s not going to school and his partying is out of control. Cruz is right, Lennon, this isn’t good for you to be around. We can be in the same band without living with the dude,” Adam said.

  “Let’s talk about it tomorrow. I have a test in the morning,” Lennon said.

  I tiptoed back over to the bed, processing what just happened. I was just in a house where clearly there were drugs out in the open. Could I get in trouble for being here if the police were to come? And did Dex call me a virgin princess? He doesn’t even know me. I hope they do kick him out. I don’t like him.

  “Are you fake sleeping, More Jade?” Cruz chuckled when he slid back into bed with me.

  I laughed. “How’d you know I was awake?”

  “I saw the door close when I came down the hall.”

  I pushed to sit up. “He had drugs and girls out there?”

  “Yeah. With Lennon sitting a foot away from a mound of coke. I’ve told him I don’t want that shit in this house,” he said.

  “He’s insane. But he left?” I asked, wanting to make sure he’d left for the night.

  “Yeah. He’s gone. He needs to get his own place. He can afford it. His dad is loaded, and I don’t want him here.”

  “Why did he call me a virgin princess? He’s such a jerk. Did you tell him?”

  “Hell no. I would never tell anyone. It’s nobody’s business. He’s just an asshole.”

  “You don’t think Lennon did anything, do you?” I asked.

  “No. But I don’t know that he wouldn’t have.”

  “Is that what he had the problem with? Cocaine?”

  “Amongst other things, yes,” he said, pulling me down to lie beside him.

  “How is he going to handle it on tour? Isn’t that lifestyle way worse?”

  “It’s up to him. I mean, I don’t do any of that shit and neither does Adam,” he said. Frustration radiates from him.

  “I love you,” I said, and I heard his breathing settle into a rhythmic pattern.

  “Love you.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Cruz

  Three hours in the studio and my voice was fried. Thankfully I’d cut back on smoking because we’d been putting in a hell of a lot more time in the studio than we were used to. My vocals were strained. We were cutting a new demo and we had a ton of new shit on it.

  We’d put music to something I wrote. Something inspired by my girl. The guys loved it, and Luke thought it was going to set us apart. It was a slow ballad, and Lennon wrote the music to go with it. I hadn’t shared it with Jade yet, because I wanted to surprise her and sing it to her when we worked out all the kinks in the music.

  “You guys miss me living there. Just admit it,” Dex said as we made our way out to the parking lot.

  Moving him out may have actually salvaged the band. We weren’t fighting twenty-four-seven anymore. I didn’t have to worry about what he brought around my brother or my girlfriend, and we had some separation.

  “Sure, dude. We miss your crazy ass,” Lennon said.

  “I’m sorry about all the shit that went down.” Dex looked at me and I nodded.

  “It’s all good. I’m leaving today with my parents. We’re going back east for Thanksgiving,” Adam said. Always the peacekeeper.

  “You two are staying in town, right?” Dex asked Lennon and me.

  “Yeah. We’re going to Jade’s house for dinner. Should be fun,” Lennon said.

  I’m happy my brother agreed to go with me. He loved Jade, and I thought we could both use a normal holiday this year.

  “What are you doing for Thanksgiving?” I asked Dex. He’d offered an olive branch, and I’d take it.

  “It’s the first year since my parents split, so it sucks. I’m going to spend it with my mom in New York. Dad’s off the rails in Mexico somewhere with his twenty-two-year-old girlfriend.”

  I couldn’t tell if he was horrified or impressed. I cringed all the same. The only thing that kept my dad from looking like an old dude who wanted to relive his youth is that he loved my mom. She may be the only thing he loved in this world. It was his one saving grace, e
ven if he’d managed to slowly bring her over to his way. It was the only normalcy I grew up with. I had parents that actually loved each other, even if they were the most selfish assholes on the planet.

  I dropped Lennon off and headed over to pick up Jade before she left for Bucktown in the morning. I hadn’t spent a night away from her in weeks, and I wasn’t looking forward to her not being here. She was standing outside when I pulled up to the dorms.

  “Hey,” she said, getting in the car.

  “What’s wrong? You look all flushed.”

  “Meagan is the Devil,” she said, and I laughed.

  “What’d she do?” I asked, pulling onto the road.

