Defying the Relic Hunter (Coletti Warlord Series Book 11)

by Gail Koger

  “Ewww.” I disconnected. Ok, aggravating an enraged Coletti probably wasn’t a good idea, but he was starting to piss me off.

  Thirty seconds later, Ethan was back. “I know you’re in Glendale and it’s only a matter of time before I find you.”

  “So, you keep saying. Don’t you have a planet to conquer. Some women to steal. Isn’t chasing me over some friggin’ cookies a little demeaning?”

  “Demeaning?” He roared. “You tried to frame me for armed robbery!”

  “True, and I did zap you with a stun gun. I thought warlords were tough dudes and could handle a little pain. Guess, I was wrong. I’m sorry I gave you a boo-boo.”

  “Woman, when I find you, I’m putting you over my knee and paddling your behind.”

  “Wow, how kinky.”

  “Coletti warlords never, ever stop hunting their prey. It might be tomorrow or next week, but I will capture you.”

  “Okey-dokey. It’s your time to waste. Bye-bye.” I terminated the link. Ha! Try calling me now. What Ethan didn’t know was Uncle Aldo had put a gizmo in my wrist communications bracelet that screwed with Central Command’s sensors. Right now, they were searching the wrong part of town for me.

  Summoning a nothing there illusion, I hobbled the last two miles to Uncle Aldo’s workshop. The quaint redbrick house in downtown historic Glendale was where my uncle created all his gadgets. It also had a refrigerator full of food, an old truck I could use and enough credits to keep me going until I found the treasure.

  Was I worried about Ethan popping in on me? Nope. Uncle Aldo’s workshop generated a bigger version of the ENF shield. None of the Coletti sensors could penetrate it. Doing a door-to-door search of the entire city would take them a while and I’d be long gone before they came here. If Central Command tried to break in, the house was rigged to blow.

  The news vids were going nuts about Uncle Aldo’s mysterious disappearance from the county jail. I also made the evening news as a person of interest. The newscaster made it sound like I was Bonnie to his Clyde. They even offered a five thousand credit reward for any information on my whereabouts.

  You’d think the Phoenix Police Department wouldn’t be so eager to toss me in the hoosegow. I had saved that three-year old girl from the sicko pervert. The creep was ripping off the little girl’s clothing when I tapped him on the shoulder. The look on his face when he turned around and found a Tai-Kok standing behind him was priceless. “Boo,” I said and gave him a well-deserved kick in the nuts. He was still moaning when the police arrived. Ok, I had stomped on his man parts a few more times. He wouldn’t be using it any time soon.

  Of course, the fact that her father was Dixon Deeter the head of a notorious biker gang hadn’t won me any brownie points. Or when out of misplaced gratitude Dixon made me an honorary member of the pack complete with tattoo. Uncle Aldo had a hissy fit when he saw it. It made me too identifiable. Ever tried saying no to a bunch of mean-ass bikers? It doesn’t work. Believe me.

  I did a little snooping in Uncle Aldo’s computer and whoa! My backstabbing cousin Giuseppe was in town. Seems he had planned his next theft and guess what he planned to rob? The museum, of course. After all, the amulet was worth ten million credits.

  My narcissistic cousin bragged he was going to pull off the heist of the century by snatching the medallion during the museum’s big event. He wanted the theft splashed across all the news feeds. Giuseppe gloated how he was going to make Zarek and his warriors look like inept fools.

  Yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen. I had kinda riled them up and they would be expecting an attempt on the amulet. Now, not only did I have to deal with a pissed off Coletti, but my cousin too. Giuseppe was an obnoxious prick and unfortunately, a damn good thief.

  Giuseppe’s plan lacked imagination and flare. He and his crew would go in disguised as rich patrons of the museum. He had Uncle Aldo forge guest passes and create several Halloween themed illusion discs to create a diversion.

  Uncle Aldo hadn’t said a word about Giuseppe’s plans or given me any kind of heads up. Was it because I was no longer a clan member? I rubbed at the ache in my chest. God, I hoped not. My uncle was the only family I had left. Ok, I had a few cousins I could count on, but being clanless bothered me more than I thought it would. Uncle Aldo was the clan’s gadget master, so he officially had to help Giuseppe.

