“Wow. Stephanie has been around that long?”
She laughed again. “Oh, it wasn’t Stephanie, sweetheart. It was someone else, then someone else. There’s always someone else.” I could hear the pain in her voice.
“And you’re okay with that?”
She stared blankly at me. “It doesn’t matter if I’m okay. Major did not sign up for,” she pointed to a glass sitting on a small table next to the chaise, “this . . . me like this.”
I thought about how my mother longed for a relationship with my father. Would he have done the same things to her that he had done to Elaine? I remember her telling me once as a little girl what I wished for wasn’t always what I needed. I couldn’t help but feel that was definitely applying to me now.
Elaine must have been gauging the look on my face.
“Oh, don’t begrudge your father.” She smiled and I saw the love in her eyes. “Men have needs. I recognize that and I no longer had the desire to meet any of those needs. So, what’s a man to do?”
I shook my head, refusing to accept that. How could she possibly be all right with her husband seeing other women? “You all didn’t want to go to counseling? Or do something to fix your relationship?” I asked.
“I’m fine with our relationship just as long as he keeps it respectful, then we have no problems,” she confessed.
“Wow,” I said. I hoped that I never get to that point in my life. I paused before my next question came out. “So, do you think if I had never been taken, things would have been different between the two of you?”
She shrugged again. “I don’t know. We’ll never know now, will we? But I will tell you this, your abduction altered our lives. So, that’s where my bitterness comes from. That’s why I can’t let it go. Would we have been a happy family? Who knows. Every family has its own dysfunction, but that choice was taken away from me. Yes, we’ve had Phillip all our lives but Phillip isn’t my child. Hell, he can’t even stand me and is simply waiting for me to die.” She released a pained sigh.
I couldn’t argue with that. In fact, nothing about Phillip said he was capable of loving anyone.
“But think about what you feel for Destiny,” she continued as she headed over to the floor to ceiling window in her bedroom. “A mother’s love. That’s what I felt for you.” She was quiet as she looked outside over their massive, manicured backyard. “That’s what I feel for you. It breaks my heart every time you refer to that woman as your mother.” When she turned back to me, there were tears in her eyes. “I’ll never understand or accept that. You want me to be okay with the woman who stole you from me. I know the contract stipulation upset you, but she has to pay one way or the other.”
I nodded only because I didn’t know what else to say or do. Her pain was palpable.
“I saw the way you were looking when Phillip and I were arguing. Or when my family, God bless their hearts, was being their usual obnoxious selves. But our bloodline is our bloodline. That’s one thing we cannot change,” she continued.
I thought about my mother and how she would’ve never disrespected me like Elaine did Phillip, she would’ve never disrespected anyone like that. For once, I understood what she meant when she used to say nurture is more important that nature.
“Honestly, if I was in your shoes, and someone took Destiny, I would be upset as well. So I understand where your anger and frustration is coming from,” I told her. “But my mother is my mother. I can’t change the circumstances of how she became my mother.”
Elaine’s whole body tensed up, so I took a step toward her and put a hand on her arm.
“I would like to get to know you better,” I said. “I’d like to develop a relationship with you, but it can’t be at her expense.” I took a deep breath. My visit with my mother let me know that I couldn’t go that long without seeing her again. I needed to stop straddling the fence and let Elaine know my mother would not be wiped out of my life. “So, if you wish to proceed to press charges, then my mother and I will fight them. We will get the best legal help we can find. Even if we have to go public and get someone to do it pro bono. But I will not turn my back on her, not for any amount of money.” I reached into my pocket, pulled out the check and handed it back to her.
She didn’t move to take it, simply looked at me as tears streamed down her face.
“It’s up to you,” I continued, setting the check on her dresser when she wouldn’t take it. “Here’s your check. If you want to file charges, fine. It won’t change the fact that my family includes Connie Harrison. Now, I’d like my family to include you, too. So you think about it and let me know what you want to do.”
I turned and walked out of the door, proud that I had done what my mother had done so many times for me, I’d stood up for her.
Chapter 37
It had been a week since I had given Elaine the check back. She had yet to say anything to me, so I could only assume that meant that she was planning on moving forward with pressing charges. If that’s what she wanted, that’s what she would get.
Malcolm had taken the news of my decision surprisingly well. He said he was standing by me, whatever I decided to do.
“Good morning, baby.”
The smile on my husband’s face brought me out of my thoughts. I had come up to his office to pick up the paperwork for the new house we were renting. After I’d told him about my conversation, he’d moved fast, found us a place and if everything checked out, we could move next week.
I gave my husband a quick peck. “I’ll go drop this off with the realtor now.”
“Great. Sorry I’m running, have to get into a meeting.”
I loved seeing him in his element. And I could tell he loved being in it. The development team were excited about his app and were already working on the improvements, which gave Malcolm time to begin working on the prototype for another program.
I started checking my social media account as I waited on the elevator door to open. When I heard the ding, I stepped on, my gaze still on my phone, when I bumped right into Phillip.