  “She just grilled me about us. You and me. She can’t seem to wrap her head around what you’re doing with me, and she has no problem telling me so.” She was all huffy and angry, and I fucking loved it. Jade was as real as you got. She didn’t hide her feelings and she didn’t have a dishonest bone in her body.

  “Fuck her. She doesn’t have a clue what she’s talking about. I can’t wait till you’re out of there. You know, you could just move in with me now,” I said.

  “Move in with you? Are you insane? I can’t live with you. I’m moving in with Ariana for the rest of the year.” She looked at me like I had three heads.

  “Well, what about next year?”

  She laughed. “Next year Ariana and I will need to find a place. You don’t even know if you’ll be here. And I’m eighteen years old. It’s a little young to be shacking up, don’t you think?”

  “You’re nineteen next month,” I reminded her.

  Yes, Jade’s birthday happened to be on December twenty-fifth. She shared a birthday with Jesus himself. That was how fucking special this girl was. I wasn’t the least bit surprised when she told me.

  “That’s still too young.” She laughed.

  “We’re old enough to do whatever we want. And I don’t know what will happen with the label. They liked the demo and they want to meet after the holidays. This could drag on for years.”

  “Patience is a virtue you know,” she said.

  “Your virtue is the only one I care about.”

  We still hadn’t had sex and it wasn’t because Jade didn’t want to. I didn’t want to rush her. She shared a birthday with the Messiah, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t want to taint or tarnish her goodness. But I was dying without sex. Sleeping next to Jade every night was like Chinese water torture, but in the best way. There was nowhere else I wanted to be, but it was painful at the same time.

  Blue balls are real.

  “I can’t believe you brought your grade up to a B in bio. It’s so impressive,” Jade said when I slipped back behind the wheel. Professor Lockhart posted grades today and I had an eighty-four average going into the final. I just wanted to pass the class, but it was all due to her.

  “Says the girl with the highest grade in the class.”

  “Stop.” She shook her head. “I’m so glad you and Lennon are coming for Thanksgiving. It’s going to be weird not sleeping next to you for four nights though,” she said.

  We parked and made our way down the sand toward the water. Today was the last day of classes, as no one would be at school tomorrow, the day before Thanksgiving. We spent a few hours on the beach before we went back to my place.

  “You count the nights, not the days?” I asked.

  “Yep. My favorite time of day is sleeping next to you.”

  I leaned forward and kissed her. “Same.”

  “Are you sure they don’t care if I come?” Lennon asked as we got on the freeway to head to Bucktown.

  “I’m positive. Jade really wants you there.”

  “Well, she knows you won’t come without me, so I’m guessing she really wants you there,” he said with a laugh.

  “Stop stressing. She wants you there. Her dad invited you too. Last time I was out there, he said we were both welcome.”

  “All right. It’ll be nice to see what normal people do on Thanksgiving,” Lennon said.

  “Are you bummed about not seeing Mom?”

  “Nah. I’m not in the mood for the crowd and the craziness, to be honest. This semester is kicking my ass, and with all the practice we’ve been putting in at the studio, I could use a chill weekend.”

  “Yeah, this will be nice,” I said.

  “I’ve never seen you get a chick flowers before. Well, aside from Mom. You really like her, huh?”

  I glanced at the bouquet and the two bottles of wine in the back seat. My parents may not have been around much when we were kids, but Clara taught us manners early on. I knew better than to show up at a house for dinner empty handed. And the flowers, well, they looked like something Jade would like.

  “Yeah. I like her,” I said.

  “I do too. And, she’s good for you.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Meaning you don’t drink or smoke nearly as much as you used to. You study all the time now. It’s fucking amazing. You’re not nearly as big an asshole as you used to be.” Lennon laughed and I rolled my eyes.

  “Shut the fuck up. I’m still an asshole, trust me.”

  “I’m just giving you shit. I’m happy for you. Jade’s a good girl. What are you going to do if we sign with AF?”

  I knew they’d all been talking about it. I sensed it every time I walked in on a conversation and everyone shut up.

  “I mean, of course I want to finish school, so I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do if it actually happens sooner.”

  I was avoiding the question. I could take classes online and finish my degree if I needed to. But leaving Jade would suck. And long-distance relationships were a shit show.

  “I think it’s going to happen, bro. Do you think Jade would take a break from school and come with us on tour?”

  “No. And don’t suggest it,” I said. My tone was harsher than I meant it to be, but I didn’t want my brother or my father pressuring her.