  I clicked on another email from Giuseppe. Dum-dum had acquired an electromagnetic pulse gun to take out the power. I shook my head in disgust at all the big yellow smiley faces he had posted. Was he twelve?

  He went on to tell Uncle Aldo that once he’d triggered the holograph, all hell would break loose. Me? If I was a guest, I would think skeletal warriors waving blood encrusted swords around were part of the entertainment. No one would be running for the exits. The chances of him pulling off a successful snatch and grab weren’t good. Should I warn my cousin? Nah. It was his vote that got me kicked out of the clan.

  I was out of time, money and options. If I didn’t get my hands on the amulet before tomorrow night, I was screwed. Luckily, one of Uncle Aldo’s contacts was Humberto Lopez, a master electrician with an awesome security clearance. He had been hired by the museum to add extra lighting.

  My uncle gifted Humberto with a three-day fishing cruise in Baja, Mexico and had planned on impersonating him. Since that was no longer possible, it was up to me to pull off the heist. Alone. Which was pretty damned scary.

  The next morning, it took me two hours to transform myself into a fifty-year old Hispanic man. I studied my image in the mirror. The fake beard, brown contact lenses and a wig with a realistic receding hairline turned me into Humberto’s twin. I winced as the elastic band I used to bind my girls down bit into my skin. It was extremely uncomfortable and made breathing difficult. Hopefully, I wouldn’t be doing any running.

  I drove my uncle’s truck to Lopez Electrical. It was in an old, battle-damaged strip mall along with a pizza joint and a hair salon. I scanned the area with my bracelet. Only the secretary was in the office. I touched an icon and poof! All their security cameras and communication devices went down.

  Now all I had to do was borrow one of Humberto’s company vans and I was good to go. Uncle Aldo’s clever gadgets made bypassing a vehicle security system easy. All I did was point and click. I climbed into an old panel van with Lopez Electrical on the sides and drove to the museum. My scanner showed me where the security guards were located. To my relief, there were no Coletti life readings. Ethan was probably still searching Glendale for me.

  My heart pounding in my chest, I opened the back doors of the van and took a deep breath. I could do this. Giuseppe’s mocking face suddenly appeared in my mind. “You’re as worthless as your father. Blood always tells.” My spine stiffened. My father had died a hero. It was time I proved Giuseppe and the clan were wrong about me too.

  I grabbed my tool kit and a ladder. After a visual survey of the area, I assumed Humberto’s unique gait and walked to the back door. Failure wasn’t an option. I had no desire to spend the next twenty years in jail or God forbid, being forced into marrying a Coletti asshole. Ugh. A fate worse than death. I pushed the button on the intercom.

  “State your business,” a computerized voice said.

  Discreetly, I tapped my bracelet and the voice modulator kicked in. “I’m Humberto Lopez, I have a work order to install some extra lighting.” My voice was now an exact match for Lopez’s, right down to the faint Mexican accent.

  I tried not to fidget while they scanned me. Their scanners should pick up the bio signs of a Hispanic man.

  “Access granted.” The door swung open.

  A security guard gestured at me. “Follow me.”

  I trotted after him. The minute I stepped into the main gallery, the executive, in yet another plaid suit, rushed over to me. “Did you bring the lights I specified?”

  “I did, Mr. Owen.” I opened my tool kit and pull out a miniature circle of gold lights.

  “Perfect.” Owen gestu
red to the display case with my amulet. “I want the lights to cast an unearthly glow over the medallion.”

  “Yes, sir. It won’t take me long to install it. It might cause a blip in your security systems when I power it up.”

  Owen waved his hand. “Fine. Fine. Just get it installed before Ethan Jones shows up.”

  My stomach knotted in alarm. “Yes, sir, and how long before he arrives?’

  Owen glanced down at his wristband. “You have an hour.”

  “I’ll have it done by then.” I placed the lights back in my tool kit and set the ladder up.

  “Good. Good.” Owen hurried over to two staff members rearranging a display. “No. No. No. Not like that.”

  He had just upped the ante a lot. It was a good thing Uncle Aldo had trained me to keep my cool in all situations. The war had forced all of us to become a Jack-of-all-trades, so installing the light was something I knew how to do.

  I hauled my tool kit to the top of the ladder, quickly put in the light and added a few goodies of my own.