He scowled at me and just mumbled, “Watch where you’re going.”
“Hello, Phillip,” I said, stepping back.
He grunted, waved me off, and walked around me.
Since I was probably exiled from the Logan family, I figured I might as well go out with a bang. I was fed up with Phillip Logan and about to tell him about himself.
“Can I talk to you?” I said, following him down the hallway into his office.
“I’m quite busy.”
“It will only take a minute,” I said, closing the door behind me.
He sighed, like my mere existence was irritating. “What do you need, Jillian?” he asked as he walked around behind his huge cherry wood desk. It was funny, almost every other executive at Logan Industries had contemporary and sleek furniture. Phillip, who had to be the youngest executive on staff, had this antique looking décor.
I stepped in front of his desk. “From the day I met you, you’ve acted like I have been a thorn in your side and I need to know what your problem is with me,” I said.
He shrugged like he had no idea what I was talking about. “I don’t have a problem,” he said as he began shuffling papers.
“No, you really do.” I sat down in a wingback chair that reminded me of the ones at the Logans’ home. “And I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what that problem is. I want to know where the disdain for me is coming from.”
A smirk crossed his face as he took a seat as well. “Of course, the spoiled little rich girl is demanding her way. Everyone caters to her, so I should too.”
“Are you for real?” I balked. “You know better than anyone else that’s not true. After all, I grew up poor and struggling. You were living my life, so I think that’s a moniker that would go to you.”
He folded his arms, pursed his lips and leaned forward in his leather chair. “Your life? You know, you’re right about that. I didn’t ask to become the replacement chi
ld.” His voice was pierced with anger. “I didn’t ask for both of my parents to die in a frigging car crash. But that’s exactly what happened. And you know what? My aunt and uncle stepped in so I thought I was going to be okay. I was just happy to have a family.” He inhaled, I guess trying to keep himself from getting worked up. “Only I never really did have a family. Oh, I tried, God knows I tried, but I didn’t have one. I had an aunt who was a shell of a person because her precious baby girl was gone. She never had time for anything because she was in mourning for years. She never came to a single game, a play, nothing.”
I started to soften because the pain of his childhood was evident all over his face.
He leaned forward again, his tone stern. “Can you imagine what it’s like growing up living in the shadow of this girl you never knew?” he asked. “Can you imagine drawing a picture for someone, being so proud of that picture, but when you show it to them, it causes them to burst into tears because it’s a reminder that their precious baby girl will never draw them pictures? There were baby photos of you all over the house. We didn’t have a picture of me until my senior year, when I put it up myself.” He released a pained chuckle. “Do you know I burned a few of your baby pictures when I was twelve? Because I was sick of hearing about this perfect child. And you would’ve thought that I was the one who kidnapped you because Elaine refused to speak to me for three months over the torched pictures. I was a child. A damn child simply seeking love.”
I suddenly felt bad about charging him up. “Is that why your relationship with Elaine is so contentious?”
“Our relationship is contentious because she’s a mean old bitch,” he countered. “To me, anyway.” He took a deep breath as he leaned back. “But hey, the good thing is I quickly came to learn my position and I’ve played it very well.”
“And is that your problem with me, you think I’m trying to push you out of your position and take your fortune?” I asked matter-of-factly.
He laughed. “Do you think that’s all I want?” he asked. “I know that’s what Aunt Elaine thinks, that I just want their fortune. I wanted more than money. I wanted love.”
“Do you still want that?”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m good. I became a hard ass because that’s how I survived living with my aunt and uncle. My uncle tried, he really did. But he was always too busy. And then he started staying away from home, and I can’t say that I blamed him. When Elaine lost you, she had nothing left to give.”
I immediately regretted barging into his office. “I’m sorry, Phillip. I had no idea things were like that for you.”
His tone softened. “Was I happy about them going to find you? No. I couldn’t believe it. Maybe I didn’t want to believe it. But you haunted my childhood.”
“We’re not children anymore,” I told him.
He nodded and simply said, “I had no desire to bring you into my adult life either.”
I stood. “Look, I’m here now. I’m not going anywhere.” Even if the Logans decided to press charges against my mother, Malcolm was working here, so we needed to learn how to get along. But I didn’t feel the need to give Phillip all of those details. “It doesn’t have to be a competition.”
He nodded, though he didn’t reply.
“My mother, I mean, my . . .” I paused. In that moment, I decided to stop “othering” the woman who raised me. “My mother used to say ‘a rising tide lifts all boats.’ There is room for all of us to succeed and do well.”
It surprised me, but a small smile crossed his face.
“My mother used to say that as well. I was so young I didn’t know what it meant.”
“See, we have more in common than you thought,” I said with a grin.
His rigid demeanor softened and I felt like we’d just had a major breakthrough.