  “You don’t want her to come?”

  “Of course, I do. But I don’t want her dropping out of school for me. We’ve only been together a few months, and most of that time we weren’t even dating. I’m not going there. Look how well it turned out for Mom dropping out of school to go follow Dad around. No fucking way.”

  “You’re nothing like Dad,” Lennon said. “Those are totally different circumstances.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “Mom liked school, but she admits that she was there to find a husband. She wasn’t into her studies the way Jade is.” Lennon shifted in his seat. He was nervous. Afraid I’d jump ship. He had every reason to be, because I thought about it. More than I should. But I wouldn’t do that to him.

  “I’m not going to abandon you, little brother. But I’m also not going to fuck up Jade’s life. Not that she’d even consider leaving school. She wouldn’t. And she shouldn’t.”

  “That’s not what I’m worried about. Well, it’s not all I’m worried about. Believe it or not, I want you to be happy too. And for the first time in our lives, you seem happy. Really happy,” Lennon said.

  “I am. It’ll be fine. Stop worrying.”

  “You know I appreciate all you do for me, right?”

  “I know you do. We’re good,” I said, pulling in front of Jade and her father’s apartment.

  I got out of the car and leaned in the back seat to grab everything, when someone landed on my back. I didn’t even have to turn around to know it was my crazy ass girlfriend, who was part spider monkey. I reached for the wine and pretended I didn’t notice her attaching herself to my body.

  “Hello? I know you feel me back here,” she said, and her lips grazed my ear.

  “I always feel you, More Jade.”

  I pulled out of the car and stood up, and Lennon chuckled, taking the wine and flowers from me. Jade wrapped he
r legs around my waist, and her hands around my neck as she laughed hysterically. I tilted my head back and she kissed me. Hard. Damn, this girl owned me.

  I’d spent my entire life not being owned by my father. By his power, and his money, and his bullying demeanor. But this gorgeous little dark-haired girl with jade eyes, strolled into my life—and I was done for.

  She slid down my body, dropped to the ground and faced me. “Hey, there.”

  “Oh, hey. I didn’t see you,” I said, tugging her closer.

  She pushed up on her tiptoes and kissed me before turning to my brother. “Hey, Lennon. Thanks for coming. I hope you’re hungry.”

  “Starving,” he said.

  She looked at the flowers and her whole face lit up.

  “These are from Cruz, he picked them out,” my brother said, handing her the bouquet of white and pink flowers.

  She studied the blooms and then stared at me. “How did you know my favorite flowers were peonies and hydrangeas?”

  I gave myself a silent pat on the back. “I didn’t. They just looked like you.”

  She closed her eyes and smelled them, and Lennon laughed. He and I weren’t used to the little things being acknowledged. My mother always had fresh flowers at our homes. If you walked in with a bouquet, she’d have the housekeeper put them in water. She certainly wouldn’t take the time to smell them or appreciate the type of flower you gave her.

  “Come on up. Everyone’s excited to meet you. Oh, big scoop,” Jade said, stopping to huddle between my brother and I. “Sam and Cara are back together. She’s here. Inquiring minds want to know, am I right?”

  Not really. I didn’t give a fuck about Sam’s relationship, but I’d fake it because Jade did.

  “I’ve barely slept since they broke up. I’m so relieved,” I said, my tone flat. Jade and Lennon broke out in a fit of laughter.

  The Moore’s apartment wasn’t large, yet they managed to fit a good group of people in their place. It smelled like turkey and pumpkin pie, not something I was used to. Everyone was kicked back on the couch watching football or working on a puzzle at the coffee table. Jade introduced us to the whole group as the only ones I knew were Jack and Sam. I met Uncle Jimmy and his wife Maria, Sam’s parents. Everyone called the dude Uncle Jimmy. Even his friends. He was tall like Jade’s father, but stockier. I met John and Teresa, and their two kids, Sienna and Piper. And Vinny and his new girlfriend, Emma. John and Vinny were also firefighters. Each one of them pulled me and Lennon in for a half bro hug, like we were part of the family. The whole scene was totally foreign to me—the warmth of this group. The doorbell rang, and in walked a female firefighter. Her name was Sara, and I didn’t miss the way she looked at Jade’s father. I glanced at my girl, who was completely clueless. She hugged Sara and dragged her over to meet me.