  I cast a casual glance around as I climbed down the ladder. The guards’ attention was on the catering staff as they hauled their equipment in. Time for a diversion. Alakazam! A large flock of pigeons flew in the open doors. They swirled this way and that.

  The catering staff dived for cover.

  Mr. Owen waved his arms frantically. “Get them out. Get them out. They’ll shit on the displays!”

  While the guards rushed to do his bidding, I bypassed the security system and opened the display case. When no alarms sounded, I quickly tucked the amulet in a shielded side pocket of my tool kit and placed a holographic disc on the display.

  Mr. Owen’s shrieks grew in volume and more guards rushed in to help.

  I tapped the disc and a holographic image of the amulet appeared. I closed the case and turned the security system back on. As requested, the newly installed lights cast a mystical glow over the display.

  The poor guards kept chasing the non-existent birds around the museum.

  I had the phantom pigeons fly out, packed up my gear and walked over to the hyperventilating Mr. Owen. “If the lights meet with your approval, I need your signature on my work order.”

  “Yes, very nice.” Mr. Owen signed my fake workorder and I strolled out. Fat girl three. Warlord zero.

  Returning the van to Lopez Electrical went off without a hitch. I got into my uncle’s truck and headed back to the workshop. To celebrate my success, I bought myself a chocolate sundae with the cop’s credit chip and ate it gleefully. I couldn’t wait to see the expression on Ethan’s face when he realized the amulet was gone.

  I sang my version of I Am Woman all the way home. “I am woman, hear me roar! I’ve been down, oh yeah! Now I can steal anything. I can defeat a Coletti warrior and kick my cousin’s butt. I am woman. I am invincible. I am a master thief. Oh yeah.”

  Chapter Six

  Tomorrow, I would head out to the Superstition Mountains and find my treasure. But tonight, I was gonna watch the drama unfold at the big gala event. Would Giuseppe escape the big, bad Coletti or would he end up in jail? The suspense was killing me.

  It took me about five minutes to connect the museum’s security feeds to my uncle’s enormous vid screen. I got myself a big bowl of popcorn, poured a glass of wine and settled in to watch.

  The Phoenix Art Museum was a mad house. Who knew there were so many limos in Phoenix? The dizzying flashes of the photographer’s old-fashioned cameras mingled with the twinkling fairy lights draped over the trees. Ancient Aztec stone statues stood like sentinels at the entrance.

  Munching on the popcorn, I switched to the interior cameras and scanned for Ethan. No sign of him, but there was Giuseppe and his team decked out in rented tuxedos. I wondered if the hired help knew they were going up against a Coletti warrior and his Central Command buddies? Probably not.

  The news vids had even hinted that Zarek might make an appearance. I giggled. He would but not in the way the newscaster thought.

  Time to get the party started. I tapped my communications bracelet. The museum’s lights dimmed dramatically. The miniature smoke bomb I had planted spewed a theatrical puff of smoke and presto! The holographic image of the Aztec Emperor Montezuma appeared in the center of the gallery. He wore nothing but a gold breech cloth and a headdress with three-foot blue feather plumes.

  Montezuma pointed his six-foot bronze sword at the stunned crowd and roared, “Death comes on wings to he who dares to steal my treasure. Whoever enters the treasure tomb disturbs the rest of a God. The Guardians of the dead will protect my gold.”

  “Isn’t that Zarek?” a woman gasped.

  An anorexic blonde hopped up and down in excitement. “It is him. Zarek’s so hot!”

  “All I want to do is get a peek under his loincloth,” an elderly matron sighed.

  Montezuma waved his sword around menacingly. “Who among you dares to take my treasure?”

  “Great special effects,” a man called, clapping, too.

  Soon everyone in the museum was clapping loudly.

  My cousin looked like he had been sucking on a lemon. A smart thief would head for the door, but not Giuseppe. Nope, he was in it to the bitter end. Sure enough, the idiot fired his electromagnetic pulse gun. The lights went out.

  Surprise. Surprise. Within seconds, the lights were back on and three Coletti warriors wearing head-to-toe black battle armor had literally caught Giuseppe with his hand in the cookie jar. The stunned look on his face was priceless.

  His crew melted into the crowd.