Chapter 38
It felt strange sitting in this church, with its structured service and choir singing monotone hymns. It was a far cry from the Baptist church I’d grown up in. But Elaine had finally talked to me and said she respected my decision, and had no plans to bring charges against my mother. I knew that took a lot, and I was so thrilled that when she asked me and Malcolm to bring Destiny to church service with her today, I’d felt like I didn’t have any other choice
But now, I felt extremely uncomfortable sitting there like I’d been on display, especially when the priest had asked everyone to acknowledge me and thank God for my safe return. I felt like I was under a microscope, but I’d taken Malcolm’s hand as he held Destiny and went to the front of the church.
The priest began, “As many of you know, the Wingates are longtime members of our church.” He paused and looked down with reverence at Mother Madeline, who sat in the front row. “In fact, as many of you know, we wouldn’t have that new organ were it not for the Wingate generosity.”
She smiled her approval.
“And many of you know of the tragedy Major and Elaine Logan suffered many years ago. The horrible kidnapping of their baby daughter.” He paused for effect. “Well, we are happy to report that their baby girl is home!” He motioned in our direction.
I smiled, but couldn’t help but notice how Mother Madeline was looking at me with a scowl on her face.
We finished the services and headed out into the vestibule, where Mother Madeline was waiting. Her eyes went to Destiny who I was carrying on my hip.
“I can’t believe you brought that baby out looking like a pickaninny.”
My mouth fell open in shock. I’d had enough. I stepped toward my great-grandmother. “Mother Madeline, I know we just met and I know everyone around here—”
“Jill, please,” Elaine said, stepping toward me and whispering a cautionary warning.
I jerked away from her. “No. That’s part of the problem. You all give her a pass to say whatever she wants. No matter how rude and disrespectful it is. That’s not okay.”
“Excuse me,” Mother Madeline said.
“I didn’t stutter. It’s obvious you dislike me.”
“My, aren’t we pompous today?” She folded her arms and smiled.
“You dislike at least fifty percent of me—the brown half. The half that invaded your pristine fairy tale to knock up your granddaughter.”
Mother Madeline gasped and I immediately wished I hadn’t gone there, but she’d pissed me off.
“You are a bigot and it’s not okay.”
“How dare you? I know some black people.”
I sighed and shook my head. “That statement in and of itself is problematic. And the fact that you don’t see that is disheartening.”
Elaine’s sister stepped toward me. “Please. Do not do this here. People are watching and I’m sure you’re not aware, but we let our grandmother be herself.”
I shook my head at her. “And your silence makes you just as guilty as she is. Your silence speaks volumes.”
I turned back toward my great-grandmother. “I don’t mean to disrespect you, even though everything you say to me is disrespectful. But I will not subject my daughter to this.”
“I am just trying to prepare her for the world. She needs to be acclimated.”
“By whose standards?”
“Society will judge her.” She pointed to Destiny’s curly ’fro. “Especially if she’s walking about with her hair like that.”
“What is wrong with the hair God gave her?” I asked.
I saved you from them.
My mother’s words rang in my head. What if I had grown up around these people? Would I have a complex? Would I have been subjected to ridicule because of my own curly ’fro?
In that moment I realized that I had been so focused on all the positive things I missed, but judging from the family dynamics, there would’ve been a lot of negatives that would’ve shaped who I was as well.
I glanced around at the people who were trying to act like they weren’t looking at us and decided nothing I said would matter to Mother Madeline. I’d told her how I felt and that was real
ly all I could do.
“Come on, Malcolm,” I said to my husband, and we headed out of the lobby of the church.
Phillip was standing near the door where we were exiting.
“What?” I snapped at him since he was just staring at me.
A slow smile spread across his face. “I guess you told her. It’s about time someone did.” Then he winked at me and walked away.
Chapter 39
“So with the projected growth, we are on tap to meet all of our 2021 goals. I’m extremely excited about the work our team has done.” Phillip closed his notebook and flipped off the PowerPoint presentation as everyone at the table gave him a round of applause.
“Good job,” said Barry Harris, the Vice President of Operations. “Don’t you think so, Major?” He tapped my father’s arm. He’d been busy reading emails on his phone.
“Huh?” Malcolm said.
“Phillip’s presentation. It was right on point. He far exceeded our quarterly goals.”
“Oh, yes. Good job, Phillip. Good meeting everyone.” Major stood.
Phillip’s lips were tight as he glared at Major. “Wasn’t sure if you were listening.”
“Of course I was. I’ve learned the art of multitasking.” He glanced over at me. “Good meeting, everyone.”
“I think we should go celebrate,” Barry said. “This has been six months of hard work that Phillip has done and I think this is going to lead to big things for our company.”
“Yes! Take the team out, on me,” Major declared.
“You’re not going to come?” Phillip asked.
“Nope, I have a date with my daughter this afternoon,” Major said with a smile in my direction. I’d called and asked him to free his afternoon for me. He’d asked me to sit in on Phillip’s presentation, then we could head out after that.
All eyes turned to me and I felt extremely uncomfortable, especially with the way Phillip was glaring at me.
“Mr. Logan, you don’t think—”
“Are you ready to go, Jill?” he said to me, standing and extending his hand.
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