  It was time to celebrate my victory and give Giuseppe’s team a chance to escape. I touched another icon on my wrist unit. A holographic dancing pink elephant appeared in the display case. “Na, na, na, na, hey, hey, hey. I’ve got the amulet. Hey, hey, hey. Na, na, na, na, the treasure’s mine.” Confetti rained down from the ceiling.

  The holographic image of Montezuma did the Texas Two-Step around the gallery.

  The guests started laughing.

  One of the warriors grabbed my cousin by the neck, lifting him off his feet. “Where is she?” And that deep, growly voice belonged to Ethan.

  “Who?” Giuseppe wheezed and pried frantically at the fingers around his neck.

  “Kizzy Dragos.” Ethan shook him violently. “Where is she?”

  “Don’t. Know,” my cousin gurgled. His face was turning a funny purple color.

  Poof! Zarek, the Overlord of the Coletti clans, appeared next to Ethan. His battle suit emphasized his massive frame and a gold headband held back his gray warrior braids. For a moment he watched his image dance around the museum. He tapped his bracelet and the holograph vanished. He turned to Ethan. “I can’t interrogate a dead man.”

  Ethan released Giuseppe.

  My cousin fell to the floor. Sucking in great gulps of air, he set off a smoke bomb.

  I watched as a thick white mist spewed out, blanketing the gallery. I admired his spunk but had the idiot forgotten about the swell Coletti scanners?

  A red energy beam cut through the fog. Giuseppe hoarse voice cried, “I am Dragos. We never surrender.”

  Holy shit! The fool had shot at the Overlord. That was a death sentence. I switched to the infra-red scanner and watched Zarek kick the laser pistol out of Giuseppe’s hand.

  To my horror, my soon to be brain-dead cousin went for Zarek’s dagger. Giuseppe’s face suddenly contorted in agony and his screams echoed around the museum. I guess when properly motivated, Zarek could easily break through the ENF shield. Not good.

  Guilt and horror knotted my stomach. Had my little stunt put the entire clan at risk? No. Giuseppe’s actions had. I knew what the Overlord was capable of and it wouldn’t take him long to discover all of Giuseppe’s secrets. The really bad news was, Zarek would quickly learn way too much about the Dragos clan too.

  I quickly got on my uncle’s computer and sent out a clan wide warning that Giuseppe had been captured by Zarek. I also attached the vid of the entire even
t. The elders needed to know what he had done. They had protocols in place to handle this kind of situation, but the damage to our clan would be catastrophic.

  A message popped up on the screen. “Destroy the workshop.”

  Oh, my God! Giuseppe knew where the workshop was located and soon so would Zarek. I sent the acknowledgement code.

  I hurriedly threw my suitcases in the truck, along with supplies I would need and set the timer. In ten minutes, a laser pulse bomb would go off, reducing the house to ash. My kindhearted uncle had ensured none of the neighboring buildings would be damaged by the blast.

  I got in my uncle’s truck and headed for the Superstition Mountains.

  Chapter Seven

  The Superstition Mountains are beautiful and deadly. Hundreds of people have vanished in this desert wilderness. Most of them were treasure seekers looking for the Lost Dutchman’s gold mine or Peralta’s hidden horde.

  Some were found later with their bodies mutilated and no heads. Granny Annabel said the mountains were haunted. Did the spirits of long dead Apache warriors still guard the gold? Or did gold fever drive normal folks crazy? Who knew? To this day hikers still find skeletal remains of the unlucky hunters who got lost and ran out of water.

  Me? I was heading into the heart of the mountains. Was I worried about the supernatural warriors? You betcha, the spirit world was real and could hurt you.

  Some say the Lost Dutchman’s mine lies within the shadows of the forbidding rock called Weaver’s Needle. Would I search for it? Hell, no. Poor Ted North was the last psychic treasure hunter who tried. He had been found a week later half dead and mad as a hatter.

  The sun seeped over the mountains turning the morning sky from lavender to pink. It was a good five-mile hike to Hieroglyphic Canyon, and I wanted to get an early start before it hit a friggin’110 degrees.

  A hot wind rose with the sun. My comm-link beeped with an incoming message. I touched the screen. A news vid exclaimed: Priceless Artifact Stolen. The Mexican government is outraged that the museum allowed a brazen thief to snatch the medallion in front of hundreds of witnesses.